Warning: Infidelity, some language

You should have known.

"See, (Y/N)," you muttered to yourself as you hurried down the long hallway back to your room, "this is what you get when you trust people. You're so goddamn stupid." You could feel the lump in your throat beginning to steal your air, and the stinging pain of your emotions threatened to choke your words with each one spoken. Your eyes burned from both the unforgettable sight that they had just taken in, and from your determination to hold back the tears that were inevitable, but you just had to make it a little bit further before you could let it all go; one more corner and you'd be at the room you shared with Bucky, and it could all finally fall apart behind closed doors. "Oh, son of a bitch," you cursed under your breath at the sound of heavy feet making their way closer from the other side of the last turn that you needed to make.

"Hey, (Y/N)," Steve smiled widely at the sight of you, but his glee quickly dropped away when he really looked beyond the quick greeting. You could usually hide your feelings well enough to keep people out when you wanted them out, but this cut was just too deep and you were failing miserably. "What's wrong? What happened?" he asked with full concern, reaching out with a supportive hand that you slapped away with a loud crack against his skin and all of the fury that you were trying to save for your true target.

"Did you know?"

"Did I...? Did I know what?"

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers," you hissed, now finding that keeping your tears held in was a lost battle. "Did you know?"

"(Y/N), I don't-" Steve began to explain, but he was abruptly halted when Bucky appeared in his view behind you, making his way cautiously down the hall as if he were filled with fear at your catching sight of him. "No, doll, I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm gonna need you to tell me right now."

"All you need to know, Steve, is that having friends is a waste of time, and all it does is trick you into thinking that people care about you. You should remember that the next time you think that your best friend gives a shit about anything that happens to you. I was a fool in opening myself up and thinking that I could trust her...or him...and now..." you began to pant, feeling as if your chest were being crushed from every direction, "now I can't imagine staying here another minute. Excuse me." You pushed him aside, thankful that he allowed you to when he easily could have blocked your attempt, hurrying almost frantically to get into your room when you heard the first note of Bucky's voice.

"FRIDAY, lock the door," you commanded, pressing your ear against the barrier to listen to the two men as they met on the other side of it, grimacing at the sound of their tones growing angrier and louder with each passing word.

"What did you do, Buck?"

"I screwed up! It was an accident, I swear! All I did was kiss her!"

"You kissed who?"

"Nat!"

"Oh, Buck, come on! How do you call that an accident? It's really hard to fall right on someone's lips, and since I'm pretty sure that you don't wear lipstick, it looks like you kept them there for a good while. How are you this stupid? How could you do something like this to (Y/N)?"

"Steve, it was a mistake! I need to tell her that I'm sorry-"

You backed away from the door when his footsteps began again and grew louder on his approach, looking around the room as if you were actually considering hiding from him when he knew full well that you were in there. "FRIDAY, keep him out."

"Of course."

The door began to shake as Bucky tried to get it open, growling in frustration when it wasn't working; he started to bang his fist so loudly that the echo filled your room with such a sharp force that you covered your ears to block it out. "(Y/N), let me in! Please, let me explain!"

"Go away!"

"(Y/N), please, I need to talk to you!"

"I need you to go away!" you repeated, frantically circling your room looking for anything that would work to get you out of there and away from him. For so long, Bucky's voice was your safe place and gave you comfort; now it was grating and painful, and everything that you never thought it could be. But in an unexpected stroke of luck, it was his voice that jarred a memory, leading you to his backup pack of mission gear and exactly what you needed to find your reprieve.

Tearing open your closet door, you then grabbed one of your bags and began to haphazardly throw clothing into it, trying to be sure that you had the right ratio of bottoms to tops, but in the moment, it wasn't your first concern. In the haze of tears that clouded your vision, it was hard to even tell what you were grabbing, but it would have to do. Next, under the continued boom of his voice that was cursing at FRIDAY to let him in, you hurried to the bathroom for a few necessities, again grabbing anything that seemed useful.

"Dammit, FRIDAY, it's my room too! Open the door!"

