it's twelve but i can't sleep help

some midnight thoughts

started watching one punch man and sonic is my precious baby if you touch him you die

my sister hates me for some reason "why are you sitting next to me" bitch we're related stop treating me like shit for fucking sake i swear to god she always looks at me with that snobby expression save my soul

i know i say sorry a lot so i've been trying to say thank you more but my mom is upset with that now as well "stop thanking people it's annoying" oh my fucking god if you hate everything i say why don't you rip my throat out

this turned into a semi rant whoops but i swear to god my family will be the death of me i know i suck and everything but can you pretend to love me pls i'm going to college in like a few years and then you'll never hear from me again lemme live

also just ate my first melatonin pill cause i can't sleep so let's see how that works

my mom wants me to finish a book before college and i have like a story idea and whatsnot i haven't actually written anything yet because procrastination but there might be some themes of suicide and like while i have read stories of those who have experienced such i don't actually know anyone or empathize with anything except words on paper and i'm afraid i'll misinterpret it and misuse it so that's on hold for now

if you want to roleplay with me fucking talk. i've been in so many roleplay where the other person (girl) is like "she stands quietly by herself, away from every fucking living thing" and i'm forced to literally roleplay by myself like bitch you will not spend my time making me talk to myself get your sorry ass over here

anyways

damn i have a lot to say at night

also what i did with charm was fun so if you have a really stupid power i can try and get you come up with strengths and weaknesses uvu

okay good night