Can't Be Controlled (Avengers x reader)

"No way we all get through this."

"I've got no plans tomorrow night," Steve sighed, smiling sadly to himself at the sight of you talking to Vision on the far side of the room. Now that the team was facing what was perhaps its greatest threat, he was filled with regret that he hadn't found a way to tell you how he felt; that being your friend was just a consolation for what he really wanted. "Well, I guess I shouldn't speak so soon."

"Have to check with the missus?"

"Ha," he scoffed, "not the missus, Tony. I've told you a million times, we're just friends."

"You know, maybe you want to tell her how you feel before we go into this. Get it off your chest in case you come back dead and don't get another chance."

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" Bruce chuckled, nodding when you made your way towards them. "But you might have a point. This doesn't look good for any of us."

Tony took a deep breath and glanced back at you, reaching a hand out to welcome you into the discussion. "I get first crack at the big guy. Iron Man is the one he's waiting for."

"That is true, he hates you the most," Vision unintentionally deadpanned and walked past, leaving you with the three men. "I look forward to completing our conversation, (Y/N)," he added, waving at the trio as he exited towards the jet.

"Me too, Viz." You weren't immediately certain if this new addition to the team was good or bad; he had focused in quickly on you after his acceptance by the group, sensing your abilities and asking to know more about them. Right away you insisted on his silence, as you hadn't even told your team about everything that you could do. You definitely hadn't told Steve, because not all of your powers might be considered good, and you didn't want to let him down.

"You seem to have taken a liking to the new guy pretty quickly. Talking about anything good?"

"Hey, Cap. Nah, just business," you deflected with a small grin. "So, you boys ready?"

Steve nodded his confirmation and stood with a stretch of his arms over his head, leaning back with a quiet groan that didn't escape anyone, watching the healthiest man on the planet with confused stares. "Do you ever wake up in the morning and just feel like you're a hundred years old?"

Tony looked to you and Bruce, tipping his head towards the jet to lead you away, deciding not to play along, though under any other circumstances he wouldn't hesitate. He was already feeling down about the Ultron situation and harboring plenty of guilt; even Steve's attempt at humor couldn't lift his spirits. When he said that not everyone would survive this battle, he actually believed it, and it would all be his fault. He would be the cause of death for any of his friends, and he would never be ready for that.

"Tony?" You were following close behind, enough to reach up and lightly touch his arm. You could feel the fear coursing though him and gently took some of it away, negating only enough for him to feel more at ease, but not so much that he would realize what you had just done. "You okay?"

"Always."

~~~

You stood by Clint on the final rescue boat, looking out over the destroyed city with remorse at what had happened, turning to rest your hand on his shoulder as you waited for the remainder of the team to join you. You dared to think that everyone would actually come out of this, unlike what Tony had believed, but once the thought crossed your mind, you pushed it away.

"Something just moved over there, did you see it?" you straightened and pointed towards a small market. "I'm gonna check it out."

"No, I've got it," Clint argued, "you stay here and don't let them leave without me." He broke into a quick jog towards the boy before you could react, reaching him faster than you would have thought. He lifted him into his arms and turned to you with a small wave before making his way back, but the sound of bullets raining down towards him stopped him in his tracks so he could shield the boy with his own body.

Raising your hands in front of you to use the powers you had sworn not to, you were about to stop the bullets before they could reach your teammate, but Pietro rushed by, hitting your shoulder and breaking your concentration.

"I can reach them."

"Pietro, wait! Dammit!" He rushed past you and into the line of fire, grabbing Clint and the boy, moving them to safety before your eyes could catch up with what was happening. When he stopped, his body was riddled with bullet holes and covered in blood with Clint frozen in place, staring at him in shock until you appeared at their side.

"I told him to stop," you panted, dropping onto to the ground next to him as you listened to Wanda's scream fill the area all around you. You put your hands on his back and closed your eyes, envisioning where you would choose as the best place to take him. "Meet us at the tower."

"What?" Clint asked with a shake of his head back into the moment, but you wouldn't be answering him, disappearing into nothing with Pietro in tow. "What the hell just happened?" he gasped, looking down at the boy who was in just as much shock as he was.

Steve jogged up to his side and stopped, looking to Clint in complete confusion at what you had just done, though neither of them really knew what that was. With the city still rising, and the risk of a drop at any moment, the two men ran to the boat just in time, resolved to get an answer the second they got back home.

