Michael's eighth period class is painting three. Most of the students are advanced juniors or seniors, so he can sit back and relax. Not that he doesn't do that anyway, but whatever. Calum doesn't have a class that hour, so he usually wheels Michael's other chair out from his office, plants himself next to Michael, and roots through the snack drawer until he finds something he wants.

Today, he's got a small bag of goldfish (stolen from Luke) and a red bull. One of the seniors looks at him oddly and says, "Mr. Hood, didn't you tell us all not to drink red bull when we took your class? Because we'll get over hyper and die?"

Calum takes a sip from the can slowly before setting it down on the desk. "I am an adult."

"I'm 18," she reminds him.

"I'm am an adult," Calum repeats, blinking at her slowly. Michael snorts and pats at Calum's knee gently.

"Did you hear?" Calum roots through his bag of goldfish, picking around until he finds one deserving of his mouth (Michael's entire life is trying not to roll his eyes at everything Calum does, at this point). Calum chews diligently at the singular goldfish snack in his mouth and swallows it down with a drink from his red bull before continuing. "They finally replaced Mr. Logan."

"The science teacher?" Michael scrunches up his nose at that, because it's not exactly breaking news. He doesn't care. "I didn't like that asshole, anyway. He was too uptight and- and I don't know, he did his job. He was boring."

Calum blinks at him for a second. "He fucked one of his students."

"That too," Michael nods quickly. "But mainly the uptight thing. He wore dress shoes, like, what the fuck? Luke doesn't even wear dress shoes and he's probably the most uptight person I know."

"Wait, Mr. Logan-"

Calum's eyes widen and he spins around to face the student closest to him. The rest of them have stopped painting to listen to the conversation, apparently, as they're all staring back at Calum.

"No, no," Calum says quickly, holding his hands up. "No, Logan didn't do anything, you didn't hear that from me. You didn't hear that at all. Don't- Michael, control your class!"

"Control your mouth," Michael mutters back, but he reaches towards his computer and turns up the music, anyway. His students let out protesting noises, but he just shushes them and turns back to Calum patiently.

"Anyway," Calum rolls his chair over and knocks the armrest against Michael's. "They threw Logan in jail last month, right?"

Michael raises his eyebrows. "I thought they just fired him?"

"Nah, dude, he fucked a minor," Calum starts searching through his goldfish again and Michael sighs. This conversation is going to take forever at the pace Calum's going. "Anyway, so the other science teachers have had to take over and teach his classes, but they finally got a new one!"

He sounds completely thrilled about it, and Michael's instantly suspicious.

"Have you met them?" Michael asks.

Calum pulls out the perfect goldfish and pops it into his mouth, then repeats the process of chewing it throughly and washing it down with a sip of red bull. Michael waits with an unimpressed expression on his face.

"Yeah," he nods finally. "He started today, so I went and introduced myself during first hour. He's really nice. Super hot. I'm already planning your wedding."

Michael flushes and shoves at Calum's shoulder, pushing his rolling chair out from behind the desk. Calum squawks and a few of the students giggle, but most of them are accustomed to their antics, by now.

"Stop arranging my marriages!" Michael demands while Calum rolls his way back. "I'm not getting married, I'm only 25!"

"No, dude," Calum grabs the desk when he gets close enough so Michael can't push him again. "Hear me out, okay, he's literally perfect for you. You know that opposites attract thing? You're his opposite, it's literally meant to be!"

"I don't really take that as a compliment, considering you called him nice and hot," Michael scoffs.

Before Calum can respond, the student closest to them moves their easel out of the way to get a better look at the two of them and nods quickly. "No offence, sir, but I had him for advanced chemistry this morning, and I think you guys are definitely perfect for each other."

"Oh, yeah, a match made in heaven," the girl next to her nods, straightening her paintbrushes.

The boy across from them perks up. "Who?"

"Clifford and the new science teacher," the girl explains. Michael scoffs at them while Calum sips at his red bull and tries to keep eye contact with Michael with a stupid I Told You So look on his stupid face. Michael curses his pale skin, as a bright red flushes all over him.

"Alright, alright, shut up about it," Michael mumbles. "Fuck off, I'll go introduce myself after school." Calum does a wiggly little happy dance in his chair, so Michael kicks the bar under the seat and makes him sink down, then kicks at the wheels until Calum wheels out from behind the desk again.

