Warning: Abusive relationship, terrorizing

"You still got that boyfriend?"

"You still got that attitude about it?"

Bucky looked at you with a smirk and took a drink from his coffee, "always, doll. The guy doesn't deserve you."

"You're biased," you sighed. You had gone through this with your best friend so many times that the conversation was now nothing more than rehashing the same content over and over.

"No," he said, leaning into the small café table, closing the gap between you to make the conversation more private. "I'm right. I just can't shake the feeling that there's something you're not telling me. I'm pretty intuitive, ya know."

It was time to call him out. He had been pushing this issue for months, and you wanted to get to the bottom of it. "So am I, and I think you're jealous." You held his eye contact as he sat back again, now looking visibly uncomfortable. He reached in his pocket and pulled out several bills, throwing them on the table and standing to leave.

"Really?" you scoffed, "did I offend you or something?"

"I'll...uh...I'll talk to you later, (Y/N)," he mumbled. You watched in shock as he turned and walked away, leaving you alone to let your mind wander and race to figure out what had just happened. You obviously struck a nerve, and if you were right, this opened up a whole new problem that you had no idea of how to solve.

~~~

Bucky didn't remember the walk back to the tower being this long. He stopped on the sidewalk and spun around, looking at his surroundings and groaning as he realized that he had walked in the completely wrong direction and was pretty much lost. Leaning up against the old brick building next to him, he reluctantly pulled out his phone and called for a little help, shaking his head at his own absentmindedness.

"Hey, man. What's going on?"

Bucky raised his hand over his eyes and tried to rub the embarrassment away, quietly relenting to the fact that he needed to get his head straight before he really screwed something up. "Steve, you ain't gonna believe this...but I'm kinda...lost."

His friend didn't make any attempt to hide his laughter, but when it wasn't returned it was quickly silenced. "Okay, just tell me what street you're on and I'll be on my way."

"Um, Prospect Street? Wait..." Bucky looked around and the surroundings began to make sense. "Well, would ya look at that? I guess I'm in Brooklyn."

"Jesus, Buck! Did you completely forget crossing that really big river? It's kinda hard to miss." He could hear Steve sigh on the other end of the line, knowing he was getting concerned. "Okay, whatever's going on, we're gonna talk about it when I get there. Stay put."

~~~

Walking back to your apartment was slow and deliberate, taking each step with purpose, knowing that when you got home you wouldn't be able to be alone with your thoughts, and he would demand your attention. Like he always did. Maybe Bucky was right; if you didn't look forward to seeing him, then maybe he wasn't right for you.

Sure, you loved the guy, and had been together for a couple of years now, but were you in love with him anymore? The fun and lightheartedness that was so abundant in the beginning had died away long ago, and each day had become routine, sad, and a little angry. Moments of joy were few and far between, but you were still connected.

He didn't mean to push you around, you rationalized. There had to be something you were doing wrong. Love was supposed to be easy, right? Our minds have the unfair and unpleasant tendency to take us to the negative and make us believe that we are in the wrong, and this time was no different. You believed it and took fault for the situation.

You stopped in front of your building, sighing as you looked up at the windows of your apartment. Closing your eyes, you entertained a fleeting thought and tried to think of how it would feel if you were coming home to Bucky. You never looked at your best friend this way until today, when he tipped the world on its side. A smile crossed your lips and a laugh shook from your chest at the thought.

"You gonna just stand out there like an idiot or are you coming in?"

"Awesome," you mumbled, your brief moment of happiness dashed once again. You dragged your feet towards the door, feeling fatigue in your legs. Perhaps Bucky was right; it was time to make a choice.

~~~

"Alright, spill it."

Bucky dropped into the seat next to Steve, pausing to look around the luxury vehicle he was driving in awe. "Damn, Steve. When did you get this?"

"Ha! You really think this is mine? Did you hit your head today or something? This is Stark's, I'm just borrowing it to pick up your lost ass," he chuckled.

Bucky leaned towards the passenger window, resting his head in his hand and watching as they crossed back over the river into Manhattan. "Women," he sighed quietly. "That's all you need to know, pal."

Steve nodded silently in agreement. "Is it (Y/N) again? She still got that boyfriend?"

"Hmph," he snorted, "what do you think? If she didn't, do you think I'd be sitting here?"

"Wouldn't you?"

Bucky's head snapped up and he looked at Steve with a confused expression. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Buck. If (Y/N) were available right now, would you even do anything about it? You've been out of your mind for this girl for forever, but not once have you done anything. I've never known you to be scared."

He was right, Bucky was scared for the first time, but it was only because he didn't want to be rejected and then lose your friendship over it. He thought he was doing the right thing by holding back, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that you were hiding something from him. Maybe today was the day.

Bucky had been silent for several minutes as the street signs and buildings quickly passed by, watching blankly as he thought about his next move. "Buck?"

"Hey, can you drop me off somewhere?"

