/ based on the song "1-800-273-8255" by logic ft. alessia cara \

* warning: this mentions suicide and depression

* 2nd warning/important note: if you're struggling with depression or suicide, please copy this number into your contacts and dial it. it will save you. it's not mine, but it is a line that will help you. I love you, so that's why I'm doing this 💖

a/n: i wrote this one over the span of 3 hours, so im sorry if it's not that good but i know people are struggling everyday and i just wanted to write this because this song is important and the number is very important. people are not told that they are important everyday and it's important that we always give others small gestures of love or care. even when maybe you're having a bad day, a smile towards someone can change a life. if you ever need anyone to talk to, to rant to, don't hesitate to message me. i know how you're feeling. i know what you're thinking. just.. i hope this helps.

It wasn't her day. It wasn't her week. It wasn't her month or her year. It just wasn't her time.

She couldn't take it anymore. It was all coming down on her, pushing her and pulling at her. Her emotions were no longer there, as if someone had pulled a switch and turned them off. They disappeared as she stared at her lifeless reflection in the mirror.

'Would they miss me?' 'Will people remember me?' 'Am I loved?'

So many questions flooded into her mind as tears streamed down her face.

She couldn't take it anymore.

[ I been on the low, I been taking my time, I feel like I'm out of my mind, It feel like my life ain't mine ]

She had been distant, and her friends had noticed. Didn't come out of her apartment, didn't answer her phone and was constantly stuck inside. Her thoughts were consuming her as she looked around and realized she was truly and utterly alone.

Her boyfriend, Tom Holland, had been visiting her hometown when he called her.

She didn't answer. Her phone sent him straight to voicemail as he frowned and dialed again. Nothing.

Harrison saw Tom looking frantic as he dialed your number as well before being met with the same voicemail.

Hi, this is Y/n -

And Tom!

Sorry I can't answer the phone -

Probably because I stole it.

Shut up, Tom! Anyways, just leave a message and I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible.

Probably not that soon but okay.

Shut up, Tom!

Tom felt disappointed as he listened to the voicemail before ending the call.

Why weren't you answering?

[ i don't wanna be alive, i don't wanna be alive, i just wanna die today, i just wanna die, and let me tell you why ]

No one could understand her. Everyone was.. different.

She felt like an outcast, having these thoughts almost all the time. Questions running through her head when she didn't want them to.

Walking around town and everyone's eyes were on her. She didn't feel like she fit in. Was it because of her thoughts?

Was it because of the voices?

They were clawing at her, begging to be heard as she tried to push them back. But they managed to find their way to the frontal cortex in her brain as she started hearing them almost all the time.

Every hour, every minute, every second she was consumed with these thoughts. She wanted them to go away but they clawed at her, begging to be heard.

Then there was the other part of her that wanted her to feel happy, bringing happy thoughts and memories, trying to block the negativity.

Like the devil and angel.

She had two little creatures on each of her shoulders.

Talking at her. Throwing words and soothing them.

People tended to say that they looked like yourself, but for her, they looked like her boyfriend.

A mini Tom on her left shoulder, angel wings and a little halo over his head.

Another mini Tom on her right, little devil horns and a red cape.

It seemed so cliche but that was her life. She wasn't understood. Nobody understood and nobody made an effort to. So, she gave up.

[ when you're there, chest to chest with the lover, holding on, though the road's long, and seeing light in the darkest things, and when you stare at your reflection, finally knowing who it is, I know that you'll thank God you did ]

Tom reached out to her and managed to find his way through her darkness. He searched for her, went to her apartment and was able to get inside.

Walking through the dark halls, he found her room, where he pushed it open to find her curled up in her bed. She was fading, as her thoughts kept clawing at her.

Tom saw his broken girlfriend, as he kneeled on the floor, his face in front of her's. Looking at her eyes, he couldn't see Y/n anymore. It's like she was gone.

She had been taken over by her thoughts, the ones that never left her alone and made her mind a buzzing mess.

But no one made an effort to help her.

So Tom wanted to change that.

He reached out, his hand touching her cheek as a tear slipped down her cheek. She blinked, finally coming back as she saw him.

Her eyes looked at his face and her hand reached out, cupping his face, thinking she might have been dreaming.

"Is it really you?"

"Yes, darling, I'm home."

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she pulled him close to her body. Their chests pressed together as she felt a little twinge of hope.

"You're home."

"I am, love, I am."

[ i know where you been, where you are, where you're goin', I know you're the reason I believe in life, what's the day without a little night? I'm just tryna shed a little light, it can be hard, it can be so hard, but you gotta live right now, you got everything to give right now ]

Tom listened to her, as his arms were wrapped around her waist, as she poured her heart out.

She wasn't used to having people listen to her for hours on end and when Tom did just that, she was surprised but relieved.

She didn't think she could hold onto these thoughts anymore. She didn't feel loved, and since she was away from her parents, she felt alone.

The only things keeping her company were Tessa and the occasional thoughts running into her head.

She was going insane.

It felt like hours since she had stopped talking before Tom spoke.

"I know you're probably expecting some really cheesy things from me and wanting to say that everything gets better, but I'm going to be honest with you, love. These thought's are killing you. You don't look like yourself and a week ago, when I walked into this house, I saw someone who wasn't my girlfriend. It was someone else trapped inside your body. These thoughts are not okay to leave inside, especially when you're by yourself. You need to let them out, whether that be screaming or crying, everything needs to be let out. If, for whatever reason, you call me or Harrison or the twins, and we don't answer, I want you to dial this number. This number might help you, and whoever will answer might be able to talk to you and listen to you rant. Just, don't do anything rash. I love you so much and I would hate to come home to an empty house. Don't leave me, just, please, promise me, you'll dial this number when you're in crisis."

She nodded, linking pinkies with Tom as a small signal of 'i promise'.

Everything seemed to change after this.

[ i finally wanna be alive, i don't wanna die today, i don't wanna die ]

Her thoughts became calm and peaceful, as she ignored them and shut them out completely, only being overwhelmed with calming and soothing thoughts as she was back to her old self.

She had daily walks with Tessa, admiring the horizon and her environment.

She did have another time when she broke down.

She had been feeling like herself until a close friend had said something about her "episodes" when she lost it.

She went home and immediately reached out to her cabinet, where she grabbed her pills and opened the bottle.

But before she decided to do that, she remembered Tom's words.

Her phone was in her hand as she dialed the number.

He wasn't kidding.

It saved her.

The person on the other end asked her what she wanted to do. She gave her honest answer.

'I want to die.'

The voice kept talking, as they asked Y/n about her most fond memory and if she had someone special in her life. She answered every question, before the voice gave their advice, talking to them about their earliest memory and the one they were most fond of. They said they were married and had a puppy. They were happy and she listened.

Before she realized, the bottle was long gone and she kept listening to them for hours, until Tom came home.

He saw her smiling, as she had her phone pressed to her ear, Tessa curled up in her lap. He knew he had saved her.

She was okay.

And with others around her, maybe things wouldn't be so bad.