We descend into the atmosphere to find a watery planet consumed by storms and immediately something feels off. There's no need to confirm it with him because I know he feels it too.

"There," I say pointing to a settlement and he finds a landing hub whilst I quickly braid my hair, having a feeling this is definitely going to end in a fight. 

Upon landing I stand and secure my weapons belt, only to still when I feel his hand on my arm and look up at him in surprise as he wraps his cloak around my shoulders to protect me from the rain and I smile up at him at the gesture. 

"Thank you," I say softly and he squeezes my shoulder with an equally soft smile.

"Come on," he says with a hand on my back as we exit my ship and hurry through the rain to get indoors, him catching my arm as I almost slip and we're both laughing as we head in through the doors. 

He's soaking wet but he doesn't seem to overly mind considering the thickness of his robes and I wrap his cloak tight around me as we walk through the entrance and we're surprised to find one of their species already waiting for us.

"Master Jedi," she addresses Obi-Wan. "The Prime Minister is expecting you."

"Expecting?" I repeat and Obi-Wan blinks in confusion, almost flattered.

"We're expected?"

"Of course," she says as if it is obvious. "He is anxious to meet you. After all these years we were beginning to think you weren't coming. Now please, this way."

We share a look to make sure we heard that right, and he keeps a hand on my back as she guides us through the building, something about the very design of the place feels uncomfortably clinical and sure enough the white light is blinding as we're brought into a room where a man who must be the Prime Minister waits for us.

"May I present, Lama Su, Prime Minister of Kamino."

We both bow our heads in customary respect, or at least hoping that's the custom.

"And this is Master Jedi..."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," he answers and introduces me formally "And Lady Rhea Amidala, General of Naboo."

"I trust you are going to enjoy your stay," the Prime Minister says, inviting us to sit in the pod chairs that are lowered.

I sit with my legs crossed and back straight, having had my lacking regalness of youth quickly beat into me by Count Dooku, while Obi-Wan leans forward with his legs spread, truly commanding attention without even realising it. Even now soaked from the rain, or rather especially so, he truly is a sight. Quickly I pull my eyes from him as the Prime Minister begins speaking.

"And now to business, you will be delighted to hear that we are on schedule." At the next words I go cold. "Two hundred thousand units ready with a million more well on the way."

I gulp feeling a chill wash over me and look to Obi-Wan who struggles to hide his bewilderment. "That's... good news."

"Please tell your Master Sifo Dyas that his order will be met on time."

For me the name is vaguely familiar, but Obi-Wan asks them to repeat it as if he's not hearing them right.

"I'm sorry, master...?"

"Jedi Master Sifo Dyas is still a leading member on the Jedi Council, is he not?"

I know enough to come to the conclusion that he certainly is not.

Obi-Wan glances at me, a brief flash of panic in his eyes before he says "Master Sifo Dyas was killed almost ten years ago."

"Oh," the Prime Minister says, surprised. "I am so sorry to hear that, but I'm sure he would have been proud of the army we've built for him."

The air goes cold and Obi-Wan looks at me as I sit there dumbfounded. This- this isn't the army Dooku's been trying to acquire, he wants battle droids not whatever cloners make.

"Army?" I repeat and try to make it seem like we are aware of it. "I have built an army myself for Naboo, please tell me of the one you have built."

"A clone army," he clarifies and I try to keep my face neutral. "And I must say, one of the finest we've ever created."

"Tell me Prime Minister, when my master first contacted you about the army did he say who it was for?" Obi-Wan asks, likely suspecting what I do, that it's for the Separatists but neither of us could have expected the answer.

"Of course he did," he answers. "This army is for the Republic."

That's when my stomach falls. The Military Creation Act. It's already underway, it has been for years. This attempt might not be Dooku's work after all if the bounty hunter is working with the Kaminoans, it's the Republic. Of course they would try to kill the leader of the opposition when their army has already been created.

I need to tell Padme.

Obi-Wan can sense my alarm and gives me a careful tilt of his head to remind me to keep up with the ruse and I give him a reassuring nod.

"You must be anxious to inspect the units for yourself."

"Yes," I say getting to my feet, knowing this is no longer a simple investigation into a dart, this is potentially the biggest scandal the Republic has ever faced, and my sister is leading its opposition, the very thing that has to be the reason behind the attacks. "That's why we're here, isn't it Obi-Wan?"