~~~

When Bucky reached your door and his hand connected to it when he tried to knock, it creaked open slightly. He took a step back, his nerves building and his protective instincts taking over. He knew that he would easily be able to overtake any intruder, but he also knew that he would kill anyone who tried to hurt you without hesitation or a second thought. He extended his hand and thrust the door open, stepping inside urgently, but stopping abruptly when he saw you slowly pushing yourself up from the floor.

"What the hell happened, (Y/N)," he panted, looking around the room as he stood over you as a shield. "Are you okay? Did someone break in? Are you hurt?"

"Buck, calm down, I'm fine," you whispered, putting your hand to his chest and pushing him back slightly. "I'm fine," you said again, dropping yourself heavily on the couch with a huff, leaning forward to hold your head in your hands so he couldn't see the humiliation on your face. "What are you doing here?"

"That's not important right now, (Y/N). Tell me what's going on."

"I'm fi-"

"No," he scolded angrily, "don't you dare tell me that you're fine when I can see that you're not!"

You recoiled away from him, raising your arm defensively over your head and your eyes squeezed shut tightly. You sucked in a harsh and shaky breath, waiting for his angry outburst, but it never came. You slowly lowered your arm and looked at him, completely embarrassed. His face was filled with shock and sadness, and then the realization of what he was seeing.

"I knew it," he whispered to himself. "I knew it." He stood up without another word to you and began towards the door; you heard the metal joints in his left arm seize and shift as his body tensed. You jumped up and grabbed him, desperate to keep him there with you, knowing what he was capable of.

"Buck, please don't. Please," you pleaded, "you're just going to make it so much worse."

"How can it get any worse?" He glanced at you and grabbed his phone from his pocket, frantically typing something, and you could only assume he was getting the team and a plan in place. "(Y/N), this ends right now. There's nothing you can say that will stop me."

You were getting more afraid by the second, and you knew that he was right. There was nothing you could say that would stop him; this called for dramatic measures. You reached up and pulled his face towards yours, kissing him desperately and urgently. Responding with an equal feeling, his phone dropped from his hands and he spun you around to hold you against the wall, his mouth eager to connect and realize the moment that he had waited so long for. But then suddenly, he stopped and pulled away, taking a step back.

"(Y/N), you're trying to distract me. This isn't fair."

"I'm not," you said breathlessly, "well...okay, I am, but it's not like that. I've thought a lot about this. This isn't a ploy, Buck, I swear."

He wouldn't meet your gaze after stepping back, and continued to look at the floor, his fingers tracing over his lips. "Your timing is awful, (Y/N)."

"Why?"

"Kissing a beautiful lady doesn't really get my head in the game when I need to murder someone," he chuckled, finally looking up at you. "My head is nowhere near the idea of murder, trust me."

You could feel your body relax at the sound of his quiet laughter, hoping that the threat was gone. Taking a step towards him, you put your hand on his and gave it a squeeze. "Well that's a relief. How about instead of that plan, we go with mine? Let me handle this, the right way, and you just be there when I need you."

"But, (Y/N), what if he-"

"Well then," you interrupted and said with a smirk, "we'll just call your way plan B."

Part 2

After a long, hot shower, you felt much better but completely exhausted. The rollercoaster of emotions that hit you throughout the day drained you, and you looked forward to finally crawling into bed to sleep the whole thing away.

