[summary]
↳ aka the author thinks she's funny because she wants to be friends with the feral boys so bad.

[warning/s]
↳ curses, fire because y/n is straight-up spittin' hot rhymes.

[notes]
↳ it was fun making up rhymes that i think the boys would write. it was more fun coming up with my own rhymes. it's not meant to come across as hate, i just really want to roast them LOL also the open-close parentheses are what the people respond to the lines.

***

Here's the gist: Quackity would be the one streaming Jackbox for all of these characters. He's always gonna be the one streaming. This is strictly platonic! You are all best friends with them and Quackity have you included in his list of players in the lobby. You guys have done Quiplash, filled with pandering and poo/piss/penis jokes before the streamer suggested that you guys do rap battle.

***

Sapnap

He was just done inputting his rhymes. "Oh shit, you're done, Y/n, you're done!"

"Ssstop screaming in my ears! Jeez!" You retaliated, but you laughed with him. 

"Oahhh, shit. I don't know." Quackity had a groan in his tone after submitting his prompts. 

"No, I don't think I pressed submit on time!" George whined. 

Y/n to Sapnap

YOUR RHYMES DON'T FLOW LIKE BANANA (ooh!)
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL WITH THAT LAME BANDANA (OH!)
IF YOU'D BE A TYPE OF WOOD, YOU WOULD BE BIRCH 
NOBODY WILL BUY YOUR BORING-ASS MERCH

"OHHH MY GOD!" Karl screamed. "No chance Sapnap wins this!"

"Holy shit, Y/n, you just fucking killed Sapnap! He's dead, your honor!" Quackity bellowed.

"That was fire! Oh my god!" Dream exclaimed.

"If Sapnap wins, it's literally because he had a second-player advantage," George spoke. 

"Shut up it's my turn-"

Sapnap to Y/n

SOME SAY I'M FLASHY SOME SAY I'M VOID
WATCH OUT Y/N YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET DESTROYED
I'M SWEET AS HONEY YOU'RE SOUR AS ORANGE
I'M THE BEST WHILE YOU'RE JUST AVERAGE.

"Sapnap really rhymed orange with average-" Karl burst out, making everyone in the call laugh.

"What the hell is wrong with you, it rhymed," Sapnap replied not a second later. 

Quackity's loud laughter reverberated through the call when you got a 93% of the votes.

"No, no, chat's biased. They like you more than me," Sapnap pouted.

"You rhymed orange with average!" Karl countered, making Quackity shriek in laughter. "How is chat biased? In fact, it would be biased if they voted you!"

***

Quackity

"Ohhh, I'm against Y/n," he said dejectedly. 

You internally scoffed at his miserable tone. "Don't worry, Quackity, I'm gonna go completely toxic on you."

"Oh- ho ho! Let's see!" His pitch got higher as he wiped his hands together maniacally. 

Quackity to Y/n

I'M A COSMIC FORCE SO CALL ME THE MAN (okay?)IS THIS THE STUPID DUMBFUCK THAT YOU ALL STAN? (woah what?)I'M THE CREAM OF THE CROP WHILE YOU'RE CLOVERSORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT THIS FRIENDSHIP IS OVER

"WOOO!" Quackity lets out.  

Quackity ended with an evil cackle. "I'm toxic! I'm feeling toxic!" He said with a high-pitched tone. "Y/n are you there? Are you there?"

"I'm leaving to cry. Bye, chat-"

"Nonono-" Quackity laughs, trying to get you back. "Wait, I'm joking. I'm joking. I didn't mean it, our friendship isn't over- it's far from over."

"I want an apology."

"Okay, Y/n, I love you but you're asking too much from me-"

Any other round and the two of you were against each other again. This time, you just had to pop off.

Y/n to Quackity

ARE YOU SCARED? SHOULD I CALL AN ENGINEER? (alright?)

JUST GO ON A DRIVE BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED YOU HERE (woah!)BET YOU NEVER HEARD ABOUT THE BIRDS AND STINGRAYDON'T LIE ABOUT THE HAIR REVEAL, YOU'RE BALD ANYWAY

"OHHH- HO HO!" Sapnap screamed.

"YEAHH!" Karl shouted. "Quackity is bald!!!"

"LET'S GOOOO!" You yelled.

"Oh, Y/n popped off so hard!" Dream says in disbelief.

"No way. No way," George said.

Quackity began to cry into his mic, hiccuping sobs. "Y/n..." He spoke with a shaky voice. 

"You know what, Quackity? I'm not sorry." You emphasized. "This was for the bad things you did to me-"

It was a 64% in favor of you, making Quackity slam his chair in anger.

