Chapter V: Princess Guinevere Suffers a Panic Attack

Gwen found Artie a short time later in an overgrowth of ferns. The trees above looked like arches, and a few rock ledges were scattered around.

Gwen lowered her head and called, "Where are you, kid?" when Artie disappeared as quickly as he appeared. She spent an hour in the forest looking for him. Gwen passed through the fern pool and was now in an area with the Figure-Eight Stream. There were more ledges than back at the ferns, and the sun's rays caused the water to sparkle.

Gwen's dress became caught in a bush, but she quickly freed it. She leaped out of her skin when she heard a crash in the forest. It sounded like somebody had fallen.

"No! No! No!" Gwen yelled. She was lost. She was freaking lost, and it was all Arthur's fault.

The thought of food overtook Gwen's mind. She ran around the Figure-Eight Stream many times until she collapsed to her hands and knees in a bundle of white flowers and smacked her palm to her chest. Sweat trickled down her forehead. It got into her dress, causing it to stick to her skin. Gwen felt like her heart was about to burst out of her mouth. She was getting ready to turn into a dragon when she heard a familiar voice:

"Are you seriously lost in the woods? Some musketeer you are." It was Artie! He stood on top of a ledge with his arms crossed. "Have you lost your mind yet?"

Gwen blushed. "No, of course not. Where did you come from, kid? What happened to you?"

"Oh, I've been following you."

"What?"

Artie smirked. He plopped down on the ledge and bent his right knee. His left leg dangled over it. "I have to say that it's amusing to watch you panic over such a little thing."

Gwen punched the ground. "I'm not losing my mind, Half Pint! It's these bugs! Yeah! These bugs are killing me!"

"Half Pint? Oh, how nice of you," Artie chuckled. He brought his hands to his mouth. "I could use an insult right now, so thank you."

"Just get me out of this forest," Gwen begged.

"Oh, but why? I mean, you're the one who tried to kill me in the first place." Rising, Artie slid down the ledge's face and joined Gwen.

"Fine! I'm sorry!" she shouted. Tears ran down her cheeks. "But look who's talking tough now. The amateur who stole my shield for his own 'various reasons.'" She held her shield out to Artie.

He pushed it away. "Look who's talking tough now. The amateur who stole a sword." Arthur inhaled. "All right, I'll make you a deal. I'll get you out of this forest on one condition." He held up one finger.

"What do you want?" Gwen gasped.

"You see, girl, it hasn't been easy following you around this overgrown chicken coop, and my poor legs are killing me," Artie answered. "Therefore, you should cut this little fifteen-year-old some slack and carry me out."

That was his request? What a selfish, obnoxious, disgraceful—!

"Carry you?" Gwen shrieked. "Forget it, Half Pint! I'm not going to carry you!" She used her shield to help her stand. Moving over to a tree, she rested her palm on it.

Behind, Artie shrugged. "Well, I guess you're stuck in here forever. Boo-hoo. I'm playing the world's smallest violin right now."

Gwen glared at him.

"Look," Arthur added, "you want to get out of here, right?"

"Yes!" More tears escaped Gwen's tired eyes.

"Then it's settled!" Artie swiped her shield but put it on his back. He waited until Gwen removed her hand from the tree trunk before hopping onto her spine and wrapping his arms around her neck. "Let's march! Fi-fie-foe-fum! The giant's on the run!"

Gwen groaned, but she stepped forward and away from the Figure-Eight Stream. She and Artie hiked over logs, bushes, and the occasional felled bird's nest, and Artie continued to get on Gwen's nerves:

"Make a left. No, a right. A left!"

Crash!

"That's a tree!"

"Ugh!" Gwen shouted.

Artie's directions were annoying, but he knew where he was going. As he promised, he got Gwen out of the forest.

They reached the foot of Blacksmith Village by sunset and stumbled out of the trees onto the dirt road. The village's bronze entrance gates were behind them.

Dying from hunger and thirst, Gwen collapsed to her hands and knees.

Arthur, not tired at all, slid down her back. "Well done, my good lady. Thanks to my amazing directional skills, we're out of the forest alive."

Gwen gave him the evil death glare. "I hate you."

"Oh, I know." Artie laughed behind his hand.

Gwen wanted to take a nice, hot bath. She never wanted to see Arthur again. Or did she? Gwen hated to admit it, but like the wolf earlier, something inside her said she knew him from somewhere.

Artie's eyes moved up to the setting sun, and he gasped. "Is it that late? I need to get back."

"Back to where?" Gwen challenged.

"That's none of your business, lady." From out of nowhere, Arthur cringed and stumbled back a few steps. He smiled again and continued. "Well, I'm off. Here's your mirror."

Weird, he did not attempt to rob Gwen again. Perhaps Mr. Arthur had a heart after all?

He took the mirror off his back and handed it to Gwen.

She merely stared.

"Oh, and one more thing," Arthur stated. He reached his hand into a pocket of his tunic. "Where is it? Ah, there we go." From it, he pulled out a small piece of bread. "Sorry if it's a little broken, but here you go. I'm not going to eat it, so you might as well. Well, lovely to meet you, Gwen."

"I still hate you," she said, but that time in a friendlier tone.

Arthur shrugged. "Ah, whatever. I hope to see you again." He gave her a quick wave and hurried back into the forest.

Gwen tried to make sense of her strange day. Only two minutes later, she missed Artie. No, no! Who could like such a phony? Well, now she had a legitimate excuse for missing the suitors. At least, she hoped so. Speaking of which... Where was Elisabeth? That was Gwen's next task, but not now. She wanted to enjoy the sunset, eat her bread, and dream about Artie's emerald green eyes. Argh! What was wrong with her? He stole her mirror and was annoying as heck! He was nothing but a weakling who deserved no friends. No, he was a street rat.

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