I Can't | Dean Winchester
Summary: You get kidnapped by a dragon... and then Duke happens.
QOTP: Favorite monster?
Word Count: 2606
"I'm thinking standard werewolf," Sam says from his spot across the table in your motel room. "And there's no way it's not Gary."
Dean, sitting to your left, is eating a bacon cheeseburger from some fast food place Sam got your dinner from. He answers with his mouth full, and you think he says something like, "Great. Let's go gank this sucker," but you're not sure. Sam grimaces as you laugh.
Dean swallows and stands, already heading out to the car. You follow, Sam leaving behind you.
You've been hunting with the Winchesters for about five years, and you hunted on your own for even longer.
Point is, you've been hunting for a while.
So, the werewolf hunt is easy - you're driving back to the bunker the very next day.
On the drive home, you keep thinking about the hunt. You barely did anything, just let Sam and Dean handle it. At least until the werewolf tackled you. Dean killed it immediately.
You go on a ghost hunt a few days later; you and Sam fight off the ghost with iron bars while Dean burns the bones. No biggie, right?
But you freeze. The second you see that ghost, you're unable to move. Sam takes care of it, but he asks you if you're okay afterwards. And you tell him you're fine.
You lie right through your teeth.
It's the more complicated hunts - the more complicated monsters - that get you the most. You're at the end of your rope.
And then, you run into a dragon.
You, specifically.
////
"It's been an hour, Sam," Dean suddenly says. Both men are on their laptops, doing research.
"What?" Sam asks.
"Y/N has been gone for an hour," Dean explains.
Sam cocks an eyebrow. "That's not that long, considering she went out to get food." Dean bites his lip, getting more worried by the second. Sam laughs. "Are you ever gonna admit that you like her?"
Dean starts, then looks at Sam incredulously. "What? I don't like her. You're crazy."
Sam snorts. "Uh huh."
"I don't!"
"Sure."
Dean huffs. "I don't, Sam."
Sam shakes his head. "Whatever you say."
////
Fifteen minutes later, Dean's started to get real worried. "Should we go look for her?"
"How?" Sam asks. "She took the car - which is another reason why it's obvious that you like her."
Dean ignores the last part. "We should go look for Baby."
"You're even calling her-"
"I'm serious, Sam."
"Okay," Sam says, closing his laptop. "Okay. Let's go."
////
"Sam, there's Baby," Dean says after a half hour of searching on foot.
They see there's food in the car - it's cold now - and the keys are in the ignition. They start asking around about you. Nothing. Dean's freaking out.
"Look, all the other victims disappeared, so if we can figure out what it is-"
"What if she's dead?"
There's a pause. Sam can't bear to think about it. "We... We'll just have to hope that's not the case."
////
"I'm gonna stab this scaly-"
"I know, Dean," Sam interrupts. "That's all you've said since we figured out what it is."
They've figured out what the monster is and where it's hiding. They left immediately, and they're there now. Dean's carrying the broken sword they used the last time they killed a dragon.
They make it to the cages and Dean runs over, seeing about six frightened girls trapped inside. "Y/N?"
You look up and see him, running over to the bars of the cage. "Dean! Sam! I-I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to get them out-"
"It's okay," Dean says. "We're gonna get you out of here, okay?"
////
"You wanna ride shotgun?" Sam asks; you always complain about getting stuck in the back. This time, you only shake your head and climb in the backseat.
Sam got the cage open and helped you and the other girls out while Dean stayed behind to fight the dragon. Sam had to help a little - as a distraction - but Dean was the one who killed it.
Then, they helped return the girls to their families, and finally drove you back to the motel. After the girls were safe, you asked to take a shower and then just shut down, didn't say a word. It took a couple minutes to figure out that you needed to borrow clothes; the ones you packed were dirty and you didn't want to put the others back on.
So, on the drive home, you wear a pair of Sam's sweatpants and one of Dean's flannels. Dean turns on one of your favorite Queen songs, but you don't even react. Just lay your head against the seat and stare out the window.
They don't talk about why you got taken in the first place.
////
"I'm worried about her," Dean says. You made it back to the bunker, and you immediately disappeared into your room. Sam and Dean are eating dinner alone in the library.
"Well, getting kidnapped is traumatic," Sam says. "Give her time; it just happened."