Wiping the steam from the shower off of the mirror, you looked at your reflection and saw a difference already. You looked calmer and happier now that your boyfriend was an ex, and that you and Bucky had finally told each other how you felt. Your mood shifted when you pulled the towel away, seeing bruises on your arms and a few just below your neck, still bright from earlier that evening. There was no way that you could let Bucky see them, now that you had convinced him that murder wasn't the best plan in this situation.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

You quickly threw on your robe and peeked your head out of the bathroom door, hearing tools being thrown around just outside. "What's up?" you called out.

"I fixed your door. I might have added a few extra locks, hope that's okay."

You rolled your eyes and sighed, stepping into the living room to see his handiwork. He looked proud as he stood next to the door, but you could only laugh at the excessiveness that had come from his worry.

"Do you really think I need three deadbolts? Not everyone can rip a door off its hinges like you can, you know?"

His face became suddenly serious, looking at you with no humor at all in his expression. "If anyone rips this door off its hinges, I'll rip off their arms."

"Okaaay, I think we've all had a big day, and we should get some sleep." You took a few steps towards him to see him out, but he moved further into the room and began to set up the couch for sleep. "Um, what are you doing?"

"I'm not leaving."

"Buck, you don't have to do that. You can go home."

"I'm not leaving," he said again, his tone unchanged.

"Fine," you sighed, "but you're not staying on the couch. You'll have the worst headache of your life when you wake up."

He looked at you quizzically, turning around and searching the room for where else he could lie down. "I guess I could take the floor?"

"Come on," you grabbed his arm and led him towards your room, "you're with me."

"Woah, wait," he planted his feet and held his place, "what? What...?"

"Settle down, it's not like that. We sleep, we wake up tomorrow, and you see that I'm fine to stay here." You held out your hand again, waiting for him to take it. "Deal?"

He looked at you for a moment, considering your offer, finally shrugging his shoulders for lack of a better plan. "If you say so," he mumbled, reluctantly taking your hand.

~~~

"You awake?"

"Why would you possibly think I would be asleep?" you whispered.

Bucky shifted his weight on his side of the bed, being overly cautious to make absolutely no physical contact with you whatsoever. He was lying stiff as a board, his eyes darting around the ceiling to avoid looking at you. You turned to look at him and couldn't help but laugh at his awkwardness. He looked back and joined his laughter to yours.

"Oh, Buck. We've slept next to each other dozens of times, so why is this so weird now?"

"Well, for one, Steve isn't here this time. And...it's different...I'm...nervous," he stammered.

You rolled to your side to face him, but maintained your boundaries since he was so clearly uncomfortable. "Why? Why are you nervous now, but never before?" You fought the urge to put your hand on his arm to reassure him, settling for resting your hand next to his to allow him the option of taking it.

He rolled to his side and mimicked your position and you felt his hand slide over yours and his fingers intertwining. "You know why, (Y/N)," he whispered.

Inching closer to him slightly you touched his cheek and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, pulling back before he could reciprocate. You weren't ready for that just yet, but would be soon enough. "Relax," you said as you pushed yourself against him and lifted his arm over you. "Sleep."

When you felt his arms tighten around you and pull you even closer, you smiled to yourself and knew that you were the safest you had been in as long as you could remember.

~~~

When you woke in the morning, Bucky wasn't next to you. Rolling over you grabbed your phone to check the time, groaning at the realization that it was only 6am and cursing at the sun for being so brave as to wake you already. You were just about to throw the blankets back over your head but paused when you heard his voice in the living room. For just a moment you considered texting him so that you could stay in bed, but knew that you would never hear the end of it, so you forced yourself up to drag yourself out to see what he was up to.

"Hey, good morning sleepyhead."

"It is 6am, Buck. 6am."

"Sorry," he chuckled, "Steve has us up at 5am everyday to train. I guess I'm just used to it.'

"That's inhumane," you yawned. "But hey, if you need to go train, go ahead, I'm fine."