"That's it- I'm actually going bald. I'm gonna shave my whole-ass head off!"

***

George

The two of you went first. 

Y/n to George

STEALING THIS BATTLE LIKE I'M ROBBING A MALL

THIS RAP BATTLE WILL BE YOUR GREAT DOWNFALL (oh!)THE WORD OF THE DAY BOYS AND GIRLS IS WILDLEARN HOW TO COOK AND DRIVE YOU USELESS MANCHILD

"OH MY GOD-" "OHHHHHH" "SHIT!" "HOLY FUCK" Noises erupted the call.

"HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE"

Their laughs mixed together in the call.

"Shut up! It's my turn," George said as he leaned himself closer to the mic.

George to Y/n

MY RHYMES ARE SO SWEET THEY'RE COVERED IN CANDY (mmm!)

I SMOOCH YOUR MOTHER WHILE WE SAT ON A TREE (*awkward laughter*)I LIVE SO LARGE I BREAK BEARI HATE YOU AND YOUR MOTHER'S UGLY HAIR

"That's fucked up," Quackity muttered seriously. 

"Oh my gosh, how dare you make fun of Y/n's mom... She told me herself that she doesn't want her hair to be made fun of..." Karl said.

"I am literally calling my mom," you jokingly threatened. "I'm gonna tell her everything you just said." George chuckled at this.

"Why do you always rap about mothers?" Dream pointed out.

Quackity laughed. "Man's be writing a whole ass love poems to the moms."

***

Dream

Dream was boasting about the rhymes he came up with, while you were just rolling your eyes, not saying anything, sometimes telling him to shut the fuck up.

Y/n to Dream

CHECK YOUR WATCH, YOU'RE ABOUT TO PLAY THE ACCORDION (ooh clever)

I'M GONNA PUNCH YOUR STUPID SMILE INTO OBLIVION (oh my god!)I'M TENACIOUS LIKE AN OBSIDIANCAN'T BELIEVE THE SMP IS OWNED BY A FLORIDIAN

"WOOOOO OH MY GOD!" Quackity was the most excited, expectedly, because he was the one who would want to see Dream get owned the most.

"Oh!" George sounded surprised.

"That is so true, Y/n, FLORIDA SUCKS!" Karl chanted.

"Holy shit, Dream got destroyed!" Sapnap cackled.

"Alright, I'm about to pop off." Dream prepared himself while you were still laughing.

Dream to Y/n

HEY KID GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN

I THINK I'VE GOTTEN DEAF FROM ALL OF YOUR BITCHIN' (what the fuck)I KNEW YOU WERE COMING BECAUSE I SMELLED SHIT (yo!)GONNA THROW YOUR CORPSE INTO THE BOTTOMLESS PIT

"Woahhh..." Karl's low voice trailed off.

"Dream, not gonna lie- Dream, not gonna lie, you went too far. That was toxic. That was toxic," Quackity said.

"Yeah... I mean. Yeah," Karl agreed, still in the same somber tone. "Can we get everyone to vote for Y/n?"

"Karl! I'm not about to lose to pity votes. Fuck that,"

"It's not gonna be pity votes because I had better rhymes than you," you chimed back.

***

Karl to Y/n

YOU SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ON HOW TO MEET (ooh!)

JUST MET YOUR MOM AND I SWEPT HER OFF HER FEET (oH!)IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS VOTED MOST GREAT  (okaY?)KISSING MY GIRLS AND WE'VE ONLY GONE ON ONE DATE

"WOOOOOOO!!" Karl was proud of himself while the others let out small laughs because Karl rhymed about family members again. 

"Oh, Karl," Quackity shook his head playfully at his friend. 

"Y/n is about to destroy you," Dream threatened.

"I hope..." You said.

Y/n to Karl

I REMEMBERED YOU, YOU USED TO BE A NERD (oh!)

YOU'RE A GIANT COWARD, PLEASE SPREAD THE WORDI AM HERE TO SAY NAILSIT'S BEEN A YEAR KARL WHERE'S TALES?

When the call had been quiet, you asked, "Did I go too far?"

"Oh, no, Karl left the call!" Quackity announced. 

And then the noise came back like a tidal wave.

"OHHH!" Sapnap bellowed. 

"Karl went dark," George chuckled.

"Everyone vote for Y/N!" Dream ordered. 

***

"We're not going to invite you next time," says Quackity. "Ohh, Y/n, you've been so toxic the whole time. You're too toxic!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings..."

It made everyone in the call laugh, with Quackity being the loudest. "The battle is done! No need for being sarcastic!" His pitch was high again.