Part 1

File after file of Hydra information flashed across the screens in front of Tony, most of it jumbled and random as JARVIS downloaded it all. He watched for a few minutes, but quickly grew bored and moved on to look for what else they were hiding. While Tony left the room, JARVIS began to separate and analyze the new data being sent to Maria Hill back in New York.

"Sir-"

Tony was gone before JARVIS could stop him. The information he had just found was incredibly sensitive and must be addressed quickly; not only for the safety of the team but for the protection of his boss as well.

"Miss Hill, have you received the data as sent by Mr. Stark? I have highlighted one file in particular that requires your immediate attention."

Back at headquarters, Maria was reading the information as quickly as she could, trying to wrap her mind around what she was seeing. Details of Hydra's soldier training program were violent and cruel, so much so that she looked away several times from the images on her screens. "JARVIS, why am I watching this?"

Suddenly, it was clear why as she stood with a loud gasp and raised her hand over her mouth. The person now on her screens had a likeness that was unmistakable; her mannerisms were the same, and her eyes eerily similar. Could it really be her, Tony's sister, after all this time? After thinking she had been dead for so long? She had to be sure before she brought this to him.

"JARVIS, is that her? Take the last known photo of her, apply age progression and compare the two."

Two photos appeared side-by-side, eliminating any doubt that she had. Maria could only stare and shake her head at the realization of what, rather who, they had found, completely unsure of how to approach telling her boss.

"Yes, I do believe that is (Y/N), Miss Hill."

~~~

Once the team had returned to the jet, ready to go home, Tony finally had a chance to check his phone, expecting it to be inundated with messages from Pepper. He had neglected to tell her that he was leaving on this particular mission, and prepared himself to face her upon his return. To his surprise, there was only one message from Maria.

Tony, we need to talk. Urgently and alone.

Ok, so what ya got?

Not by text.

I'm sure it will be fine. Go ahead.

I prefer to talk in person.

What, are you quitting on me, Hill?

A few minutes passed by before she replied again, and Tony was actually starting to feel worried that she was going to tell him of her resignation.

The Hydra files. JARVIS found something.

Tell me.

He found (Y/N). She's alive, Tony.

His face went blank and the phone dropped to the floor, startling Steve, who was standing next to him. Tony stumbled back and sat abruptly in one of the seats, nearly missing his mark and falling.

"Tony? Hey, Tony, are you okay?" Steve grabbed his shoulder and gave him a small shake. "What happened?"

As he continued to stare ahead, motionless now, his mind was racing but his body was numb. Steve knelt down to face him, growing more and more concerned with Tony's uncharacteristic behavior. "What's going on?" When he finally answered, Tony's voice was a whisper, almost mumbling under his breath.

"They aren't even here to see her again."

~~~

Once the team returned to the tower, Tony locked himself away in his room, staring at the pictures of you that JARVIS had found. It was like looking at a ghost. You had been gone for thirty years, so it may as well have been one. You and Tony were only 14 years old when you disappeared; he and your parents searched for you for years, only to finally assume that you would never be found and were most likely dead. With all of the tools at Howard's disposal, he still couldn't find you. Your mother went a little crazy for a while, refusing to believe that one of her beautiful twins was now faced with going thru life without the other. You and Tony had been inseparable, finding comfort in each other when struggling with the fame and genius of your father and learning together as your own intellects grew. You really were best friends, and from that day on he would have trouble making new ones, always comparing them to his relationship with you.

His concentration on the image of your face was finally broken when Steve knocked on his door. "Tony, is there anything I can do?"

Tony sniffled and cleared his throat as he straightened himself, briefly running his hands thru his hair. "Come on in, Cap."

Steve entered slowly, looking at the picture of you projected on the wall in front of him. This was the first time he had ever seen you, and was taken aback by the similarities with Tony, even in the dark and grainy Hydra surveillance footage.

"My mother...Maria," he sighed, "she never gave up hope, ya know? Dad was more of a realist, but he was most talented at hiding behind his work." Tony laughed quietly under his breath, "no shock as to where I got that from." He stood now, walking to the window to survey the city below, wondering if you had ever passed by the tower on the busy sidewalks, looking for him. "I've wanted this day for so many years, but now that I know she's still alive, I have no idea where to start."

"JARVIS wasn't able to locate her from the files you found?"

"Even if he had, she could be anywhere." Still looking across the skyline, Tony raised his hand to rub his forehead and cheek, clearly frustrated with his inability to know what to do. "What do you think they did to her? Do you think she knows who I am? Who she is?"

Steve took a long, deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "I can't say, Tony. But you saw what they did to Bucky. Are you prepared for that?"

"Ha! I'm not prepared for shit." Tony shook his head as he turned to Steve, "but no matter what, I have to know."

"You're going after her," Steve whispered, nodding in agreement.

"You don't have to come with me."

The Captain paused for a moment, contemplating what a mission like this could mean, and how it could end. He looked at Tony, feeling that he was seeing the real man for the first time, his emotions clearly visible in his expression. Steve knew that Tony was asking for help, but was too proud to actually say the words.

"When do we start?"

Part 2

The team had gathered in the hangar bay to help Tony and Steve prepare to begin their journey to look for you. Tony was visibly anxious, moving quickly and randomly as he packed the last of the supplies onto the jet.

"Alright, if we don't make contact within the next two weeks, we're coming back." Tony waved his hand around the group with a pointed look to each of them, "you kids behave while daddy's gone."

"Excuse me?" Steve poked his head out of the jet, a snide look on his face. "I thought I was in charge? If anyone is gonna be daddy it should be me."

Clint grabbed Tony by the arm and directed him into the plane. "Okay fellas, we're getting into a really weird area here, so I think it's time for you to go." As the two reached the door Clint leaned in and spoke to Tony in a low and quiet voice, "Are you sure about this? After all this time? There's no telling what you're gonna find."

Tony didn't speak, but replied with a small nod and a firm grip to shake Clint's hand. After a quick salute to the team, he closed the door and took his seat next to Steve. For just a moment, the gravity of the situation struck him, and this was really happening; he rubbed his face and sighed, blankly watching Steve set the flight controls.