"Thanks for your help, FRIDAY," you whispered under your breath, taking a few seconds to prepare your nerves for what you were about to do. A quick pass of your sleeve over your eyes wiped away the last of the tears that you would spill for Bucky Barnes, and a deep breath cleansed you of the friendship that you thought you had with Natasha Romanoff. From this moment on, you vowed to never make this mistake again, and you would have no one to answer to or care about other than yourself. It was just so much easier that way. Gathering your strength, you picked up a bedside table, deliberately choosing Bucky's, and threw it into the large window that overlooked the compound's grounds, shielding yourself from the splayed mess of glass that it left behind.

"(Y/N)! What are you doing?" Came Steve's voice this time, sending a wave of fear through you; it hadn't occurred to you that their speed could easily eclipse your own, and trying to run wasn't the best plan anymore.

"FRIDAY, I'm gonna need one more slightly illegal favor, and for you to keep a secret."

"I will do my best, miss."

Your feet had barely touched down onto the grass when you heard a rumbling blast from your room above, followed by the slam of your door as it hit the ground after Bucky shot it cleanly from its frame. The two men charged into your room and towards the window where shards of glass were all that was left of it, and where Bucky's grappling hook was secured so that you could rappel down and away from the building. The last sight that he thought he would ever have of you was of you in the far distance, leaving this life behind in one of Tony's now stolen cars.

~~~

It was a sight that Steve knew you would want to see if you were still there, and he would be lying to himself to say that he wasn't enjoying it too. Bucky and Natasha were sitting on opposite ends of the conference room table, their eyes drawn to the floor in a clear attempt to stay away from each other; they looked like school children caught by their teacher in the worst transgression they could have made, which wasn't exactly far from the truth.

"She can keep the car," Tony finally spoke, his cold tone breaking the heavy silence, "and I've wired her enough money to take off as much time as she needs. FRIDAY has her location blocked, so don't even think about trying to find her."

Bucky's head snapped up, his eyes wide and his expression filled with both pain and shock. He was expecting to be berated and punished for this, and for Tony to track you down in his stolen vehicle; he never once thought that Stark would be okay with it all. "Wait, so you're not going to bring her back?"

"Are you kidding? Why would I do that?"

"Because...she's...she's an Avenger," he stammered, "and...she has a duty...a life here..."

"She had a life here," Tony corrected. "But you two assholes screwed all that up."

"Tony, it was an accident-" Natasha tried, but the harsh glare from her teammate stopped her cold.

"I swear to god, if you call this an accident one more time, I'm gonna throw a dictionary at you." Tony held her stare so long that the normally unwavering spy began to shift uncomfortably in her chair, holding his attention as long as she could until he finally broke her and she was forced to look away. Her resolve was crumbling around her, and she normally would have turned away to hide the trembling shake in her lower lip, but she had nothing to lose anymore; this was happening by her own hand, and she welcomed their judgement.

"We really are sorry, Tony," she answered back softly. "We just want the chance to apologize."

"Well, Romanoff, it's good to want things. It makes you tougher when you don't get your way." Tony grabbed his few belongings from the table top, satisfied that he had made his point, but disappointed that he would ever have to take this role of forced parenting with a group of grown adults who should really know better. The only one to react when he stood was Steve, not standing until Tony was behind him with a swift slap on the side of his arm. "Alright, Cap. You're up."

~~~

Looking around the hotel room that Tony had found for you, it was clear to you that his lifestyle was one that you would never understand; the opulence of it all was just too much, and it made you feel like you shouldn't touch anything without fear of breaking it. Sure, he meant well, obviously, but he had actually made you even more uncertain than before, and far more anxious than you had been when you tossed yourself from your bedroom window to make your escape.

With a long, forced sigh, you tossed your bag on the ground carelessly and kicked off your shoes, pressing your back to the door for a moment to gather the emotions that you had forced down into the depths of yourself so that you could run. Now that you were alone, however, everything could be allowed to change and be released, but the odd sensation of nothing happening left you confused and a little bit terrified. Bucky had been the most important person in your life for a long time now, and to have already moved past tears so quickly was disconcerting at best.

The bed in front of you certainly looked welcoming, you quickly decided, investing yourself in the idea that this would be your home for a few days and that you had earned one hell of a nap for surviving one of the worst days of your life so far. With a heavily shuffling gait, you dragged your feet across the plush carpet on your way to a lovely rest, dropping yourself face-first onto the pillow top with a forced grunt. "Oh yeah, this is the stuff," you mumbled into the mattress, already feeling your body relaxing into it.

