No one in their right mind would have funded it.

You sat on the side of the stage, well out of the view of the mass of students and staff as they listened to Tony's presentation at MIT, opening himself up to them with one of his many painful memories of the day he had lost his parents. It hurt you to see him this way, but you couldn't let him see that, because it only fueled his guilt even more to put that on you. You had been at his side as a teammate since the Battle of New York brought you out of SHIELD's ranks to join the Avengers, but in the last month or so, the two of you had become more and you had been given insight into what made him into this broken version of himself that you were now watching.

"All of your projects have just been approved and funded!" he announced with a hint of happiness in his voice, though it didn't at all match the expression behind it. "No strings, no taxes, just...reframe the future!"

"Holy shit," you muttered under your breath, turning to the fidgety little man at your side. "How much are we talking? What did he just commit to, dollars-wise?"

"Millions," he smiled widely, almost creepily in his excitement, "so many millions."

You stood with your mouth agape at the idea of just how much Tony had promised away, your mind spinning with the number that you could barely comprehend. You watched him pause, though you couldn't see his face anymore, and when he spoke again he sounded broken and somber, very much unlike the charismatic man you had come to love over the years. He finally forced himself to turn away from the eager and energized faces staring back at him, realizing that he couldn't bring himself to offer any more.

"Tony," you greeted when he left the stage and approached, "what was that?"

"Hmm? What was what?"

"That took my breath away," the tiny little man broke in, pushing you aside a step, "Tony, so generous! So much money!"

It was more of a shock to you that Tony kept on, moving towards the exit as if he were in autopilot, not saying any more to you or to the jerk who just pushed you out of his way. "Excuse me," you broke in, "but I think Mr. Stark-"

"Will any portion of that grant be made available to faculty?"

"Okay, listen, you creepy little turtle," you finally insisted, finding your tolerance gone and your voice more firm than ever, "back off. I'll be answering any questions that you have about Tony's presentation, and I'll be doing it when I'm damn good and ready. Until then, shove your pointy head back under your shell and wait for me."

"Restroom's this way, yeah?" Tony asked, clearly not hearing the conversation you were having right next to him. He was in a daze, and you were growing more concerned with each one of his steps.

"Tony, hold on," you urged, taking his arm in your hand, thankful when he complied and stopped. You turned to the annoyance in glasses that was still standing next to you, waving him away dismissively just to not have to hear him breathing anymore if nothing else. "Okay, so go, Toby. Find a spot in the corner and wait your turn."

The man took your direction with a pout, though also with a firmly set jaw to maintain a hint of his waning dignity. Tony smiled for the first time, though it was quickly dashed and he looked away, returning to his path towards the door.

"Toby?"

"He looks like the turtle from Robin Hood."

He looked back with a glance over his shoulder at the dejected man, nodding with a quick agreement. "Sure, I can see that. Good call. Listen," he stopped, leaning in to give you a chaste kiss on the cheek, "I'll be right back."

"Tony, what's going on?"

"What do you mean? Nothing. All good."

"You said that you would never lie to me. Don't make that your first one."

"I'm not?"

"Sweetie, you just gave away a significant amount of money like you were cleaning out pocket change. Did you think that through or was it off the cuff? Did you stop to think about how much money that really is?"

"Nope, but it's okay," he shrugged, "I'll make it all back by the end of the day."

"The day might come when it's not that easy for you."

"Yeah, and why are you worried about it?"

"I'm worried that you're not thinking clearly, Tony. You haven't been yourself for a few weeks now, and I'm worried that you're giving your stuff away like it's nothing. You just said it yourself during your speech. No one in their right mind would have funded your project, and then you turn around and fund all of theirs without seeing what they have to offer. Maybe you're the one who's not in their right mind."

"Listen, I didn't get into this relationship with you to have a new mommy, (Y/N)."

"Tony..." you gasped as if he had just slapped you across the face, "take that back. Take that back right now. That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to get you to see that there's something going on with you, and that I want to help."

"Well, I didn't really ask for that, now did I?" he answered coldly. You could see that he was detached from the moment, and behind his eyes there was almost a confusion blocking him from you. You wanted to reach out to him, but even just the twitch of your hand in his direction left him reeling and evading your touch. "Tell ya what, how about you don't worry so much about me anymore and let me go take a piss already. We have a meeting at the compound tomorrow, so I'll just see you then. You can take the car." With that, he pulled from your grip and slammed the door open with a closed fist, allowing it to crash shut behind him, hard enough to make you jump from the force of the sound that echoed around you.