"Hey, you okay? You still up for this?"

"Straight on till morning, Cap."

~~~

"When we were twelve, we developed a prototype of jet-powered roller skates. We were able to get them up to 60 miles per hour, but she refused to go over 40; something about safety or whatever." A smile crossed Tony's face as he reminisced, "come to think of it, I was always the test dummy, but I never questioned it. She had a way of convincing me to do pretty much anything she wanted." Tony's smile began to fade and his voice grew quiet, "I would do anything for that girl."

With JARVIS now controlling the flight path, Steve turned to face Tony, reclining his chair back to settle in for the trip. "I know how your relationship with Howard played out, but was she close to either of your parents?"

"With mom, yeah. I think that's why she checked out when (Y/N) disappeared. And dad...yeah...you knew how he was. Oh! I found this in some of dad's old stuff." Tony leaned forward to pull a worn and bent picture from his pocket, unfolding it delicately and handing it to Steve. "I think we were about five, maybe six there?"

Steve's face instantly changed and his demeanor shifted. He handed the picture back to Tony, taking care to handle it gently. "Where, um, where were you in that?"

"Some SHIELD function, I think." As he took the picture back, Tony gave it another look before putting it away, but this time he noticed something he never had before, and his eyes widened at the revelation. "Oh, shit. Steve, I'm sorry. I didn't notice before."

The Captain closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, "It's okay, really. Don't worry about it." He opened his eyes to look at the controls, trying to distract himself from the thoughts of Peggy inundating his mind. "This isn't about me."

"I never noticed her in the background before." Tony stood to put the picture in his pack so that it wouldn't be seen again during the trip. "You sure you're okay, Cap?" There was a lengthy pause after his question, but he knew not to push the topic any further. When Steve finally broke the silence, he was back in business mode.

"We're about thirty minutes out. We should get ready."

~~~

Despite the fact that Hydra was thought to be dismantled, they weren't about to take any chances. Steve put his shield on his back as Tony grabbed the case that held his compact suit. "JARVIS, how far out from the last sighting are we?"

"Approximately 500 yards to the North, sir. There was a possible positive identification made in this region four days ago."

"If she were in hiding, there would be no identifications. Hydra trains them to make that a certainty," Steve said as they disembarked from the jet. Tony sucked in a harsh breath, trying to clear his mind of the idea that his twin sister was a Hydra agent so he could just focus on finding you.

The pair walked for a short time, entering a small grouping of deserted buildings, essentially in the middle of nowhere. Not expecting the desolation, Tony began to feel uneasy and put on his suit as a precaution. "Cap, you take that group on the North side and I'll grab these. I can't imagine that she's here, but maybe we can find some clues as to where she went."

"Roger that."

Tony entered the first building very slowly, pausing at the door to scan for life signs. Each building was the same; completely empty and completely disappointing. It was only the first location, but he was hoping for at least information to help them find the next search point. He pulled off his helmet, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. He hadn't slept well since the discovery that you could be alive, and his anxiety was becoming harder to control in his fatigued state.

"Stark, I might have something."

Tony rushed out to meet Steve, who was holding a bundle of clothing and food items, beginning to inspect them for clues to identify their owner. "Well, someone was here. And it looks like relatively recently." Tony put his helmet back on and scanned the entire area but found no life signs; at least they weren't being baited or watched. "Let's get this stuff back to the jet and see what JARVIS can get from it."

~~~

"I need to get this out of my head that we were gonna find her on the first try. It's hard to not be disappointed though."

"We'll find her, Tony. We're just getting started, okay?" Steve reached the jet only steps before Tony, and opened the door to enter. "I went thru the same feelings when I was looking for Buck. Try to be patient-"

As he stepped into the jet, you jumped on his back, wrapping your legs around his neck and pulling him down. He struggled beneath you, but you were able to twist his arms behind his back and weave your legs thru his to pin him tightly to the floor. You had the Captain immobilized before Tony had even realized what happened.

"Who are you and why are you here?!"

Tony couldn't speak; he could only stare at the sight of his twin sister, alive and in front of him for the first time in years. He pulled open the face plate of his suit, hoping that the sight of his face would jog some memory within you.

"Answer me, or I start breaking bones!" You twisted Steve's arm back farther as he yelled in pain, but he didn't answer. Despite the pain, he needed Tony to be the one to speak to you.

"I'm Tony," he said, fully removing his helmet. "I'm your brother, (Y/N)."

"Bullshit." You pulled Steve's arm back further, hearing a cracking sound as his shoulder dislocated from its joint.

"Stop!"

As he yelled, Tony instinctively raised his arm and shot his repulsor, knocking you violently across the jet. You were slow to stand, but you shook off the hit and began to charge forward. Knowing it was the only way to stop you, he fired again, but with this blow you quickly slipped into unconsciousness. Tony rushed forward to restrain you for the flight back to the tower.

"Rogers, are you okay?!"

Steve was panting as he jumped into the pilot seat, furiously setting the coordinates to return home as quickly as possible. "Don't worry about me, just make sure she's secured, Tony. I think they did more than just train her." As the jet rose from the ground, Steve stood and slammed his shoulder against the wall, resetting the joint with a resounding snap.

"What do you mean?"

"Tony, I don't get pinned that easily, much less have someone rip my arm out of joint, no matter how trained they are. Her strength matches or surpasses my own."

Nodding his head in agreement, Tony sat next to you, watching for signs that you might wake. "I'll call ahead and get Banner ready in the lab." He didn't take his eyes off of you, still in complete shock. It was really you, but it wasn't you at all. Steve had been right; there was no way to prepare for this and the feelings of dread that came with it. His hand moved cautiously, lightly touching your cheek so that he could have some sort of contact.

"Steve," he whispered, his voice full of despair, "she didn't even know me."

Part 3

The ride back to the tower was silent. Steve didn't know what to say to Tony, and there was nothing he could say to make this any better. You had regained consciousness during the flight but refused to speak to the man who claimed to be your brother. With the restraints still in place there was nothing you could do; you had tried to pull away from them but they were stronger than you had anticipated, as if these two men knew what you were capable of.

When the jet landed, Steve disembarked first, making his way into the hangar to greet the team and update them on what had happened. He knew that a barrage of questions would only make this more difficult on Tony, as it had been on him when they found Bucky.

"She hasn't said anything?" Bruce whispered to Steve as he watched Tony roll out the table that held you strapped to it. "How's he holding up?"

The Captain sighed deeply as he watched, shaking his head as he addressed the group as Natasha and Clint joined them. "Once we had her secured, she's been silent. Tony...well, he's as good as can be expected." Steve winced as Natasha bumped into his injured shoulder when she stepped past him towards Tony.

"Hey, what happened? You okay, Cap?" Bruce began to examine his shoulder, a look of worry crossing his face. "This is really swollen, Steve. We need to get this looked at. What the hell happened out there?"

Steve didn't want to take the focus of off you and Tony and tried to downplay his own injury. "I'm fine. She pulled it out of joint, but I reset it. It just needs time to settle down." He waved his hand dismissively, hoping to drop the subject.

Both Bruce and Clint's eyes widened at this, understanding what amount of strength that would take. "So you weren't exaggerating when you told me about her enhancement," Bruce said quietly, with a long sigh. "Well then, let's go to work."

