"Hey, Buck? Your hand?"

"What about it?"

"It's on my butt," you whispered, trying your best to hold your gun steady, your target finally in your sights.

"You're the one who said you could hit any target, any time, any situation. I'm just testing that," he chuckled quietly as he lay on the ground next to you.

"I don't think normal battle conditions include distraction from your boyfriend's hand on your ass, Buck. You're not playing fair." You held your weapon tightly and curved your finger around the trigger, slowly pulling back, but startled when a firm slap from Bucky's hand connected with a sting. For the first time in as long as you could remember, you had completely missed your target.

"Who said life was fair, doll?"

Dropping your head down in frustration, you pulled your gun back and rolled to face him. "Dammit, that was the first shot I've had at this guy since we started looking for him, and you ruined it. Great work, Barnes, just great." A group of voices grew louder in the distance, becoming clearer as they came closer to where you had been hiding. "And now we have to run. I swear you're more trouble that you're worth."

Bucky stood and held his arm out for you to take the lead and bowed with a smile, "after you, my love."

Holstering your weapon, you shot him a warning glance and ran past, stopping behind a small grove of trees to listen for the direction of the team that was now searching for you. "You go that way," you whispered, pointing to a clearing on the other side of the building that you were hiding in. "I'll take this side."

"I'm not leaving you," he whispered back, his tone slightly angry that you would suggest splitting up. "We go together."

"Buck, if we split, we can take more out than we can together. Go!"

"Nope, not without you," he said with a cool resolution.

"Sounds like a lovers quarrel if you ask me." The two of you froze at the sound of the man directly behind you, followed by the familiar click of his gun being armed. "You can finish it in the truck. Move it."

You rolled your eyes and shot Bucky and annoyed glance as you stood, raising your arms and lacing your fingers behind your head. "This is on you," you mumbled. You slowly moved to stand next to the guard, waiting for any opportunity to overtake him.

"Come on, Barnes. Let's go," the man ordered. There was no reason for him to know either of your names, and now your curiosity was heightened. Bucky looked at you, confused, but taking direction from the man to join you for detainment.

"You must be a new guy," Bucky said with a smile, getting the full attention of the guard, "you've paid too much attention to me and forgot to take her weapon."

"What-"

Before he could say another word, you had pulled your weapon and shot him dead with one clean hit. "Newbies," you groaned with a shake of your head. "Now, I'm only gonna say this once. You go that way, and I'll go this way. That's an order, Barnes."

"You know how I like it when you order me around," he smirked. "Fine, boss. I'll go." He quickly rushed over to you for a quick kiss before running off to where you had directed, not looking back. If he had, he might have been able to save you before you were knocked out from behind and dragged away to captivity.

~~~

She's not accepting the process. Her mind is blocking us out.

That's not possible. Go higher.

Sir, that could destroy her brain. We're already at a maximum safe level as it is. That could cause tissue degeneration.

So be it. Either way, she can't be allowed to remember any of this life. She is a liability to Mr. Barnes, and to HYDRA.

~~~

You stood at the entrance to the Avengers tower and looked up at the impressive structure, not certain if you should even be there. Your best friend has coerced you into attending some party there because she was too chicken to go alone, and you owed her a favor.

"So what's the party about, Jess? They found some...magic stick?"

"A scepter or something, yeah. I don't know, (Y/N), I'm just here because Sam told me about it and thought I should drop by. He's gonna be too busy with Steve to talk to me, so that's why I have you." She smiled and put her arm through yours, pulling you through the door. "And it's an open bar, so what've we got to lose, right?"

"Avengers," you mumbled under your breath, "sounds a little pretentious if you ask me." You slid off your jacket and handed in at the coat check table, nervously looking around the impressive building. "We're gonna stick together, right? No running off to hang with Sam, okay? If you desert me, I leave."

"Promise." She pulled you along to the lounge, pausing to look for him. "There he is," she said, eagerly leading you to the upper level. You had only met Sam once and you knew right away that she had a bit of a crush and was using you for confidence. "Hey Sam," she called out, "you look good!"

