FIRST PERSON

 My feet hopped up the porch steps of my house, making my keys cling together, creating noise. I picked out the front door key from the silver jumble of chains, grabbing the handle as I stuck in the key. Turning it left, the door unlocked with a click. 

  I opened the door instantly, walking in as my bag hung at my hip, knocking into the doorway softly. I cursed and spun around, shoving my bag behind me as I shut the door, locking it. Just to be sure.

   Nowadays, locking the door meant a lot more than keeping out rare theifs.

 I grabbed the strap of my bag, and began to take it off, until a crash startled me. That was upstairs. My eyes widened and my eyebrows furrowed, in both confusion and fear. Who the hell was in my house? What the hell was in my house?

  I unzipped a pocket of my bag, digging out a dagger kept for things like this. Crouching down, I quietly put my bag on the floor, readying my dagger. I made my way to the stairs swiftly, peering up them through my eyelashes.

  Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the railing and made my way upstairs. Stair after stair, I became closer and closer to footstep that weren't mine. I heard them coming from down the hallway, towards my room. 

 I huffed and turned around the banister, gripping my dagger tighter as I neared my bedroom door.

  Right before stepping into the open, I hugged the wall, craning my neck around the corner to look into my room. The lamp from my bedside table had fallen, the base crashing into it's ceramic pieces.

  As soon as I tried to step into my room, I was shoved against the wall, my back slamming with a huge thud.

  I groaned and opened my eyes, seeing Stiles. Well-

Not Stiles.

  I took no second chance, before jutting the dagger to his throat, holding it against him. Not enough to cut, but if I wanted to- I could.

  He peered down, not daring to move his neck in the slightest. He looked back up to me with a surprised smirk.

  "Much more prepared than last time, Y/N, I'll have to give you that." He whispered.

  My jaw clenched, and I felt his fingers dig into my shoulders as he held me against the wall. "What do you want? What are you doing here?"

   "I can't come to see my favorite pack member?" He pretended to frown. I only became more pissed, gritting my teeth.

  "I said, what the hell are you doing here?" I snapped, wriggling in his grasp, but it was no use. Although, the longer he didn't give me answers, I might have to cut his throat.  

   Stiles' throat.

His eyebrows raised, and he smiled again. "I think you just came to just the same realization I had."

  I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Dove, as much as I know you're craving to kill me- you wouldn't harm a hair on your perfect little boyfriend's body."

  God, was he right. I wouldn't. I would never be able to kill void, whilst he looked like this. Whilst he was inside Stiles' body. I would kill Stiles. I couldn't kill Stiles. I wouldn't.

   "I can hear him now, you know." He whispered. "He's crying- screaming for you to take that dagger right out the back of this neck. For it to be thrust so far, a red tip comes out the other end."

  I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing for him to see tears slip. "Shut up."

 "He wants you to take the knife and slit his throat so much that we both bleed out. He wants you to forget about him and kill me in this body, in cold blood. He think you can just forget about him. About this body. About how much it means to you. All for the sake of other's life's. Could you do that Y/N? Are you going to murder Stiles to save some innocent life's?"

  My throat began to become sore from how much I was holding in, the longer he spoke. I knew for sure my voice was compromised, that anything I did next would be weak and pathetic. Useless.

  "I can't-" My voice broke, croaking. "I can't do this, Stiles."

"Oh, come on." He urged me. "Do it. Slit my throat so fast, neither of us will feel it."

  "I can't, I can't, I can't." I furiously shook my head, definitely shaking in place underneath his hold.

"No- you can't." He viciously snapped.

 I began crying childishly. Sobbing so incoherently, I for sure looked like a wreck. Just how I felt. Like a complete utter mess.

 "I'm sorry." I whispered out to Stiles. "I'm sorry, Stiles. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't do this."

  "We know." He spoke effortlessly. Emotionless.

"I love you too much, Stiles." I continued. "I love you too much to do that. Somewhere- deep down- I  know we'll get you back. You. The you that I used to know. The you that I fell in love with, the you I'll always be in love with. Because you mean so much to me, I'd rather slit my own throat. Stiles, I love you."

  He smirked at me, almost shaking his head at me. I took a shaky breath, giving my self a confident nod.

  I ripped the dagger from his throat, placing it to my own. He looked to me with wide eyes, genuinely surprised.

  "Stiles- I love you."

I pressed and a muted cry left my lips, feeling the burning sensation of separation the thin skin of my neck. Leaving it to the bare open air, feeling the blood run down my neck in a stream.

  I didn't want to look down to it, but the look on his face proved it all. He'd actually let me go, backing up with a worried expression. His hands tugged at his hair and he violently bent over, aggressive.

  "No, no!" He shouted. "Shut up, shut up! Stop it!"

 I winced when I took the dagger from the wound, the metal touching it as it was removed. I dropped it with a thud to my carpet, my hands moving to my collar bones as I interrupted the flow of the blood with my shaking fingers. I felt it smudge under my touch, painting my skin red. I followed the trail, finding the ridge of the cut. It wasn't deep enough to my throat, but in enough time, I would have no doubt that I would bleed out right in my own room. In my own hands.

   "No, you can't do that!" He continued to shout. "STOP!"

My legs shook and suddenly, I was sitting on the ground, my shoulder hitting the wall again as I settled on the floor, my eyesight dazing off towards the window of my room.