~~~

The loud clang of each bullet echoed in the infirmary as you dropped them into the metal bowl sitting at Pietro's side, painstakingly removing each one as carefully as you could as to not do any more damage. It would already be nearly impossible to heal him and bring him back, but you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you didn't at least try.

With the final slug, you gave one last look over him and decided that you couldn't wait any more, with each passing moment making success even less likely. You closed your eyes and placed your hands over his heart, steadying yourself for the surge of energy that would be stolen from you when given to him. It might take every ounce you had, but then at least you could be content with dying with dignity.

You heard a faint heartbeat building in his chest, followed by the whoosh of blood moving through his veins and arteries. Soon, a breath rose and fell in his chest, followed by another, and another. You were so focused on those sounds of life that you didn't hear Steve enter the room, or the sound of his voice trying to get your attention. You didn't hear the rest of the team follow behind him, nor the sound of Wanda's crying changing to tight breaths of anticipation as she felt him come to life.

You didn't hear Steve's gasp when you collapsed to the ground, nor the feeling of his arms around you as he barely reached you in time to catch you from a hard landing. "What did you do?" he whispered into your hair, holding you close and lifting you from the floor. He set you on a gurney next to Pietro, focusing solely on you despite the miracle that was occurring next to him. "Did any of you know?"

"I did," Wanda whispered, "I could feel it. But I didn't know that she hadn't told you." She looked up from her brother, who was slowly coming back to consciousness, and walked towards you to lay a hand over your own heart, connecting herself to you. "She will be alright. She needs rest. She's very powerful, Captain. Like nothing I've ever known."

~~~

The connection with Wanda that day had held, though neither of you were sure why. Over the year that followed, the two of you had become inseparable, united by both your rescue of her brother, but as the two most powerful Avengers on a team that was quickly becoming divided before your eyes. You would also become the two most feared, leaving you to make the decision of either choosing the Accords with Tony or a life of uncertainty and constraints on your freedom to act with Steve.

"If we don't do this now," Tony said calmly with a quick glance to you and Wanda, "then it's gonna be done to us later. That's a fact. That won't be pretty."

"You're saying they'll come for us."

Steve straightened and looked at Wanda and then to you, realizing what that could mean for you both. Other than Sam, you were his closest friend on the team, and he couldn't imagine anyone trying to take you away from him.

"We would protect you," Vision offered.

"Okay, so what does it mean if we say no?" you asked. "I've never been good with private citizenship."

"Well then you had better learn," Rhodey scoffed, "because there's no other option."

~~~

"You're really leaving?" Steve asked in a timid voice, standing at your door while he watched you pack. His eyes had yet to meet yours, and every time you looked in his direction, he quickly cast them away. "I don't understand how you can be neutral in all of this. How can you just turn away? How can you leave Wanda...or...me?"

"Because for as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right. And what's right," you paused, closing your bag, "is to to help where I'm needed. It's not about taking sides, and it's not about legalities. If a situation goes south and I can help, then I can come and go before anyone knows that I was even there." You pulled your suitcase to your side and stood silently, waiting for the Captain's reply before you teleported away for the last time.

"You stealing my lines now?" he smiled weakly, finally looking up. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"If it's the only way to make you understand, then yeah, I suppose that I am. But listen, Steve, unless you have something to say that will change my mind, this is what I have to do."

Steve stood silently, but his mouth opened and closed several times as if he wanted to tell you something. His posture was uncomfortable, and you couldn't help but feel it yourself. He took a step forward but stopped, still making no successful effort to break through his own fear of what he wanted you to know.

"Nothing?" you huffed, "Really? Not a thing to say to me?"

"I...I don't know how..." he stopped with a groan, running his hand through his hair in complete frustration with his own ineptitude. Even after all this time, he hadn't figured out a way to tell you how he felt, and he had just watched his last chance slip away. "No...nothing."

