CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
An Outsider
November 4th, 1978.

Daphne never felt like an outsider before, like she really didn't belong--perhaps, she would have belonged if she didn't have the mark. There she was, awkwardly standing in the middle of someone's living room. Fabian had left her side for just a few seconds and yet she felt like running away or hiding herself under the covers. There were so many familiar faces, some she recalled, others she didn't. For instance, there was Emmeline Vance with whom she had shared her dorm in first year, then Peter Pettigrew in a corner with a witch she didn't know of. Of course, James Potter was there--he was everywhere.

Daphne had glanced at him rapidly but it had been enough--he was standing next to Lily Evans as he whispered something in her ear that made her cackle loudly. Sirius and Remus weren't standing far away, so was Frank Longbottom and Alice.

"Hey, sorry," Fabian appeared again, laying a hand on her lower-back and suddenly it felt like she was pulled out of her thoughts violently. Daphne smiled instantly at the contact and turned her head to meet Fabian's eyes, but was met with the other twin. "This is Gideon, my twin," he introduced as Gideon smiled.

"Fab told me what you did," he started. "I think it's really brave of you," he then added, making Daphne's heart flutter because they had been the only ones to say that to her.

"Thank you," she managed to say after a few seconds. "I'm Daphne by the way," she offered her hand which he shook happily.

Daphne had worn long sleeves for the occasion, considering it was her first meeting and somehow, despite the dark period they were going through, she still managed to find their meetings so joyful and warm. Even though she was feeling much more confident next to Fabian and Gideon, with whom she was getting along pretty fine; she could feel Sirius' eyes on her and it'd be a matter of time before he made his way to her.

"Are you alright?" Fabian queried, looking down at her. "Moody should be here any minute," he added, feeling she wasn't comfortable. After all, they weren't her type of crowd. "I'm sor--"

"Don't say you're sorry, Fab," she cut him off with a tender smile. "I'm happy to be here, I just have to get used to it," she admitted, kissing his lips softly.

"Didn't know you had a thing for traitors, Prewett," Sirius' voice echoed and she swore she could hear how the whole room got silent. She hated it. "You and my cousin then?"

Fabian sighed as he knew this was coming because Daphne had warned him about it, "Black," he nodded his head without saying more. "Yes. Your cousin and I," he replied with a smirk. "Is it a problem?"

"Yes," Sirius didn't hesitate to answer. "After everything she did, yes it is a problem."

"Pads," James stepped in, ignoring Daphne and somehow she preferred it that way. "Stop it."

"James, stop taking her side!" He argued.

James sighed, shaking his head, "I'm not taking anyone's side," he mumbled. "I'm just telling you to bugger off or Moody will do it for me," he warned.

Sirius seemed reluctant but stepped back, not looking away once and Fabian found himself doing the same thing. Daphne could feel how she was getting sick from the attention and she loathed it. Thankfully, Moody stepped in right after the small interaction. He gave everyone a look before positioning himself in front of everyone as if he was a big man, soon after Dumbledore followed.

"Thank you everyone for coming here," he started, once again looming over everyone and Daphne hated it. It felt like he had this kind of power over everyone else. "Maybe you've noticed but someone joined the Order. Daphne Rosier has deflected and chose to spy for us," he added as Sirius scoffed loudly. "Care to share your thoughts with everyone, Mr. Black?"

He flipped his hair before answering, "How can you be sure she's not with them?" He queried.

"Well, only time will tell us Mr. Black. Her story is quite--"

Lily Evans hummed, cutting him off, "What is her story then? I'd like to know since she'll be joining us."

That was the voice Daphne was scared to hear. Lily Evans felt betrayed and everyone in the room could feel it, even Daphne's throat got tighter after her question. Daphne Rosier hadn't only hidden the truth from James Potter but also Lily Evans, her dearest friend. To be honest, she had never thought how Lily would feel considering they weren't supposed to cross paths ever again after graduation.