   I was startled when a deep gasp shocked me, and I lazily looked over to the crouched figure in front of me. His hands on his head, he took slow, heavy breaths, calming himself.

  He looked up to me eventually, his head slowly rising. Tears fell from his eyes, and they widened when they met mine. It couldn't.

"Y/N-" He stuttered, his voice cracking. Stiles scrambled over to me on his knees, taking my body in his arms hastily. Immediately, I felt his was shaking horribly.  One hand was on my arm, keeping me against his body, while I slowly watched his other hand rip his phone from his pocket, dialing messily.

   "He- Hello? P-Please, please. I need an- an ambulance!"

[       ]

   Beep.

   Beep.

   Beep.

I groaned at the pounding in my head, reaching up to grip it. A wire smacked against my arm, and in confusion, I slowly opened my eyes, becoming aware that I was in the hospital room. What?

  I looked down at my body, seeing me in a hospital bed, and I felt a scratch against my chin.  I reached up to my throat, feeling a large bandage completely covering the front. I hissed as the bandage pressed against the wound, the memories coming back in a flood.

  I slit my own throat.

I let my hand fall to the bed, back to it's place, relaxing my head into the pillow. I slit my throat. I probably almost bled out. Someone probably found me. No- Stiles was there. Nogitsune was in him. He broke free. He expelled the Nogitsune. He called an ambulance. He saved me, and himself.

  A small gasp passed my lips, more as a croak, as I hurriedly looked around my room for Stiles. An empty plastic chair sat in my side, no Stiles present.

  A hurried beeping caught my attention and I worriedly looked over to the large machine next to me, the heart rate bouncing back and forth. Me? Was I freaking out? Only because Stiles wasn't here. Where's Stiles? Is he okay?

  The door busted open, practically slamming into the wall behind it. My heart dropped as I watched doctors rush in, although calming when they saw me perfectly fine.

  "You're awake, Miss. Y/N."

I barely nodded, trying to avoid the bandage on my neck. The doctor did the same.

   "Well, I'm happy to see you are all well after the circumstances. You will be fine, but as it heals, make sure that you are using minimal verbal vibrations. Talking, yelling, anything like that. Try writing, or using your hands. Alright?"

  I frowned. Not use my voice? How am I supposed to ask where Stiles is?

I huffed softly and curiously pointed to the plastic chair, looking to the doctor. He raised his eyebrow as he followed my hand, before nodding in understanding. Thank god.

  "The boy that you came here with is right outside. Nervous as all hell, I'll tell you that. Would you like him to come in?"

  Hurriedly, I nodded in confirmation. I needed to see Stiles.

The doctor gave a soft smile and told me he would be right back with Stiles. He shut the door behind him much lighter than when he had arrived.

  It was barely even ten seconds later than when I heard the knob turn again, opening. Plaid was the first thing I saw, then arms, then shoulders, than a head that slowly looked to me, and the doctor was right.

   He looked nervous as hell.

"Hey." He spoke, his voice small.

I smiled in response, not wanting to go against doctor orders, but it was already becoming hard as I wanted to cry to Stiles how happy I was to see him and how much I loved him.

   "How are you doing?" Stiles awkwardly asked, sitting the the plastic chair. I shrugged one shoulder.

   I thought I saw a smile. "Vocal rest?"

I nodded, trying hard with the bandage.

   Stiles bit his lip and looked to his lap, signs I knew he wanted to say something bad. And he was going to since I couldn't stop him.

 "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm sorry I couldn't have been there sooner. I'm sorry, because if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be here. Not talking, with this elephant of a bandage on your neck. You- you almost bled out, Y/N. Because of me! Me, Y/N. I couldn't even live with myself if you had died Y/N. After everything with this thing that was possessing me, losing you would have to have been the hardest to deal with. Because I need you. Pathetically, I would be less than anything close to mentally stable if you had actually-"

   I reached out and placed my hand on his forearm. Stiles glanced up at me with waiting eyes.

  I looked around, but no paper seemed available, so with a head full of hope, I began to move my finger. Spelling.

  Finishing the first, I looked up to Stiles, waiting for him to get it and speak out loud. He stared at his arm, the up to me.

   "No?"

I nodded and looked back down to his arm.

 Moving once more, I finished the first word. He looked confused but again, spoke. "I?"

  I did the next one slower, finishing it with a concentrated bite on my lip. Stiles slowly let a small smile on his lips, glancing to me. "Love."

  I did the last word, letting the smile take over my face. I looked and found the same grin that was on my face, on his. He used the opposite hand to grab mine, looking up to me with loving eyes.

   "You."

Stiles nodded, a low chuckle bubbling. "I love you, too."

  I patted my lips with my other fingers, watching as the cheeky smile rose. Stiles licked his lips and moved to the edge of his seat, leaning in towards me.

 I shut my eyes as soon as his lips met mine sweetly, kissing against my own gently. I held in the moan of satisfaction, in fear of the "verbal vibrations", but Stiles let one out.

   "God, yeah." He mumbled against my lips, releasing my hand to place both of his on either side of my head. "I love you."

   a/n::

   sup. im in a mood for social media dylan obrien books. any recs? i need me some rn and its rlly hard to actually search for that on here.

   i love all of you so much!