"(Y/N)?"

"Oh, for shit's sake," you groaned, but unmoving. "Are you lost, Rogers?"

"But I brought something for you. Open the door."

"I'm not falling for that. If you brought him here to beg forgiveness then you can just turn right around-"

"I didn't, I promise! Just look."

"Yeah, cuz who needs a few minutes alone to plot the perfect murder?" you snorted, pushing reluctantly against the bed to bring yourself to stand, feeling the true fatigue that was torturing your every muscle now that you had taken these few precious seconds to actually relax. A long yawn with your arms stretched far over your head left you with a wave of dizziness when you released it, making you stumble drunkenly back to the door with a loud thud against it.

"You okay, doll?"

"Oh, sure, just wonderful," you mumbled, pushing up on your toes to look at him through the peephole at the center of the door. "Oh my god, you brought pizza!" you practically squealed in a surge of adrenaline, eagerly throwing the door open to allow him entry. He jumped at the sudden burst of energy in front of him, his hands wobbling ever so slightly and threatening to drop the best thing you had seen all day. You rushed forward and took the giant box from him, inhaling the scent that made you realize that you were actually starving; he reached out to take the miracle from your hands but you returned his efforts with a deep growl and a fire in your eyes that set him back a step.

"Or, yeah...you can take it..."

"Smart boy."

"I try," he shrugged, following you into the room with a gentle kick of his foot to shut the door behind him. "You okay?"

"Hell of a lot better now." With no care to manners or grace, you made short work of the first slice, not giving attention to the burn in your mouth from your lack of caution before diving in for the next. Two more slices later and you felt able to engage in whatever discussion Steve had come here for, but you weren't an idiot, and you knew exactly where this was going. "I'm not going to forgive them, Steve. Ever."

"I know."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone."

"That's a very noble intention," you smiled gently, your hand moving to take another piece of pizza, but you stopped and pulled it away hesitantly, "but he's your best friend."

"And?"

"I don't know," you exhaled heavily, "maybe...I guess I just feel like this isn't for you to fix. I'm not yours to save, and I can't put you in a position like this."

"(Y/N)," Steve scoffed, dropping the slice in his hand back into the box with a frustrated toss, "listen to me. Hey," he paused, reaching out to take your chin in hand and turn you to force your attention, "listen. Yeah, Buck's my best friend. But I don't have to agree with everything he does just because of it. Trust me, this is hard for me to say, but I'm ashamed to be his pal right now, and he knows it."

"No, Steve, don't," you shook your head enough to release his grip, "don't let this get between you guys. I can take care of myself, and I will. I just need a little time away to get my head on right before I can come back to work."

"Okay, so what can I do to help? Besides being the hottest delivery boy this side of the Hudson?"

"Wow, Steve, I can't believe that your head still fit through the door."

"Pfft, whatever," he waved you off dismissively, but his mood shifted quickly and his eyes widened, his grin turning into a bright smile as he stood and dug into his jacket pocket to produce a credit card that definitely didn't bear his name. "I've got it! I know what you need!"

"Um, Cap, that's not yours..."

"I know! It's Tony's!"

"What the hell are you doing with Tony's credit card?"

"He told me to get you anything that you needed, and here I am running for pizza," he snorted, pushing the box top closed with a slap of his hand. "We can do so much better. Come on," he paused, grabbing your hand eagerly, "it's time for a road trip. I know exactly what will cheer you up, and with Stark's car we'll get there in no time."

"Okay? Where are we going?" you asked skeptically, barely able to pull on your shoes as he all but dragged you from the room in his excitement. He looked like a little kid who couldn't wait to get the trip started, and you had never seen him like this before. "Steve, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me."

"(Y/N)," he bounced on his toes impatiently, "we're going to Disneyworld!"

"Shut up!"

"I will not!"

"Tony is totally gonna kill us."

Finally able to pull you into the hallway with your shoes barely secured, he pushed the door shut and hurried towards the elevator; only seconds later he had decided that it was taking too long and led you to the stairwell instead to make your great getaway. "He can't kill us if he can't catch us, doll!"