"Tell me something I don't know," he laughed, pulling her in for a hug. "Hey, (Y/N), you look pretty great yourself! I'm glad you could make it." He turned to you for a small hug as well, motioning to Steve to introduce you. "Steve, this is (Y/N), she's a friend of Jess'."

"Ma'am," he said courteously, reaching out for your hand and bringing it to his lips for a moment, "pleasure to meet you."

"I heard you were polite, but I had no idea." You could feel your cheeks flush under the attention of the handsome Captain, and it was mildly embarrassing. "I'm just...going to grab a drink," you said with a slight uncertainty in your voice, leaving before anyone could say anything more.

As you walked through the room, your attention was caught by several conversations from various members of the team, each sounding more interesting than the last.

"I'm not even sure what country Jane's in. Her work on the convergence has made her the world's foremost astronomer."

"And the company that Pepper runs in the largest tech conglomerate on Earth. It's pretty exciting."

"I fly it right up to the general's palace, I drop it at his feet, I'm like, 'boom! You lookin' for this'?"

"How'd a nice girl like you wind up working in a dump like this?"

"Can I get a Grey Goose martini please?" As the bartender made your drink you surveyed the room, assessing the number of guests, locations of the exits, and layout of the furniture and fixtures around you. You weren't really sure why this always happened, but you found yourself doing this in any new location. Jess was still on the second level with Sam, and you spotted Steve with Thor only a few feet from you. You grabbed your drink and decided it was time to stop being so shy and mingle in a party that would likely be a once-in-a-lifetime event.

"I'll never see these people again anyway," you whispered to yourself. "Hey, Steve, mind if I join you?" He turned quickly to look at you and his expression softened, his eyes bright at the sight of you.

"Not at all. Thor, this is (Y/N), (Y/N), this is Thor. He's...not from around here," he laughed.

"I gathered that, thanks." You stood silently and watched as Thor took a small flask from his jacket and began to pour a drink for himself and grabbed another glass for his teammate.

"This was not meant for mortal men," the Asgardian laughed, handing a sample of the alcohol to Steve.

You peered over the edge of his glass and looked at him curiously as he smelled the alcohol inside. "Should I go for it?" he asked. "Or would you like to give it a try first?" He laughed slightly but turned serious when you grabbed it from his hand and swallowed the liquid in one shot. "Um...that may not have been a wise choice," he whispered.

Several minutes passed as you were closely watched by both Steve and Thor, but nothing happened. The old men around the table all began to react to their drinks and were becoming incoherent, but you had yet to feel anything. "Guess my tolerance is better than I thought," you joked, not looking back at their shocked faces as you walked away filled with a newfound confidence.

~~~

"It's a trick!"

"Please, be my guest."

One by one, each of the Avengers tried and failed at lifting Thor's hammer, lightheartedly mocking and joking with each other after each attempt. Your eyes were growing heavy, and it only now occurred to you that Jess had left you there hours ago. Your rapport with each member of the team was easy, and you never thought twice about staying when they asked you to.

"All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged."

"You bet your ass."

"Steve, he said a bad language word."

You looked at the Captain with slight grin, feeling only slightly sorry for the guy at the other end of the joke. All he could do was shake his head and laugh along, trying to make the best of it and hope that it would all go away soon.

"That's a very interesting theory. I have a simpler one. You're all not worthy."

When the ominous voice filled the room your first instinct wasn't to run or hide, but rather to face it head-on. "No," the voice growled, "how could you be worthy? You're all killers."

Steve took a few steps forward to take a protective stance in front of you, but you pushed past him and refused to be sheltered away. Reaching down slowly, you pulled your weapon from your purse and held it at your side. Living alone in the city, it was something you insisted on carrying with you, and it always felt natural in your hand for some reason.

When the fight broke out it was chaos, but one robot had you in its sights and pursued you relentlessly. Each member of the team was busy with their own fight, but you paid no mind to that, quickly disabling your assailant and assisting Steve with another. When the attack died away and calm was restored, he grabbed your arm and pulled you into one of the side rooms away from the others.

"How did you do that?" he asked, his breaths still fast and his eyes wide. "You have skills that an ordinary person shouldn't have. You can handle that weapon like you were born with it. You drank Thor's mead and didn't bat an eye." He pushed forward as he spoke, now holding you firmly against the wall. "Where did you come from? Who are you?"

"I'm no one, Steve. I don't know how to answer you."

"Bullshit. Do better."

You rolled your eyes and began to grow frustrated that he was holding you in this position. "I'm telling you the truth. I don't know how to answer you, because I don't know what answers you're looking for. This is just who I am."

"I want your full name, date of birth, social security number, all of it." He pulled out his phone and huffed in frustration when he realized that all of the Avenger's files and databases had been wiped clean. "Great. That's all we need. Okay," he huffed, "tell me everything that you do know, start from the beginning and skip nothing."

Part 2 

"Cap, I don't know. How do you know we can trust her? Just because a girl flirts with you it doesn't make her trustworthy, believe me. I know," Tony chuckled and looked to the ground, slightly embarrassed.

"I never said that I could trust her, did I?" Steve asked, watching you from across the lab as you talked with Rhodey, "but did you see how she held her own back there? We might need her for this. We can work out the rest as we go along." His head snapped back towards Tony when he realized all of what he had said, "wait, she didn't flirt? I don't know what you're talking about, Stark, and I don't really care." He turned back towards you with a curious look, still trying to decide what was happening, "there's something familiar about her, and I'm going to figure it out.

