requested by @heartfullofharry

oh wait that's me

yeah hi guys so i wrote this as kind of a practice bc i'm trying really hard to get your requests done and i just needed to get into the swing of it x

it's not that good but womp womp oh well

Harry's alarm goes off early the day after Christmas. Groaning, he rolls over and shuts it off, opening his eyes. He has to go get Louis, fuck. His heart sinks a little.

Numbly, he sits up, shivering a little as his blanket slips off of him. He runs his fingers through his messy curls, standing up and grabbing some clothes off the floor. It's still dark, he can barely see what he's putting on, but he can't really bring himself to care.

His parents aren't even awake yet, so he tries his best to be quiet as he tiptoes to the washroom to brush his teeth. He doesn't want them to know he's gone. It'd be too hard to explain.

Grabbing his keys off the counter, he walks out into the snow. The air smells cold, and his fingers are becoming numb quick. He can't bring himself to care too much. He gets in his car and pulls out of his driveway, making his way to Louis' flat.

When he arrives, it's much quieter than usual. Everyone is still sleeping, he supposes, walking up the stairs to Lou's apartment. When he gets there he opens the door, finding Louis balled up on the couch.

"Hi," Harry says softly. He doesn't care about being quiet here–Louis' family is out of town. Louis looks up at him, eyes rimmed with red. Harry sits down next to him, but he doesn't touch him. "Are you...ready?"

"Yeah," Louis says weakly. Harry stands back up, helping Louis up as well. Cautiously, he leans down and kisses Louis' forehead. Louis doesn't show any type of reaction. He can't imagine how Louis is feeling right now.

Harry leads Louis out of the flat, closing the door behind him. They walk down to his car, and Louis curls him on himself, bringing his knees to his chest. He's not wearing a jacket, Harry realises. "Do you want my coat?"

"No thank you," Louis whispers.

"It's freezing, Lou," Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"I'm okay," Louis assures, voice breaking a little. Harry sighs a little in defeat, but he pulls out of his parking space and starts to drive towards the clinic.

Louis is silent the whole car ride. Harry doesn't push him, but he can't help but smile a little when Louis reaches over and grabs his hand off the steering wheel. He doesn't know what Louis wants from him. He doesn't know how to support him right now.

They get to the clinic, but Louis doesn't unbuckle even after Harry's parked. "Louis," Harry says gently.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Louis asks, looking Harry in the eyes for the first time that morning. There are people outside the clinic with signs, and Louis swallows thickly. "I can't do this, H."

"Are you sure?" Harry asks, voice soft. Louis sighs, his bottom lip trembling.

"No," He says after a moment. "I have to."

"Okay," Harry nods, and Louis unbuckles his seatbelt. They get out of the car, and Harry grabs Louis' shoulders from behind him, guiding him towards the doors. The people with signs shout at them, and it's taking everything in him to not shout back. He knows that wouldn't help.

They sign Louis in, and then call his name at 7:30. "Do you want me to go with you?" Harry asks. Louis hesitates, but he stands up out of his chair and shakes his head.

"No," He says, so quiet it's practically a whisper. Harry nods. He understands. He reaches up and gives Louis' hand a squeeze, watching him walk towards the nurse.

So Harry sits there, in the waiting room, the chanting still loud enough for it to hear. Fuck them, as if Louis needs to feel worse about this. He's so young, too. They both are. Harry knows this is the right thing to do, but his hands are shaking.

He needs to get some air. He stands up out of his chair and walks up to the front desk. "Um, I'm sorry to bother you," He says, voice hoarse. "But is there a way out of here without...them?"

The woman's face softens. She nods, "Down the corridor to your right, there's an exit," She says. Harry thanks her, and makes his way down the corridor, walking outside to a parking lot. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

He has some shit he needs to do, anyways. He supposes it'd be more efficient to do it now. Swallowing thickly, he walks down the pavement, towards a pawn shop down the road. He's got to pawn off some of his Christmas presents so they can afford this.

After doing that, he's got enough money with some to spare. There's a store across the street selling flowers, so he buys some for Louis. He can't tell if that's stupid or not, but. He wants to do something for him.

When Harry gets back to the clinic, it's only a few minutes before a nurse comes out and walks over to him. "He's in a recovery room," She says. "He's asking for you."

Harry just nods, bouquet in his hands as he follows her down the corridor behind the front desk. Louis is laying on a bed, staring at the wall. Harry thanks the nurse quietly, and she closes the door while Harry walks over to him.

