Capítulo Ocho

                “La pregunta no es quién va a dejarme, es quién va a detenerme.”

             -The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.-

                                                                                        -- Ayn Rand

          Talking about what you’ve been hiding from your crew was never easy. Emotion was never easy. But, for a Captain, not even obtaining all the seven seas could compare how messed up we were. To be cold like the Atlantic, stoic like the icebergs, those were some of the things we had to sacrifice.  

          The fear we invoked. It was primal and heartbreaking. I’ve seen the worst of men try changing their ways of life, just to escape the darkness we harbored. They didn’t want to succumb to it. I called them bastards and hijos de putas. They would never survive, anyway.

          The judgement, it never stopped. When sailing with your crew, some were welcoming, but that didn’t stop them from switching faces. People were sneaky and deceitful. It was how I liked them. Their instincts on the rise. Too bad they were too afraid to even look you in the eyes. They would be full of scorn and a malice so evil.

          All of it would change their perception. Each and every one of my mates lived for the code and honored their Captain with every fiber. But, in our case, I was their code and would always be their Captain until their hearts stopped beating. I had the right to protect them, just as I had the right to do with them as I pleased. I could stop their heart beats whenever I wished, and I wasn’t questioned for it, ever.

          I knew the moment Rafa wanted to know the truth, he would sorely regret hearing it. Their kind wasn’t ready for what was to come.

          No one was.

          Here he sat in front of me, with his head on his lap. His hands came up and covered his ears, like he tried to stop the information from coming into his brain. It would torture him so. This dance was going to kill him and I knew he was damned from the start of this conversation. But, there was no way I was telling him that. It was better this way. It meant one less of a distraction for my first mate, though, I wouldn’t put it against her to start throwing sharp objects at me.

          But, this wasn’t the first time. Among all that gloom, resided a spitfire that could roast. Fe knew what she wanted and she did everything and anything to obtain it.

          My fingers padded my desk.

          Rafa’s voice woke me from my thoughts, I looked him in the eyes. The poor lad was shaking. Out of what? I would never know.

          “All this time...all this time, you’ve been nothing, but liars, the both of you!” He stormed out of my quarters. Where would he go? I would find him regardless. La Marcelina de la Luz was a huge ship, but I knew her like the seas. Unless, he tried running away.

          I got up from my chair, “Rafa! Rafael! Come back, hombre!” He slammed the door, almost broke it, too.

          To be honest, I was glad someone finally knew. It was a nice feeling, yet, I couldn’t help feel the tiniest hint of guilt. Rafa had been nothing, but humble to us. We let him down in a sense, but it didn’t matter at the moment. I couldn’t let something affect me, personally. There were others things I had to worry about.

          First things first was the bullet. How could it have disappeared? And, what did that mean for Fe. So many questions, yet, I had to do everything to get my answers.

          I walked out of my office, almost running to Surgeon’s quarters. The sun had already set which meant everyone was out like a light. This was my chance to finally talk to Fe and maybe even make Val squeal. Oh, I would have so much fun with that last part. When I got to the door, a shadow was already there, lying on the door. It looked like it had it’s arms crossed. As if waiting to pounce on someone. If I didn’t know better than it looked like a spy.

          A male spy.

          Mujer o hombre, it didn’t matter, I would kill them with pleasure. I hated spies just like I hated the Navy. Those bastards worked toe-to-toe with each other. The one thing spies wanted were money, they were worse than those rotten men. Assassins, hunters, they didn’t care. The only thing on their minds was the fat pocketful of treasures they were promised.

          I glued myself to the wall, on alert. The hair on the back of my neck stood up in anticipation. This was what I was made for. My body screamed at me to lunge, but the last time I tried that, I was tackled to the floor by an oaf of a man. Luckily, Fe was there and dealt with Slaymaker, but she wasn’t in the best condition to back me up at the moment. With her down, it was my turn to have her back now. I wouldn’t let this guy hurt my crew --- my family.

          Slowly, I reached for my cutlass. I felt the tip gently graze the palm of my hand. I knew having a weapon concealed under a sleeve would come in handy. I maneuvered it so that I was now grabbing the handle, ready for this pinche idiota to make a move. I moved my attention towards the door and kicked myself. I should have been paying more attention to the enemy. The shadow was gone, but I felt a breath fan my nape.

          I shivered. The feeling so foreign that I turned around, and sliced at whoever was behind me. I made contact with somebody and I heard a grunt. I danced a little inside, smiling like a deranged woman.