~~~

Whoever this guy was, he sure wasn't letting up. He had so many questions, none of which you felt the need or desire to answer. He kept saying that he knew you, and that you knew him, but no matter how you searched your mind, he just wasn't there. He seemed nice enough, and he did bear a resemblance to you, but so many years of working alone and building trust with only a select few had left you skeptical and unwilling to let anyone in.

The other man on the jet, however, he was very familiar to you. He was Steve Rogers, the number one enemy of HYDRA. You had him in your grasp, and if this other guy hadn't stopped you, the Captain would be dead. Perhaps your chance will still come.

"Do you remember when you were captured?"

You were pulled from your thoughts of the glory of finally killing Rogers by the man named Tony. There was something about him that you wanted to trust, something that felt familiar, something...safe. After holding your silence for hours, you had finally decided that he could perhaps be trusted with only very basic answers.

"No, I don't."

Tony exhaled heavily, a small smile crossing his lips at the sound of your voice, and a tone that wasn't as animalistic as the one he had heard when they found you. "Do you remember anything before that?"

"I'm sorry, but no. I know you want me to, but I don't." Bruce moved to your side holding several empty vials. You bit your lip as he inserted the needle into your arm, removing tube after tube of your blood for examination. "I hate needles," you mumbled under your breath.

"So that's never gone away, then?"

"I've been shot and stabbed more times than I can count, but needles will always get me." You had turned your head away from the doctor, but were now looking directly at Tony. He held your gaze, searching your eyes for some sign of recognition. He was desperate for anything, and there was a small part of you that wanted to give it to him. "Tell me things. Tell me about...your...our parents."

His face lit up as if you had given him the greatest gift he could ever ask for. He looked up at Bruce, who returned a cautious glance; he didn't want Tony to move too quickly or to get his hopes up for something that may not come. "Okay, well, our dad's name was Howard and our mother was Maria."

"Was?"

"They've been gone for over 20 years now." Tony's voice lowered to a whisper as he hung his head, "They waited so long for this day." He shook his head and raised it again, getting back to his original story. "Dad was a founding member of SHIELD, so maybe he's in your memory somewhere from that?"

"It's vaguely familiar, yes." You startled as the doors to the lab opened to deliver Steve, moving to stand behind Tony, looking at you with a curiosity that made you feel like an experiment he was hoping to study. "You. I know you. If he hadn't stopped me, you would be dead now, Rogers." You pulled against the restraints, trying to free yourself to get another chance at him, but you couldn't move.

Tony's face dropped, saddened by the return of this persona and at the loss of the progress he was hoping to make. "Please don't do that, (Y/N). He's not your enemy; not anymore."

"What do you know? Why should I trust you? Just because you say you're my brother, I should now just ignore the only thing I've known for sure in my life? That he's the enemy? If you're with him, how could I ever trust you?"

"(Y/N), I'm not your enemy." Steve took a step towards you, and you pulled back as if he were a venomous snake ready to strike, but you were bound and powerless. With all the strength you could gather, you pulled at the restraint on your wrist, freeing your arm with a resounding snap as it broke. You were able to just reach his shirt and pull him down next to you.

"I'm stronger than you, Rogers." You whispered into his ear, "they made sure of that. I can kill you in more ways than you could ever imagine." You lost your grip when Tony pulled him back and the doctor struggled to secure you again. Your hand snapped up to strike Banner in the face, throwing him back against the wall. For just a moment, you thought you saw him looking a bit...green? You reached across to free your other arm, but as you reached down for your ankles, a man with a metal arm burst thru the doors and jumped on the table to hold you down.

"That's enough, (Y/N)."

"Let me go." You panted, struggling to break his grip, "this isn't your mission!"

Your fight didn't daze him at all, and he held you in place firmly. "They are no longer the enemy, (Y/N). They're telling the truth. HYDRA has fallen." You continued to fight, but his strength began to fatigue your muscles under his grip. "Please, stop."

He brought his face down closer to yours, attempting to hold your gaze until you could calm yourself. He spoke in a whisper, his voice soothing to you. "You trusted me once, (Y/N). Trust me now."

You finally relented, looking at Tony and feeling strangely remorseful for your outburst. His eyes were red and wet, and his hands were shaking. You had made him fearful of you, but it wasn't your intent. "I'm sorry...Tony. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Bucky," Steve stepped forward towards you again, cautiously speaking to his friend as he fastened the restraints, "you know her?"

"I do." He paused, looking at you, then at the Captain.

"I taught her how to kill you, Steve."

Part 4

In the weeks that followed, you were always at Bucky's side, not by your choice, however, but by his. He knew your full capabilities and he wasn't willing to allow you out of his sight until he could be sure that you were safe to be around Steve. In the very rare moments that he let you out of his sight, you were with Tony, trying to rebuild your memory of him and of your past. You had made very little progress, and as frustrating as it was for Tony, it was more so for you. Even though you were interested in this other life of yours, the need to complete your original mission was always weighing on you.