"Okay. Then this is goodbye, Steve."

~~~

It didn't take long after that day for all hell to break loose, and the news that the team had convened in Germany, leaving a trail of destruction behind, reached you quickly. You hurried there as soon as you heard, but they were already gone. Standing amidst the flames and smoke, you searched for any sign of where they had gone next, when you sensed pain from Wanda nearby. Running towards it as fast as you could, you met up with her, Sam and Clint as they were being taken away under heavy guard.

"Sam, where is he going?"

"I can't tell you, you know that," he hissed quietly under his breath, struggling in the handcuffs that were tightly bound behind him. "He has to get there, and if I tell you, you're gonna stop him."

"I'm going to stop him, but only from this asinine fight with Tony. Look at yourselves, Sam, you're criminals now. What good is this doing?"

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I can't." The police officer holding him pulled him away from you and threw him into the truck, strapping him into a seat so that he couldn't move. You caught a glimpse inside and saw Wanda, and heard her in your mind just before they collared her abilities.

"Thank you," you whispered with a small nod, disappearing as a police officer reached out for you but just evading their grip.

By the time you could make it to Siberia, the three men were already there. The jet was sitting empty, and there was no one at the entry; you pushed against the heavy door but it wouldn't give. With a fast look around to be sure you were alone, you directed the door to open, allowing you entry in time to see the look on Tony's face that filled your mind with pain, and to hear something that you never would have believed if you hadn't been standing right there.

"Did you know?"

"I didn't know it was him."

"Don't bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know?"

Steve stared at Tony for a moment, deciding which answer he would give. You held your breath and waited with as much anticipation as Tony was, believing that Steve would say no and that there might be hope to work this out in a civilized way. Steve's spine straightened and his jaw set; you immediately knew that your hopes were about to be crushed with a single word.

"Yes."

~~~

The three men were into a battle to destroy each other within seconds, before you could get to them to calm their tempers. Bucky had deflected one of Tony's missiles, hitting the wall and sending machinery crashing down around you; with a wave of your hand you managed to push it away enough to avoid crushing the two men into the ground beneath it. Steve ran to engage Tony so that Bucky could run, but once again, Tony cut him off before he could get away. As the situation escalated, you feared that you would be asked again to choose a side, but beyond that, you knew there was a very real possibility that you would watch one of your friends die.

The sound of repulors and yelling was an assault on your senses and your mind; Steve looked to you with an expectant expression but you were frozen in place. When you saw him now, he was a stranger to you. He wasn't the man that you had known for years, now that so much had happened and you had seen a side of him that you would have never expected. By the time that the fight had come to an end, you were more uncertain of your allegiances than ever before.

You made your way to the bottom of the cavern to find Bucky almost unconscious and wounded, Steve crawling on the floor and covered in his own blood, and finally Tony, looking terrified and dazed, the chest piece of his suit completely shattered by the shield. Of the three, you hurried to his side and knelt beside him, grabbing his hand to take his pain and to heal his wounds. Steve watched you with his mouth agape and in shock, but you refused to meet his eyes.

"I don't know who you are anymore."

"(Y/N), please, let me explain-"

"You lied, Steve. You lied right to his face. About his parents. How could you do that to someone who you used to call your friend?"

"I had to protect Buck," he pleaded. "You have to understand that."

"I don't have to do anything but realize that I never really knew you, did I?" you snapped in a cold reply. "You say that you're always honest, but I think you're telling that lie to yourself just as much as you are to everyone else."

Steve pushed himself up to his feet and pulled the shield angrily away from Tony's suit. "You mean the same way you did when you didn't tell us about your powers?"

"I didn't lie, Steve. I didn't tell anyone because I never intended to use them. Tony asked you a question, that you knew would destroy him no matter what the answer was, and you lied your ass off."

"This doesn't have to end like this, (Y/N). Please, just let me explain."

"Get out of my sight, Rogers," you growled, finally looking up at him with a rage that made him take a step back. Tony tried to push himself up, but you held him in place until you could be sure that Steve was gone.

