chapter viii.

Satan, Jesus and God but with sexualities
straight satan😈, lesbian jesus💁🏽‍♀️, bisexual god🙏🏻
—

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Has he figured out that you're a celebrity yet?
[delivered 8:01 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Uhhh who?
[delivered 8:01 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Tom, duh
[delivered 8:02 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
The person who you texted because I can't tell the number nine from the number zero apparently
[delivered 8:02 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Ahh yes, how could I forget
[delivered 8:02 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
But no he hasn't
[delivered 8:02 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
And I want to keep it that way
[delivered 8:03 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Whyyyy
[delivered 8:03 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
What if it develops into a lovey dovey thing
[delivered 8:04 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
And you're soulmates
[delivered 8:04 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
You'll *have* to tell him who you are eventually
[delivered 8:04 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Plus, he's probably gonna wanna know what you look like eventually
[delivered 8:04 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
I—
[delivered 8:05 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
First of all
[delivered 8:05 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
It's not gonna be a 'lovey dovey' thing
[delivered 8:05 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Second of all
[delivered 8:05 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
I will not have to tell him eventually because we probably won't even talk for that long
[delivered 8:06 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
At some point we're both prolly gonna forget one another because we aren't necessarily large parts in each other's lives
[delivered 8:06 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
We text every couple of days, maybe two days in a row sometimes
[delivered 8:07 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
That's it
[delivered 8:07 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Third of all
[delivered 8:07 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
If— and only if— I ever tell him who I am, it'll be a while and I'll have to really trust him and I doubt anyone would wanna be someone's friend for that long just to find out who they are
[delivered 8:08 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
I guess we'll have to see, won't we?
[delivered 8:09 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
🤦🏼‍♀️
[delivered 8:09 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
Dear lord what have I missed?
[delivered 8:09 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
JAMEY YOURE HERE
[delivered 8:10 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Now that the gangs all here
[delivered 8:10 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Mackenzie should tell us about her date from the other day
[delivered 8:10 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
Ooo yes I agree
[delivered 8:10 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Okayyyyyyy
[delivered 8:11 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Well for starters her name is Sam
[delivered 8:11 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
She's really sweet
[delivered 8:11 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
Annnnnndddddddd we're going on a second date next week
[delivered 8:12 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
Oooo get it!!
[delivered 8:12 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
#sackenzie #mam
[delivered 8:13 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
...we need to come up with better ship names
[delivered 8:13 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
Oh yeah definitely
[delivered 8:13 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
This is why we're best friends
[delivered 8:14 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
I just got tagged in a picture of me and Ross :,)
[delivered 8:14 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
aww bby
[delivered 8:14 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
it's okay boo don't worry about him
[delivered 8:15 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
like we ended on good terms and all and it just wasn't working anymore but it still makes me sad bc he was my first love and all the honkey tonkey bullshit
[delivered 8:16 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
That makes sense
[delivered 8:16 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
When Alison and I broke up, I was heartbroken remember?
[delivered 8:16 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
or when me and The One Who Shall Not Be Named broke up
[delivered 8:16 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
You helped us through those rough times, and we are gonna help you through this one because that's what best friends do
[delivered 8:17 p.m.]

Straight Satan😈
I love you guys
[delivered 8:17 p.m.]

Lesbian Jesus💁🏽‍♀️
We love you too bub
[delivered 8:17 p.m.]

Bisexual God🙏🏻
^^
[delivered 8:17 p.m.]

—