"I know," Dean says, "but Crowley kidnapped her once, remember? And she didn't even need to bounce back; she smarted him off the entire time."
Sam shrugs. "I don't know, Dean. But she wants space right now, so I'd give it to her."
Dean stands. "Well, she still needs to eat, so I'm gonna take her some food." Sam doesn't protest. Food in hand, Dean finds your room and knocks on your door. "Y/N? I brought you some food. Figured you might be hungry." No response. "Y/N?"
It takes a second. "I-I'm not hungry."
He can hear it in your voice. "Are you crying?" You hesitate, so Dean opens the door and finds you sitting on your bed, still wearing his and Sam's clothes, sobbing. He runs over, precariously setting the food on your dresser. "What happened? What's wrong?"
"I'm f-fine, Dean."
"Obviously not."
"Just go away."
"You're crying-"
"Oh, I hadn't noticed!" You start crying harder and Dean's heart breaks.
He sits down next to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, so you lay your head on his chest. He absentmindedly traces circles on your arm with his thumb. "What's wrong, Y/N?"
You take a shaky breath, starting to calm down. "The dr-dragon."
He kisses the top of your head. "He's gone now. I killed him."
"I know," you reply, sniffling. "I'm not afraid of it, I just... I don't know, Dean. I..."
"What?" he asks softly.
"I... You're gonna get mad."
"Why would I be mad?" He's confused and even more worried now.
You shake your head. "Dean, I can't anymore."
"Can't what anymore?"
You start crying harder. "Hunt. Dean, I can't do it anymore and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"Hey, hey, hey," Dean says immediately, lifting you a little and setting you on his lap. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm not mad. Why would I be mad at you over that?"
"It's too much, I-I can't stand all the-the dead bodies and the monsters..." You dissolve into tears and bury your face in his chest.
Dean continues to rub your arm. "It's okay. You don't have to hunt anymore. It's okay. You can stay here. We'll figure something out."
You nod. "O-Okay."
There's a pause while you start to calm down again. Dean waits to speak until your tears have been reduced to sniffles. "Do you want me to tell Sam for you?"
"No," you answer. "But will you go with me?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course. But you know he won't be mad, right?"
"Yeah..."
////
Sam was, of course, understanding. "You could stay here and do research."
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," you reply quietly.
Dean sighs. "You know I support you 100%, but I don't like the idea of leaving you here alone."
He's surprised to see your face break into a small, mischievous grin. "Then maybe we should get a dog."
Dean sighs. You've asked to get a dog before - thousands of times. Dean's always said no, especially before you found the bunker. Namely because he "didn't want dog hair all over his car".
You take his prolonged silence as a no. "We can get a big guard dog to protect me!"
Dean, seeing you starting to act like your old self again, gives in. "Fine."
You grin and Sam laughs.
////
"We want the biggest, most vicious guard dog you got," Dean said to the girl at the front desk of the animal shelter.
Well, she took you back to the dogs, and she was about to show you the dog you asked for. Then, this huge, tan great dane jumped up and started barking at you, which is why you're now in love with Duke, who isn't intimidating in the least, but he's trying his best.
"Y/N, that dog isn't going to protect you at all," Sam says. You ignore him.
"Hi, Duke," you say, petting him. "I love you." He barks and starts licking your face, and you laugh. Dean sighs, and you look up at him. "Can we please?"
"I thought we were getting a guard dog."
"Duke's big! And, yeah, he may be a little... not scary- but look at him! We have to get Duke, Dean!" Duke barks in agreement as you give Dean puppy dog eyes.
He breaks. "Alright, we'll get Duke."
"Yay!"
[here's a pic of Duke just 'cause]
////
"And when are you planning to walk this behemoth?" Dean asks from the driver's seat in the impala.
Sam laughs as Duke pokes his head in between his and Dean's; he's in the backseat with you. You've been petting him since you got in the car. "I won't have much else to do while you and Sam are gone. I'll walk him down the road and back - and I'll carry a gun. I'm not stupid."
Duke barks and both Sam and Dean wince. Dean shakes his head. "I can't believe he's in my car. He's in Baby. He better not shed."
"Oh, relax," you say. "You'll just have a little bit of Duke with you wherever you go."
"Just be thankful that 'little bit' is hair and not poop," Sam says.