"What, so you can go back to bed?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Actually, it is." His smile widened as he drank the last of the juice in his glass. "I've got plans for you. Get dressed, something comfortable." When you opened your mouth to protest he put up his hands to stop you. "Nope. We're doing this. Get dressed."

~~~

You found yourself standing in the middle of the gym at the tower with Steve and Bucky talking quietly enough so that you couldn't hear. Whatever the topic, they looked pretty serious and it definitely had grabbed your interest. You had an idea of what their plan was for the day, but little did they know that you had completely different plans of your own.

"So, boys? Are we going to get started anytime soon? I did have things to do today."

"Is that so," Steve smirked, giving his friend a slap to the arm before he turned and walked towards you. "Well, I'm sorry to take up so much of your time, (Y/N)."

Bucky cleared his throat and laughed quietly, taking a seat on a nearby bench. You planted your feet firmly, fully expecting Steve to lunge at you at any moment, certainly trying to catch you off guard and begin a long and dry speech about being able to defend yourself. There was no other reason for you to be here.

You glanced at Bucky purposefully long enough for Steve to notice, taking the opportunity just as you had assumed that he would. He took a long step towards you, allowing you ample room to hook your foot behind his leg and strike your elbow to his throat before he fell back. He rolled over to stand but you were fast enough to pull his arms back to lose his stability and hold your knee firmly into his spine.

"Oh, man," Bucky gasped, now standing on the sidelines, his mouth agape and his eyes full of surprise. "That was kinda hot."

"So Steve," you said, leaning over to look at his face, still pressed firmly into the mat, "did you have any questions for me?"

~~~

Once had finally convinced Bucky that you could handle yourself and that he really could let you go on with your day alone, you were able to enjoy a few hours of peace. The normally mundane tasks on your list were becoming enjoyable, knowing that you could do them on your own time, in your own way, and with no one to answer to if you were home late or if you didn't do something to their liking. You could really learn to love this new independent thing. Even grocery shopping had a new appreciation for you, realizing this as you slowly walked through aisle after aisle, choosing each item with a deliberate focus of being just for you. It felt strange to enjoy a bit of selfishness, but you would adapt.

One thing you hadn't counted on, however, was that now you had to carry your haul up the stairs to your apartment alone. "I didn't think this through," you mumbled to yourself, preparing yourself to take the six flights with bag after bag lining your arms. With a deep breath, you steeled your resolve and made your way.

"That...was...a mistake..." you gasped, fumbling your keys in your hand, struggling to open the door from the fatigue that all but incapacitated your arms. Once in, you dropped the bags to the floor of your kitchen with a heavy thud, standing back to admire your ability to have made it up here in one trip.

The sun had begun to set, so you turned on a few lights and glanced around the room, feeling like you were missing something. You took a few steps into the living room, but at a quick glance everything was there; same in the bathroom and your bedroom. "That's weird," you whispered to yourself, quickly dismissing the feeling as you began to put your purchases away.

"What the hell?" you gasped, opening the cupboards to find all of the boxes and cans turned around so the labels faced away. You opened the refrigerator and found the same. You spun around and moved into the living room, a chill running down your spine to see your movies turned and your pictures facing away. The bedroom was the same, and when you looked in the bathroom you pulled the shower curtain open and stepped back in fear at what you saw.

Written in your favorite red lipstick was "Sleeping alone tonight?" scrolled across the shower wall. You ran out and turned on every light in your home, closed every curtain, and grabbed the largest knife you could find in the kitchen. Moving from closet to closet, you made sure they were empty and that your apartment held only you. Despite that knowledge, you curled into a blanket on the couch, knife in hand, and proceeded to spend a sleepless night filled with fear.

~~~

"What's going on?"

"Hmm?" you hummed, staring at the meal on your plate and absentmindedly pushing the food around with your fork. You were exhausted after a long night and it was an oversight that you had forgotten to cancel this lunch date with Bucky.

"I said, what's going on?"

Your mind finally snapped back to the moment, looking up to see him leaning so close to you that you almost touched. "Nothing...nothing," you said, shaking your head. "I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night."

Bucky leaned back and gave you a skeptical look, "Why would that be? I've seen you sleep, (Y/N). You can fall asleep anywhere, anytime. You sleep like the dead and wake up about as easily."

"Really, it's nothing, Buck. Let it go." You sleep like the dead. You closed your eyes and tried to push his words out of your mind, finding them particularly unsettling today. "Just a long night. I haven't slept alone in a long time, I suppose." It was a lie, but it was all you could come up with.

"Alright," he relented. "So, Steve was pretty impressed by you yesterday. I didn't know that you already knew self-defense. When did that happen?"

"Right about the time I started hanging out with assassins and Avengers. I can't imagine that you guys attract the best kind of people."

"Touché"

Glancing around the small outdoor café, you tried to not be too obvious that you were looking for him, seeing if you were being watched. It was a terrible feeling, the paranoia and fear, and it made you angry that he was putting this on you. A part of you wanted to tell Bucky what was going on, but you knew that he would become too protective and all but suffocate you with it. It was a fine line you were walking, with limited options other than to fall off.

"Hey Buck, can we do this some other time? I'm just not hungry today, and I have something I need to do."

"You're lying to me." He threw down his fork and sat up straight in his chair, his face turning serious with a hint of anger. "(Y/N), stop lying to me, dammit!"

His tone of voice made you jump in your chair and reflexively push it back and away from him. You stood up quickly and excused yourself, heading out the door and down the sidewalk before he had a chance to realize what had happened and the glaring mistake that he had just made.