"Yes, it is," he says getting to his feet, more bewildered than anything else. 

And so he brings us to them.

Side by side we're led through the halls until we're brought into a factory and thankfully until now I've never seen anything like it. Obi-Wan and I's disturbance is equal as we walk past cloned fetuses in capsules.

"Very impressive," he says, hiding his horror perfectly.

"Yes," I agree, not able to do quite as good of a job as him. "I've certainly never come across anything like this."

"I'd hoped you would be pleased," the Prime Minister says. "Clones can think creatively. You will find that they are immensely superior to droids." Immediately I can name about ten violations of intergalactic law just looking at this room but still can't argue with his assessment regarding droids. If only Dooku would have bloody listened to mine. "We take great pride in our combat education and training programs. This group was created about five years ago."

He brings us to see a group of identical children, clones, all working quietly just as any other children would but this... this is science at its most horrific.

"You mentioned growth acceleration," Obi-Wan says doing the talking while I'm too shocked at what I'm seeing and what it means for Padme to have any sort of curiosity.

Despite being a Separatist I was never opposed to the bill, believing a Republic army of volunteer soldiers from willing planets would only be beneficial. It is something I had proposed to Dooku time and time again for the Confederacy. 

But not this, never this.

"Oh yes it's essential, otherwise a mature clone would take a lifetime to grow," the Prime Minister says. "Now we can do it in half the time."

"I see," Obi-Wan says as he comes to show us the adult clones dining. They talk and interact like regular men but are being kept here like prisoners and they don't even know it.

"They are totally obedient, taking any order without question," he says and that is what terrifies me the most. An army that cannot resist an order to massacre the innocent. It would make them no better than droids, only more creative in their killing. "We modified their genetic structure to make them less independent than the original host."

"And who was the original host?"

"A bounty hunter called Jango Fett."

That's when I snap out of it. "Bounty hunter?"

"Yes."

"And where is this bounty hunter now?" Obi-Wan asks, him and I needing no discussion as we stand there in unspoken agreement on the plan.

"Oh we keep him here."

"Lovely," I smile, feeling my saber on my hip. "We would be honoured to meet the host of the army."

"That is pleasing to hear," the Prime Minister says. "Apart from his pay which is considerable, Fett demanded only one thing, an unaltered clone of himself."

"A child?" I quickly realise.

"In theory, yes. Curious isn't it?"

"Unaltered?" Obi-Wan inquires.

"Pure genetic replication. No tampering with the structure to make it more docile, and no growth acceleration."

"So a child," I say again, hating the empathy that brings.

I've been prepared to kill the bounty hunter since the moment he escaped on Coruscant, but now things have become complicated. I'm many things, but I have no desire to create an orphan. Once Dooku would have called it a strength by compassion, but now I know he would only call it a weakness.

"General Amidala and I would very much like to meet this Jango Fett," Obi-Wan requests with a cautious hand on my back. 

"I would be very happy to arrange it for you."

Whilst that is organised we are taken by the woman who greeted us onto a balcony where for the first time we look below at the clones in their armour. 

A true army.

Padme needs to know.

"Magnificent aren't they?"

Horrifying is the word I'd use.

Obi-Wan moves his hand to hold mine as we look down at the horror beneath us, knowing what this means for the Republic, for the Separatists, if both sides are acquiring their own armies.

War.

"May we have a moment?" I ask our guide and she nods before dismissing herself. 

Obi-wan looks at me and squeezes my hand as he says "This- this is something else."

"This is war Obi-Wan," I say stiffly. "Padme and I have spent so long trying to prevent it, and here it is."

He nods in quiet agreement and tries to assure me "The Separatists don't have an army, this will ensure they don't go trying to start a war."

I just shake my head knowing just how wrong he is and say quietly "We need to get this information to Padme without it being intercepted, especially now we know the Republic is behind these attempts."

His brows draw together as he asks "How do you know that?"

"She is leading the opposition to this army, it makes no sense for the Separatists to be behind this when the motivation is clear," I tell him. "What better way to get this bill passed than to kill the leader of the opposition and frame the Separatists for it to ensure the senate will vote in favour of the bill to stop them."

I shouldn't be relieved but I am. Dooku isn't behind this, he isn't so far gone he'd order an attempt on my sisters life even if his master wishes it. I knew he wouldn't betray me so cruelly.