          I took a few steps back and crouched, readying myself to whoever dared to try anything against me.

          But, I wasn’t quick enough. He pinned me to the wall, raising my arms above my head. I heard the clang of my cutlass as it hit the floor. Seeing red, I struggled, attempting everything to release his hold. I even tried biting my way out. I didn’t want to fall under his hands.

          I would have rathered a keelhauling than die by any man’s hands. He was having a hard time, too. I may be smaller than him, but I made it my mission never to give up.

          “Stop struggling,” he gripped my arms, hard. If I wasn’t so intent on getting out of this mess, then I would’ve charmed him, but I wasn’t in the mood. After a few moments,  I knew I had to wait it out and calculate his every move. Fe would have scolded me to. I stopped, finally giving him the attention he wanted.

          “Go ahead, do it.” I wasn’t helping my current situation by egging him on, but somewhere along the line, I found this exciting. I could tell he was still looking at me, tense and ready to kill. Why weren’t the lanterns on? I’d have my crew’s heads for this. “If you can’t do your damn job, then let go of me, cobarde!” He was silent, probably hesitating to end me, so there was a chance he would let his guard down. Anyone who hesitated on the job was either a moron or they were too soft.

          His demeanor suddenly changed, he deliberately pressed his rock hard body against mine, cornering me. I smelt blood. It was coming from his face, where I sliced him. I gasped, the desire to wipe off that smug grin on his face was the only thing keeping me sane.

          He did something I swore never to let a man do, especially to me.

          He crashed his lips down on mine and kissed me.

          I tasted blood.

          His blood. This kiss wasn’t sunshine and rainbows. It was commanding. It was getting harder to breathe. His scent and blood mixed together, making me dizzy. At the moment, I was grateful he had my arms pinned. My knees buckled from the adrenaline running through us.

          He was ordering me to succumb, to submit to him.

          To hell with that. I pushed him off me with my own body and it worked. I dodge his arms, and grabbed my cutlass. I spun around in time and held it against his throat.

          I feigned the hurt, “Now that you’ve robbed me of my innocence, would you be so kind to tell me what you are doing on my ship without my permission?” I pressed the cutlass harder towards his neck. I had to calm down and not slice away. I needed him alive, for now. “Well?” My patience was wearing by a thread and if I didn’t have to deal with this guy, I would be by Fe’s side and choking the life out of Val.

          “I think I should be the one asking the questions and you answering them, bruja.” I felt something on the side of my head. The spy had a pistol pointed on my head. I had to think fast. It was life or death now. Some part of me thought he would hesitate pulling the trigger. I thought back to the kiss. It was commanding, but it had a certain gentleness. He could let his guard down a second time. I had to chance it.

          I dropped my cutlass. A gesture to keep the peace. I had to keep myself from throwing up as I said the words he wanted to hear, “You win.”

          He slowly started lowering his gun.

          I knew it. He was certainly spineless.

          Then, he froze, and thought about his action and brought it back to my head. Panic settled into my spine and for the first time, I didn’t know what to do. I looked around, anywhere, just for a plan to form.

          I saw a glint for a brief second. I was about to ignore it when he twitched in surprise. A small needle pricked the hand he was clutching the gun with. His hand fell asleep, making the gun clatter to the floor. I ran for it and brought it up to him. But, it was too late.

          The spy was gone. It was as if he wasn’t there to begin with. The only reminder of him was the gun he left behind.

          How could I have been so naive? Letting him toy with me like that. And, I didn’t get a good look at his face either. That irked me even more. And, what if he came back, again?

          I threw the gun across the ship, hitting the wall to Surgeon’s quarters, muttering obscenities. I didn’t care if I woke the kings out of their slumber. The next time someone came onto my ship without permission, I would see through that they would be shark bait.

          My first mate appeared out of the shadows, with four more needles between her clenched hands. She looked better than she did hours ago. I had a feeling she was behind that. There was only one person on this ship who was an expert in pressure points and that was Fe.

          “The moment I decide to finally fall asleep, I hear loud noises outside the door.” She pulled me into a hug. “I’m glad I made it.” She brushed her fingers through my hair, shushing me and repeating that everything was going to be okay.

          I didn’t realize I was shaking. I knew it wasn’t fear because I abandoned that emotion so long ago.

          It was relief that Fe was okay. She was alive and walking around like her old self. I breathed out a huge sigh.

          I buried my face on her shoulder, “It took you long enough, mujer.”