~~~

The first time you saw him was in Wakanda, standing behind Ultron with his sister. He had silver hair that was in a shaggy mess atop his head, and his blue eyes had a sleepy comfort to them, making it hard to look away; hard to focus on the task at hand of taking down the psychotic murderbot that the science bros let loose on the world.

"This is what, comfortable? Like old times?"

"This was never my life."

Wanda took a few steps closer to Pietro and you mirrored her action next to Steve, preparing for the fight to start. "This is gonna go down fast, Captain," you whispered, "and we're outnumbered." He put his hand up to silence you, his eyes darting around the room to formulate a plan of attack, counting each robot and human within sight.

"You two can still walk away from this," he said to the twins, taking a small step forward.

"Oh, we will."

"I know you've suffered," he pushed, taking yet another step, but stopping when you guardedly put your hand on his arm. His last step changed the posture of the robot that stood several feet taller than him, and you could see the twins taking on a hostile posture.

"Steve, wait," you whispered harshly.

"Captain America! God's righteous man," Ultron spat with mockery, "pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth..."

You grabbed his arm firmly now and pulled him back, feeling the muscle in his arm tighten at your touch but giving in before moving any further. "You need to calm down, Captain-"

Steve raised his shield over you both when Ultron suddenly made his move and struck out at Tony, throwing him back against the bulkhead. The smaller robots began their attack, eventually splitting you up from Steve and Thor and leaving you in front of the twins.

"I don't want to have to do this," you said, your weapon raised in front of you, "but that doesn't mean that I won't."

"You're going to have to catch me first, beautiful," Pietro chuckled with a bright smile, pausing to look at you before disappearing in a flash and a trail of light behind him.

"Shit," you mumbled to yourself, marveling at what you had just seen. You turned to Wanda, who had her hands raised at you and ready to strike. "Please, don't. I can kill you before you can do anything to me, trust that."

A red glow filled her eyes and you instinctively aimed to take your shot, but your finger never had the chance to pull the trigger back; the flash of light stopped in front of you, knocking your weapon away. Pietro stood in your line of vision, holding your gaze but saying nothing; it was only a matter of seconds but it felt like time had stopped around you. You took the opportunity and wrapped your leg around his, flipping him onto his back, but the beams of red hit your chest before you had the chance to hold him to the ground, flipping you over the railing and onto the hard ground below.

"(Y/N)!" Steve yelled, fully engaged with one of the robots and unable to help you. "Can anyone get to (Y/N)? I think she's down but I can't see her!"

"Ow, dammit," you groaned, pulling yourself up from the floor, sucking in a sharp breath at the pain in your back as you straightened your posture slowly. "I'm not down," you called out to the team, "just need a minute." You startled at a loud crash only a few feet away, ducking down to protect yourself from whatever it was that had so violently passed overhead.

"Stay down, kid."

