22 BBY | Attack of the Clones

I go saber to saber with my master, working through the drills relentlessly. If there is one word I can use to describe my training, it is relentless.

"You are unfocused," he remarks and I hate to admit that I am as he withdraws his saber. "Another dream is it? Of your sister?" My silence is answer enough and he asks "How did it happen this time?"

"Her ship exploded upon landing," I tell him, having been left sleepless from the dreams that have haunted me the past few nights. "People want her dead because of this bill, and I just can't focus on my training if I know she is in danger and I'm not there to protect her."

"You possess a loyal and protective heart," he says and then his voice becomes curt. "But, these fears you must learn to manage. Dreams are not always prophecy as you know well." 

I give a stiff nod, not wanting to delve further into them. "Yes Master."

"Come, I believe that is enough training for today," he says guiding me over to the table. "It is time to talk business."

I follow him over and take a seat, noticeably tired from the stress of the past few days. Padme won't return my calls whilst I'm here on Serenno, not after she learned the man completing my Jedi training is the head of the Separatist cause. 

Little does she know I am an architect of it.

"Have you had any luck convincing your sister to join me for a meeting so we may discuss politics?" he asks me and I could almost laugh.

"I'd have better luck convincing her to resign her position than abandon the Republic," I regretfully inform him. "She has made herself a leading figure of the opposition within the senate, she sees its flaws but believes she can still fix it from within."

"Unfortunate indeed," he says and inquires "This revelation of you working alongside me, it has not affected your position as General?"

"Thankfully she has kept this matter between us since she knows it would jeopardise my reputation on Naboo," I sigh, not that I care much for it anymore. Since Padme joined the senate we've completed numerous missions together that have ended in combat, but thankfully Naboo hasn't faced another invasion. "It's hardly like there is much for a General of a reserve army to do but sign off on reports, for a while she had me working with her in the senate against this military creation bill as a legislator but well, she certainly won't be doing that anymore." 

"It is disappointing to hear your skills are not being utilised on Naboo," he tells me and proposes "If you were to join me publically as a second face of our cause I would create a new role for you."

I sit more upright at that proposal and ask "What role would that be?"

Since becoming his apprentice he has treated me as his second, his most trusted advisor and everyone on Serenno sees me as such. They know well an order from me is an order from Dooku, it has become a second home these past years.

"I would make you Supreme General of the Army of the Confederacy of Independent Systems," he says and I sit there utterly still. 

"General of what army?" I ask slowly and realise what he's done despite everything Padme has done to prevent conflict. "What have you done?"

"I am working to come into possession of an army battle droids," he reveals and my stomach sinks. "You need not worry about the details at this stage but when I come into possession of this army I want you at its head."

"Master," I say, unable to believe what I'm hearing. "You know very well if our cause comes into possession of an army it will be an act of war upon the Republic."

"A Republic who at this moment is trying to bring about an act to create their own."

"Which my sister is working tirelessly to defeat!" I remind him and argue "If we possess an army it is an act of war regardless of our true intentions and if I am at the head of that army I will be deemed an enemy of the Republic."

"It is only a matter of time before your loyalties become publically known," he warns me after all these years of so carefully keeping my association with Dooku and the Confederacy hidden for this very reason. "You are the general of a small reserve army on a pacifist planet, unless they are again invaded you have no purpose there. I would be giving you a true purpose."

"To make me an enemy of my own planet, of my own sister who as it stands already refuses to speak to me!" I exclaim and tell him "To buy an army goes against everything we have fought to make this Confederacy and my own people will rebuke me for leading an army that could stand against them."

He is calm despite my lack of it. "If you could convince your sister and the queen to join our confederacy it would not be an issue. You are deemed the most powerful and influential person on Naboo next to your sister," he reminds me, as if I needed the reminder of what I still have to lose. "Queens come and go, but you have stood as a force of sheer will driving the decisions of the council for the last decade as well as standing beside your sister in the senate on countless occasions. I have full faith that you can convince them to come to our side."

"No," I tell him, knowing this will be the one thing Padme would never forgive. "I will not allow myself to be disowned by my own sister." 

"Then that is a shame," he tells me and the disappointment in his voice wounds me. "You have been an architect of this cause and yet now you shy away from it, if you simply accepted my offer you would become one of the most powerful people in the galaxy." I'm sitting there shaking my head as he tries to reason "You want to right the wrongs of the Republic, imagine just what you could accomplish as head of an army with millions of battle droids at your back."

"How can you even think I would want that after the invasion," I ask him incredulously. "I would sooner single handedly march against an army of battle droids than lead one, and respectfully master I must ask what you could possibly know about creating and leading an army?"