Obi-Wan sees the logic behind my reasoning but is still hesitant "You could be right, but still I want to speak to the bounty hunter to find out who exactly is ordering the attacks, if it is within the Republic then we must find out who."

A dark but reasonable thought comes to me and I propose "Who in the Senate would an army benefit the most?"

He lowers his voice as he leans in, finally scandalised "You can't be proposing the Chancellor is behind this? He may be a politician that is not to be trusted but he's the one who requested this investigation."

"Don't underestimate him, Obi-Wan," I warn him. "The guilty man always makes sure he's in control of the verdict, I would know."

"But this isn't a senate led investigation," he argues, as if they're any different. "This is a Jedi led investigation and the Chancellor has no authority over the council."

I shake my head slowly "They're one and the same Obi-Wan, you just don't see it."

His eyes widen but before this can descend into an argument our guide returns and we quickly fall silent as she says "Come, let me take you to Jango Fett."

I walk ahead of Obi-Wan now, confident in my own verdict but to trace this back to Palpatine I need further evidence and if it is... well, I have no hesitation about carrying out my own assassination attempt since I know there'll be no justice with him controlling the senate. 

We're brought to the bounty hunter's chambers, but when the door opens it's just a boy who resembles the other clones and suddenly I'm questioning my own morality knowing what I may be about to do.

"Boba, is your father here?"

"Yep," the child answers.

"We would love to meet him," I smile at the child who's none the wiser but I feel Obi-Wan's cautious eye.

"Sure."

He lets us in and calls out to his father, I feel Obi-Wan's hand on my wrist and he gives me a slight shake of his head, a single warning to not resort to violence.

"Jango welcome back," our guide says as we come face to face with the bounty hunter, absolutely identical to the clones. "Was your trip productive?"

"Fairly," he answers, calm until he catches my face but he pretends he doesn't recognise me as Padme's sister. Anyone assigned to kill her would most certainly be taking me into consideration.

"This is Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi and-"

"Rhea Amidala," I say reaching out to shake his hand firmly. "General of Naboo."

"Your clones are very impressive," Obi-Wan says stiffly, struggling to reign in his horror at it all beneath his cheery demeanour. "You must be very proud."

"I'm just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe," Jango replies and a calm anger washes over me.

"Have you made your way to Coruscant?" I ask him, not being subtle. 

"Once or twice."

"Recently?" Obi-Wan inquires, despite his refusal to see the Republic's role in this he has no desire to see Padme's attacker walk freely.

He doesn't reveal anything. "Possibly."

"Then you must know Master Sifo Dyas," Obi-Wan says, wanting to get to the bottom of this strange army the Jedi have found themselves complicit in as much as the truth behind the assassination attempt.

Jango speaks to his son in a language I don't understand and I keep my eyes on the kid who leaves to go slide a door closed before we can see what is behind it as his father asks "Master who?"

"Sifo Dyas," Obi-Wan repeats as I keep a calculating eye on the bounty hunter, questioning in this moment if having a child is enough for me to want to spare him. "Is he not the Jedi who hired you for this job?"

He steps closer to Obi-Wan, meaning to intimidate as he says "Never heard of him."

I watch the concern in the child's eyes as Obi-Wan challenges him "Really?"

But the next words leave me cold to my core "I was recruited by a man called Tyranus on one of the moons of Bogden."

"Tyranus?" I breathe and Obi-Wan immediately looks at me as he feels the shock that floods me and suddenly my saber is drawn at Jango Fetts neck.

"Rhea," Obi-Wan warns but I have no more patience for word games.

"Was it Tyranus who recruited you to murder my sister?" The bounty hunter is calm as he looks me in the eye and I demand "Tell me!"

"Yes," he answers and I can't hide the pure pain that shoots through me at those words. "I trust you know him then."

"Consider your assignment finished," I order him, something telling me he knows just who I am to Dooku and I withdraw my saber. Obi-Wan stands there in a state of shock as I tell him "I have all the information we need, we're leaving."

I don't wait for his agreement as I storm out of the room and down the halls back to my ship, unable to bring myself to believe it. That it was Dooku who paid this bounty hunter to murder my sister, after swearing to me he would never harm my family, that he would kill those who tried. I knew it, despite my denial I knew it the moment I stepped into that room on Serenno.

I believed in him, I believed in his cause, I believed in his faith in me.