Dean shudders, but you're oblivious, still petting Duke. You look at Dean in the rearview mirror. "We need food and toys and a water bowl and a food bowl-"
"I know, Y/N. I'm headed to the pet store now."
"We gotta find a vet, too," Sam adds.
Dean sighs deeply. "Why did I let you do this?"
"Because you love me," you reply jokingly. Dean blushes crimson and Sam has to hold back a laugh as you continue to pet Duke. "Just like I love you, Duke." Duke barks and you hug him. "You're the goodest boy in the whole wide world."
Dean doesn't say anything for the rest of the drive.
////
"What am I supposed to do if he has to take a dump while we're on the road?" Dean asks, having already been driving for at least twenty minutes.
"You should've thought about that before you agreed to take him on the hunt," Sam says, amused. It's been a few months since you got Duke, and you've decided to try going on hunts again. You can't leave him alone, and Cas is kinda afraid of him, so you have to take him with you.
"Stop worrying," you chide. "If he's gotta take a dump he'll bark and stuff. We can just pull to the side of the road and let him do his business."
Dean sighs. "This was a bad idea."
"No, it wasn't. Duke's gonna be a big help with the hunt."
Well, the hunt's a standard werewolf, and you all agreed, after you convinced Sam and Dean, to leave Duke at the motel. You didn't want him to get hurt.
"You gonna be okay?" Dean asks, about to hand you a gun loaded with silver bullets.
You take it. "As okay as I can be."
There were four werewolves, actually. One came out to meet you, and you fired, killing him. The other three were a surprise; you, Sam, and Dean each had to fight one off.
You took care of your werewolf pretty quickly, especially considering that you've been on the bench for a while. Sam kills his, and it's then you notice Dean's gun has been knocked away from him and the werewolves is on top of him.
Immediately, you spring into action. You kick the werewolf off him and shoot it before it can even make a sound.
Dean looks up at you. "Wow."
You laugh, helping him up. "You're welcome."
////
When you get back to the motel room, Duke jumps up and runs to you. You laugh and Dean finds himself laughing with you. He crouches down to pet Duke, too.
Sam pets his back affectionately and heads to the bathroom, announcing his plans for a shower. As you're petting Duke, Dean looks over at you. "So... you okay?"
You scratch behind Duke's ears. "I'm good."
"You sure?" Dean asks. "I mean, if you're not, and you need more time, that's-"
"I'm alright," you insist, now looking at Dean. You're about to chide him for being so ridiculous when you realize how close you are. Your faces are inches apart.
Duke gently nudges your now-stilled hand, imploring you to keep petting him. You ignore it, though, unable to look away from Dean, who can't look away from you, either.
"Can I tell you something?" Dean asks quietly. You nod, almost imperceptibly. He bites his lip, seemingly nervous. "I've, uh... I've kinda had... feelings for you for a while now, so..."
"Me, too." You quickly correct yourself. "I-I mean I've had feelings for you, not me..."
He chuckles, and your heart melts at the smile on his face. He leans in a little closer. "Is this okay?"
"It's more than okay."
He chuckles again and connects his lips with yours. Your arms wrap around his neck and his around your waist, both of you oblivious to the sound of the shower running and the dog lying down next to you. He looks up uninterestedly at you and Dean finally confessing your feelings for each other, not just in words, but in the kiss itself. He makes a sound not unlike a huff.
You pull away, out of breath. The shower shuts off, but neither of you register it. Duke notices you're done with whatever it is you were doing and stands again, nudging you to continue petting him.
Dean sighs. "Go annoy Sam."
"What?" the man in question asks, stepping out of the bathroom wearing comfy clothes. His hair is dripping. Duke looks at him.
"Oh, great," Dean mutters.
"What?" Sam asks again, confused. He looks at Dean, then Duke, then you. Seeing the look on your face, he smirks. "You guys just kissed, didn't you?"
"Yes," you both reply simultaneously. Dean's tone is more annoyed (Sam and Duke ruined the moment), but yours is incredibly happy.
Sam grins, walking over to his bed. "I knew it. I knew it would happen one day. You guys sure take your time."
Dean stands, sighing deeply. "I guess you two can't be bothered to leave us alone, so I'm going to bed." He heads over to the couch.
"Why don't you just sleep in the other bed with Y/N?" Sam asks, smirking.
Dean blushes, but you take it in stride. "Because that's Duke spot."
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