"you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
cursing my name, wishing i stayed
you turned into your worst fears"

-

"For someone who complained the whole way here, you're taking a very long time to get out of the car." Agent Smirnov remarked, while Samantha stared at their hands and picked at their purple jumper. "Wow, it's almost as if you don't appreciate our quality time together." Her tone was deadpan, but she was smiling.
"I don't think watching your childhood home get blown up counts as quality time."
"The only quality use of time near that building is blowing it up." Samantha rolled their eyes, before adding, quietly. "Do you think they know? Do you think they've figured out where I was?"
"Probably. There were quite a few news crews there."
"Shit." Samantha didn't know why they were so scared. Maybe it was that good old social anxiety kicking in again, or maybe she was just scared that people would see her differently. Maybe they just didn't want to be alone again.

"You need a moment, Anson? We can just sit in the car and talk for a bit if you want." Agent Smirnov was being nicer than usual. Samantha's eyes darted towards him sceptically. "Really?"
"Yeah, sure. That's one of the most stressful raids I've been on, and it's your first one. Plus, it's personal. It's never easy to do that." Now, the agent was going dangerously close to 'Instagram inspirational quote' territory.
"I guess not. I wish my brother was here."
"Jason?"
"You remember!" Samantha sounded slightly startled at this revelation. They thought that their interview would only serve as evidence to use in court.
"Of course I do. I'm amazing."

"Well, Jason survived the cult too. I wouldn't have gotten out of it wasn't for him. So, I think he should've been there. At least then he would've died knowing Lucian was gone." Why the fuck did she say that? Samantha had always been taught that emotions made them weak, and their entire life had just been a challenge to show that they were stronger than that. Agent Smirnov didn't say anything but gave Samantha a sympathetic look that came across as a bit too pitiful for her liking. "I should probably go. Kate better give me a fucking good discount for this shit." The second part was more a whisper, and not directed at anyone in particular. She stepped out of the car, strode across the gravel and passed the faded "Welcome to Felicity Valley!" sign.

-

Samantha was right. Kate and Hector's "you helped take down the cult that abused you since you were a child" discount was very generous.

"Do you ever even use your phone?" Kate spoke playfully. "We saw you on the news, Rory and Clo sent like a million texts."
"Shit, really? That makes news?"
"Yes, Samantha. Bringing down one of the most dangerous cults in the country makes news." Kate told them in a monotone, matter-of-fact way as if it was obvious. Samantha gave Kate a doubtful look but said nothing. Soon, an uncomfortable silence took hold of the aisle at Delaney Liquor Store.

Apparently everyone in Felicity Valley just conveniently decided to get sober that day.

-

"Samantha!" Aurora ran up to her, wrapping her in a hug. "Oh my God, are you okay?" Samantha awkwardly moved out of the hug. "Yeah, of course I am." They kept their voice neutral and casual. "Are you sure? I saw you on the news. Why didn't you tell us? Wait- I'm on my way to Clo's place. Come over, get some pizza and we can have a fun little conversation about it." Samantha didn't want to have a fun little conversation about it. There was only one thing Samantha had planned to do, and it was not to go to Clover's house for pizza, but rejecting Aurora was devastating and she couldn't say no to an offer involving pizza.

"Samantha Anson." Clover said in the manner the cowboys did in western films.
"Clover Copeland." Samantha copied their tone, and Clover laughed. "I missed you."
"I've only been away for a week."
"Yeah, but I've been seeing you in the news!"
"I will never understand how this is a bigger news story than any other world issue."
"It's sensational." Samantha was distrustful but decided it wasn't worth questioning. "I have so many questions," Clover spoke up. "Aurora promised me pizza. No pizza, no answers." Samantha sounded serious, but had a smile on their face. This was good. This was comfortable, to joke like they always did. Samantha was not prepared to answer any questions.

-

"Were you ever scared?" Clover asked, grabbing another piece of pepperoni pizza. "No." The reply was instant, but Samantha had to think for a moment after. Why weren't they scared? She knew a bulletproof vest would do little to protect her from Lucian. Honestly, they were half-expecting him to just shoot them in the head the second they walked in. She didn't know why he didn't. Now they'd never know.

-

By the time Samantha left Clover's apartment, the sky was pitch black outside. The only lighting was the dim lights coming from the rooms of residents in the flats. Samantha didn't mind, though. They knew the path they were about to take by heart.

-

Jason Lee Anson
05. 06. 2000 - 08. 03. 2021
Beloved by all who knew him
The song ended but the melody lingers on

"Hi. It's Samantha. Lucian's dead. So are our parents. I really wish you were here right now, because everything's confusing and you'd know what to do to make it all make sense. I don't. You know, Lucian saw me in an FBI negotiator vest. I was terrified, but you should've seen the look on his face. Almost made everything worth it." She smiled, before looking back down at her hands. "You know, you really should've been there. You deserved to see that place burn to the ground more than I did."

Samantha was silent for a moment, and then realised that they were the only Anson left. They had no one.