That is all gone now.

"Rhea!" Obi-Wan calls out after me but I don't stop, I can't. 

This man may have been hired to kill Padme, but why is still a mystery. I don't believe it is simply because I could have revealed the truth about Dooku's plans to her, no, this was planned before that. Someone else was ordering Dooku to get rid of her, whether it was his master or a member of the Confederacy, he still ordered it. But we need to know why.

Obi-Wan doesn't manage to catch up to me until I find myself marching out into the rain and he grabs my wrist, voice firm "What do you know?" 

I struggle to form words, tears blending in with the rain as I finally force myself to believe it, that the greatest betrayal came from my own master.

"Rhea?" he breathes, looking upon me now in concern as he feels the pain, the shame. 

"I know who Tyranus is," I tell him, voice shaking. "But we need to find out where the bounty hunter is going." 

He knows we don't have time for questions and we look to the other landing dock to see a ship preparing to leave and quickly we scuttle for cover, trying to stay hidden as we sneak around but the kid spots us.

"Dad look!"

"Boba get on board!" Jango Fett yells, now wearing Mandalorian armour.

Obi-Wan and I look at each other with wide eyes, suddenly realising this is not going to end well.

He immediately brings out his saber to deflect the blaster shots while I grab out my blaster, firing at the bounty hunter from a distance only to find his armour reflects the blasts. 

Turns out it's true what they say about beskar.

"Shit," I curse, igniting my saber as he uses his jet pack to evade us and I jump using the force to try and tackle him out of the sky but I'm thrown into the side of the ship and tumble to the slick hard ground.

Just as I'm getting to my feet he fires a blast at Obi-Wan which explodes upon contact and he's thrown back. I let out a scream as the kid fires from the ship's guns at him and I look at the bounty hunter, quickly jumping to my feet and this time attacking from behind, my knees colliding with his back to bring him to the ground, turning to melee fighting to subdue him with my arm around his throat, he rolls us over, a violent struggle on the ground until Obi-Wan pulls him off me, punching him hard and I kick his legs out from under him. But as Obi-Wan goes to reach for his saber Jango uses his jet pack to jump up into the sky and shoots wire around Obi-Wans wrists, tying them together and dragging him across the slippery landing dock, but Obi-Wan uses it to his advantage, banging Jango against the ship until his jet pack is knocked off, exploding.

Jango hits the ground and I move on him, using the wire hanging from his wrist to wrap around his throat, using all my weight to pull him down as he tries to run until he slips and drags us all off the side of the platform, the wire still wrapped around Obi-Wans wrist and me caught in between. My body slams against its slope, quickly letting go of the wire to keep myself from falling but the other two aren't so lucky as they go sliding down off the platform.

I watch in horror as Jango cuts the wire and scream out as Obi-Wan falls, only to use it as a grapple to keep himself from plummeting too far and I turn my attention to the bounty hunter.

"You should have stayed away," he warns me. "Tyranus warned me you could be a problem."

"If you were a smart man you would have killed me first," I say, all qualms about killing him long gone. "You should have known I'd come to finish what you started."

He expects me to draw my saber or to use the force, what he doesn't expect is for me to kick him off the edge of the slop, except I lose my balance as well.

While he plummets fast I'm able to catch myself, grabbing onto one of the edges before slipping down to where Obi-Wan hangs and he grabs my hand, catching me.

"Really? Kicking him was your best idea!"

"You have a better one!"

He swings us onto the ramp below and we run back into the building, getting strange looks as we run through the halls and onto the landing pad only to find his ship leaving, but as it takes off Obi-Wan throws a tracker onto it and we stand there sopping wet and aching in the rain.

"We'll catch up to him," he promises me and arm in arm we stagger back to his ship and once we're inside and safely off that damn planet he looks at me with caution.

I feel his hesitation before asking the dreaded question.

"You said you know who Tyranus is?"

I give a stiff nod and know now is the moment the truth comes out.

"He's Count Dooku," I tell him, fighting tears at the betrayal and when I look at Obi-Wan I see the same sting in his own eyes.

"How do you know this?"

I'm shaking beneath his cloak as I confess "He's my master."

He keeps his face carefully neutral and I know this is nothing he has not expected, he's too smart a man to have not put it together but still I can feel the betrayal as I finally force myself to say it, and yet he still doesn't know the half of it. 