I expect to be scolded, but he surprises me in saying "I know little. Why do you think I am asking you to be its leader? It is not flattery, it is faith in your experience as a general." I'm silent as he says "I value you and your contribution to our cause, I have long groomed you to be my second in command and now I am asking you to take what I offer."

"This army is an act of war," I tell him, knowing nothing could ever make me stand against my sister or lead an army of battle droids after what they did to my planet. "An act that will only seal the senates decision to vote for their own army. My sister leads the opposition, wait until the act is shot down and you will have no need for an army."

"I was not aware you had become a pacifist," he says, truly disappointed now. "Ironically you and your sister are both fighting against the same inevitability like fools. If only you embraced the truth and all of the force, you and I would be unstoppable."

"All of the force?" I repeat, not knowing what that has to do with the conversation at hand but then slowly I understand. "I embrace what I need, nothing more."

"And that is what is stopping you from reaching your full potential," he says and I look at him now in apprehension. "You have achieved mastery in your lightsaber techniques that many masters could never even dream of, and yet when it comes to using the force itself you are holding yourself back from your true power."

"Because I have no need for such power," I say standing my ground. "Such power is corrosive, I have no interest in it."

Now his patience grows thin. "You have been my apprentice for the better part of a decade and yet you still hold onto the Jedi's teachings." He suddenly slams his hand down on the table and I flinch "It is that very thinking that will be your death, such as your test in those caves in which you elected to die rather than to use your true power to save yourself."

The mention of that ordeal makes me ill. "You left me trapped beneath rubble starving of oxygen until I was all but dead!"

"It was a test," he refutes. "To channel your emotions into something truly powerful to save yourself from that fate and you failed."

"It was not my emotions you wanted me to channel it was fear," I insist but just as I say those words it dawns on me. "It was darkness."

"Exactly," he says and I go cold. "I have trained you to be as great of a Jedi as I can, but there is still so much more I could teach you if only you embraced it." He sees it in my eyes, the realisation. "You are nothing if not inquisitive, you cannot tell me you have not known I have delved into the darker side of the force. It is nothing to be afraid of."

And there it is.

I always knew it, at times so have I knowing the force isn't as black and white as the council would believe, but it's now I see Dooku's tactics for what they are.

"And at what point did you decide you would manipulate me so I would embrace it?" I ask him, replaying our meeting in my head and finally seeing how he twisted me to his side. "At what point did you decide to throw me into test after test leaving me isolated in fear and anger and desperation to try to turn me?"

"This is why I took you as my apprentice," he tells me as darkness suddenly fills the room and I realise he has seized to conceal what was always there, what I've never truly felt until now. "You have an innate ability to see clearly and understand motives others would be blind to. You have never been wrong in your conclusions, it is brilliance of the mind as well as intuition. If you were to embrace the darkness you would be able to do so much more."

"The sith are evil," I say, utterly numb now the veil covering every conversation we've ever had is stripped away and I see them for what they were. Every attempt to sympathise, to share my anger and doubt was all to stir resentment, to distance me from those Jedi ideals he so despises and sees as my ultimate weakness. To make me believe what he has come to believe, that anything is excusable in the course of justice. "They go against everything we have fought to destroy."

"Do you truly think I am the same creature Maul was?" he asks me, genuinely offended. "I simply see the force for what it is and do not fear the darkness. Embracing it will only strengthen your innate abilities and I believe with my guidance you will finally be able to wield lightning, a weapon above all others, you are already halfway there. Do you not think for years I haven't been preparing you for it? That my teachings were truly that of a Jedi's?" And again, he tries to twist my mind as I question everything, my training, how much of what he's taught me stems from darkness. "The Sith do stand against everything we have fought to destroy, but darkness is not inherently evil. To destroy darkness we must not just wield it but master it."

"Is that not how one becomes the darkness they've sought to destroy?" I ask him now, not the only one who can twist someone's mind and see the contemplation in his eyes at those words. 

"Tell me, when you and young Kenobi fought Maul, was it light that killed him?" He knows using Obi-Wan hits me in a vulnerable place. "Were you and Kenobi driven by peace and justice when you attempted to kill him with your bare hands and he cut Maul in half in the way he taught was the most barbaric method of execution?" I stare past him at the stained glass window, trying to keep my composure as he continues "Or was it fear? Fear of losing each other to the Sith, and then anger at watching him toy with you. It was not light that destroyed Maul, it was the darkness that gave you both the strength to defeat him."

"And yet we did not hold onto it," I say, knowing the consequences of such things. "We used it to save our lives, and that was it."