☆☆

Michael doesn't get to the academic part of the school too often. He mainly sticks to the art rooms and occasionally ventures to the break room or the gym in search of Calum. The only time he goes to the actual learning part of the school is when he's searching out Luke to harass him, or if he actually has to do his job. Which, admittedly, isn't often.

He honestly doesn't even know where the science classrooms are. Not to mention the science teachers offices.

Michael knocks on Luke's classroom door and asks, because he's not about to go ask Calum or, god forbid, a student.

"You literally work here," Luke says as he leads Michael down the hall. "How do you not know?"

"I don't leave my room," Michael admits, albeit dryly. Luke turns right and Michael's pretty sure they've been in this hallway five times, now. "How big is this fucking school?"

"This is literally the biggest high school in the state," Luke responds. Michael mutters something about how they should hire some more fucking art teachers then, but Luke ignores him. "Why are you even going to the science wing? Are you going to hook up with your boyfriend?"

"You've been talking to Calum," Michael accuses.

"I haven't. It's just obvious you guys are perfect," Luke shrugs his shoulders and takes another left. Michael's not sure how he's supposed to get back to his room, he's already lost. Maybe he'll just jump out of a window and make a run for it.

"I'm just going to introduce myself," Michael explains carefully, to make sure there's no way Luke could misinterpreted this and report false information to Calum. "Haven't even met the guy, yet. I'll tell you if I think there's a wedding in the future, though."

"So you're open to it," Luke says. "Letting us arrange your marriage, I mean."

"No!" Michael scoffs. "In what world- whatever, no. Absolutely not. Shut the fuck up, Luke."

Luke sticks out his bottom lip in a pout, but Michael ignores him. They take another left and Luke stops abruptly. Michael stops a step in front of him to make sure he's not going to start fake ugly crying, but Luke just gestures to the classroom next to him, patiently.

"Oh," Michael says blandly. "Okay, thanks, bye."

Luke raises his eyebrow. "Are you going to be able to find your way back?"

"No," Michael admits. "I'll wander. Go grade papers or whatever other nerdy thing you teachers do these days."

Luke sighs in exasperation and rubs a hand down his face, like it's a real burden just to be around Michael. "You're a teacher."

"Bye, bitch," Michael waves his hand dismissively and waits until Luke rolls his and turns around to step into the room. He flicks his eyes around the near empty science classroom curiously.

"Oh, wow," Michael says out loud. The room is practically sparkling clean and about twice the size of Michael's own room. The front half has desks, while the back half has six lab tables. The far wall is made completely of huge windows with a long table against it, filled with various cages and small animals.

His eyes flick to the front of the room, where there's a very attractive man sitting at the teachers desk. He looks up from his computer and abruptly stands up, and Michael feels the sudden urge to clap or something to appreciate the specimen (science word for a science man) in front of him.

"Hello," the man says cautiously, looking around the room to see what's caught Michael's attention and why he's here. "Can I help you with something?"

Michael nods for a second, mainly in approval at this dude, because, wow, before he realizes he's nodding and stops quickly. "Yeah, no, just thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Michael, I teach art."

"Oh," the new teacher pauses and then seems to piece together all the pieces, because he smiles with beautiful teeth and says, "Oh!" But, then, he looks at Michael's appearance and mumbles, "Oh."

Which, okay, ouch. Michael knows he's not the best looking dude, but rude.

"No, sorry," the teacher says quickly, holding his hands out like that's going to cover up his mistakes. "Sorry, it's just- I thought you were a student, is all."

"I get that a lot," Michael shrugs. He's wearing black jeans, (Calum's) vans, and a flannel shirt, which is his usual outfit. Not to mentiom, he's covered in various colored paint splotches and smears from helping a few kids. People usually mistake him for a student. He doesn't mind, it keeps him young.

That does bring his attention to this other teacher's outfit, however. He's wearing fucking dress pants. Not to mention, a nice, white, button up, and shiny black shoes. Michael doesn't doubt that his socks match. He understands why Calum had called him Michael's opposite, now.

That, and he's super fucking hot. Seriously, fuck this guy, Michael doesn't understand why he's allowed to be that attractive while wearing dress pants.

He's tanned and toned, all sharp lines where the sleeves have been pushed up to his elbows (neatly, of course). His skin looks like it's naturally golden and effortless flawless. He's got high cheekbones and a jaw strong enough to rival Calum's (quite a feat, Michael's impressed), and his eyes are the prettiest hazel color Michael can imagine. Not to even mention how cute his little nose is. And, to top it all off, he's got his dirty blonde hair tied into a bun at the back of his head.