~~~

It was another long walk home and your feet were killing you. You had been awake for almost 30 hours now and all you wanted was to sleep; so much so that you realized that Bucky was right. You could lie down on the sidewalk and fall asleep right now.

The six flights of stairs felt like a hundred as you pulled yourself along by the railing, but you had made it to your door, opening it without thought...and without the need for your keys.

"Hey, baby. I made you dinner. Oh, I had to take those new locks off the door that your friend added. My key didn't fit."

~~~

Bucky left the café completely confused and angry with himself. He knew that you had been through something terrible and terrifying, and it had only been a few days since you had gotten out of it, but he kept screwing up. He wanted to be your friend, your protector, even the one that you would love, but if he couldn't pull it together, that would never happen.

He also knew that you were hiding something from him, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He grabbed his phone and took a deep breath, hoping that his friend would have better insight than what he was coming up with. "Hey man, I need your help."

"You lost again?" Steve chuckled.

"Shut it, punk. No, I'm not...lost," he paused, looking around at his surroundings just to be sure, "no, not lost. I need some advice though, about (Y/N). I'm really screwing up, Steve. The girl's been through a lot, and I guess I don't know how to do right by her. On top of that, I feel like she's hiding something again, but I don't want to push her."

"And you're asking me?"

"Yeah? Who else am I gonna ask?"

"In a city of millions, you ask the guy with the least amount of experience on the subject. Can't imagine why you're screwing this up, Buck."

Bucky huffed and shook his head, stopping to look up at your building. He hadn't originally planned on coming here, but it was the only place he wanted to be. "Thanks, man. Knew I could count on you."

He hung up the phone and made his way to your door, pausing to gather his thoughts so that he wouldn't say or do the wrong thing again. He reached for the handle but paused and cocked his head to the side, noticing that the three deadbolts that he added were gone, leaving holes in your door.

His demeanor immediately changed and his eyes darkened; he flexed his metal arm and grabbed his gun hidden in his jacket, quietly unlocking the safety. He slowly bent down to look through the openings in the wood, but couldn't see you or anyone else. He reached forward to take the handle again, but before he could push it open, a gunshot rang out from inside your apartment.

Bucky pushed the door open and charged in, stopping quickly at the sight of your gun now aimed at him, and you shaking and panicked behind it. He dropped his own weapon on the ground and put his hands up for you to see.

"(Y/N), it's just me. Put it down, honey."

You could hear his voice, and you knew it was him, but you were frozen in place. His words weren't making any sense and your head was spinning. Between the fatigue, the panic and the shock of what you had done, you were completely shattered.

"(Y/N), listen to me. I need you to give me that, okay?" He took a few steps forward, cautiously and slowly. "Give me the gun, sweetheart. It's okay." He took a few more steps, and seeing that you weren't making any moves to attack him, he reached out and pulled the weapon from your hands without any resistance.

When your legs gave out he caught you, lowering you to the floor and pulling you next to him. "I've got you, (Y/N), it's okay," he whispered into your hair. "I'm gonna take care of this. You're okay." He pulled out his phone and texted Steve, hoping he would arrive before any of your neighbors became too nosy.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, "I didn't know what else to do."

He finally looked to his left, seeing the results of your actions, trying to not say anything about how impressive he found your aim. "So, we're gonna go with plan B then?"