"A miracle," he scoffs and asks me. "What if you were alone? What if it was young Kenobi who faced Maul alone as you were trapped behind that shield watching? What if you watched Maul strike him down-"

"Don't," I say harshly, not knowing why after all these years without a single mention of Obi-Wan he's suddenly using him against me. "Don't you dare go there."

But he does "What if it was your sister?" At the mention of her I go cold and there's a sick pleasure in his eye at seeing the anger that rises in me. "What if you watched her die and were told that if you only embraced the darkness you could have saved her?" It's with the next words I know the truth "You see visions of her being assassinated and yet you still shy away from the power that could save her."

"You're putting those visions in my head," I realise, feeling the sting of betrayal as I get to my feet and put distance between us. "You're doing this for what? To turn me to the darkness?"

"I am only showing you what will happen if you remain on the path you are on," he tells me and says "But if you were to change paths you would not have to walk it alone."

"What?" I question, still unable to believe the words I'm hearing after all these years as his apprentice.

"Kenobi," he says, truly daring to go there. "I have long sensed what you have refused to admit, the bond between you that Qui-Gon felt, a vergence in the force. It is no mere coincidence you met at the same time the boy was discovered and with your persuasion I am confident he and his apprentice would come to our side. The beginning of a new order." Ttears burn in my eyes as he says "An order where you could be with him."

"Stop!" I finally snap, seeing what I thought was pure intention for what it is now. Pure manipulation. "How dare you?" My voice raises as I slam my hand down hard upon the table so hard I know the strength is not mine alone but enhanced by my anger. "All these years and this has been your purpose? To use me to further propel yourself into power!"

"Why else?" he asks me and I step away from him. "Why else would I take you as my student? That is not to say I have been ingenuine in my desire to make you my second. After all, why would I invest so many years to just discard of you."

"Damn you," I breathe, trembling as the scale of this betrayal hits me.

"I am merely being honest," he says as if none of this should wound me. "I seek to prepare you for a coming darkness, to make you powerful enough that together you and I will be able to end it."

I look at my master, wanting to scream, wanting to fight, but yet I have no voice left as I turn my back on him and head out the door without another word and his voice echoes as he calls out "You can walk away now, but you will return. You are nothing without what I have given you."

~

After a long and silent flight I sit inside Padme's room in the palace waiting for her. Since she would refuse to see me if I gave notice breaking and entering seems like the best option.

All I wanted was to complete my training, to be mentored by someone who believed in what I did. Never this. Never complicit in an army that could very well start a war. If not wanting to be at the head of a battle droid army makes me a pacifist then so be it.

And yet that is only part of what has become so terribly twisted.

I did know, I knew he'd delved into the darker side, how could I not? In his teachings when he'd stress the importance of not fearing the aspects the Jedi did, of exploring the darkness and how emotions serve as a pool of strength to draw from. I did so and I did it damn well, but then came the tests, tests that were pure torture all in the name of making me stronger, teaching me how to survive. Somehow bit by bit that torture had broken my will just enough to keep me under his thumb when things truly became dark.

But this... this I cannot stand.

The door opens and Padme stops when she sees me, looking at me with hesitation.

"What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk," I say getting up to go to her but she steps back. "Padme-"

"I made it very clear we have nothing to talk about while you serve Count Dooku," she says harshly. "Are you aware you are committing treason?"

"Yes," I say, having no will to defend myself anymore. "Yes I am, I am committing treason against my Master by coming here to tell you what he's about to do."

Her eyes widen and she shuts the door behind her and only then sees the fear in my eyes, the panic, the madness that drove me straight here to her.

"Rhea, what's happened?"

"He has asked me to be the head of his army," I tell her and she gapes at those words.

"Army?"

And so I tell her the truth that is treason "An army of battle droids."

"What?" she breathes turning an awful shade of white, sharing my horror after the Invasion.

"He has told me he has not acquired them yet, but he is planning on acquiring an army regardless of if you are successful in fighting the bill," I tell her and step forward, taking her hands in mine. "I fought with him, telling him to wait until you struck down the bill for the Republics own army but he won't." It's only as I tell her now I truly believe the words. "Padme, he is preparing for war."

She steps away with a hand on her chest and sits down, shaking her head "No- if Dooku acquires an army then the senate will vote in favour of creating our own."

"I know," I say quietly. "Which is why I am telling you this, so you can prepare."

"What else do you know?" she asks me and sees my hesitation. "Rhea, I need to know everything."

"He would not say where he plans to acquire them or when," I tell her, trying to think logically but everything is clouded. "He told me he wanted me at it's head as grand general before I berated him for daring to think I would ever do such a thing and left."