The sound may as well have been the breaking sensation in your chest, because it hurt just as much. What you couldn't see, however, was Tony standing on the other side of the door, pressed to it with tightly closed eyes and wringing hands; cursing himself for being too weak to let you go the right way. It was easier, he told himself, choosing a clean break that would make you hate him, protecting you from what he needed to do, but in a single moment of clarity, he panicked.

What if he had just made it inevitable that you would choose the wrong side?

Part 2

Well, you guys asked for it, so here's part 2. ANGST WARNING because of that damn Infinity War leaked trailer.

Tony was right.

Tony hated himself so much more when he was right, despite what everyone thought about him. They all thought that the only thing he wanted in life was to be right and to rub it in their faces with arrogant aplomb, but it couldn't be further from the truth. He hated that part of himself, and no matter how much he tried to repent, it just found its way back to slap him in the face and be worse than ever. He was right about just how far he had pushed you away, and dammit, he had never wished that he had been wrong more in his life than on this day.

The war had been fought, but there was no winner. Steve and his team were gone, the team was irrevocably split with a fracture so wide that it might never be repaired. What Tony didn't know, was on which side of that cavern you stood; you had stayed away from the fight, refusing to choose a side, and he dared to take that as a sign that he might still find a way to keep you on his even after it all. But you had stayed away so successfully that he also worried that you were unreachable, even though it may have been exactly what he deserved. He hadn't just pushed you away, he shoved.

But today would be the day that would give him an answer, whether or not you would so much as give him the time of day. The two of you hadn't spoken since that day at MIT, when you returned to the compound to pack your belongings from the room you had just begun to share and back to your own. Even after the move, you felt too close to him, so you had convinced Clint to switch quarters so that you could be as far away from Tony as possible before you finally just moved out completely when the team shattered. It was a miracle that you had agreed on this meeting now, but it wasn't that you actually had much of a choice. Steve's team was returning to the compound after a much larger threat had been identified, and with the fate of the world and maybe even the universe in their hands, every single Avenger was being called into action and the Accords had been scrapped.

As you stood at the door of the building that had been your home, the building that held that man who used to be your home, you never felt more ostracized and out of place. You hoped that when your skin connected to the cool metal of the door handle, the memories would give you strength, but all it gave you was anxiety and pause.

"You have to open it for it let you in."

"Hey, Clint," you smiled to yourself, not turning to face your friend, "I thought you would have been here before me, considering."

"Considering that none of us expected you to be here at all?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"I can go in with you, if it helps."

"Thanks," you sighed, "but I'm good. I just caught a glimpse of him at the top of the stairs but I don't think he saw me. I just need to get my heart out of my throat before I try to talk, that's all."

"You gonna throw up?" he asked, taking a small step back. "You look a little green."

"No, Barton, I'm not," you scoffed, finally giving the door a firm pull open, "at least not yet. I'll tell you one thing though, Tony Stark might need a new pair of shoes once we come face-to-face. I've got great aim."

"I'm gonna keep that in mind for future reference," he smiled, "but hey, If it helps, Cap said that he got a few good hits in on Tony for ya."

"Why would that help?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "just trying to make you feel better before we go in." Clint stepped forward and took your hand that was still resting on the door's handle, and hadn't made any motion to release it for you to enter in the time it had taken to have your conversation. He held it gently, turning you to face him with a look of true concern. "You gonna be okay?"

"Always."

"Wow," he scoffed, again finding the smile that tried to soothe your nerves, "after this long apart, you still sound just like him."

You hadn't been with Tony all that long as a couple before he unceremoniously dumped you without warning, but you had no idea that it had taken only that short time to adopt his mannerisms. Apparently, it had, and it unnerved you to think about it; there was one blaring difference between the two of you, however, and in what you had just said. "Except that I mean it, Clint."