"What else?" he asks me stiffly and there's a roughness that's unlike him as he demands "You need to tell me the truth Rhea, all of it."

The tone of his voice, no matter how calm he tries to make it, still makes me defensive. 

"That Count Dooku is my master and a Separatist who's ordered my sisters death because of the Confederate secrets I know, what else is there to say?"

I feel the pure fear that's haunted me since long before Dooku and I fell out, that the council would not just fear us but condemn us. That if they knew we had the potential to create a new order they would kill us to stop it, kill us out of fear of a Sith resurgence.

Oh little did I know that it was what he planned all along and the moment I accepted his offer I'd signed my own death certificate.

"Rhea," Obi-Wan swallows, feeling my fear as he asks "Why does he go by the name Tyranus?"

"Because- because he's turned Sith," I whisper and the space between us is colder than anything I've ever felt. "I-" I shake my head, knowing he won't believe me if I say I didn't know from the start there was darkness there. "I lied." I force myself to spit it out. "To you, to the council, to myself."

He shakes his head now in horror, Dooku being my master he could have forgiven, but apprenticing for a sith...

"Why?" he asks me, his own voice shaking now. "Why would you-"

"Seven years ago Dooku asked me to come to Serenno," I begin numbly. "He knew who I was and what we did."

His voice rises slightly at the thought I'd betray our secrets, his reputation, as he exclaims. "What we did?"

"Not that," I grit out, Dooku read through the lines but I never told him the truth of Obi-Wan and I, that it was ever anything more than an emotional affair. "I meant what we did in killing Maul. He told me surviving and killing a Sith lord was no small feat, he respected me. He wanted to know the truth of his apprentices death and so I told him that and then more."

"More?" he repeats gravely.

"That the council discarded of me for my beliefs regardless of where my heart was, regardless of my willingness to return and he told me he understood."

He shakes his head slowly, seeing the manipulation. "You didn't."

"I trusted him because he was the man who trained Qui-Gon," I stammer and he can't look at me. "I needed guidance, I needed someone to tell me I still had a purpose and he did just that. He trusted Qui-Gon's judgement in me and took me as his apprentice."

"Don't," he says with a harshness that has me clamping my mouth shut. "Don't use my Masters name to excuse turning to Count Dooku and becoming his apprentice. That was all you, Qui-Gon would never have allowed-"

"He was gone," I say with tears in my throat remembering just how far I was willing to go for a purpose. "You were gone. I was lost-"

"And so you joined the lost," he replies, finally looking at me and I wish he didn't. He can't even believe the words leaving his mouth as he says "You're a Sith?"

"No!" I say quickly but he looks at me as if I'm a stranger. "Obi-Wan-"

He steps back, whatever theories he had none could have been as horrible as the truth. "Yet your master is one."

"He is not my master!" I insist, begging him to believe me. "Not anymore. Not after I turned on him when I discovered the truth."

His head falls into his hands as he leans over the co-pilots seat, eyes shut like he's in pain which he's most definitely in as he grits out. "I knew you were lying and I thought I knew why. I knew Dooku had to have trained you and that I could accept but not this. For seven years, seven years, you've been the apprentice of a Sith lord!" 

And for the first time I say the words out loud. "Was. I was the apprentice of a Sith lord."

Our eyes meet and I know this is not something he will forgive easily, if ever. "And you would have me believe that you didn't know?" 

"I knew he walked a dangerous line," I tell him but it does little to help my case. "And I know at times so did I, but I was blinded by my disillusion with the order, with the Republic-"

"So you're a Separatist now too?" he retorts, seeing how my eyes burn. "By god you are a separatist."

"You know I am!" I yell, my voice trembling with a new sort of rage at having my worst secrets attacked by the man I thought would understand them. "I told you that. You knew from the start I'd been acquainted with the Separatists!"

"Acquainted?" he questions and exclaims "There's a difference between being acquainted and this!"

"Fine," I breathe and reveal "I was a fucking architect of the Confederacy." His jaw goes slack now and that is something he could never have expected. "Is that what you want to hear? That in my anger I wanted to prove myself, that I wanted to be something greater than what I was. That I was Dooku's heir to everything until he told me he wanted to acquire a droid army and make me its grand general."

"You wouldn't-" he rejects, but yet still he somehow believes in this moment I would, and that's what hurts.