"You need to find out where he plans to get this army," she tells me and I realise what she's asking me to do. "Rhea this is greater than loyalty-"

"I'll do it," I say shortly and she's surprised I agreed so easily, but she should know by now my loyalty is to her above all others. "I'll find out what we need to know."

She's still horrified, knowing what this means for the Separatists, for the Republic, for everyone and especially us. "I'm leaving for Coruscant and will take this information with me into the senate as I prepare for the next round of debates surrounding the bill, if you can get me any more information before I meet with the senate I would be in your debt."

"We're sisters Padme, there aren't any debts," I tell her and stress "You need to keep this to yourself for your own safety. If this information is leaked Dooku will know it was me who gave it to you."

"Then it will remain with me until we can reassess the situation," she says and takes my hands in hers, the first time in months there's been a gentle moment between us since Dooku revealed himself as head of the Confederacy. She knew he was completing my training, but never the rest until then. "Thank you, thank you for coming here and telling me this, I know we haven't-"

I raise a hand to stop her and assure her "You were right to be angry. My views on the Republic have not changed and the Separatist cause is just, or at least it was, I just- I just never thought Dooku would ever do this." I swallow hard and force myself to pull it together. "I will get the information you need."

Her face is filled with concern as she says "Just be careful."

"Of course," I assure her, but I've never been careful.

~

After another long flight to Serenno I arrive, questioning everything and everyone, questioning my master, myself, my teachings. Almost seven years of my life, a lie.

And so when I enter the castle I'm prepared to betray him just as he has betrayed me.

"The count is in a meeting," the protocol droid says as I head for the lift.

"How tragic," I dismiss as I step inside the lift despite its arguments and head to the top floor prepared to grovel, to tell him I've changed my mind, that I hate the Republic more than I love my family, to betray myself in betraying him.

But as I approach the door to his office I stop at the sound of a distorted voice and the sheer darkness that accompanies it.

"Your apprentice poses a risk to us," the voice says and I hide beside the door, concealing myself in the force as I listen in.

"She is one of the greatest minds the order has had the misfortune of losing," Dooku argues in my defence to an unknown man. "I have trained her for seven long years, yes she is stubborn but she will come to our side. She is my apprentice, the only true one I have had since Qui-Gon."

Dooku is many things, but now he reveals something he's hidden, something more painful than twisted intentions and lies. The fact he truly cares for me despite all of it.

"Then control her," the distorted voice says and truly terrible fear fills me. "If she reveals our plans to her sister then both will have to die." 

Cold tears fill my eyes at those words and I'm fighting to keep myself concealed in the force.

"My apprentice is defiant, but not stupid," Dooku says, but little does he know. "I have ensured she has become estranged from her sister. Senator Amidala will not be an issue."

The bastard.

"Still her loyalties are torn, she will never join the darkside as long as her sister lives." It's the next words that leave my hands shaking. "Her time has run out."

"I will not betray my apprentice," Dooku says, and I truly feel the conflict in me now, between the master who has been a father to me these past years and my own conscience. "She is a daughter to me as Qui-Gon was a son. You allowed Maul to kill him, I will not allow her to suffer the same fate."

"Lord Tyrannus," the voice says and that's when my heart stops and I cannot believe the truth before me. That my master bows to the same Sith lord Maul once did. "Do what must be done or I will find an apprentice who will."

My masters voice is reluctant as he says "It will be done."

It is now silent and I have a trembling hand clamped over my mouth only for my comlink to light up and I'm trying to silence it as a transmission comes through from Captain Typho.

"General, General do you come in?" I curse silently as I fail to silence it and know I've been exposed but it matters little as he tells me "Your sister has survived an assassination attempt. Her ship exploded upon landing in Coruscant, she is unharmed but Corde was killed. She is anxious to speak with you."

In a state of shock I turn my comlink off and tears wet my cheeks now as I hear my Masters voice from inside his office. "You can come out Rhea, I know you are there."

Slowly reveal myself and he knows I heard everything, but as I look at him now I don't know what I can believe. Numb from the betrayal, from the attempt on my sisters life, all of it.

"Come, sit," he invites me but I remain standing where I am and he sighs "Well, it seems you have found me out."

"Why?" I ask him, my voice strained. "Why would you turn to a Sith lord?"

"To be part of something greater," he tells me, as if it's some noble thing. "Greater than the Republic or the Separatists, greater than the Jedi."

