I had requests with the following prompts, so I felt like an angsty drabble and just slapped them all together: "So you hate me now too?", "I'm never good enough", "Aren't you going to defend yourself?", "How long before you trust me?", "You swore that you'd never lie to me" all with Bucky 

"I don't know what to do anymore! It's obvious that I'm never good enough for you! No matter what I do, I'm never going to meet these goddamn expectations that no one can meet! You're impossible, (Y/N)! It's only a matter of time before he sees it too!"

"What does that mean? Before who sees it?" you snapped back at Bucky, fuming and heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Arguments with Bucky could be passionate and heated, and eager to be made up from; this one wasn't one of those types of arguments.

"Stark!"

"Oh my god, Bucky...do you seriously think that there's something going on between me and Tony? I know you can be an idiot, but this is pushing the limits."

"Apparently that's all I can be! I must be one hell of an idiot to not see this sooner!" he continued to yell. His voice echoed with such volume that you were sure that you had just seen a picture shake on the wall behind him. It was a guarantee that your neighbors next to and below you were getting in on the conversation as clear as day, and you could picture the nosy woman with whom you shared a wall with her ear pressed hard against it. With each word, accentuated by a rise in both decibel and anger, he pushed forward across your small kitchen until he had you cornered; you weren't afraid, because even in a rage, he would never hurt you, but you certainly were taken aback and stunned into silence. Unfortunately, it was misconstrued as an admission of guilt.

"Are you even going to defend yourself? Nothing at all? Well, that's...that's just terrific, (Y/N). Just shut it all down like you always do, then wonder why we have so much trouble communicating. How in the hell do you expect that to work?"

"How am I supposed to communicate with you? There's no getting through to you when you're like this, Buck."

"Then maybe you should stop pissing me off, running around with a guy that you know I can't stand!" he continued, with no regard what you had just said. "You've met up with Stark twice this week, telling me that you were going to see Nat. What am I supposed to think? Do you realize how that looks? How much of an asshole that makes me?"

Now you were getting just as mad, fury building in every fiber of every muscle, adrenaline spurning your own power as you raised your fists and slammed them into his chest, actually pushing him back a step. "I met up with Tony for you, you arrogant jerk! Steve wants you both to get along so that maybe we can all finally work together, and I was trying to be a mediator! You're the one who jumps right to me screwing the guy! What does that say about you?"

"That you're right," he answered in an exasperated sigh, "I am an idiot."

"You are if you believe what you're saying," you agreed, shaking your head to try to clear away the tears that were building. They weren't because you were sad, but because you were so angry at him. The two of you could tear each other apart like it was second nature, and you could put each other together with every piece fitting like you were meant to be as one. It was a dynamic, broken, insane, beautiful relationship that tested your limits far too often, and it started to sink in for you that this might just be one time too many. "So, you hate me now, too? After all this time, you still can't move past it?"

"You swore, (Y/N)," he pressed, his voice lowering and deepening to a rumble that shook through you like a cold fear, "you swore that you'd never lie to me." The accusatory point of his finger drove through your heart like a dull knife, not soon to be removed.

"Buck, I screwed up one time, and it was years ago. We've been through this so many times," you groaned, pushing back into the countertop again, your body getting heavy. "I've apologized and apologized, and I just can't do that anymore. It was one kiss, one time, and you said that you forgave us. Clearly you meant that you only forgave Steve."

"This has absolutely nothing to do with that, (Y/N). You know that I can't stand Stark-"

"Yeah, and you jump right to the worst possible scenario when all I'm trying to do is help," you nodded solemnly, realizing it was a losing battle. "So, how long will it be?" How long before you trust me?"

It was a question that Bucky hadn't even asked himself, years after that first indiscretion, believing that he would move past it and that it would just fade away as another bad memory like so many of his others. But as he stood here, in dead silence and facing you with nowhere for either of you to hide, he had to face this once and for all; he knew that there was only one answer, and there would only ever be one.

"Never."