Y/N POV

I sighed as I stepped up the porch stairs, walking closer and closer
to the McCall's front door. Scott had declared a pack meeting be held.

I raised my clenched hand and rapped my knuckles against the stiff front door, hearing the three knocks echo. Dropping my hand, almost instantly the door opened.

"Hurry in. We have a lot to talk about." Scott rushed, pulling me past the threshold. I quickly stumbled in, taking off my shoes and walking into the house confidently, like I was family.

And as soon as I saw him, my confidence had plummeted.

Stiles sat next to Kira, his arm propping his head up with his elbow, which was against the couch arm. His head immediately shot up to me, and his eyes gleamed with a longing look.

"Okay, now that everyone's here..." And Scott continued on and on about general pack things, about Theo, the doctors.

•

"Anything else?" Scott let out a final breath, finishing. Everyone stayed silent.

"Okay. Then- I guess that's it."

I stood up and prepared to leave,
but a hand grabbed my arm and spun me around. I came face to face with Stiles, a look on his face that I'd never forget.

"C-can we talk?" He choked out, his voice rough and gravelly.

I pursed my lips in thought. Did I want to talk? The last time we did, I left him sobbing in a parking lot. Then again, he left me heartbroken.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Stiles." I eased, pulling my arm slowly from his grasp. His hold on me immediately left as he dropped his entire arm to his side in defeat.

"Please, I-" He paused, taking a shaken breath as he glanced around the room nervously. "I just want to talk."

I let out a breath of defeat of my own, and gestured for him to lead the way. He nodded softly and turned around. Stiles began walking up the stairs and I softly followed, turning at the top of the stairs when he did. He travelled to an empty room, except for the clean guest bed with a perfectly fluffed comforter and pillow set.

"Okay..." I nodded in an awkward manner. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Although I already had an idea of what this was going to be about...

"Y/N, I was stupid." Stiles said, no hesitation. "At the hospital when I- I yelled at you, I didn't want to be harsh. I never wanted to be that angry around you. But, it was the exact opposite. I was so- violent, and... and, harsh."

"Stiles-" I tried to interrupt.

"No, Y/N. I'm not- I'm going to say what I was going to say. I had this, this planned out. I've been thinking this talk through since the hospital, for god sakes." He sighed, running his hands through his hair in aggravation.

"But, I don't- I don't think, I can-" He shook his head as he whispered to himself. I furrowed my eyebrows at his confused state. Seeing him like this was scaring me.

"I can't do it. I can't say it." He hurriedly said, before running last me. I quickly turned my body, following after the boy who had ran out the door.

"Stiles!"

He stopped as his left foot met the top of the stairs, his teary eyes staring back at me.

"You wanted to have this talk, so let's talk!" I scoffed, walking closer. His lips pursed in thought as his right hand nervously played with the knob on the banister.

"Y/N, I can't look at you without, without seeing me yell at you. Seeing that horrified look on your face?" Stiles chokes out, moving his gaze to the hand on the banister.

My heart sank at his nervous and on-edge mannerisms. Sheriff being in the hospital was ruining him. Now, he was worried about him and his father dying.

"Stiles, it's okay." I nodded, walking even closer, although slowly. "I know you're not like that. It's- it's whatever happening to us that's forcing all this on you. You're sad, angry, heartbroken. You feel alone..."

Stiles snapped his gaze to me, almost a look of awe on his face.

"How do you know? How- how are not , breaking, like I am?" He stuttered, his bottom lips trembling as his mouth was slightly parted open.

"Sometimes I am." I nodded genuinely. "I'm-I'm not going to lie to you, Stiles. But, it's not me that's... holding me together. Its- you."

Stiles' head tilted in surprise as he froze, looking at me with a strange look.

  "M-me? Why, why me?" He breathed out, stepping away from the stairs and slightly towards me.

  I took a deep breath and forced my self to spit out what I wanted to say before I thought about it too much.

"Because I love you- Stiles. I love you and, and your fidgeting and how caring you are and just... everything that you do for me even if you're not trying. Stiles, just you being you helps me get past all this complete shit that we're going through. But- it's hurts when I think that you don't like me back."

He took a breath and anxiously looked back to the damn banister, avoiding my gaze.

"Do you Stiles?" I spoke up.

"I- I don't know." He said, his voice small and quiet, afraid of the reaction.

"Well, Stiles-"

"I-" He interrupted, ripping his hand off the knob and looking to me directly. He took both of his hands and clasped them around the back of his own neck, and then dropped them, shaking his head. "I think I do. I- I want, I want to love you, Y/N."

"That sounds like a no Stiles." I spoke, surprised by the voice crack. I had just now noticed my nose had been running and my eyes had been watering. I quickly sniffled and wiped my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

"No, I mean- yes." He groaned and he began to pace within the same 3 feet of floor space.

"Well, what is it Stiles?!" I said louder, becoming angry.

"I can't!" He yelled back, just as angry. I shut my mouth at his volume, stepping back.

"I can't, okay? Do- do you see what's been happening? I'm already worried that I- I only have my dad left, Y/N. I can't add you to the list of people that die on me!"

   I nodded to myself and thought about it. There's no doubt I'd be the same in his shoes. But I also would need someone to be there for me. I wouldn't be able to take it in my own. I wanted to be that for him.

   "I- I can't promise I won't die, Stiles. We live in a place where there's, there's no promise of living through today or tomorrow. But, until that day comes, even if it never does, I want to be there for you. I want... I want to help calm you down, I want to tell you reassuring things as we lie in bed together, I want to be there for you."

  I let out an exhausted breath from my speech, dropping my gaze to the floor. The more I heard nothing from Stiles, the more scared I became that I had admitted too much.

 
   "Y/N."

I kept looking down, full of embarrassment now.

   "Y/N, please look at me." Stiles said, his voice breaking into a whisper again.

Slowly, I raised my head to look at him. My shoulders relaxed and  eventually I was standing up straight again.

   Stiles walked towards me, till he stopped a few mere centimeters from my face. I could feel is small, warm breath fan across my face and there's no doubt he could feel my nervous breaths.

   "Y/N, even though- I'm having such a damn hard time to say it. I, I love you. I really do. For- the longest time now. But... everything got in the way, so many things trying to hurt us, break us apart... I don't-. I can't have that happen to you."

   I bit my lip and nodded, looking away as tears formed. He didn't want to have me. He was still stuck on-

  "But-" He sighed, placing one of palms on the side of my face as he turned it so I was looking straight at him. "I also can't do it without having you."

   I couldn't help the smile that widened on my lips, causing Stiles to let a small one form as well as he studied my face.

  "So, I'm going to kiss you now." Stiles nervously whispered, placing his other hand on the other side of my face. I quietly chuckled and nodded.

   Stiles slowly shut his eyes just as he leaned in, making me do the same. And suddenly, I felt his lips on mine. Stiles was the first to move his lips, slowly kissing against my lips. I moved my lips in rhythm with his, kissing against his soft lips that I'd always wanted to kiss.

   And I couldn't be happier.

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A/N:: wow I'm so so so so sorry this took so long oopsie it's kinda hard to write sad stiles cause it makes me sad thinking about his sad teary face

   love you guys!