"How could you?" I ask him in pure disbelief. "After Maul killed Qui-Gon-"

"I took his place," he finishes much to my horror. "An apprentice for an apprentice my master told me." His voice becomes stiff, showing more emotion than I've ever seen from him. "I will not lose another, which is why you must join me."

"My sister," I breathe and watch something in his eyes change. "Did you know? Did you know someone would try to kill her?" And there is a fear, I cannot dare to face. "Did you have a hand in this?"

"Oh Rhea," he says and moves towards me. "I would never harm your family, I am many things but I am not foolish enough to ever put her in arms way." I stand there doubtful and he tries to reason "Why would I harm her when she is helping our cause by fighting against the Republics bill to create an army?"

"Someone tried to kill her," I grit out, remembering his warnings and it's then I reach for my saber, too numb for him to reason with. "If any separatist ordered this assassination attempt I would see to it you had them killed," I tell him plainly and warn. "Or else I would do it myself."

"You are my apprentice," he says, but the words are hollow. "All I have ever done is try to prepare you for the inevitable." His voice is the closest to a plea I've ever heard it. "You must join me and together we will eliminate whatever threat stands against your sisters life, we will kill whoever did this and together we will lead this army to protect those who cannot protect themselves."

 But I can see it in his eye, I can see the darkness that has him in its grasp and know this is a path I cannot tread. 

"I will never join the Sith."

"But you must," he tries to insist and I see the truth behind his fear.

"Or what?" I ask him as I ignite my saber. "Will you strike me down on your masters orders?"

There is regret in his eyes as he tells me "If I must, I will." I nod at those words and turn to leave only to find battle droids standing between me and the door and hear him say "I have given you a choice, but know there is only one option in which you can survive this, you can become the most powerful woman in the galaxy, heir to a new empire and head of the greatest army the galaxy has seen or you can run to your sister and make yourself my enemy. It is your choice."

And I make my choice.

For the first time I see his true saber as a blade of red collides with my own, seeing now what he is as I turn on my own master.

"So, you have chosen treason then."

"Yes," I declare and cruelly mock "Oh how Qui-Gon would be so disappointed in his master."

That strikes a nerve within him and he strikes hard as I dodge the attack and he uses the force to throw me into the table, trying to subdue me with a saber at my back.

"Your anger unbalances you," he says and criticises. "Use it to focus yourself."

And I do. I strike hard and fast knowing I cannot kill him and I can't afford to get myself killed with Padme in danger. I need to escape. And so I toy with him long enough, putting up a convincing fight as he backs me towards the stained glass wall. 

"You're weak," he says, able to feel just how wounded I am in this moment, how afraid I am for my sister and yet still doesn't realise it's all a ploy. "If you cannot kill me then surrender your blade and I will show you mercy while you reconsider my offer."

And so I kneel with tears burning in my eyes and he stands over me with his saber still drawn as I cry "I don't understand-"

"I know it hurts my child," he says as I let my shock disguise all other emotion. "But soon the pain will be nothing in comparison to the power you will wield."

I look up at him and he sees the treason in my eyes the moment before I strike, severing the chain of his cloak as he so narrowly avoids his throat being cut and I use the force to throw him across the room into his droids but then I see it, the sparks at his fingers and hit the floor just as the lightning shoots over me and shatters the glass wall, broken shards raining down upon me.

"Betraying your master, you may just have what it takes to become a Sith after all," he praises as he walks back to me, red saber dragging along the floor as I get to my feet, glass crushing beneath my boots as I come to the very edge of the now shattered wall, feeling the wind on my skin. "Surrender."

"No," I refuse and with those words throw myself off the ledge, battle droids shooting at me as I use my grapple to swing from the highest floor to hit the ground running for the hanger, having had the foresight to prepare for a quick departure. 

I'm met with half a dozen battle droids surrounding my ship but they're scrap metal on the ground by the time they catch the blue of my saber and I use the force to collapse a pillar down onto the dozen others that pursue me.

I waste no time in running inside my ship and setting course for Coruscant, lifting off the ground as more battle droids come and I realise in horror it has already begun.

He's begun acquiring his army.

~

Obi-Wan

I can't help but feel something strange in the force as Anakin and I are called to an urgent meeting with the council, but I never could have predicted the nature of the assignment we are about to take.

"This morning there was an assassination attempt made against Senator Padme Amidala," Windu tells us and immediately I feel the pure panic from Anakin that he makes little effort to hide. "Who you once knew as Queen Amidala."

"Is she hurt?" Anakin immediately asks, not needing to be told who she is.

"No," he answers much to both our reliefs. "But one of her handmaidens was killed when her ship exploded as they were disembarking."

I sigh at those words and against my better judgement ask "Was her sister on board?"

