https://youtu.be/Pib8eYDSFEI

You've applied the pressure
To have me crystallized
And you've got the faith
That I could bring paradise

I'll forgive and forget
Before I'm paralyzed
Do I have to keep up the pace
To keep you satisfied

The phone in your hand was pressed tightly to your cheek, almost as if the warmth from the light in its screen could give you comfort despite all that you had lost. No, perhaps lost wasn't the correct choice of phrase; it was what you were giving up willingly. You didn't deserve that comfort, you believed, which is why you had made this call in the first place. You didn't deserve to hear the voice on the other end of the line, the voice that could soothe away your worst nightmares and the voice that had carried the words of promises to love you no matter what challenges came your way. It was a voice that still carried that promise and that hurt even more.

It was Tony's voice, and it tore away at your heart like a dull, serrated knife wielded by a raging blind man.

"Are you coming home today?"

"You asked me that yesterday too, Tony."

"Well, it's a new day, new question. Or, old question, I suppose...but new line of questioning. Yeah, the point is still the same, I get that, but how about if I phrase it differently? Maybe something like, will you please come home because I can't stand it here without you and I've eaten the last of the Rocky Road and FRIDAY refuses to buy me more? Nat has threatened everyone else with bodily harm if they get me any, and Vision has made it very, agonizingly clear that I've gained exactly 5.3 pounds since you left. Sweetheart, please come home before Steve comes up with some insane workout plan for me."

He was rambling again, which felt like a positive change from the flat, nearly non-verbal Tony that you had spoken to only two days prior. You had been separated from your husband for nearly a week now, so a positive sound in his voice was completely unexpected. "You sound different," you admitted to him quietly, "it's better."

"Than what?"

"Than Depressed Tony."

"Shit, I'm still depressed. It's compensatory, so don't get attached to a notion built on illusion. I took a few acting classes back in college and I guess it stuck."

Silence was your only reply; it wasn't that you didn't know what to say, because there was plenty that could find your voice. It was that everything had been said so many times before that it would just be a rehashing of pain already felt and issues left unresolved once anger would inevitably take over your tone. Fighting with Tony was both exhausting and entertaining, in the cruelest of ways; he was a master of levity in the worst situations, but he was also a genius when it came to cutting deep. The bastard remembered everything, never hesitating to pull a dagger from his vault at the most unexpected times, and you'd been stabbed plenty.

"I'll call you tomorrow, Tony." You were just about to disconnect before he could interrupt, but of course, he knew that would be your play.

"Why?"

"I'm...I'm sorry?"

"Why call me tomorrow if your answer hasn't changed, (Y/N)? If you're not coming home, then why bother? If you're done with me...with us, then you're done, right? So, tell you what, just text me when you make up your mind."

Before you could utter a single syllable in reply, he used your own tactics against you, and the line went dead.

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest

You don't move slow
Taking steps in my direction
The sound resounds, echo
Does it lessen your affection

If you had your way, you would be home in bed right now, and not sitting across from your overly protective friend who just didn't know when to quit, a drink in hand that you really didn't want. It didn't take long for word to get out of your split from Tony, even beyond those who lived in the compound with you both. It wasn't a shock to hear that everyone knew, but you started to wonder if Tony had anyone left who hadn't heard him trying to get them on his side. Even after the whole Team Cap vs. Team Iron Man debacle, he was still drawn to gathering his own line of defense to have his back.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel like you had to travel all this way just for me, T'Challa. I'm okay, really."

"Yes, your voice sounded like that of someone who is perfectly well," he retorted in true sarcastic fashion. "You are not as skilled in deception as you may be inclined to believe, my friend."

"Still, you didn't have to. Not to say that I'm not appreciative, of course."

"Of course," he smiled, so brightly that it actually lifted your spirits some just to see it. "Now, let us stop with the false pretenses, and tell me what is it that I can do to help you, (Y/N)? I may not know Tony Stark well, but I know enough of his character to know that he will not be giving you up easily."

"Hmm," you chuckled under your breath, "I'm happy to hear that one of us believes that. If only he could give up the suit as readily as he let me go this morning when I called. This isn't our first argument about it, which I'm sure you realize. I didn't think that I was asking for too much to get a little time away from the team. It's hard to feel like you're married to so many people when privacy is a luxury in that damn building. But really...I'm...I'll be fine."

The two of you sat quietly for a moment as his mind processed his thoughts. The small bar that you had found yourselves in was dark and nearly empty, the barkeep preparing to close for the night. Every few minutes or so, the man behind the bar would look to you, assuming that you needed to be looked after as a lady alone with a man in a bar at such a late hour, only to leave you laughing to yourself at the audacity of his ego.

You finished your drink with one final swallow and a definitive tip back of your head, setting the glass down heavily to let your partner know that you intended on being done. Instead of taking your cue, he stood and walked towards the bar, much to the surprise of the owner. T'Challa stood still as he spoke, extending only a hand for the man to place a bottle within it before turning back to return to you.

"Planning on staying?" you asked coyly. "I was about to say that we should be going so he can close."

"He will close. I've arranged for us to stay behind until I finally get a clear answer that meets my satisfaction."

"T'Challa-"

"If I've come all this way to offer support, then I expect honesty in kind. You are not fine."

"I didn't ask you to come here," you answered flatly, standing to leave. "But thank you anyway. I do appreciate that you want to help, but I can take care of myself. Have a safe trip back to Wakanda."

He stood again and reached out to grab your hand, not balking when you gave him a look that would have stopped anyone else from trying. "Please, my dear, that glare has never worked on me, you know that. And yes, it is quite true that you are not who asked me to be here."

"What? Did you sense a disturbance in the Force or...something..." you faded away, your eyes shifting to a motion in the darkest corner of the bar. Your body tensed defensively and your fists closed to be ready to strike in instinct, until the movement grew and light finally shone down on its source, revealing the last person you would expect to ever hide from anything or anyone. "Tony? Did he ask you to come here? He can't fight his own battles anymore? Or did he think that pulling my friends to his side might change my mind?"

"I am his friend as well, (Y/N)."

"Yeah, well you were mine first," you hissed angrily, yanking your hand away from his hold. "Just go home and stay the hell out of my business. I have more than enough people sticking their noses into it and offering advice that I don't want."

You were surely an idiot to think that you would be able to simply walk out of the bar and onto the sidewalk without any further interruption, even with a hand up to stop Tony from advancing. He merely waited until you passed through the door to follow you, with T'Challa wisely staying inside until he was needed.

"(Y/N), stop running away from me!" Tony growled, grabbing your arm and turning you to face him. His face was red with anger, but his expression didn't match; he was so broken that you almost didn't recognize him as he looked back. "We have to talk about this! Right now!"

"There's nothing to talk about. We should have known that this was doomed from the start, Tony. We've always been a mess, and this is no different. We moved too fast," you pleaded, your eyes begging him to just let it lie. "I just didn't know how to tell you that...I didn't want..." you stopped, the lump in your throat choking your air and stealing your voice. You had to hurry the words out before they were asphyxiated away for good. 

 "Tony...it's over."

You say I'm foolish
For pushing this aside
But burn down our home
I won't leave alive

Glaciers have melted to the sea

I wish the tide would take me over
I've been down on my knees
And you just keep on getting closer