Steve turned towards you and grabbed your arm, assessing you for any injury. You gave him a quick nod that you were okay so he would continue on, waving him away. You turned towards Pietro, quietly moaning and lying in the stack of boxes, struggling to stand. "Are you injured?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't," you replied flatly, brushing the dirt from your face. The fight had suddenly silenced and the eerie change in volume unnerved you; you turned to look back but Pietro was already gone and Clint's voice echoed in your ear.

"Anyone standing, we gotta move! Guys?"

~~~

Steve stood in the hallway just outside of the bathroom at Clint's house, waiting for you to finally emerge. You had been in there cleaning up after the battle for almost an hour, and his patience was wearing thin. It wasn't that you were avoiding him on purpose, per se, but you were avoiding the conversation. The way he was looking at you on the flight gave it away; he knew something about you that he hadn't before, and as intrigued as you were to hear it, you were just as eager to not know.

"(Y/N)," he said quietly with a firm knock on the old wooden door, "I can stand here all day. And I will if I have to."

You took one last look at yourself in the steamy mirror, wondering what you had gotten yourself into. Why did you say yes to this? A reluctant agreement to go to a party that you didn't even want to attend had turned into a battle to save the world, and you had no idea why you never considered saying no before. Taking a deep breath, you pulled the door open and stood leaning against the doorframe with your arms folded, making your best attempt at appearing closed to his inevitable questions.

"Is there something I can do for you, Steve?"

"I can't believe I didn't notice it in the fight after the party," he said in a quiet voice, staring at his feet as he spoke. 'It's so obvious to me now that I feel like an idiot for not seeing it."

"Just say it, I can handle it," you sighed, still unsure of what he was going to reveal.

He took a few steps closer to you, standing only inches away and looking down at you. "There's only one other person that I've ever known to hold their gun the way you do."

You shrugged and continued to look at him inquisitively, waiting for him to drop the point of the conversation.

"What do you know about Bucky Barnes? Or the Winter Soldier?"

"The name isn't ringing any bells," you replied, shaking your head slightly, "should it be?"

"I don't know yet, (Y/N)," he said quietly, looking at your face as if he were searching your features for the answer that he wanted, desperate to see anything that would let him know you could help him. He finally turned to walk away, looking completely dissatisfied with your answer after waiting so long for it, "I don't know."

~~~

"I'll take Natasha, Clint and (Y/N)." Steve said to Tony, securing his shield to his back. "I need to keep a close watch on her. I think she's been trained by HYDRA and we can't afford to get swept up in that right now."

Tony looked over his shoulder, eyeing you talking to Nat as you slipped on your boots, hiding a small knife in each one and securing your gun to your thigh. "So wait, we might have a fully armed HYDRA agent along for the ride? Have you completely lost your mind, Steve?"

"Possibly," he sighed, "but I don't think she realizes it. I...I asked her about Buck, if she knew the Winter Soldier, and she said no but I don't buy it." He took ahold of Tony's arm and pulled him towards the front door of the house for more privacy. "Her mannerisms, her technique, even her attitude all make me think that they worked together, or he at least trained her."

"Okay, then why are we messing around with this? It's too risky, especially now." Tony stopped at took a step back, his expression changing from confused to shocked, realizing exactly what was happening. It was completely clear to him why Steve was so insistent on keeping you at his side. "You think she can find him, don't you?"

Steve stayed silent, looking down to pull his gloves on, turning back towards the kitchen to gather his team for departure. Tony stepped in front of him to block his path, forcing Steve to look at him. "Cap, you need to keep your head in the game. It has to wait until we get this job done; it's starting to cloud your judgment."