"I thought you weren't going to take a side, (Y/N). But I never once thought that you'd take his."

"I'm not. I told you, I only want to do what's right, and that's not going to be with you. Now, I said go, before I do something that I might regret."

Steve didn't hesitate now and reached down to lift Bucky to his side. They began to walk away, but it was Tony who called out to stop them.

"That shield doesn't belong to you. You don't deserve it. My father made that shield!"

You felt him try to stand, but you tightened your grip to keep him on the ground. There had been enough fighting for today, for even one lifetime as far as you were concerned, and you weren't about to allow any more if you could help it. Tony complied, holding his place next to you as the shield fell from Steve's hands; you were awash with grief in the moment, but it wasn't your own. It was Tony's.

"Hold onto me, Tony. I'll take you home."

"It's still your home too, (Y/N). If you want it to be."

If the last twenty minutes hadn't have happened, you might have taken him up on it. If the team wasn't so irrevocably broken, there was a chance that you could still be a part of it. But what you had told Steve was the truth; you wanted to help save the world when it needed you, but not if you were shackled by rules that didn't make sense to you. Tony was on that side, and no matter how much you cared about him and how much you wanted to go back, you couldn't.

"I'm sorry, I can't," you replied quietly, but your tone was strong enough to convey the end of the discussion. "Just hold on, Tony."

Part 2

"Hey, Cap, you should come and take a look at this!"

Steve entered the living room of their hideaway compound, crossing the room to stand by Sam, who was mesmerized by the images on the screen. Whatever the reporter was saying was lost on the Captain, who was so lost in the pictures of death and destruction that he was frozen in place.

"They said she saved over 1500 people," Sam continued quietly, "but all they focus on is the 43 she lost. Steve, they're gonna go after her."

"After who?" he mumbled, but when his friend didn't answer he was finally shaken from his trance, realizing his error right away. "Oh, right! Right...well, that's the choice she's made." Steve grabbed the remote from Sam's hands and turned the television off, tossing it onto a nearby table with a loud bang.

"What the hell, man? You're really gonna let Stark get his hands on her?" Sam reached out and grabbed Steve's arm before he could leave, turning the man to face him. "You remember what they did to Wanda in that prison, right? Please, tell me that it's stuck somewhere in that stubborn head of yours."

"Of course."

"How much worse do you think they're going to give it to (Y/N)? Hmm? You know that her powers surpass Wanda's, Steve. They're gonna shackle her and throw away the damn key."

Steve pulled his arm back slowly and brought a hand up to his chin, staring at the floor as his thoughts began to race. The last time you had spoken didn't go so well, and he had no idea how you would receive him or his help. "If we call Tony..."

Sam sighed and reached behind Steve to grab the remote again, never breaking his friend's stare as he turned the television on and the sounds of reporters filled the room, one of them talking about how Tony had already been called in to start the search.

"Something tells me that calling him is a really bad idea."

~~~

The tiny apartment that you had been given to take refuge in wasn't luxury accommodations by any means, but it would be enough for you to wait until the uproar died down and you could get back to your life. You could simply teleport anywhere you wanted, but having a place to touch down and call yours, even if only for a short time, was essential.

You stood at the center of the living room, with a full view of the kitchen, a wall of shelves, a small bathroom towards the back, and a fold-out bed in the opposite corner making up the entirety of it. Pietro was kind enough to stock supplies for at least a week, and if all went as you had hoped, you wouldn't need to step outside at all during that time.

"I know it's not much, but I am happy to give you this help," Pietro nodded as he stood next to you, surveying the room as you were. "I would give you a tour, but I think you've got the idea."

"It's great, thank you. This is really very generous."

"Please, this is nothing, (Y/N). I'm in debt to you for my existence. I will always be of service and will never stop thanking you." Pietro reached down and took your bag from your hand slowly, taking caution to not overstep your comfort with him; when you released it to him, he smiled widely and ran it to the bed and back in a flash of silver that breezed through your hair.

"Did that really need the flair, Piet? You could've just tossed it over there."

"Yes, I certainly could have, but I must admit, I wanted to watch your reaction," he replied coyly. "Your eyes followed me the entire time, which most find impossible to do at my speed." He stopped and regarded you with an inquisitiveness and the look of childlike excitement, taking a step back with a small clap of his hands. "Would you tell me more of your abilities? I know everything that Wanda can do, and I find this so fascinating."

"Tell you what," you smiled, with a gentle hand on his arm, "I'll tell you almost anything you want to know. Just let me survive this mess that I've gotten myself into first."