You were sitting with Bucky in the common room when Steve and Tony approached you both. Every time Steve was nearby, your body stiffened and became more alert; you had to will yourself to stand down. If the moment ever came that you would give in, you promised yourself that you wouldn't do it in front of Bucky or Tony.

"Hey, Barnes? Can I take (Y/N) for a few minutes?" Tony looked to you with an expression you hadn't seen from him before. He was almost childlike in his excitement. "I have something I need to show her."

Bucky nodded and you stood, moving to join Tony but passing by Steve close enough for your hands to briefly touch. A shock was sent through you at the contact, and it scared you for a moment until you looked up at him. His eyes looked tired and worried, but was he worried of what you might do? Was he worried about you being alone with Tony? What was it?

Tony grabbed your hand and escorted you to his workroom, walking quickly enough for you to have to lengthen your steps to keep up. "Here, put your hand on the keypad, but make sure your fingers match the placement highlighted for them."

"What are we doing?"

"I'm entering your bio-ID for my robotics lab."

"But I don't want that. I wouldn't know what to do in here." You hadn't raised your hand to the wall yet, and you were apprehensive to do so. What was his plan with this?

"(Y/N), don't worry. I want you to have access to me, and this is just another way to accomplish that. You can't hurt anything in here; FRIDAY has it locked down to my voice only, so you don't have to be scared of causing trouble." He gently took your hand and held it to the glass panel; you felt a slight tingle in your skin as the computer read and copied your fingerprints.

"Alright, sit here." He put you in the chair at his desk and your eyes danced across the multiple computer screens before you. As he walked to the front of the room to prepare whatever it was he wanted you to see, you touched a few areas on the screen, bringing them to life. The file you wanted to see was right in front of you, but you didn't know how much time you had, so you moved quickly.

Steven Grant Rogers

Date of Birth: July 4, 1918

Brooklyn, New York

Avengers Initiative: Active

A small ache grew in the pit of your stomach. Tony would be hurt if he knew you were looking at this; that you were looking into files without his permission. But your mission was too important to worry about that.

Project Rebirth: US Army, Dr. Abraham Erskine

Sole success test subject of project at time of report

Results: Enhanced strength, increased metabolism, heightened senses, rapid healing

"Hey, find anything interesting in there?"

Your hand closed the file quickly, looking over the screen at Tony, who was anxious to get started with his surprise for you. "Nope, just killing time."

He moved behind you and turned the lights down as a video began on the wall in front of you. "I found this in a bunch of dad's old stuff. When I first heard that you could be out there, I started digging around for anything that might help."

The movie was a bit grainy, but the images were clear enough for you to recognize yourself in them. It was the first definitive proof you had been given that tied you to the past that Tony was painting in your mind. You stood up and walked to the screen, which now showed you with a young Tony, working on an engine of some type with a man that you could only assume was your father. A woman entered from the background, carrying a tray of snacks and drinks for her family. You put your hand to the wall, touching the people in the video who you could never physically connect with again. They were familiar to your mind; they were creating feelings within you that hurt and seared their faces onto your mind. Visions of these people began to flash through you in a barrage of imagery that was brutal and unrelenting. And then you heard his voice, and it dropped you to your knees.

"Tony, you must always, always protect your sister. When I'm gone someday, you must remember this, and be there for her."

It was dad. You knew him. You knew Tony.

He ran to your side and lifted you from the ground to see your face. When you looked to him, tears were streaming down your cheeks, the heat of them bringing redness to your cheeks. You couldn't catch your breath between the sobs that were coming; they came without warning and wouldn't stop no matter how much you wanted them too. You practically threw yourself on him, tightly wrapping your arms around his neck, terrified to let him go.

"Tony. Oh god, Tony, where was I? How long..."

His tears now matched yours, his chest heaving with the emotions spilling out of him as he held you. "I never thought I would see you again. I thought you were dead. We all did, (Y/N). I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry we couldn't find you."

You pulled away from his embrace, wiping the tears from your eyes, then reaching up to wipe away his. "Don't blame yourself, Tony. You've found me now."

~~~

Steve stood only a few feet away, holding a firm gaze, determined to overtake you. You crouched down, signaling that you were ready. He raised his shield and ran directly at you. With a few running steps you threw yourself to the ground and slid between his legs as he passed. You quickly stood and leapt onto his back, wrapping your legs around his neck to spin and force him down. He fell with a hard thud, but bounced up before you could pin him. Steve grabbed your leg and flipped you roughly, somersaulting you flat on your back, taking the breath from your chest. When you didn't immediately rise, he ran to you.

"Shit, (Y/N), are you okay?"

You nodded and pushed your hands behind you to spring up, throwing your body against his to now knock him back. "I'm better than fine, Rogers." Before he could react, you flipped him onto his stomach and pulled his arms behind him. "You could have been dead five times over by now."

"Then I'm glad you're on our side." As you released him, he rolled over onto his back but didn't stand.

"Need help, old man?"

He ripped the shield from his arm and threw it towards you. You just barely had time to duck to avoid the hit to your face. Your arm shot up and grabbed it from the air, barehanded. He threw it with enough force that it would break that hand of an unenhanced assailant, but you didn't even flinch.

"Rude, Rogers. I thought dirty fighting wasn't your style." You dropped the shield at his side, a stern look on your face as you walked away.

"Hey, come on!" He called out as he followed you, "I knew you could handle it! Hell, you've kicked my ass more times than I can count!" He grabbed your arm to stop you from leaving the gym, but you pulled back and broke his grip.

"Please don't grab me like that, Steve. I'm still...I'm still struggling with this."

"With what?"

"My urges to kill you." You sighed and closed your eyes tight, trying to push the thoughts away, but it never seemed to work. "They're still in here. I may remember who I am now, but those commands are still trying to push me into doing it." Opening your eyes slowly and deliberately, you looked up at him with regret, "I don't want to. I don't ever want that to happen, Steve. You need to be careful around me...please."

He reached out and grabbed both of your arms, lifting you off the ground just a bit to connect his lips to yours. The shock of the action jolted you, and you pushed yourself away harshly, surprising and scaring him at the same time. Your hand rested over your mouth as you contemplated what had just happened.

Steve hung his head and without another word stepped back to grab his shield from the floor where you had dropped it just moments before. He was about to exit when you ran to jump in front of him to block his path.

"Steve."

"What, (Y/N)?"

Your fear of what you were about to do had you breathless, wrought with desire to touch him again, but terrified that one day you would lose control and hurt him. You were scared to get too close, not sure if those commands in your head could make you do what they wanted after all. If you became vulnerable, what could they do to you? It was a risk; one that you would have to face soon, but today wasn't the day. This moment wasn't the right one. You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss him; it was rough and desperate, and returned in kind. When you separated, you found your breathlessness was no longer about fear, but about desire.

"That."

Part 5

You slowly walked back to your room after parting from Steve; your thoughts were racing with what would happen now, after that definitive moment that changed everything. Your mission for so many years was to end him, and now you had feelings for him that couldn't be denied or avoided. As you lazily walked along, gently rubbing your finger over your lips, remembering when they connected with his, you neglected to watch where you were going and ran straight into Tony.

"What's gotten into you?" he said as he stepped aside to let you pass, but quickly turned around when he caught on to what was happening. "Who has you so distracted that you can't even walk a straight line? Hmmm?"

