It was 1:02pm. Your best friend since childhood was supposed to meet you at the tower at 1pm. It wasn't so much that she was late, because that was barely even true; it was that you hadn't seen her in over a year, and this moment couldn't come soon enough. Steve had promised that you could have the day to yourself so you could catch up and have 'a girly day or whatever', in his own eloquent words. Finally, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

I'm at the door. I'm nervous. I don't know if I can come up there.

Simmons, get your ass in here.

They're in there, aren't they?

They want to meet you.

...

If you aren't up here in two minutes, I'm sending Steve after you. I know he's your fave.

I hate you.

"Alright, you guys, she's on her way up." Looking specifically at Tony, you were still addressing the team, but with mostly him in mind. "Please, please behave. She's already nervous enough."

Tony feigned a look of shock that you would think he would make any trouble. "What is she so nervous about? And why do you keep pointing at me?"

"You know full well why, Stark. Besides," you paused to face Steve with a smirk on your lips, "this one is her favorite." Moving in front of the Captain, you bent down to look face-to-face and put your hand on his chin. "Must be the eyes...or the hair...or the chiseled jaw..." you ran a hand over his arm, "or the muscles."

His eyes were wide, the sandwich he was eating now held in his mouth from the shock of your attention on him. "W-whuf do oou meam?"

"Cap, it's not polite to talk with your mouth full." You released him when you finally heard the doors of the elevator open, revealing your friend, who looked just a bit terrified to be there.

"Hello, (Y/N). Um, I made it." Jemma slowly stepped from the lift, hesitant and restrained in her movements. You ran to her, grabbing her in a tight hug that tipped her off her footing.

"Finally! God, I've missed you! How have you been?! What have you been up to?! Where have you been?!"

"So, are you gonna introduce us to this 'light of your life' or what?" You could feel her heart begin to race as Clint spoke. If she focused on you she was able to forget that she was in a room surrounded by superheroes, and she could control her nerves.

You grabbed her hand and nodded towards the group, quickly pulling her along behind you as you joined them. "Everyone, this is my brilliant friend, Jemma Simmons. Jemm, this is everyone. I assume you know them all, right?"

"Are you kidding?! Of course I do!" Her eyes darted towards Steve and her cheeks rapidly grew red. "I mean...um...yes, I have read the bios on each of you...yes."

In your peripheral vision, you could see Steve stand and walk slowly towards the two of you. He was up to something; you could see the twinkle in his eye from across the room. You gave a knowing glance to Natasha, a quiet laugh building in your chest.

"Ma'am." Steve's eyes met hers as he gently reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips. His voice had lowered an octave, and he spoke quietly as if she were the only one in the room. He could be so smooth when he wanted to be, but you weren't sure if this was for her benefit or for his own. "It really is a pleasure to meet you."

Jemma's mouth was open but there were no sounds coming out. She cleared her throat and tried to take a deep breath. "The pleasure is...all mine...Captain Rogers."

"Please, call me Steve."

"S-S-Steve."

"Okaay," you finally interrupted, "as much fun as this is, we have plans." She kept looking back as you led her to the elevator. For someone who was scared to come up there in the first place, she sure was willing to stay there now.

Once the elevator doors closed, she elatedly jumped at you, shaking you by the arms. "Oh my god, (Y/N)! Did you see that?!"

"Yeah, Jemm, everyone saw that," you laughed.

"I can't wait to tell Coulson that Captain America actually flirted with-" Realizing what she had just done, her eyes were immediately full of shock at her own mistake. Her mouth closed as she lowered her head, evading your eyes.

"Simmons, what the hell did you just say?"

~~~

"You expect me to keep a secret like this?! How can you even ask that of me, Jemma?"

"(Y/N), please, they can't know!" She was pacing across the floor of your room now, terrified that you would run and tell the team this massive secret. "Oh, they are surely going to kill me," she mumbled under her breath. "Oh, this is bad. This is really bad."

You sat on the edge of your bed, still in disbelief that Phil Coulson, the man who brought you to this team, the man whom you mourned like he was your own father, was alive after all this time. It was hard to decide if you were angry, betrayed, thrilled, or just in shock. Your feelings were all of these things, and you were overwhelmed by the fear of how the team would react, particularly Tony. He had taken it the hardest, and would likely take this news the worst. Maybe she was right. Would it really be better not to say anything? Really, it wasn't your place to reveal this, it was Phil's.

"I want to contact him."

"What?! No. No, (Y/N), you can't."

"Ugh, dammit." Steve was calling at the worst possible time. Grabbing your phone, you stepped out into the hall for privacy as well as to get your mind together from the information you had just learned. "Hi, Steve. What's up?"

"We need to go. I know I promised you a day off, but I'm gonna need you on this one. I'm sorry."

Frustrated, you closed your eyes and let out a small groan as you rubbed your forehead. "It's ok, actually. Plans have changed anyway." Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you stormed into your own room to gather your gear.

"Change of plans. The team just got called. You can stay here if you want, it didn't sound like it should take long." You brushed past her towards the door, not stopping to say goodbye.

"(Y/N)-"

You slammed the door shut before she could say any more.

