Follow-up to Substitute Teacher (in book #1)

Sitting on the far side of the hangar bay, you watched as the team returned from Sokovia, each of them walking slowly and without words, clearly traumatized by the events that had taken place there. Wanda exited first, and she looked inconsolable as Clint held her up, being followed by Steve, carrying the lifeless body of her brother. You waited for several minutes, watching everyone disembark except for Tony. When everyone was gone and he had yet to emerge, you went in to find him.

"Hey," you whispered, kneeling next to him as he sat quietly, still in the pilot seat, "are you okay?"

"This was all my fault."

"Tony, come on, that's not true."

"That's a nice sentiment, (Y/N), but it's is. I created Ultron, who turned Sokovia into a floating nightmare, and who took Wanda's only brother from her. I'm as much of a monster as he was."

"You're not..." you paused, looking around at the jet and realizing that you had missed one team member when you watched the others leave. "Where's doctor B?"

"And right there is the million dollar question," he huffed, finally standing and gathering his gear. "Seriously, I'll give you a million if you can answer it."

"I should've gone with you," you sighed, standing to follow him out, "I could've helped."

"No way, it was too dangerous. I wasn't about to risk you there, and I know Steve would say the same."

"Hold on just a minute," you snapped, reaching out and grabbing his arm, "why did you make me into an Avenger if you weren't going to actually let me be one? Is it the age thing? Because you knew how old I was when training started, so you can't really legitimately use that excuse. So what is it? Why is it that I'm never good enough to go out with the team?"

"It's not that." He tugged his arm away and continued to disembark, trying to leave the conversation. Tony had begun your training over a year ago, promising that you would become an active member once Steve cleared you for duty; he had cleared you two months ago and you had yet to be allowed on a mission. Tony had found some way to always convince the Captain that each mission just wasn't a good fit for you.

"Then what is it?" you called out to him as you followed. "Tony Stark, don't you walk away from me in the middle of this! I want to know once and for all what your problem is!"

He threw his bag angrily on the floor with a resounding bang against the metal floor, and spun on his heel towards you. He charged forward and took both of your arms in his hands with a strong grip that hurt as his fingers dug into you.

"I refuse to watch anyone carry your body from the back of that jet like they did with that kid today! I love you too damn much to see that happen. It would kill me, okay? Is that good enough for you?" When you didn't reply and all you could do was stare at him in shock, he released you and grabbed his bag to take his leave. "You can take this up with Steve if you want to, but he knows my stand on this."

~~~

Tony had spent the rest of the day locked up in his room, refusing visitors and asking FRIDAY to lock down his communications to ensure privacy until he was ready to be seen and heard again. You felt bad about snapping at him, when all he was doing was trying to show you that he cared in his own messed up way, but since he wouldn't talk to you, you decided your next task was to talk to Wanda. You only really knew of her and had spoken only once and only for a moment, but you felt the need to pay your respects.

"Miss Maximoff?" you asked quietly, knocking softly on her door. "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

After waiting a few minutes, and beginning to think that she might not be in there, the door slowly opened and she held her hand out to allow you to enter. "Of course, (Y/N), please come in."

The guest room that she had been given was sparsely furnished and barely decorated, but she hadn't really ventured much past the bed. The blankets were a mess and looked as if she had been in the throws of a nightmare; as if living within one wasn't enough.

"How are you?"

"I will be alright, thank you," she replied quietly, closing the door gently. "What can I do for you?"

"Nothing...nothing at all. I only wanted to see how you were, and to apologize."

She cocked her head to the side with a confusion in her eyes, not taking long to come to the realization of what you were saying to her. "(Y/N), no. Don't do that. I know that your father harbors a great deal-"

"He's not my father," you interrupted, but reconsidered for a moment. "Well, not biologically, but for all other intents, I suppose he kind of is. It's...it's complicated."

"I know that Mr. Stark harbors a great deal of guilt and feels responsible for what happened to...Pietro..." she faltered, clearing her throat quietly to continue, "but I do not harbor blame. Please tell him that for me. We played our own role in this and I accept that."

"But if he hadn't have created Ultron, this never would have happened, and you would still have your brother. I can't help but agree with him, the more I think about it."

"Please, don't," she pressed, "if you are worried that I hate him for this, and if you're trying to make me hate you too because of who you are, I refuse to. Tell him what I said, (Y/N). Tell him I don't hate him. He has suffered enough. I think we all have."

You nodded quietly, feeling already that you were imposing on her time that she wanted to herself. "I'll tell him. But please, let me know if there's anything that I can do." Putting a hand on her arm to connect with her for just a moment, you smiled gently and turned to leave, but she took your hand to stop you.

"He feels that he is your father, (Y/N). That's the only way he sees you now. When I gave him his vision, I saw it in his mind. He's terrified to lose you because he never expected to love you this way, and that he would never find it again. I just thought you should know this."

~~~

When Tony had finally emerged from his room and returned to the lab to begin to clean up Bruce's supplies, you hurried to meet him there before you could do anything else. You wanted him to know that he was a priority to you, as you were to him.

"Hey, old man," you quietly smiled, trying to start with a lighter mood than when you had last spoken. "How you holding up?"

"About as terrible as can be expected. What's up, kiddo?"

"I'm sorry about how we left things," you replied, taking a seat next to him at his workstation. "I was unfair to you, and it wasn't the right time to bring that up. I'm really sorry."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, pausing from putting the doctor's belongings into a large box for storage, "I overreacted. I was an asshole and I'm the one who needs to apologize. You were completely right, (Y/N). I am holding you back on purpose, and I'm being totally unfair to you."

"I understand though, Tony. I'll try to wait until you think we're both ready." You quietly watched him go back to packing, feeling his pain as you saw him put item after item away, seeing the despair in his expression for his missing friend. "I talked to Wanda."

"Oh yeah?"

"She doesn't blame you. She was very insistent that I tell you that."

"Well, she's very forgiving then. Still wrong though."

"No," you stood, putting your hand over his to stop him, "she's right. They didn't have to join you there. Pietro didn't have to save Clint. They made some of the decisions on their own. Yes, you created Ultron, but there were other things at play here beyond even you."

Tony sighed and took his hand, continuing with his task, "okay."

There had to be some way to get him to believe what you were saying; some way to break through his own self-doubt and the torturous thoughts that he was putting on himself. There had to be something that he would understand and see that you were telling him the truth. "I know that you would never have done anything if you knew what was going to happen. I know that it's not your fault...dad..."

"What did you just say?"

"That's what you want, right? That's how you see yourself?" You leaned in front of him, forcing his eye contact, "because that's how I see you. You've always taken care of me, since the day Fury dropped me off here."

"Yeah..." he exhaled, almost sounding as if a weight had been lifted from him, "that's what I want."

You smiled and realized that you had found your answer; how you could get a win. "Okay, then you've got it. On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to believe that this isn't your fault."

"Oh, you're good," he pointed at you with a wide grin, "I'm starting to think you're actually mine. You're really good."

"So do we have a deal?"

He stepped back from the table and grabbed your arm, pulling you into him and into a tight embrace, smiling into your hair as he kissed your head. "We have a deal."