~~~

Steve sat in the gym for a long time after your left, staring blankly ahead at the wall with his thoughts jumbled and confused. He didn't know what to do, now that there was such a dramatic shift in your relationship. He feared what Tony would say, even more so than what Bucky would say; but most of all he feared what you would do. You had said it yourself, your mission was to kill him; he knew that Hydra training and brainwashing did terrible things, and was scared that you might return to your plan someday. He was falling hard for someone who could easily kill him in his sleep.

The gym door opened to reveal Bucky, who stopped to look at his friend skeptically before he entered. "So, what's her name? You've got that lovesick loser look all over your face."

~~~

"This is absolutely the worst idea you've ever had, Rogers! And you've done a lot of stupid shit in your day!"

"No, this can't happen. You can't be serious, right? You and Spangles? No. Not while I'm still alive."

Once they coerced the truth out of the both of you, you and Steve had been dragged off together by Bucky and Tony, now being lectured by two men who think they knew what was best for you. Perhaps they meant well, but all this was doing was making you want Steve even more.

Bucky slammed his fist down on the table and leaned towards Steve with fire in his eyes that he hadn't seen since they were young boys fighting in the streets together. "Steve, she could kill you. Do you understand that? You don't know if she's safe yet; that's why I'm always with her."

"Well," you whispered, "you weren't with me just a few minutes ago, and I don't think I'm going to kill him..."

"Oh, that's reassuring!" Bucky laughed, "Did you hear that, Rogers? She probably won't kill you."

"Buck, stop." They weren't thoughts that Steve hadn't already gone over a thousand times in his mind, so hearing them from his friend didn't change anything. "I think we can make our own decisions."

"Apparently not," Tony interjected. "(Y/N), I love you, but you're making a mistake here. Cap is a great guy, I know that; but honey, you just got your memory back a few weeks ago and you're still trying to figure out who you are. Now isn't the best time to figure someone else out too."

The man had a point.

"We can decide what we can and can't handle, but we won't know until we try. You should be able to trust us to know the difference." Steve paused to take a deep breath, "And frankly, it's none of your damned business."

That man had a point too.

Steve grabbed your hand and pulled you up to stand next to him. Without any more words spoken, he led you out of the room and into the hallway. "What do you want to do? I'll do whatever you want, okay? You need to make this decision."

"Steve..." your voice trailed off as you considered what you should say. You shook your head as all of the scenarios and outcomes of this situation played out in your mind. You searched for an answer, but none came. It wasn't until you realized that this wasn't a decision of logic, but rather of emotion, did you know what you had to do.

Your enhanced strength was welcomed in this moment as you pushed him against the wall and kissed him again. It was twice now that you had been the initiator, making your decision as clear as possible. He gasped slightly when you pulled back, his lips red and swollen and inviting.

"I was hoping that was the decision you would make."

~~~

Several months after that day, Bucky and Tony had finally fallen in line with staying out of your relationship, and life with Steve had been all that you wanted and more. Your training to be a part of the team had begun, utilizing your strength in ways that Steve and the others couldn't on their own. Today was your first mission in the field, working under Steve's guidance, and as the quinjet was about to land, he turned to you for a quick good luck kiss.

"You're gonna do great."

"I know."

The doors opened into a wooded area and you ran out behind Steve, who was holding the shield in front of you both. Bucky swept around to the far side of the clearing next to the lab you were about to siege. He waved to signal the go-ahead for entering, standing guard as you and Steve went in.

"Barton, you cover the North, I've got it covered on this side."

"Roger that."

The lab looked like it had been abandoned for some time; it was dark and covered in layers of dust that caught in your throat as you breathed it in. "It looks like maybe we hit the wrong place?" Even though it looked uninhabited you kept on alert for any sudden movements, searching every corner and potential hiding place while keeping an eye on Steve.

"Maybe. Wait, it looks like there's a lower level." He grabbed your hand to pull you behind him again as he pushed the old and creaking door open. As you both reached the bottom of the stairs that were barely safe enough to hold the weight of you, the room was filled with a blinding white light.

"Welcome, Captain. We are so pleased that you could join us today."

His arm instinctively wrapped around to hold you behind him. "Steve," you whispered, "you need to leave."

He glanced back at you for a split second, then back to the group of men in front of you. "Not without you."

"(Y/N), you will comply."

"Steve, go."

"Take a deep breath. Calm your mind."

"Steve..."

"Compliance will be rewarded."

Steve turned fully to look at you, in time to see the emotions draining from your face and your eyes growing cold. "(Y/N), don't do this." You heard his voice, but the words meant nothing to you.