~~~

When the jet finally landed again at the tower, Jemma had been waiting in the common room, trying to be inconspicuous. She was jolted into attention as Thor stormed down the hallway.

"Where is that friend of (Y/N)'s?" He was calling back to Steve, who was carrying you, limp in his arms. Natasha was supporting Clint as he stumbled behind. "She knows medicine, does she not?" Spotting her thru the window, Thor burst thru the doors, nearly taking them off their hinges. "We need your help. Immediately." He quickly ran after you with Jemma following close behind.

"Put her on the table, there. Mr. Barton on that one."

"I'm fine, just focus on her," he groaned as he sat on a nearby chair.

"She's barely breathing. Um...okay...." She looked as if she were searching her mind, trying to keep her emotions at bay. "Tony, push that cart over here. I need to put in a breathing tube. Steve, that machine right there; push it next to her head and turn it on. Thor, please restrain her arms and legs; once I put this down her throat, if she wakes, she is going to fight us."

As she skillfully placed the breathing tube, the team was watching anxiously for you to wake, or move, or just...something. The machine was now breathing for you as she moved to attend to your wounds. "What happened to her?"

"She is not waking."

Jemma took a breath, looking at Thor. "It may take time. You can release her now."

He released your legs, but continued to hold one of your hands as she worked. "We were ambushed. I neglected to protect her. I am at fault for this."

After an hour of focused work in a silent room, your friend stepped back from the table that was holding your beaten body. She turned to wash the dried blood from her hands; your blood that had infiltrated the pores of her pale skin. "The last things we said were in anger," she murmured to herself. She dried her hands, wringing the cloth roughly, as if to remove the memory of the work they had done. Jemma turned back to the team, everyone thoroughly exhausted.

"Now we wait."

~~~

I've done all I can, Phil.

Do more.

She closed her phone and rested her head in her hands. She had stayed at the tower for a week, waiting for you to improve. There would be moments that looked promising, only to return to this limbo of uncertainty. Coulson said to do more, but there was no more that she could do.

"Hey, if you need to go, I can keep you updated." Steve rested his hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move at his touch.

"I can wait a bit longer. Thank you, though."

He waited in silence with her for a few minutes before taking his leave. Jemma stood next to you now, leaning in close to whisper, hoping and praying that you would hear her.

"If you wake up, (Y/N), I'll give you his number."

Nothing.

"Worth a shot, right?" She was about to leave when your ventilator began to alarm, and you began to cough loudly against the tube. Before she could stop you, your hands reached up and pulled it out, making you cough even more until tears were in your eyes.

"Sweetheart, calm down. Shhh." Jemma managed to hold oxygen to your face until you had calmed, and were now breathing on your own, though ragged and raspy. "Oh...hello! I've been waiting for you!" She threw her arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

"Yeah," you weakly laughed, "I'll do anything to win an argument."

Part 2

How did you get this number, (Y/N)?

I'm not at liberty to divulge that, Phil.

I already know.

Then why the hell did you ask?

"You're talking to him, aren't you? Is he mad?" Jemma was checking your vital signs as you texted, clearly more focused on how Phil was reacting rather than how your healing was progressing. "He's going to kick me off the team for this, (Y/N). I hope you know that."

"No, he's not. You need to calm down." You took a quick glance at her, but turned back to your phone before she saw you. "I'm going to ask to see him."

Her frustration with you was clear on her face as she threw her hands up in defeat. "I told you already, he won't go along with it. Not as long as you are a part of this team."

Don't be mad at her. It was Cap's fault.

How could it possibly be his fault?

He flirted with her and she got flustered.

Wait, he flirted? With Simmons?

"Hey," she snapped as she removed your monitors and IV lines, "stop texting him! I'm trying to release you here, you could maybe pay attention."

"I think he's jealous that Cap flirted."

"Oh, god, (Y/N), you told him that?!" Jemma's face turned red as she covered it with both hands, embarrassed at the revelation. "I'm never going to live this down. Why would you tell him? I swear, this trip just gets better and better."

I want to see you.

No.

Don't make me say it, Coulson.

No.

I'll tell them.

You were too interested in waiting for a reply to notice that Jemma was looking over your shoulder. "That's not fair, (Y/N)! Don't do that to him. I told you already, they can't know that he's still alive. They can't."

Her words were cut short when Thor entered the infirmary, checking on you for the fourth time today. He still harbored guilt for your injuries, even though you had tried repeatedly to tell him it wasn't his fault. "(Y/N), you're looking well today! I see that you're well enough to be released? It's not too soon?"

"Thor, I'm fine. Please, you have to stop worrying about me. Between you and Steve I'll never be able to get things back to normal. You two are like the big brothers I never wanted. It was an accident, okay?"

Fine. I'll send you an address. Tell no one.

"Alright everyone, I have plans." You slipped down off the gurney, your legs still a bit weak from days of bedrest. Jemma gave you a harsh look as you began texting again, knowing full well what your plans were.

"Would you like some company, (Y/N)? I don't leave until later this evening."

You did feel bad that you were leaving your friend so abruptly after she had taken such good care of you, but she was the one who put you in this situation; she was the one who slipped and told you about Coulson. "No thanks, love. I'm good. I might be back late, so I'll be in touch. Travel safe."