"No I wouldn't," I swallow, barely holding back my rage. "I went and told Padme that Dooku was set on war regardless of the military creation acts result. She told me to find out more and so I went back planning to be the perfect spy but just as I arrived I heard him talking to his master, Maul's master, in that very moment I was told about the bomb." 

He realises then that this is darker than he could have ever conceived "Maul's master is training Dooku now?"

"Yes and his precious master ordered him to take care of me because I was too great a threat unless I turned to the darkside, and so I turned my blade on him and escaped to get back to Padme before he could kill me." He's silent now and so I taunt. "But you know that, you found the blaster singed cloak I'd thrown off the moment I felt you in that damn elevator."

He gapes at me as he puts the timeline of this together "This- this had all happened in the hours before we saw one another again?"

There is the betrayal, that I didn't immediately run to him to tell him what had happened, that I hid the fact I had just faced down one sith lord despite having killed another together. Betrayal that instead of jumping into action I let my heart get the better of me the moment I laid eyes on him and lied so his first impression of me wouldn't be the one he carries right now.

"Yes," I say and challenge him "Go on, we can fight for hours if you believe that for a moment I would ever knowingly serve a Sith."

"Then why didn't you-"

"Because the moment you stepped into that damn room I'd forgotten everything!" I cry out and watch his face change at those words. "Everything except for you!"

He wants to fight, there's an anger in us both that I know damn well neither have us have felt since we met and he tells me "You are going to be the death of me."

"Perhaps," I say, our illusion of lost love returned to us now shattered. "But unlike you I will never compromise my ideals to blindly serve a corrupt order."

"And yet I was never the one who was blind enough to serve a Sith."

"You're right," I say, not forcing back the tears, the anger. "And he betrayed me after swearing he would never let me suffer the same fate as Qui-Gon." At the mention of his master he is utterly silent. "I tried to kill him when I discovered the truth, so go on and tell me I've gone Sith when all I have ever done is search for somebody to have faith in me."

He shakes his head in utter disbelief. "You know I always had faith in you."

There's that word that stings worse than I'd anticipated it would. "Had."

"Yes, had," he says and it's all I can do not to flinch. "How many days now have we been together without a moment's respite? How many days have you lied to me knowing that the man leading the Separatists, the people who are trying to kill your sister, is a Sith? All to save your pride."

The anger in my heart turns to numbness as I swallow that same pride and tell him "We need to go to Naboo. Padme needs to know what we just saw."

"No."

"No?" I repeat at the audacity. "I swear Obi-Wan if you are going to compromise this mission-"

"I'm not compromising anything!" he harshly berates, whatever calm he clung to disappearing the moment I question his integrity. "That is all you."

"All me?" I laugh dangerously. "Considering you've been my willing accomplice in everything we have done since the moment we met you can put in the co-ordinates and stop acting like my integrity is any less than yours."

He chooses to ignore my own accusations on our conduct and stick to the mission. "We need to be following Fett not wasting time travelling back to the mid rim to see your sister."

"Okay, so your plan is to have us follow Fett so he discovers we put a tracker on his ship?" I question and he presses his lips together, biting back whatever words he has. "No we're going to go to Naboo to let him think he's safe so we can then track him to wherever he's actually going without him trying to throw us off his trail." He might be the Jedi but this is my line of work, not his and I know just how dire this clone army is, that it takes precedence over Fett. "Now we are going to go to Padme to tell her the Republic's illegally built itself an army she's leading the opposition against, no discussion."

He angrily puts the co-ordinates in and not another word is spoken as I leave the cockpit, knowing if either of us say another word to each other we won't be making it to Naboo.

I'd rather him scream at me that I'm a traitor than have to feel the harsh disappointment instead. Perhaps ten years ago he would have yelled and lashed out in anger that would drive my own so we could scream at each other until our throats were raw and our anger was gone, but ten years of training Anakin's left him instead treating me in a way that's a brutal reminder of what he's become. 

I was wrong. It's seems that while I've changed little, he's changed more than I could have ever realised until now. No longer is he the sarcastic young man who looked at me like I was the sun, but a master fully devoted to everything I hate. 

And I hate him because I love him despite it.

More than that I hate myself for yet again putting myself in this position knowing exactly how it ended before, and still foolishly I have hope this can end in anything other than pure heartbreak again.

That will be my undoing. Hope.