Dumbledore nodded, casting a look over to Daphne as if he was asking permission to reveal the real reasons she was here, at this moment, in this room full of people she had probably wronged in the past, "Miss Rosier, here, chose to join us because her brother, Evan Rosier, became a death eater and somewhere along the lines she realised she was doing the wrong thing. She wishes to make amends, which I have accepted."

"How?" Another person asked from the back of the room.

"Well, Mrs. Rosier is going to spy for us."

"Spy for us?" Emmeline Vance said.

"It's mental," Remus chirped in, to all his friends' dismay. "Isn't it?" He added, casting a look at Daphne as if he was waiting for an answer.

After a moment, she shrugged and spoke up, "It's our only option," she muttered shyly. "I've proposed to help and--I'll do it, whatever it takes."

The meeting went on as Daphne stood in front of Fabian, softly pressed against him as if she was scared to leave his warmth. Being this close to him felt safe, his hands were on her waist and she didn't feel so anxious anymore. Everyone's eyes didn't matter anymore and parts of her wondered if she would have felt this good at James' side--did they even make sense?

Now that she was glancing at James and Lily, she could see it so clearly. They made total sense and she asked herself if James thought the same thing about her and Fabian.

"Love, the meeting is over," Fabian whispered in her ear as she hummed and turned on her heels to leave but someone called for her name--if she recalled, it was Moody.

"Rosier," he said as he caught up to her. "I was meant to ask you something," he started as she nodded, meaning he could go on with his request. "Would you be alright with teaching Occlumency to some people of the Order?"

"Oh, I reckon I could," he muttered. "Who needs it?"

"Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans and Emmeline Vance," he listed. "They have great skills but considering they are the ones out on the field the most, it's important for them to know Occlumency and you're the most skilled of them all," he explained.

Once again, Daphne was stuck with James Potter.

"I could do that," she responded. "Owl me the time and I'll do my best to be there," she said quietly, taking hold of Fabian's hand to walk out.

...

Lily watched--more like stared at Daphne heading out. Deep down, she always knew that something wasn't right with Daphne; especially after that attack in St Mungo's. What were the odds of her being there? She could feel the tears pricking her eyes and she hated how weak the situation made her.

Severus being a death eater was a shock but again, it was kind of obvious that he was more leaning towards the dark side but never she thought Daphne would do too--perhaps, her parents forced her but it didn't mend everything she had caused. Some of Lily's friends died or were hurt because of the group of people she was part of, she had caused an attack in a hospital. The one she worked in. And, despite Lily knowing how good Daphne could be, she couldn't help but think the attack was intentional. Daphne wasn't stupid, she knew that she worked there and that James visited. There were rumours, rubbish ones really, but apparently Voldemort was after them--her friends and her.

The whole journey to the Potter Manor was quiet, quieter than she thought it'd be. She was no stranger to James and Daphne's love story and parts of her thought they were good together, until she fell in love with James. Lily watched, she watched how James got quiet as soon as he spotted her and how he did everything he could to help her by stopping Sirius from having a go at her. She had watched back at St Mungo's how his eyes were teary and puffed by the crying or how his arms were wrapped around her, as if she was the most precious thing in the world. Lily had watched.

But as for now, she was sick of silence and she felt betrayed and hurt, "Since when do you know?"

James looked up and locked eyes with her for the first time since he saw her in that living room, "Know what, Lils?" He asked.

"Know that Daphne Rosier is a bloody death eater, James!"

Lily couldn't help it, she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks and she couldn't help to raise her voice at him. Guilty. James felt guilty.

"I wanted to tell yo--"

Oh, sick. She was going to be so sick.

"Since when, James?"

James was crying and she didn't think she had seen him like this before, "I knew since the break up," he admitted quietly but continued. "I wanted to tell you but I couldn't because--"

"--Because you care!"

"No!"

"You care about her," she repeated as he shook his head the same way a child would do. "You still care about her, that's why you wanted me to heal her in St Mungo's even though--" she took a second, trying to hide the hiccups. Lily had the hiccups whenever she got mad and was crying at the same time. "Even though she was one of them! Did you even think one little second that she could have been the reason that they were all there?"