"I am happy to comply."

~~~

Clint had now moved to stand with Bucky at the building's entrance, waiting for any sign of you and Steve. Bucky was growing more impatient as the minutes passed, barely able to keep himself still. Bringing you to a Hydra base was a really, really bad idea that he had tried to stop, but it was Steve's mission and he fell in line. "It's been too long. Something's wrong."

"Rogers, come in." Nothing. "Steve, where are you?" Again, nothing.

"That's it, I'm going in there. Stay here and keep an eye out for anything weird."

"We're storming a Hydra lab and you say to watch for anything weird?" Clint chuckled, "have you met the twins? What the hell else do you expect?"

Bucky could see your footprints in the dusty layer over the old wooden floor. There were two distinct sets of prints, yours following Steve's, right up to the basement door. With his weapon drawn, he slowly and silently made his way down the stairs towards the lights at the bottom. He heard your voice, but it had changed; it was as it had been when they found you, and his blood ran cold. He wondered if he would be next. He had almost reached the bottom when his stealth approach was betrayed by one loose step that snapped under his weight.

"Welcome, Mr. Barnes. We are so pleased that you could join us today."

"Bucky, get out of here!" Steve was on his knees in front of you, refusing to fight. You pulled your arm back to deliver a solid punch to his face, but he still refused to engage. "I told you, I won't."

Without hesitation, Bucky delivered precise shots at each guard, efficiently clearing the room of any threat, with the exception of you. In the commotion, Steve moved to stand with Bucky, guarding them both with his shield. As the last guard fell to the floor, you grabbed their gun and your own, now holding them towards two of the most important men in your life, men that you no longer knew, as he held his to you.

"I am here to end you, Rogers."

"You don't have to do this, (Y/N). Remember who you are." Bucky kept his eyes on you, but whispered to Steve, "I don't know how to pull her back. You got any bright ideas?" He paused for a moment to consider what he was about to say, already knowing the answer he would get from Steve. "Otherwise I have to take her out."

Part 6

"I won't let you kill her, Buck. Take her down without killing her. Maybe we can still-"

"You boys know that I can hear you, right?"

"(Y/N), look at me. Really look at me." Steve began, still guarding himself and Bucky behind the shield. "You know me."

"No, I don't."

Steve took a few steps away from Bucky, lowering his shield as he moved closer to you. "I love you, (Y/N). It took a long time for us to trust each other, and even longer to be friends, but now..." he took a few more steps and set his shield on the ground, "you love me too."

"Steve, you fucking idiot, what are you doing?" Bucky whispered harshly at Steve, not believing that he would be crazy enough to approach you unarmed. "Get your punk ass back here."

You stared at him as he moved closer and closer to you, being purposeful in holding your gaze. "Please, stop right where you are." Your voice wasn't as authoritative and strong as you wanted it to be; it wavered and cracked enough for him to feel like he could continue on.

"I've loved you for a long time, (Y/N). I want to spend my life with you. I've never told you that until now." He was right in front of you now, standing at the end of your gun. He shifted his stance so that the end of the gun was touching his chest. "I don't believe that you will kill me. I need you to come back to me."

You looked at him with confused and pained eyes. Something was familiar to you, somewhere in your mind, but the command to kill him was so strong, and it was hard to differentiate those thoughts from your own. If you returned without his body, your punishment would be of epic proportions; so much so that you likely wouldn't survive.

You took a step back and rocked on your heel until you had full extension of your arms and your gun in position. "I...I'm sorry, Steve. I just...my orders..." Your finger twitched just enough for Bucky to notice; he jumped out and pushed Steve to the side, exposing himself to the bullet meant for his lifelong friend. His body fell to the ground with a harsh thud and blood was pooling around him at a rapid rate.

"Bucky? Bucky, no!" When you saw him fall to the ground, his body limp, your mind flooded with memories and you knew him again. The sight of him bleeding reminded you of so many missions that required you to mend his wounds and the days of his blood covering your hands. "Bucky...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Steve couldn't believe what he was seeing; his best friend lying on the floor, unconscious, shot down by the love of his life; a shot that was meant for him. "What did you do, (Y/N)?" he whispered, his hands frantically pulling Bucky's clothing away to look at his wound. He glanced at you to see your face covered in tears as you tried to catch your breath. "This wasn't you, (Y/N). I know this wasn't you." His words sounded as if they were more to convince himself than to reassure you.

"Steve, Hydra wants him. Maybe I could convince them that he was more of a threat and would accept him over you." He looked at you with a shocked expression, not willing to let his friend go. "Steve, let me call them in so maybe we can save him. If they think that they can reprogram him..."

"No, I won't let that happen."

"But you'll let him lay here and die?"

"Why do you even care?" Steve's voice was loud and angry, and it filled the room enough to frighten you. "Do you even recognize me? Do you know who I am? If you take him, why not just shoot me and get it over with?"

"I know enough, Steve," you whispered. "I know that you are his best friend, and if you say that you love me and that I love you, then I need to make this right. If you believed that I wouldn't have shot you, then I need to find out why." You pushed his hands away from Bucky, moving quickly to hold pressure with your hand firmly into the hole that was left behind. "Steve, go."

He squeezed his eyes shut tight and groaned at the idea of leaving him with you, and that both of you would soon be in the hands of Hydra. He pushed himself up to his feet quickly and angrily, running up the stairs to meet with Clint. You stopped him just as he reached the top.

"Steve?"

With a huff, he turned to look at you. "What, (Y/N))?"

"The me that you know, is she a good person?"

His face immediately softened and his eyes filled with sorrow. He tilted his head to the side as he looked at you, "she's the best person I've ever known."

~~~

When Clint and Steve arrived back to the tower, without you and Bucky, Tony was immediately filled with anxiety. "Where's (Y/N), Steve? What happened?" He rushed forward to stand toe-to-toe with the Captain, his body tense. "I need to know right now."

Steve struggled to tell the story of what had happened with you and Bucky, and how you were both with Hydra now. As the words spilled out of his mouth, even he had a hard time believing them, and he was there. How could he have agreed to let you go back to them, and to take Bucky with you? Together you would both be formidable adversaries to the Avengers if Hydra gains control; extremely strong and smart, but also emotionally tied to each of them and this team would struggle to stop you.