Thankfully with the years whenever Rhea has been on Coruscant they've stopped looking at me as if I'd run away with her at any given moment, that trust having been rebuilt over the years to the point where no one blinks at the question.

"Surprisingly no," Windu says and I don't know whether or not to be relieved by that fact. "Based on timing we believe the assassin waited until she was not guarding the senator."

Of course they would. "And where is she now?"

Her sister was almost assassinated, I can only imagine what state she is currently in.

"The queen has not made contact with her but her head of security confirmed she has been notified," he says and I'm immediately alarmed that Rhea has not spoken with her yet. "Senator Amidala told us her sister is all the security she wants but Chancellor Palpatine was insistent she have some form of Jedi protection."

I nod vaguely until I realise what he is saying "You are asking us to protect the senator?"

"Yes," he confirms and Anakin and I share the same anxiousness, although for very different reasons. "You are familiar with the senator and the Chancellor personally recommended the two of you take this assignment."

Knowing Rhea is not aware of this leaves me hesitant "I must say Master Windu, General Amidala will not be pleased."

"And why is this?" Yoda questions, but for once his suspicions have nothing to do with the feelings I had for her but rather her difficulty.

"Yes Master, why is this?" Anakin asks defensively, not hiding his eagerness to see Padme. 

"She will not be happy to have Jedi interfering in this matter," I warn them, and that is with our own personal history aside.

"Then so be it," Windu dismisses and my jaw tenses at the thought of seeing her under these circumstances. "The Chancellor is the one who has requested the protection and Senator Amidala has agreed to it. The General may not be pleased but after your last assignment I am sure you can work together to protect the senator."

It is that last assignment that has left me with ten years of regrets and dreams that have still not ceased. It's truly a cruel twist of fate that the moment I've begun to find peace with my lingering feelings I'm being thrown back into her path.

"Of course," I say, knowing if I protest this they'll only grow suspicious, and Anakin will only become intolerable if he thinks I'm interfering in him seeing Padme. "Is that all Master?"

Windu hesitates before saying "The senator was secretive when we acquired as to where the general was when the attack occurred which leads us to believe there could be more to this than meets the eye."

I'm utterly at a loss as to what he could be inferring.

"It is my understanding that General Amidala has lived a quiet life on Naboo these past years," I say, trying not to reveal anything, but somehow her name along with the thought of a quiet life doesn't fit. All I know is she has rarely been seen in the public eye. I'd assumed she retired, or possibly married and had a family. A thought that does pain me but I have long hoped for her happiness, so this situation does not sit right with me.

"It seems to me after speaking with Senator Amidala that her and her sister may have had a falling out," he tells me and I'm left bewildered at what could have possibly led to such a thing. "I advise you pay close attention to the General, something is amiss here."

Immediately I come to her defence "She would not partake in anything that would put her sister at risk."

Yoda raises an eyebrow at that statement. "Well Master Kenobi, know more than I or the council do it seems, trust there will be no problems in you undertaking this assignment I do."

Oh there will be.

"Not at all."

We've hardly left the council chamber when Anakin starts questioning me.

"Why would there be a problem?" he asks me as panic begins to set in. "Is it to do with Rhea?"

"She will not be pleased to see us," I warn him. "She will not approve of the Chancellor assigning us to protect the senator, she hates both the Chancellor and the Jedi."

After her first display in the senate there have been several others over the years so naturally all were dreading the day she became an official member of Senator Amidala's staff and would often speak in her absence. 

"It's more personal than that," he says and challenges me "You don't want to see her."

"I have gone to great lengths to avoid our paths crossing," I tell Anakin, having in vain tried to forget her for many years now. "She will have no interest in working alongside Jedi."

"You're afraid of seeing her," he presses and I curse silently as he goes on, remembering the conversation we had when he was younger. "You had feelings for her, didn't you?"

Knowing very well the feelings he still somehow harbours for Padme I try to use my own feelings to persuade him to put duty first.

"I did, but we both had our duties."

"But you still have feelings," he insists, and I hate how obvious even the thought of seeing her again has made them.

"It is all in the past," I tell him. "Because it has to be."

"Does it?" he questions and finally I stop.

"What?"

"If we feel something we know is right, how wrong can it be?" he argues with me and I realise he is thinking of Padme and not my own dilemma. 

"Anakin," I sigh, not needing to deal with his feelings as well. "Padme is a senator who is far older than yourself and has her duties-"

"I know," he whines, already knowing where I am going with this lecture.

"As you have yours," I remind him, not needing him to be the voice in my ear telling me everything I've been trying to block out from the voice in my own head. "And besides, it has been ten years and they have likely no doubt forgotten us."