"You have no business talking to me about judgment, Stark," Steve hissed under his breath, "Not this time."

~~~

The second time you saw him was in Seoul, after Wanda stopped the out of control train and he had saved countless civilians from its path. "I just need a minute," he panted, hunched over and trying to catch his breath.

"I'm very tempted not to give you one."

"Steve, stop," you groaned, moving to stand next to Pietro while Wanda talked to Steve, trying to convince him that he needed to stop Tony from opening the cradle that the team had just taken from Ultron. There was a small vendor stand a few feet away; you glanced around to see if anyone was looking, and when it was clear you grabbed a bottle of water and took a seat next to him.

"Here," you offered, handing it to him, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Take the damn water." You pushed it farther forward with more determination, practically forcing him to take it from your hand. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm already surrounded by stubborn men, and I don't need another one." You paused and watched as he finally drank from the bottle, glancing at you briefly. "So, that whole teaming up with a delusional robot thing didn't really pan out, huh?"

Pietro chuckled, spitting a small amount of water out and down the front of his shirt. "You might say that, I suppose. But what about you? It doesn't really feel like you fit in here." He reached out to toss the bottle into a nearby garbage and nodded towards Steve, "I think there's some tension going on between you two, no?"

"I'm only here until your platinum friend is destroyed. Steve seems to think otherwise, and he's in for quite the rude awakening. He might lead this team, but he's not my Captain."

"And Ultron is not my friend," he huffed. "He needs to be stopped before he destroys everything. This is our fault."

Watching Steve talk to Wanda, you stood and listened for any member of the team to return his call out. "Stark, come in. Stark? Anyone on comms?"

"Ultron can't tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it," she said, "where do you think he gets that?"

Steve eyed you standing next to Pietro, still unsure of if he could trust you even after you helped secure the cradle, and still desperate to know if you could help him. Tony was right, he needed to keep his head straight until the job was done, but every time he looked at you and watched you fight, all he could see was Bucky.

"Hey, time to go."

Stepping up to Steve, you cautiously glanced back at the twins, lowering your voice to keep the conversation as private as possible. "Are we taking them with us? They seem lost."

"We aren't babysitters, (Y/N), and it's their own fault that they're in this position. They knew the choices they were making."

"They want to help. They know their part in all of this." You reached up and grabbed Steve's arm, turning him towards you, "Maybe trust me on this, if nothing else. I feel like it's the right thing to do." Realizing that it was the same feeling that he had about you, and that he was putting blind faith in you, you looked up at him with a new understanding. "Does that sound familiar to you, Steve?"

All he could do was sigh and nod, knowing that you had him figured out. "Alright," he called out, looking over your shoulder at the twins, "you're with us too. Let's move out."

Pietro gave Wanda's hand a small squeeze and leaned down to whisper something to her that you couldn't hear. She gave him a silent nod and hurried to catch up to the Captain while Pietro took his place next to you. "It looks like we're on the same side now...um...I don't know your name. If we might die together, it would be sad to think that I didn't know you first."

"(Y/N)."

"I'm Pietro," he said with a surprisingly bright smile, given the gravity of the situation that you were all in.

"I know," you chuckled, "I'm painfully familiar with your work."

Part 3 

"Alright, with any luck, Stark cracked that cradle open and maybe found something to get us back on Ultron's trail to find Natasha." Steve led the three of you towards the lab but stopped suddenly when he saw that Tony had done no such thing. In fact, he had done just the opposite.

"I'm only gonna say this once."

"How about nonce?"

You turned to the twins and held your hands up to hold them back when they tried to move forward, hoping to be heard. You hadn't been around this team long enough to see a fight between the two men, but Clint had told you stories that taught you to keep your distance.

"Shut it down," Steve said sternly. "You don't know what you're doing."

They began talking in circles, one saying to stop, the other refusing, joined by Bruce who looked like he was becoming even more unsure of his own actions. Wanda pushed past you, cut off before she could make her point of what was growing inside the cradle. Finally having enough, Pietro shook his head and gave you a frustrated look, furiously running past to disconnect the tubing and wires from the machine, abruptly stopping the process.

"No, go on," he said, "what were you saying?"

The rest happened in a blur and an explosion of anger, culminating in Tony and Steve going head-to-head. You needed to make an immediate decision; which side were you on? Whatever was coming to life in that thing terrified you, and your decision was made; Steve was right. Bruce wrapped his hands around Wanda, but you heard Clint coming up the stairs next to you, holding his gun defensively, and you raised yours in kind.

"Put the gun down, Clint."

"You first, (Y/N)."

It was difficult to not look towards Steve and Tony, hearing the repulsor fire and then the crash of glass echoing through the room, but your focus was held firm on the archer. "Don't push me," you said quietly and nervously, "I don't know how I'll react. But I know that I can end this before you can even think about starting it."

"I never miss," Clint growled in voice that sounded nothing like him. You were challenging him in a situation that he didn't even want to be in, with a person he was supposed to trust. You could see the uncertainty in his grip, however, noticing the twitches in his fingers as he readjusted slightly.

"Neither do I. Put it down, Barton."

Before he could reply, the room was filled with a blinding light that stung your eyes, and energy was surging into the cradle. The fighting came to an immediate halt and you lowered your weapon, turning to watch in awe at the birth of something new.