"Right. I'll believe when I see it."

~~~

After Clint had all but pushed you through the door and into the compound, he led you to the conference room that you had known so well, but hadn't seen with your own eyes in far too long. The seating arrangement hadn't changed, remarkably, even with everything that the team had just been through; Cap was at the head of the long, dark wooden table, with Tony at the other end, your teammates taking their places between them and sitting next to friends that they had fought against like enemies. It looked as if nothing had happened, even if it were only the façade that they had chosen to portray, but it was convincing nonetheless.

"So, they're really gone?" Steve spoke first. "The Accords?"

"Yep," Tony answered, "Ross folded when he realized that we needed all hands on deck for this."

"And what is this, exactly?"

"That's just it, we don't know." Tony squirmed in his chair, uncharacteristically, looking around the table at each face that wanted and needed more, despite him having nothing more to give.

"Sounds about right," you finally nodded and joined in. "So, what's the plan, Cap? How do we start?"

"Intel. We need a group to connect with Ross and gather all the info we can on this Thanos guy before he gets here. We can't find what we don't know."

Now Natasha's gentle chuckle added to the dialogue, shaking her head in disbelief at how quickly it felt like the old days. It really wasn't all that long ago that Fury had thrown everyone together and hoped for the best, and it was all too reminiscent. "We can't? We do that all the time."

"I'll take the lead on the intel team," Tony offered quickly. "Who's with me?" His willingness was met with nothing more than silence, finding that no one was as eager to jump into something so vague yet terrifying as what little they already knew. He threw his hands up in both defeat and annoyance, looking at each of them with shame at their lack of selflessness all of the sudden. "Come on, seriously! No one?"

"I'll do it."

Tony turned and looked at you as if you had grown an extra head, expecting you to be the last to say anything about working at his side again. "You sure? You've been out of the game for a while."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Hey, no one said that you had to leave," he snapped, and accusatory finger pointed in your direction. Oh, how you wanted to break that finger just to take that smug look off of his face.

"I wasn't about to get caught in the middle of your little pissing match with Steve. And you made it very clear that I wasn't welcome in your life anymore."

"Guys-" Sam attempted, but was quickly shot down.

"I never said that! I said that I didn't need you doting over me-"

"You said that you didn't need a new mommy!"

"I don't!"

"That's not what I was doing!" you snapped, standing with a hard shove of your chair that hit the wall behind you. "I was worried about you, and you took it as smothering! No wonder you suck at relationships!"

"That's not why!" Tony rose to his feet in kind. "It's because I'm an arrogant asshole!"

"Hey, no argument here," you snorted, hands up in front of you. The room around the two of you built in the sound of mumbled and hushed agreement with you, leaving Tony to feel like an outsider in his own building, shaking his head in disgust at the fractured idea of what this team had now become, and just how far he pushed you away. Yes, he had his fault in it, but it was more the realization of his naiveté in thinking that you could all come together again after the idea of being a family was all but destroyed.

"Okay, you know what? This has to wait," he conceded. "We're running out of time before this guy shows up looking for whatever it is that he wants. (Y/N), you with me or not?"

~~~

Tony wasn't far away. You could see the haze of red and gold through the burning of your eyes, your corneas seared by the flames around you and the heat that left tears streaming down your face. You had tripped over a piece of Steve's shield as you tried to get to Tony, and your Captain was nowhere in sight. Peter's hand caught your ankle as you took a step next to him, toppling you to the ground when even that tiny disruption to your balance took you down. Your body was giving up, your muscles revolting against your commands to move, and your will to continue to get to Tony began to wane under the increasing pain that began to swell in every extremity.

"Pete...I'll come back...just...hang on..." you tried, gasping for air in the haze and smoke filling your lungs. "Tony..."

"Tell Mr. Stark that...I'm sorry."

"Tony," you continued on, now crawling over shards of glass that tore at your skin, and white-hot metal debris from the broken buildings that surrounded your team. You could see the glow from the flames against his suit, his image growing clearer as you got closer to him, reaching out to try to make contact. "Tony...I'm here. I'm with you."

"(Y/N)...sweetheart, I'm sorry..." he answered, straining and out of breath as much as you were. His face was bloodied and bruised, swollen and barely resembling the man that you knew. "For all of it...I'm so sorry."

"Honey, just...take my hand."

Tony reached out, his body shaking and fingers extended to their limits, but he pulled back when another explosion shook the ground beneath you, sending another building nearby crashing down first with screams that echoed in every direction, and then an eerie nothingness.

"(Y/N), I love you. It can't end...without you knowing that. I always have, and that never changed...I tried...wanted to protect you..."

"I know," you answered quickly, this time the tears moistening your face not from the heat, but from the pain that this was leaving you with. The pain of knowing that this could be the last time you saw him shredded your heart and hurt more than anything that your body was going through. But you tried to not let him see that, pushing to carry your voice to him one last time, and pushing forward until your fingers just barely grazed his. "I love you too, Tony. No matter what happens...you and me...it's never the end."