"Oh, Wade, I think this is a really, really bad idea. Are you sure about this? I don't think I can pull it off."

"Don't be such a pussy about this," he grunted, pulling the zipper up on the back of your suit. "You're the one who's been dying to prank Captain Tight-Ass for so long. If you don't like my methods, then find some other sucker to take the fall with you."

Panic quickly began to set in at what the fallout from this would be. Steve had asked you to be his partner on an undercover mission, requiring a fairly drastic change in your appearances. He seemed wound really tightly lately, with the stress of going undercover getting to him; there was no type of mission that he detested more. If he wanted drastic changes, you thought that a prank might be in order to lighten his mood, but now you were second-guessing your idea.

"I can't do it," you panicked, finding it harder to breathe now that your reveal was only moments away. "He's gonna kick me off the team. He's gonna think that I don't take my job seriously."

Wade gave the hood of your costume a firm tug and pulled it up over your head, stepping in front of you to tuck your stray hairs into it. "Oh dear lord, this is fabulous," he chuckled, taking a step back to admire the entire picture. "I will give you a million dollars right now if you slap his tight, patriotic ass of his with one of those gloves." He shook his head at the imagery and lowered his voice to a whisper, "God bless America."

"I am not slapping Steve's ass, Wade!"

"Come on, you know you want to."

"That..." you deflected, "is neither here...nor there..."

"You do!"

You took one last look down at your costume, shifting the large grapes around and twisting yourself to make it at least tolerable to move in. "Just walk me to my death, alright?" Closing your eyes, trying to steel your resolve to finally prank Steve, you took a breath and opened them again, marching with the best confidence that you could muster. When you arrived at the jet, Steve was in the pilot seat, laying in the course to your destination and looking away.

"Hey, (Y/N), is that you?"

"Yes, Cap, ready when you are," you replied in a meek voice that threatened to break with each word. "Will this...is..." you stopped, taking another deep breath, "is this undercover enough for you?"

When Steve spun the chair to look, you felt the inside of the jet begin to spin with him and realized you were forgetting to breathe. His face lit up like a kid at Christmas, and his laugh immediately filled the cabin. "Holy shit!"

"Watch your fuckin' language!" Wade yelled from just outside.

"Wade, shut up!" you hissed through clenched teeth, still unsure of what Steve would say next once the initial shock wore off.

"That..." he exhaled, trying to catch his breath between laughs, "that is the greatest thing I've ever seen!" He jumped up from his seat and hurried to you, eagerly taking your arms and spinning you around to get a complete look. "I need a picture of this." He reached into his pocket and quickly aimed his phone.

"No! No, you don't, Steve," you said, backing away with your hands up.

"That's an order, (Y/N)."

"Steeeve..."

"I won't show anyone, okay?" He lowered his phone just slightly, looking at you in earnest. You had never known Steve to lie to you, so you took the chance and allowed for only one shot.

"There, happy?"

"Very!"

"Come on, now smack his ass, (Y/N)! Make your wildest dream come true!"

Your mouth dropped open in shock and your eyes grew wide at Wade's words, nearly matching Steve's amused reaction. "Excuse me for one second, Cap. I need to commit a quick murder before we go, then I'm all yours."

"Yeah, girl! Get yours!" Wade hollered back.

"Do we have time for a dismemberment?"

"Take your time, doll. Just let me get my camera ready."