~~~

"So, tell me, (Y/N), you don't seem like you're comfortable here. How is it that you came to be with this group?" Pietro asked, taking a seat next to you on the quinjet. The team was now on the way to Sokovia for a confrontation with Ultron, his own creation now fighting on your side rather than his.

"I got coerced into going to a party that I didn't want to attend, because my best friend has a crush on a guy," you said with an exasperated breath. "Then I got stuck in the middle of a fight with a bunch of robots, unfortunately caught Steve's attention, and here I still sit." As you spoke, you casually loaded each of your weapons and secured them in several areas throughout your uniform, acting like it was just another day. "He thinks I'm hiding something; that there I know where to find someone that he's looking for. I tell ya though, I must be really great at hiding whatever information it is, because I don't even know what it would be."

"What has he said to you about it?" Pietro asked, continuing the conversation to keep you at his side.

"He's looking for some guy named Bucky...Barnes? I think he said the Winter Soldier, or something like that?"

Pietro felt an unease come over him at the name, straightening his posture and now looking physically uncomfortable. "(Y/N), he's a HYDRA assassin. When Wanda and I were in the lab, I remember hearing those names in conversations and in passing. He sounded terrifying from the little information we heard. You don't want to get in the middle of this."

"I think I do," you whispered, scooting as close to him as you could, leaning in to keep your voices down. Steve was standing only a few feet away, talking to Tony, and you didn't want to catch his interest. "I need to find out why he thinks I know him. If I do, then what the hell happened to my memory of it? Am I not this person that you see here now?"

He reached out and took one of your hands into his, watching them as he spoke now, "this may be difficult to hear, (Y/N). Do you really want to do this now, before we go to fight?"

"Yes, I need to know before I go into a battle that we may not win."

"There were others with us and in other bases that were working with mental manipulations and memory experimentation. You told me that Steve saw skills in you that you didn't realize you had, and a familiarity in your technique to the soldier, so what if you were one of those people, (Y/N), and you were meant to forget?" Pietro squeezed your hand when he noticed your face getting pale and feeling a slight tremor in the fingers that were now intertwined with his. "Hey, are you okay? Do I need to get the Captain?"

"No," you whispered in a nearly inaudible voice, clearing your throat to try again, "no, I'm okay." You shook your head and decisively pushed the thoughts from your mind and became determined to focus only on the battle you were entering. This would have to wait. "We can talk more after."

He looked down at your hands once more, running the fingers of his free hand over yours. "I would like to talk much more, (Y/N), if you want to. Maybe...over dinner?"