~~~

"Do you honestly think we're gonna find her?" Sam huffed, throwing his phone on the couch with a groan. "The girl can go wherever she wants in a second. If we blink too slow, we've missed her."

"Honestly," Steve replied distractedly, his eyes searching the bright computer screen over his desk, "I think that Wanda knows exactly where she is."

"Because..."

"Because she told me." The Captain smirked to himself, still turned away from Sam, though he could see the shocked expression in the screen's reflection.

"When?!"

"Couple of hours ago."

Sam threw his hands in the air in frustration and disgust, completely exasperated that he had been digging through files and maps for the last four hours for nothing. "You son of a...okay, you mean to tell me that you watched me work my ass off all afternoon when you already knew?"

"Yep." Steve finally turned with a wide smile now, standing to give him a firm slap on the arm as he passed by, but Sam held steady, refusing to let the jovial mood break him. "Just plotting out how we're going to surprise her. You ready?"

"I hate you."

~~~

Little did Steve know, you had already been thoroughly surprised enough to last the rest of your lifetime if you had the choice. But right now you had no choice in anything, not even the freedom to move or to speak. You were a bound animal now, fighting against the restraints that seized both your body and your mind.

"(Y/N), I never wanted to do this," Tony spoke quietly to you. "Please understand that I don't have a way around this. I don't want this."

You could hear him, but the surges of energy coursing through your mind made it difficult to comprehend exactly what he was saying. Every muscle in your body was in a painful spasm, rigid and shaking with each attempt to move, but you couldn't even scream though the agony gripping you; somehow Tony had found a way to completely incapacitate you when no one else ever could.

"(Y/N), please stop fighting."

He remained steady and his voice calm, holding the glowing net that enveloped you in his gauntlet covered hand to protect himself from it. Your legs finally began to weaken under the strain, and you could feel your muscles breaking down fiber by fiber. Every cell in your body was fighting it, dying in the attempt to be freed.

He couldn't have known what it was doing to you. Or could he?

"You chose wrong. This all could have been so much easier. I would have protected you, (Y/N)."

You couldn't tell him that you felt your heart beat begin to change, and your vision was growing spotty. You weren't sure if he would stop even if you could; he had a mission to complete but you had no idea how far he was taking it. It was nearing the point when you started to lose the point of caring.

"Tony, let her go!"

Steve ran into your temporary home, slamming the door against the wall with a force that split the wood on impact, rushing into Tony with his shield out and knocking him across the room. Sam rushed to you, frantically trying to figure out how to stop the energy that shocked him with every touch.

"Hold on, (Y/N), alright? I'm gonna figure this out."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Steve growled, holding Tony against the wall. "Are you trying to kill her? Turn it off!"

"She's a threat that has to be controlled," he hissed in reply, pushing against the shield. "You don't even know half of what she could do! She could cause destruction like we've never seen, and you want to just let her roam free? Listen, I don't want to do this either, but she's a risk. She's a liability. What if she gets into the wrong hands?"

"Steve," Sam broke in, "we need to get her out of this fast, I don't think she can hang on much longer."

With every ounce of determination and strength, Steve turned away from Tony and grabbed the net in his bare hands, tearing away at it as his body jolted and jerked with surges of energy, though it barely slowed him. The glow began to flicker and crackle, sparks flying all around as each strand was broken until it dimmed and faded to dark, the pieces of remaining material draped over you.

Tony stood silently, still tight against the wall with eyes filled with shock, but also an honest regret. He was torn at what to do. He watched as Sam breathed into you when you couldn't on your own, until you finally coughed and gasped back to life. He watched Steve struggle to lift himself from the ground, using the wall to pull his weakened body upright. He looked down at his hands, thought not his; they were metal and mechanical, built to fulfill a purpose of keeping people safe. He was wearing his suit for a reason; you were a threat that he was ordered to neutralize, and once again, he was found to be at odds with Steve Rogers.

He raised his hand, closing his eyes behind the mask, powering up and firing a hit that threw Sam through the door that Steve had destroyed, knocking him out at the impact. Steve dropped onto the ground in front of you with his shield raised, deflecting the next hit that would have finished you.

"I can't let you do this," Steve panted, still trying to regain his own strength. "You know it's not right, Tony. You know that."

"Of course I do," he snapped, "but I also know that I'm doing what has to be done, to stave off something worse. I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I was wrong about you." Tony reached out to push Steve aside, but he found a second wind and fought back, pushing himself up again and throwing solid punches that dented and scraped at the suit's exterior. The sound of hits and repulsor blasts startled you awake, and the sight of the two men tearing away at each other forced you into action.

You didn't know if it were even possible, and you were so weak, but you had to try; raising a shaky hand, you projected towards them, feeling the assault of their rage pushing back against your attempt to negate it. It was the only way that you could think to stop them. Sam was crawling to your side, watching intently as you focused.

"Come on, honey," he encouraged quietly, "you can do it."

The drain on your energy was making you dizzy, but the slowing of their punches gave you drive to go on. "Stop fighting," you commanded quietly. "Now."

Sam breathed a loud sigh of relief and rolled over onto his back, groaning in pain from the severe hit he had taken and the burnt area across his chest from the blast. Steve very slowly dropped his hands to his sides and turned to you with sadness in his expression even though you had yet to release him to his own emotions. He knew that you would run, and that he might never see you again, so he took the last chance that he had to convince you that he would protect you if you would stay, even though he felt little hope in it.

"I love you."

"I know."