~~~

The address that Coulson sent you was literally in the middle of nowhere. You felt like you had been driving for hours, and that you would never find your way back. Bringing the car to a stop, you slid it into park and stepped out to look for any sign of him. Your phone had only limited reception way out here, but you took a chance that a text would make it to him.

I'm here. Don't you dare back out on this Coulson.

I see you.

Looking around again, you still didn't see him. Frustrated, you sat back down in the car, throwing your phone aggressively onto the dashboard.

"That's an expensive piece of equipment to just throw around like that."

"Son of a bitch!" You jumped at the sound of his voice, coming from the seat behind you. Instinctively you had drawn your gun at the surprise, with it now pointed at his head. "You're a hell of a lot dumber than I remember, Phil!"

"It's good to see you too, (Y/N)."

"Get out." You dropped your gun on the seat beside you and stepped out of the vehicle, waiting for him to join you. The entire drive there you were trying to think of what you would even say to him, and in this moment you realized that you had nothing. You were so angry, so hurt, so livid that words seemed pointless. Words were trivial. As Coulson exited and stood before you, all you could feel was contempt.

"(Y/N), I don't know what you-"

Your hand raised and laid a firm slap across his face. He didn't try to stop you, and he didn't reciprocate. He didn't really react at all, as if he knew it was coming. You had thought it would make you feel better, but it did nothing. You weren't sure if there was anything that would.

"I'm not here for an apology, Phil. I'm not here to give you absolution either. I just want to know why. I can understand why you don't want the team to know; I get that. But this is me. I thought I meant more to you than that, and you know you could've trusted me with this."

Phil rubbed the bright red handprint on his face, though his expression was unchanged. "You do mean more to me than that, (Y/N). But this goes beyond feelings. This was put on me against my will and I didn't ask for this, but Fury made his own call."

"Of course, Fury is behind this. Of course he is. You've always been his puppet, Phil. I've never noticed it before, because I was too busy following you around like a star struck kid, hoping that someday I could be just like you." Tears began to threaten your resolve to stay calm, and to stay firm in your position. "Those days are over. That's not who you are to me anymore. I'm not sure what or who to believe, and that's on you."

"I understand."

Your mouth hung open as his words lingered, not sure if you heard him correctly. His casual dismissal of you shocked you to your core and your chest felt heavy as you realized the gravity of what he was saying. He knew that this would be the last time he saw you. He knew that before you had ever said a word. This was his plan when he said he would meet you; to say goodbye.

He took a small step forward towards you, but made no contact. "I'm so very sorry, (Y/N). My intention was never to hurt anyone, especially you. You owe me nothing, but please keep this information to yourself. Do it for them." He kissed your cheek and turned to leave.

You climbed back into the car and watched him walk away. You thought there would be more tears, and that you would try to convince him to give you more, but you felt none of that. Whatever he had gone thru to still be alive had changed him, and he was a different person; you could feel it and see it in his face. You knew it was time to let him go.

Jemm, are you still in town?

Yes. Are you ok?

Can I see you before you go? I'm sorry I ran out like that.

Of course, darling.

As you walked into the tower, she was there waiting for you with her packed bags next to her. You had made it just in time to see her off before her taxi arrived. The sight of your friend brought on the emotional release that you had expected when you saw Phil again. You were overwhelmed with sadness and loss; loss of your mentor, and now the loss of your best friend as she returned to her other life. You ran to her and pulled her into a tight embrace, tears spilling from your eyes as you cried into her shoulder.

"He does love you, (Y/N). You'll see him again, and me."

You pulled from the hug and nodded, wiping your tears away. "I know, thanks, Jemm." You gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her bags and headed for the door. "Hey, I'm gonna give Steve your number. I fully expect you to flaunt it in front of Coulson."

You pulled a Captain America trading card from your pocket and wrote his number on the back. "Here, I picked it from Phil when he got too close." You gave her a wink as she stared at the card, shocked at the information that was now hers. "He's not the only one who's got secrets around here."