Now that truly offends him to a point he finally shuts up so I can dwell on my own anxiousness in peace. She was not my first love, but she is the one that has haunted my dreams for a decade now. 

She was the love I'd foolishly believed was possible and even now despite my training I foolishly long to see her, to somehow be able to heal this wound through telling her the truths I never got the chance to.

Yet something tells me little healing will come of this.

All I know is that our paths first crossed for a reason, by fate's design if I could ever believe in such a thing, and I know now fate still has plans for us. Master Qui-Gon promised us as much.

I had lost faith in my belief that the force would bring us back together, and yet here we are.

As much as I want to fight it, I know by now I cannot fight the will of the force.

And so I prepare to see her again, to have my life as I know it once again destroyed and reforged by the sheer force of will that is Rhea Amidala.

I only pray that this time it will not end the same.

With our hearts in ruin.

~

Rhea

My cloak is singed with blaster holes and my hair a mess as I sit in Padme's apartment numb with a cup of caf in my hands knowing not even the strongest liquor could begin to fix just how horribly everything has gone wrong. 

"So you're finally finished with the Separatists?" Padme asks, Jar Jar and Panaka occupied elsewhere and well out of earshot.

"Yes," I say, still unable to bring myself to tell her the truth of it. That Dooku is not just a warmonger but a Sith, for that I would have to get into Jedi history and I simply do not have the energy for that right now. "I'm finished with them." 

She nods, but her mind is on far more grave matters.

"I want to know who's trying to kill me," she says, both of us mourning Corde and myself shaken to my core at how close to death she came. "She's dead, and I can't let her death go without justice."

"I know," I say quietly, burning with a deep anger at Corde's death, the girl having been a younger sister to me as all the handmaidens have been and promise her. "I'll get started on the investigation as soon as I-"

"It's already begun," she tells me and I merely nod along having expected Typho to be on it until she tells me. "I met with the Chancellor and some members of the Jedi council."

"What?" I exclaim, very quickly coming out of my state of disassociation. "Why would you-"

"Because they've unfortunately deemed the threat significant enough for Jedi intervention and protection."

"No," I refute, not wanting them anywhere near this when Dooku may be part of this plot, not to mention Dooku's actual plot to turn their chosen one to the Sith by using me and I know they would certainly not believe my innocence in this if they begin sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. "The Jedi will only hinder the investigation and the last thing we need is to have to follow the orders of whatever arrogantly righteous master they assign to us."

It's then she can't meet my eye. "Rhea, there's something you need to know."

I sigh heavily, setting my cup down as I drag a hand over my face not wanting to imagine how this can get any worse "What is it, it's not master Windu is it, or worse Mundi? If it is I might just take a saber to that massive forehead of his since he thinks he's so bloody smart." 

"Rhea," she chastises, having taken on my defiance but she has all the graciousness I've never had. "You can't say things like that."

"'The Sith can't have returned without us knowing." I find myself mocking, remembering his words well. "Well he was fucking wrong about that wasn't he?"

Perhaps I might just go to the council and expose myself just to see the look on his face when I tell them their Sith lord was right in front of them, one of them. 

"Rhea," she says, the seriousness of her voice snapping me out of it. "The Jedi they are sending..." she begins and my heart immediately stops. "It's him."

I stand, the world around me becoming distant as I pace the room with a hand on my forehead. This- this I was not prepared for. "No- no he is not-" 

"I'm sorry Rhea," Padme says, genuinely apologetic but I've already jumped into denial.

"No, call whoever and tell them you've changed your mind or to request someone else," I say quickly, knowing I cannot face Obi-Wan like this, or ever. "Hell anyone else-"

"I tried," she tells me. "But I couldn't refuse without revealing what had passed between you, your... close friendship."

"Oh you make it sound so innocent," I say, trying to laugh off the nerves while I try to fix this. "Padme I was sleeping with him not playing cards!"

"I'm aware," she assures me while I continue to freak out. "Breathe, be glad it's Obi-Wan and not a member of the council."

"I'll handle it," I decide, looking for a comlink to contact Typho."Neither of us want the Jedi to get involved so I'll stop it, let me call- I'm sure I can get someone else, hell maybe Quinlan Vos would make this bearable."

He's tolerable at the very least, not bad on the eyes either. Maybe I can end up having another affair with another Jedi, at this point nothing is too far fetched.

"Rhea," she says slowly and informs me. "Obi-Wan and Anakin will be here within the hour."