As Steve spoke, Tony's eyes were wide and filled with fear, his body stumbling back. "Steve," he whispered, "how could you let her do that? They'll kill her if they figure out what she's doing." He looked up at Steve, confused. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know, Tony," he shook his head and was wringing his hands as he spoke. "I honestly don't know."

~~~

"Bucky?"

"Bucky, wake up, please."

You gave him a small shake to wake him, but not to startle him and make a commotion. "Barnes, wake up now."

He stirred a bit but didn't open his eyes. His metal arm contracted and released, the metal plates shifting as his body twitched. He moaned as the pain in his chest returned, now bandaged after the surgery to remove the bullet you had left there.

"Bucky, come on," you pleaded, "I can't do this without you."

His eyes finally began to flutter open; when he woke enough to recognize your face, he startled and tried to sit up, but his pain and your hand on his chest stopped him. "(Y/N), what...what the hell happened? Where are...where are we?"

You looked around to see who was nearby, the room you were in alone when he was shot was now filled with Hydra medics watching over the two of you. Leaning in close, you whispered in his ear, "Bucky, I need you to stay calm and listen, okay?"

He nodded silently, waiting for you to continue.

"I sent Steve away, and called Hydra in." He tried to sit up again, frantic now and desperate to get out. "Buck, please, calm down and listen. I called them in to patch you up and get them off Steve's trail. I can explain more later, but we need to find a way out of here."

"And why the hell should I trust you?" He was whispering too, following your lead, but his tone was harsh and angry, "you were really going to kill him, weren't you?"

"Yes."

He turned his head away sharply and huffed with disgust. "He loves you. I know they got in your head again, but how can that not be enough to fight it? He's totally gone over you."

"Then help me get us out of here so I can remember that, Buck. Please." You reached down and grabbed his hand and looked in his eyes to force him to hold your gaze. "You trusted me once, Bucky. Trust me now."

He laughed at this, his eyes softening ever so slightly, "damn, you're good. Using my own line against me."

"I was trained by the best," you shrugged. "Or so I'm told; I can't remember shit."

~~~

Tony was preparing his suit for flight and worked at plotting out an attack plan on the building that held you and Bucky. "Rogers, do you know if either of them still have their comms on? Have we tried calling them?"

"Totally silent. I don't even know if Bucky is alive or dead."

Tony's hands furiously moved across the computer screen, his fingers dancing over the images in an attempt to reconnect with your earpiece. He wasn't about to lose you again, not after he just got you back. He couldn't believe that Steve had so easily let you go; he claimed to be in love with you, but his actions didn't match. Tony never would have left your side and would have readily fought to the death to get you back here, memory intact or not. If they could get you back once, they could certainly do it again.

"(Y/N), come in." The odds of you having your piece still intact was a long shot, but worth the try. "(Y/N), can you hear me. Please say you can hear me." Tony rested his hands on his desk and hung his head down in frustration and defeat. He could feel the anxiety and fear building in him and struggled to maintain his control.

"Tony, you've gotta hold it together. We can find her again. Start over."

There was a crackle and static over the communicators and the sound filled the room. Tony once again turned to his computer screen with excitement and fear, "JARVIS do we have something? Can we connect?"

"Mr. Stark, it's (Y/N)," you said in a low whisper.

Tony's heart sank when you called him by his surname, but still felt joy in knowing that you were still alive. "I'm right here, sweetheart. We're coming to get you, are you okay?"

Steve jumped in, anxious to speak to you, "Is Bucky alive, (Y/N)? Is he...is he still...him?" He closed his eyes and waited in anticipation of hearing something he didn't want to know.

"He's alive, Steve. He's still your friend." There was a long pause before you spoke again, and the two men waited with their breath held. "We're about to make our move. How far out are you? We sure would appreciate a ride."

The two men looked at each other without speaking, knowing that this was their one and only shot at getting you both back. Déjà vu had set in for Steve, having found both you and Bucky in the recent past, and he could only hope to believe that this would be the last time. Tony was simply anxious to get moving and get you home.

Before he could answer, the sounds of gunfire and explosions filled your comm and Tony was unable to summon you again. Steve grabbed Tony's arm and ran for the jet as fast as his legs would allow.

Part 7

Tony couldn't get his damn suit on fast enough. His hands were shaking so violently that he had dropped his helmet twice, cursing at his lack of control. Now was not the time for a panic attack; he needed to get to you and get you to safety.

"Rogers, how the hell are you so calm right now?"

He may have looked calm on the exterior, but Steve was locked in his own mind, his own anxiety and worries were paralyzing him. The visions of losing Bucky the first time kept playing like a recording stuck on replay; he could hear the screams as if he were in that moment again right now. How could he possibly survive that loss again? And then there was you; losing one of the two people he loved most in the world would be traumatic enough, but losing both would destroy him.

"I'm not calm, Stark. I'm completely terrified."

Tony stepped up beside Steve as he flew the jet, resting his hand on his shoulder. "Steve, we can do this. I'm just as scared as you are right now, but we've gotta get it together."

Steve nodded and glanced back briefly at Tony, "you're right." He took a long deep breath that made him shudder as he exhaled, steeling himself and resolving to focus on the task at hand rather than who he was going in to save.

"Okay, so here's the plan..."

~~~

"This is your plan?"

"Yeah." Bucky said with a smirk, but was quickly dashed when he saw that you were skeptical. "What? It's a good plan!"

Once it was discovered that you were in communication with the Avengers, all hell had broken loose. The two of you had managed to escape the building, but with nothing more than one gun between you to fight back, you had to take refuge in an old storage shack only a few hundred feet away.

"You want me to pretend that I'm back on their side, and shoot at you while we run out of the building to catch the jet?"

"Yeah."

"That's the dumbest idea you've ever had. Then all of the fire will be on you." Your eyes grew wide as you realized what he was thinking. "No. Hell no. I won't let you take all the heat to save me."

Bucky sighed and shook his head at you, "then come up with something better, smartass. You were never good at the plans, if you recall."

"I don't recall anything, jackass!" You tapped the side of your head angrily, "I'm a little messed up right now in the memory department, in case you hadn't noticed!"

"True story," he laughed, feigning injury as you slapped his arm with a resounding smack. "Alright, fine. Let's just make a run for it then?"

"Hold on, what's that?" You crawled over to a table and saw a box of ammunition that looked old and weathered. "Hey, do you think these are live?" You held up an old and rusted grenade for him to inspect.

"Can't hurt to try, right? It's not like you're coming up with anything better."