"Yes!" He argued back but Lily knew he didn't even fathom the idea of Daphne being a bad person.

"Do...do you still love her?"

There was nothing more that she hated. Being the second choice. Lily deserved better and she knew that. She knew her worth better than anyone, and she would not accept the fact that she could have been a second choice.

"Merlin--" he ran a hand through his hair, pulling at them lightly. "She was my first love, Lily. Feelings don't leave with a snap of fingers," he explained.

Lily gasped, "So, you still love her?"

"No!--Yes but I don't love her the way I used to," he said, taking a step closer but Lily took a step back and shook her head, refusing to have him closer. "I don't love her the way I love you," he added calmly.

"James, I--"

"Please," he pleaded, taking a step back as she didn't move. His hands cupped her face and dried some tears. He hated seeing her like that. "I'm sorry for not telling you, I really am. Daphne is just a souvenir now."

"I need time," she replied after a moment. "I'll sleep at Alice and Frank's," she mumbled, slowly climbing the stairs.

Lily had been and felt betrayed many times in the past before. First, Severus--her first friend, she had never truly thought that Severus could call her names and show her hatred until they started Hogwarts. She loved him as a friend, a best friend even but somehow it wasn't good enough for Severus Snape. Of course, it had been a shock to learn that he had taken the mark but again, not really because he always had been a dark child. Then, Daphne Rosier--she could say many great things about her because they had been friends for seven years and they understood each other but she didn't think once that she would be a bad person. And now, James Potter, the boy she fell in love with. Though it was a different kind of betrayal, he hid and lied about it--he didn't tell her even though she was a danger to them.

"Lily, I love you," she heard James behind the door. "You know, Sirius knew too and I don't know why it never came up, I'm sorry. I think I wanted to protect her somehow. I felt so hurt and betrayed after the break up that I kind of lived in denial for a few months," he explained and Lily could tell that he was sitting on the floor. "Everything was so perfect before I knew about it and I didn't want to have a bad image of her, ever," he admitted.

It was quiet as Lily continued to pack, but she wanted him to go on and tell her all about it.

He let out a dry chuckle, "You've never been a second choice or a replacement for me. You're Lily Evans for Goric's sake," he exclaimed as she chuckled quietly. "I was deeply and completely in love with you but you've always turned me down and I've always made a fool of myself. I reckon Daphne kind of swooped in at the right time and for a long moment, I stopped thinking about you and how much I fancied you because she was here. And she--she loved me wholly and I loved her back so yes I still love her because feelings don't leave right away but I love you so much more, Lils. I'd do anything for you, even die if I have to."

"Oh, James," she whispered to herself. Lily wanted to stay, she wanted to walk out of the room and kiss James and tell him she loved him too but she couldn't. The mere thought of him still loving Daphne made her sick.

"Lils, please," he begged. "I'm--I feel so stupid and--" he took a pause. "Please don't leave."

Building the courage to answer, she walked closer to the door where she knew he would hear her, "I have to, James. I need space," she explained quietly. "I'm coming back, okay? I just need to figure things out," she added, running a hand through her hair.

"Will you be back in time? For Christmas, I mean?" He queried.

"I will."

Lily adored Christmas, she loved it so much even when she was a child, she would excitedly put decorations all around the house with the help of Penny and her father. Her dad would put some records that played all day long and he would take breaks to dance around the living room with them. It somehow felt sadder without him--them; considering Lily had no one from the Muggle World anymore. She had James.

"I promise I'll be back for Christmas," she added.

She heard him hum, "Alright, I'll let you pack then," he whispered.

Twenty-minutes later, when Lily had finished packing and crying, she headed out of the bedroom to an empty hallway and a quiet house. James' parents weren't back and he had apparently left, leaving her alone. With a long and exhausted sigh, she reached the porch with her bagages in hands and apparated to the only place she knew safe--Alice and Frank's flat.

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authors note, idk why but writing the james/lily part hurt me more than i thought... BUT hey, at least they didn't break up 💪🏼🥳
anyways, so so grateful for all the reads/votes! thank you to all the readers (new like old), me love you very much! MWAH 😘