Sexuality. OOOOOOOFFF

I identify as asexual and panromantic- but i think thats wrong?

Ive had crushes on cis girls
Ive had crushes on transboys
Ive never met a transgirl so idk yet
But never really a cis boy?

BEFORE YOU CALL ME CISPHOBIC OR WHATEVER LEMME EXPLAIN REEE!!!!

I think its because im jealous of cis boys. I want to be him. I dont wanna be physically a chick and its confusing as all hell. I dont think i could be in a relationship with a cis boy because id be clouded by jealousy. I just dont wanna hurt anyone. Im jealous of all cis boys tbh, in my classes instead of thinking about how y= 4x9 i think about how the dude behind me is so lucky! He has a flat chest. He is called by he everyday. He has a low voice. Hes going threw the right puberty. (no wonder im failing lol). Idk...

Lets say im Asexual, demiromantic and polyromantic aye?