"I-I bought you flowers," He blurts out, not entirely sure what else to say. "Is that stupid?"

Louis, for the first time since he'd broken the news to Harry the day before, laughs. It's weak, and his eyes are still sad, but. It's something. "No," He says after a moment. "It's not."

Harry smiles a little, setting the flowers down on the table. "How do you feel?" He asks, hesitating.

Louis frowns, looking back at the wall. "I don't know," He practically whispers. Harry frowns, and Louis closes his eyes, a tear slipping out. "Am I a shitty person for doing this?"

"No," Harry says quickly. "No, baby, you're not."

"I feel terrible," Louis sniffles, laying his forearm over his face.

"It's okay," Harry says softly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You did what you had to do, L."

"I know," Louis sniffles again. "They gave me a prescription for birth control too."

Harry just nods. He's usually really good at comforting Louis, but. This is much, much different than anything they've ever gone through. He knows Louis must feel really alone right now. Harry wishes he were in Louis' place, wishes he could take the pain and do this for him.

"I love you, Lou," Harry says quietly, grabbing Louis' hand and kissing the back of it.

♛

"Harry, baby, you've barely touched your food."

Harry looks up at his Mum. He'd just gotten home from Louis' flat. After a while, Louis told him he just wanted to be alone for a little bit. Harry understood, but, it still kind of hurt.

"I'm just...not that hungry," Harry says solemnly. "Can I be excused?"

"'S everything alright?" Robin asks him. Harry looks down at his lap, his lip starting to tremble. Robin's eyebrows furrow. "Son, you know you can tell us if something's wrong."

"Love," Anne puts her hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry can't help it. He puts his hand over his face, eyes watering. "Oh, Harry."

He looks up at his stepfather, who's never looked more worried, and sighs shakily. "Louis had an abortion today," He admits, sniffling. His parents are silent.

"Harry," Anne whispers, but she doesn't say anything else. Harry can't contain the tears that drip down his cheeks. "Oh, love," She pulls Harry up out of his chair and wraps him up in her arms. Harry starts to full-on cry, burying his face in his Mum's shoulder. "It's okay, you're okay, pumpkin."

Harry doesn't regret it. It was all Louis' decision–it's his body–but he feels so overwhelmed. He doesn't know how to process anything that had happened that day. He can't bear to think about how Louis must feel right now.

"Harry," Robin's standing up out of his chair, and Harry turns to look at him, eyes still watery. Robin puts both of his hands on Harry's shoulders. "I know it must've been hard for you, and I know it can be difficult to process, but I'm so, so proud of you for doing what you had to do, especially for Louis."

"Really?" Harry sniffles.

"I am too, love," Anne rubs Harry's back. "That's...that's a lot for anyone to do, much less a teenager. Is Louis okay?"

"No," Harry weeps. "No, he's not."

Robin squeezes Harry's shoulders, exchanging a look with Anne.

♛

Louis spends most of their winter break in Harry's bed with him. They nap a lot, and sometimes they'll watch movies, but a lot of the time Louis doesn't feel like doing anything. Harry seriously thinks he's depressed. He's worried Louis won't ever be the same.

It's snowing the day Anne comes into Harry's room, both of them on Harry's bed. She gives Louis a small smile. "How're you doing, love?"

Louis shrugs. Harry frowns, and kisses the top of his head. Anne twists her mouth. "Have you told your mum yet?"

Louis shakes his head, "No."

"Maybe you should," Harry says softly. "You're so stressed about keeping it from her, maybe you should just tell her and get it over with."

Louis takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. "I don't want her to be mad at me," His voice is trembling. Harry's heart breaks a little.

"She won't be," Harry rubs Louis' back.

"Louis, baby," Anne says gently. "You're too young to be hiding this kind of thing. You need your Mum. You need her support."

"What if she thinks I'm a terrible person?" Louis sniffles. "What if she's mad?"

"I don't think she will be, love," Anne says softly. "But if she is, you can come to me, okay?"

Louis nods, swallowing thickly. So, they get dressed in some real clothes, and Harry drives them to Louis' flat.

"Haz?" Louis asks softly.

"Yeah?" Harry replies, not taking his eyes off the road as he rests his hand on Louis' thigh.

"Do you think things will be back to normal soon?" He asks, putting his hand over Harry's. Harry grins to himself a little.

"Yeah," He says, lifting Louis' hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. "Yeah, baby, I do."