"I would like that very much, Pietro. It's a date."

~~~

The last time you saw him was in his final seconds. You watched as he died a hero, but it did nothing to take the sting away; the pain of loss hit you hard and fast. Dropping to your knees as you watched Steve lift his lifeless form from the ground, you wouldn't allow yourself to believe it. He was the first real friend you were making here since this whole thing began, and even during battle all you could think of was the invitation he had made as you arrived in this dammed place.

"(Y/N), we gotta move! This rock could drop at any second!" Steve grabbed your arm and pulled you from the ground, practically lifting you as your muscles refused to cooperate. He sat you in a chair and ran back to check for any more survivors, barely making it to his own safety, jumping when the ground beneath him gave way and the enormous chunk of land began to fall.

Steve stood next to you and rested his hand on your shoulder, doing his best to be supportive when he knew that you expected him to be the last in that position. "Are you okay?"

His voice sounded like it was miles away, faintly echoing in your mind, and it didn't even occur to you to answer him. Seeing someone die was traumatic enough, but to see someone who you felt like you were connecting with and could maybe even love one day made it almost unbearable.

There was something in this battle that opened a darkness inside of you; a coldness that you allowed to grow quickly now. What reason was there to stop it? You weren't really a member of this team, Steve wasn't sure if he could trust you, even now, and Pietro's words had you questioning who you were. Closing yourself down to any more pain felt like the only option.

"Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?" Steve asked again, taking a step back to kneel next to you.

"When we get back to the tower, I'm leaving," you said, staring blankly ahead, "your fight is over, so you have no use for me anymore."

He hesitantly reached forward to put his hand on yours, unsure if it were the right thing to do, but took the chance. He pulled it back quickly when you did the same, sighing and looking out into the sky in front of you. "It's not about us having a use for you, and I'm sorry that I made it feel that way. I would like it if you'd stay."

"Why?" you asked, finally looking at him, your voice filled with anger now. "Because you still need me to help you find your lost friend, don't you? Because you think we were old HYDRA buddies and you can use me to get to him. Well, I'll tell you what, Steve. You can take any idea you have about me helping you, and shove it. Even if I knew where Bucky was, I wouldn't lead you to him. He's better off staying far away from this freak show."

Steve stood up and stepped back, crossing his arms over his chest in an angry stance that matched the change in his tone of voice. "I think maybe this isn't the time to talk about this. A lot has happened today, and we should just table this for another time."

"There isn't going to be another time, Steve. I'm done." You stood now too, bringing yourself as close as you could to him without actual contact. Before today you had felt slightly intimidated by the Captain, but that feeling was now gone. "Before I came here, I was good. I was living a normal life. But now, in the span of less than a week, I don't know who I am. I enjoyed destroying every one of those things out there, and felt thirsty for more. I did things that I didn't even know I could do."

"But what if that wasn't your life? You're anything but normal, (Y/N)."

"And that's better?" you yelled, getting the attention of everyone on the boat and creating an odd silence around you. In your peripheral vision you could see Clint stand and watch cautiously as the conversation escalated. "What would you give to have a normal life, Steve? Don't lie to yourself, you know that you would walk away from this if given the chance. Thanks to you," you spat, poking him harshly in the chest, "I'll never have that again."

He reached up and grabbed your hand at the first contact, twisting your arm behind your back with a strength that you weren't expecting. Clint was making his move towards you but didn't make it before you had thrown Steve to the floor of the boat, digging your boot into his shoulder as you stood over him. You looked down at your shaking hands and could feel your heart racing, your breaths quick and shallow. Realizing what you had done, you pulled your foot off of him and took several steps away, Clint arriving to hold you back. "I'm sorry," you whispered, "I didn't expect...I don't know how...why..."

Steve sat up, but didn't stand, bringing his knees up to rest his arms over them. "Let us help you," he said quietly, wringing his hands together and avoiding your eyes. "If I'm supposed to find Bucky, then I will, and that's on me. But let me help you now, (Y/N). We owe you," he paused, looking up at you with a sad expression, "I owe you."

~~~

In the months that followed, you slowly began to feel a part of the team, training, learning, and starting to pull yourself from the traumas felt in Sokovia. You never expected that Wanda would be one of your main sources of support, given that she obviously felt the greatest pain with the loss of her brother, but she quickly became one of your closest friends.

Another completely unexpected surprise was your friendship with Steve. When he said that he owed you, he took it to heart and worked hard to keep his promise of helping you. With all of the time you spent together, the friendship was built naturally, and you found that you had more in common than you realized. Things were going well, and you had finally accepted your place in this new life.

And then it all began to unravel, again.

"(Y/N), I found him," Steve said from the other end of the phone, "Sam and I have Bucky, but we need your help."

"Tell me."

He sighed and paused for a moment, the silence making you anxious. "Before you agree, you need to know that this is going to change everything. I can't come back there after this, and I need you on my side. There are people coming for him right now and I can't let that happen."

In the background of the conversation, you heard a familiar and urgent voice from your past, stirring a long-lost pain inside of you.

"You have (Y/N)? Steve, is that (Y/N)?"

"Buck," you whispered, knowing that you knew him, and that this was the right thing to do. This was going to be as much for Steve as it was going to be for you.

"Steve, you know that I'm with you. Tell me what you need."