~~~

Tony was pacing in the cramped jet, the bulk of his suit making it difficult for him to maneuver himself. As the minutes passed by, Steve could hear Tony's breathing quicken and the repetitive sighs of frustration were taking their toll on his patience.

"Stark. Sit."

"I can't. You have the luxury of sitting because you're flying the damn plane. I'm back here running every scenario through my head, seeing all the ways that we're gonna fuck this up. Maybe you were right to be nervous." He began wringing his hands together as he paced. "If we don't get there soon, I'm gonna lose it."

A low groan came from Steve's throat as he stood to face Tony. "JARVIS, take the wheel."

"Yes, sir."

Doing his best to portray a commanding presence, the Captain stood toe-to-toe with Tony, his eyes now dark and angry. "We are not going to fuck this up. You are not going to lose it. Stark, if you can't pull yourself together and focus on what we need to get done, then you need to stand down and shut up."

"You need to step back, old man."

"Or what?"

Tony's fist swung up to connect with Steve's jaw, but the impact didn't shift his stance at all, and Tony reacted with the shock of pain in his hand that resonated up his arm. He shook his hand at his side and looked up at Steve, even more angry now than he had been. He reached up and pushed against Steve's chest, knocking him back a step.

"I'm not gonna fight you, Tony. It won't make either of us feel better about this." He took another step back and raised his hands to deflect any further attack. "I think we both need to get some perspective before this goes too far. We both need to calm down and focus on the job."

"This whole thing went too far when you took her on that mission with you! It was too soon; she wasn't ready! You knew that she was still susceptible to them. I will never forgive you if I lose her again."

"I know." Steve backed away and returned to the cockpit, staring out the window while JARVIS continued to control the flight. "I won't forgive myself either, Tony. If that happens, you can do whatever you want with me."

"We have arrived, Captain Rogers," JARVIS announced, "you should prepare for landing. I believe Miss (Y/N) and Mr. Barnes are in the structure 100 yards to the east. The structure is surrounded by 15 Hydra guards, heavily armed."

Tony put on his helmet and looked at Steve; without speaking any further, he put the face plate down and turned towards the back of the jet, preparing to disembark. Steve stood and grabbed his shield, taking his place next to Tony.

"Let's bring them home."

~~~

"They're here, Buck. I heard the jet; we gotta move."

Bucky threw the door open, and the assault started almost immediately. "Stay behind me!" He shot down guard after guard as you searched for where Steve had landed so that your grenade launch wouldn't put them at risk. You threw the first grenade out and towards the group of guards, but nothing happened.

"Yep. Fantastic plan," you laughed. "Together you and I barely make one competent soldier anymore, Barnes!"

You looked behind Bucky to see Steve running towards you, shield in hand and blocking fire. "You guys okay?"

"Hey man, thanks for showing up," Bucky laughed. "We could really use a plan; all of ours kinda suck."

"Whatcha got?" He raised his shield to guard you as shots were fired again in your direction. "Hold that thought." Steve ran into the group of guards, throwing his shield to knock several down and engaging two others in a hand-to-hand fight. Bucky ran to Steve's side as the shield bounced off a tree just to your left; you reached out and grabbed it, almost as if it were instinctive to do so.

As it turned out, it was instinctive; Steve had taught you how to use it. The straps felt natural in your hands, and you moved with ease as you brought it up to protect yourself.

Steve.

Steve taught you. He wanted to be sure you were protected, even if he wasn't there. Because he loves you, and you love him; it all came flooding back when the shield was in your hands, and you couldn't wait to tell him.

"That's a good look on you, kid." Tony dropped down next to you, moving quickly to stand in front and protect, ready to shoot anyone who came close or even so much as looked at you the wrong way.

"Hey, bro, nice to see you drop by!"

He pulled off his helmet and turned to face you, his expression ecstatic at the revelation that you remembered him again. "Oh god, I've never been so happy to see you! Let's get you the hell out of here already!" He turned away again, taking out another guard effortlessly. He kept one hand extended and ready to fire, the other on your arm to lead the way to safety.

"That's the best thing I've heard all day, let's go."

Tony nodded and replaced his helmet on his head, looking at Steve and Bucky, who were just finishing off the last guards in sight. "Alright guys," he yelled, "head for the jet." Looking back at you, he released your arm and pointed at the other two. "I'm going up to cover you, stay close to them." He flew up to take position above you, watching for any stray guards that might come your way as you ran.

Steve and Bucky made it to the door of the jet first, and you were only a few steps behind. Steve turned back and extended his hand, ready to pull you up, but your fingers only grazed his and didn't connect. You felt a tearing pain in your chest that sucked the breath from you as you looked down to see your shirt turning a dark red. You fell backwards and away from his grasp, but your eyes were locked on his. As your senses began to fail, you heard a repulsor fire and a scream from Tony, and Steve calling your name. You could feel a metal arm beneath you before your body could touch the ground.

"No!" Bucky hollered, laying you on the ground so Steve could push his hand firmly on the wound, holding pressure against the bleeding. "Stark!"

Tony landed and flung the suit away, falling on his knees at your side. You looked at him through heavy lids, a small curl of your lips forming into a weak smile. You loved him, but you had to save your breath of final words for Steve. "(Y/N), please," he begged, "please, I just got you back. Don't leave me again."

"Hey, (Y/N), come on, stay with us. We're gonna get you out of here, okay? Just hang on." Steve continued to hold pressure and nodded towards the jet for Bucky to get it moving as fast as he could. "Please stay awake."

"Steve," you whispered, your voice barely audible. Steve leaned in close so that he could hear you, his eyes filling with tears as he heard your last words and watched your chest fall for the last time.

His face went pale and he toppled back onto the ground, looking at his shaking, blood-soaked hands. He looked at Tony, whose eyes were as empty as he knew his own must have been.

"She said she knew me."