"Within the hour?" I repeat, shaking my head and look down at myself, no doubt still having glass splinters in my clothing after the fight. "No, no- I can't see him like this, not now, not after ten years."

"Rhea you look fine-" Padme begins, thinking it's just my vanity and not the fact I've committed the highest form of treason against the Jedi in apprenticing for a Sith lord, and the one who'll be investigating this mess is the one I could never bear to admit it to. 

"I don't feel fine!" I exclaim, cursing. "I should jump out another window!" 

"It will be alright," she says, used to my dramatics. "And besides I'm sure you can bend him to your will to ensure the investigation goes how you want it to."

I raise a finger as I do admit "That is true but still, this, this is bad Padme. Having the jedi involved..." Nothing about this will be alright when he'll be able to take one look at me and know something is very very wrong, not when I've become what I have, but I can't tell her that. "Padme I broke his heart!"

"And he broke yours," she reminds me as if I need it. "Ten years ago."

She was the one who found me sobbing in the palace as he left Naboo, after I tore myself from his embrace and that was how we said goodbye. Two people who loved each other but couldn't admit it, not when fate was tearing us apart.

I could have begged him to leave, to be with me, but I couldn't. I couldn't ask him to leave it all for a girl he barely knew and yet no one has ever known me as well as he did, has ever seen me as he has, and perhaps that's why the idea of seeing him again after all these years terrifies me this much.

Once I went back, needing his guidance and couldn't bring myself to do it then let alone now. Because somehow, even after all this time he still crosses my mind, still haunts my dreams, and perhaps the thought that I'm just a mere memory to him is what terrifies me the most.

"It was me who left him there Padme," I remind her and confess without filter now she's no longer fourteen. "After spending the night with him doing everything and anything as if there would be no consequence, after holding him and kissing him like I loved him I left him. I should have lied and told him I didn't love him, but no the last thing I ever did was kiss him before tearing myself away and not looking back. That was how I left him Padme, standing there shocked and heartbroken while I pretended to be stronger than I was."

The girl who left him was stronger than I could ever be now and it terrifies me knowing my heart cannot endure that pain twice and I have done quite well in protecting it from that pain until now.

"You still love him?" Padme realises and I shake my head in denial despite infiltrating the temple to see him those years ago, and even now, my own master using him to try to manipulate me.

"No- no I -" I try to make a believable lie but I can't. "It's in the past."

A lie, it was the most real thing I've ever felt.

And it still is.

"Well it's not like you've ever loved anyone else," she says and tries to calm me as I begin hyperventilating. "Rhea, it's Obi-Wan, if you're worried about how he'll react to seeing you-"

She's cut off by my own cursing as I feel it, the elevator rising and realise in absolute horror that they're here, in this building, a minute away at best.

Then I feel him.

He's here.

She recognises the look in my eyes "Rhea don't-"

But I'm already running out of the main area of the apartment where I could be seen as flight kicks in, needing to compose myself before I come face to face with him.

"Rhea, whysa you running?" Jar Jar asks as he goes to the elevator to greet them and I duck around the corner into the bedroom I use, tossing off my lightsaber and blaster singed cloak and tug off my training clothes, tossing them into the corner of the room as I hurriedly grab something decent out of my wardrobe, a red jumpsuit, one that's thankfully flattering and as I pull it on I catch my reflection in the mirror.

It's been ten years but thankfully they've been kind, my features have sharpened with age whilst my body's changed but then again I'm hardly nineteen anymore. Somehow I've lived long enough to become a grown woman, even if it doesn't feel like it. I fix my braid up, but in that moment I can hardly touch it without remembering Obi-Wan untangling it, his lips on mine as he ran his fingers through it while I gasped his name and I curse to myself, debating taking it out only to hear Jar Jar telling Padme they've arrived from the foyer.

I can't hide here forever, even if the thought is enticing. I'm holding my hand over my racing heart as I brace myself, still in denial as I tell myself she got it wrong, that they've sent someone else.

But it's the sound of his voice that makes everything real. 

"It's a great pleasure to see you again my lady."

"It's been far too long Master Kenobi."

Then suddenly I feel it, that connection that's been dormant for so many years igniting as if only a moment's passed, not a decade, and I curse to myself as I know he feels it too and take one last breath before facing him.

"Senator Amidala, is your sister..." he trails off as I emerge, and time itself stops as our eyes meet after all these years, years of missing him and cursing his name alongside my own, and yet he breathes mine as if those years were merely a blink of an eye. "Rhea."

His own name comes almost as a sigh of relief, that after all these long years of aching for him he's finally here.

And I realise then that some part of me never stopped waiting for him.

"Obi-Wan."