"Well, I'm Irwin," the other teacher holds his hand out. "Ashton Irwin."

Michael snorts attractively. "Ha. Like James Bond, right?" Ashton stares at him blankly, so Michael just grabs his hand to shake it. "Nevermind."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," Ashton's strong and Michael resists the urge to rip his hand away and cradle it to his chest, because, ow.

"Yeah, yeah," Michael nods, because he has no idea what the fuck that even means. He thought only English teachers spoke pretentiously, that's usually why he avoids them. There's some scratching at the back of the classroom, so Michael flicks his eyes that way as an excuse to make Ashton release the fucking death grip he has on Michael's hand. It works, as Ashton pulls his hand away and scrunches up his nose at the blue paint now smeared across his hand.

"This isn't toxic, is it?" He asks, holding out his hand.

"What?" Michael tears his eyes away from the cages and looks down at Ashton's giant fucking hands. Ashton's fingers are obnoxiously long, Michael thinks there should be a law against them. Without thinking, he sticks out his tongue and wipes the pad of his thumb over it, then swipes the blue paint off Ashton's hand with it. "No, you're fine, see?"

Ashton stares at his hand with a horrified look. "Oh my god."

"Fuck, sorry," Michael let's go of the gentle grip he'd had on Ashton's wrist and let's the science teacher rub his hand against his dress pants. "It's a reflex, sorry. Anyway, what animals do you have?"

Ashton starts digging in his pocket, so Michael wanders his way over to the table that's housing the small cages and terrariums. When he glances back, Ashton's capping a small bottle of hand sanitizer and running his hands together furiously. Michael subtly rolls his eyes and turns back to the tiny hamster cage.

"Oh my gosh," he enthuses, pulling up the top of the cage with one hand so he can stick his entire arm into it. The tiny brown hamster waddled over to sniff at his fingers and he can't help the giggle that escapes his lips.

"That's Bucky," Ashton says, walking up behind Michael with his clicking shoes.

Michael gasps. "Like Bucky Barnes?"

"What?" Ashton says for the millionth time. Michael looks over so they can stare blankly at each other for a second, before he shakes his head and looks back to Bucky.

"I know who you're named after, Bucky," he whispers to the tiny hamster.

"Are you talking to the hamster?" Ashton asks incredulously. Michael nods and let's his eyes wander over the other cages. He's going to ignore the giant tarantula, and overlooks the rabbit, guinea pig, and rat, before he gets to the good stuff.

"A lizard!" Michael rips his arm out of the hamster cage and clambers over to the cage on the exact opposite side of the table. He shoves his hand into the tiny lizards' cage while Ashton shuffles along nervously behind him.

"It's a gecko," Ashton corrects. "His name is Steve."

"You're fucking with me," Michael laughs and wiggles his fingers to catch Steve's attention.

"No?" Ashton looks startled at the language and accusation. "I don't- no, his name is Steve." Michael looks over and grins at him, so wide that even stuck up Ashton can't help but smile back. He shakes his head when Michael manages to grab the little gecko in his hand and pulls him out of his cage to hold him up triumphantly to Ashton. "You're something else, Michael Clifford."

Michael smirks and let's Steve run over his fingers. "I never told you my last name, Mr. Irwin."

When he looks up again, there's a slight blush on Ashton's cheeks, which, of fucking course, forces Michael to blush as well. "I've heard about you," Ashton admits.

"Yeah?" Michael starts getting a little freaked out with Steve's sticky little hands, so he turns to lower the gecko back into his cage.

"I've just didn't expect you to be so," Ashton pauses so Michael waits patiently. "Juvenile."

"Thanks," Michael replies dryly, closing up Steve's cage and turning to face Ashton. Ashton frowns, but Michael just shrugs. "Hey what do you have during third hour?"

"Prep," Ashton answers, sounding more sure of himself than he has since Michael walked in.

"Free period, right," Michael nods. "Great! I have a drawing class, and we're staring an animals unit! Would you mind if I brought them in to draw your pets?"

"Pet-" Ashton looks like he's going to argue, but must decide it's not worth it, because he just shakes his head, then nods slowly. "Yeah, sure. Anytime."

"Rad!" Michael grins and claps Ashton's shoulder, backing his way towards the door again and leaving Ashton by the animals. "I'll see you tomorrow, then!"

Ashton's eyes practically bulge out of his head as a soft gasp leaves his lips. "Wait- tomor-"

Michael grins and blows him a kiss, then bounces out of the room and leaves Ashton gaping like a fish.