~~~

It would be a few months before you talked to Steve again after that day; after you disappeared before his eyes, and feeling sure that he wouldn't try to follow. It wasn't to say that you hadn't seen him in all of that time, however. Sometimes you were in the crowd during a mission amongst civilians, providing an easy camouflage. Every now and again, you would enjoy a little undercover work, playing dress-up in HYDRA gear to take out the enemy from the inside while your former team took the thanks. Other times, like tonight, you would pop up after lights were out, just sitting in his presence as he slept, finding solace from a hard day in the soothing rhythm of his breathing.

"I know when you're here," he whispered, lying perfectly still in his bed, as if any movement would frighten you away. "I miss you when you're not."

"And here I thought I was getting away with it," you smiled to yourself, leaning forward in the chair just enough for the streetlights to catch your silhouette. They gave a warm glow to your features that quickly caught his attention.

"You're as beautiful as I remember."

"Steve..."

"(Y/N), there are so many things...so many that I wanted to say, but I didn't." He took a chance that you wouldn't flee and slowly sat up in the bed, leaning back against the headboard as he watched you. "I wanted to tell you for so long, but I suppose I was scared. Don't know why, though."

"You know that I can't stay. I can't go through that again."

"I won't let that happen."

"Thank you for what you did. I never took the time to say that."

After a few seconds the silence hung heavily and you began to feel like it was time to take your leave before he pushed any further. There was a conversation lingering that you didn't want to have, but you also didn't want to go, and he must have sensed it.

"Will you stay for a little longer? I never know when you'll come back, like each time might be the last. If you don't want to..." his voice softened and faded, and he cast his eyes to the anxiously folded hands in his lap. "It's okay, nevermind," he backpedaled, "I know you can't."

He startled when you appeared directly in front of him out of nothing, sitting on the edge of the bed at his side. You brought a hand to his cheek and paused, waiting for him to accept or deny you; his hands were quickly pulling you in, gently weaving into your hair as he took what may be the only chance he would have to kiss you. When it had become almost too much, and you worried that he might not let you go, you pulled away and rested your forehead to his.

"I do love you, Steve," you assured him quietly, giving him one final moment before disappearing from his hands, "and I'll always come back."

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top