CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The Graduation
June 10th, 1978

Daphne had managed to hold on throughout the whole month, she had worked hard and managed to pass her N.E.W.T.S with ease. She hadn't spoken to James once, nor his friends. Lily and she had exchanged a few words, but both were too overwhelmed with revising to try to have a proper conversation. Though their eyes had locked a few times in the Great Hall, the red-hair had waved her hand and Daphne had done the same. Her eyes would sometimes settle on James and she noticed that he would sit with his back facing her now, probably to avoid looking at her.

"I'll miss you," Lily had whispered one night when they were both in the library.

It was obvious that they wouldn't cross paths again, as painful as it sounded. Daphne had smiled softly and hugged her.

"Daph!" Evan's voice echoed through the common room as she turned on her heels, watching him walk towards her.

"Mum and Dad are here, they want to see you. Are you ready?"

Graduation's day. For a long period of time, Daphne thought she would never reach that special day because perhaps life had better plans for peaceful ones. She had put on her best dress, a green emerald one that her mum had given her in April. Even her brother did the effort to dress up.

"Alright, it's time!" Barty shouted, kissing her cheek. For some reasons, Barty was not returning home this year and Evan had told him to come home with them. So, she found herself having Barty, Evan and her parents at her own graduation. Not that she minded really. "I'm quite sad, I'll tell you that."

Regulus had already gone home since he was graduating next year and he had no need to come to Sirius' graduation. Pandora was somewhere with Xenophilius' parents because her parents had refused to show up for hers, but she didn't seem to mind so much. And as far as she was concerned, Rebecca was still getting ready.

"I'm quite sad too," she confessed with a nervous smile as they started to walk out of the common room. "Can you believe it? I'm graduating..."

Evan snorted, "I honestly don't believe it," he teased as she nudged him. "I think Bart will be sad to have you and Becca gone. He sees you like his own sister, you know," he added once Barty was with Rebecca.

"I know," she replied. "I like him. He's funny and stupid sometimes."

"Yeah."

Strolling towards the Great Hall, she could feel her throat tightening and her heart beating faster at the thought of being in the same room as everyone. Daphne never identified herself as an anxious person before but knowing James and his parents would be here, and her parents as well, was enough to make her sick. She didn't think she had felt this nervous since she had been called at the Sorting Ceremony back in 1970. After what felt like an eternity, Daphne and Evan reached their parents who were already sitting down.

"Why are Potter's parents next to ours?" Evan whispered in her ear and she froze completely. She hadn't realised the Potters were next to her, or how her Mother was having a pleasant conversation with Sirius and Euphemia. "Why is Mum having a conversation with Sirius?"

Daphne cleared her throat, "Maybe she's just playing nice, Ev. She's not Aunt Walburga after all," she answered. "Hello, Dad," she muttered, leaning down to kiss his cheek and she did the same with her Mum. "Miss Potter, Sirius," she greeted politely.

"Ah, Daffy! There you are," Sirius spoke but his tone was flat and distant. "Mum and Aunt Amalthea were just talking about James, who should be here in a moment...You know, he loves his hair," he said.

"Who doesn't?" She replied, taking a seat next to her Mother.

Her Mum turned to smile at her before speaking, "I was just telling how nice it would be for Sirius to come visit us this summer," she told her. "Of course, I was discussing it with Euphemia since she's the one taking care of him now."

"Wise of you," Daphne said, then managed to cast an unsure look towards Evan, who seemed as perpexled as she was. "Excuse me for a second..." she mumbled as she grabbed Evan's arm and pulled him out of the Great Hall.

"Has Mum gone bloody mad?" He whispered-shouted, running a hand through his hair. "Walburga might try to kill her if she knows Sirius stepped foot into the house, I'm pretty sure she will smell him as soon as she enters the house...Bloody hell."

"I don't know what she's doing or why Dad is not saying anything, but please don't say a thing," she said.

"Although, Sirius knows about me. About what I am," she murmured.

He frowned, his eyes moving to her forearm and she nodded, "How does he even have a fucking clue?"

"He's not stupid," she rolled her eyes. "Just like half of the bloody castle. It's obvious, isn't it?"

"No, it's bloody not!"

"Alright, enough Evan. Go back inside, tell Mum I need some air," she muttered, reaching for the pack of cigarettes she had hidden in her small purse. "I'll be back in ten."

She inhaled as she lit it, and blew the smoke in the air. She could hear the faint noise of people chatting in the Great Hall but outside, the birds were chirping and the sun was shining. Small footsteps were heard behind her, but she didn't bother turning around.

"Didn't your Mum forbid you to smoke, eh?" A way too familiar voice echoed through the corridor and sat next to her. James. "Lily and Mary told me that these little sticks killed a lot of Muggles."

"Aren't we stronger than Muggles?" She asked, still not turning to look at him. "For instance, we don't have that deathly disease they have. Is it cancer?"

"I reckon...But still, they're dangerous."

She snorted, "Do you also tell this to Remus? He's a heavy smoker, too."

"Remus is bloody terrifying and won't hesitate to kick my arse if I complain about his smoking habits," he mumbled. "Sirius is becoming one too."

"Speaking of your best mate...My Mum is currently inviting him to come visit us in the summer. When I left, she was discussing it with your Mum."

He released a sigh, "Bloody hell."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing."

Minutes went by as they stayed still next to each other, none of them daring to speak nor move. It seemed that both had missed each other's presence dearly. Also, she felt slightly better knowing he wasn't scared to speak or sit next to her.

"Shouldn't we go in?" He muttered minutes later, snapping Daphne from her bubble.

Daphne hummed, crushing her cigarette under her heels and rising on her feet, "I guess we should."

"You look brilliant," he whispered, clearing her throat afterwards. "Good luck, love."

Daphne stopped in her tracks, not used to hearing that nickname anymore and it was as if she could finally breathe again. Salazar, she missed it so much. Him. Everything felt right next to him, so right and yet she couldn't even reach for him like she would usually do.

"Thank you, James," she said quietly, turning her head to finally glance at him. He had a warm smile and his hair was perfectly combed. "Good luck to you, too."

The ex lovers walked back inside with their arms slightly grazing and she had to fight the urge to grab his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

"Oh, there you are!" Amalthea said, hurrying Daphne to sit down because the ceremony was about to start. James sat down next to Sirius while Daphne sat between her Mum and Euphemia Potter. "The ceremony is about to begin, dear."

"I know, I'm sorry. I needed to breathe."

"It's alright," she reassured.

Daphne listened closely as Dumbledore called for the students, she clapped her hands and cheered when she heard Sirius, Lily, Remus, Peter and James' last names. She cheered the most for Rebecca as Barty did too.

"You look amazing, Daphne," Euphemia whispered as she watched a random Hufflepuff walking towards the stage. "My boy was right about you."

"Was he?" She queried quietly, despite feeling shocked to even hear Miss Potter talk to her. "I don't think he was, Miss Potter."

"Euphemia, dear," she corrected sweetly. "I think you are exactly what my son told me."

Before she could even answer, Dumbledore was speaking again and the whole Great Hall had gone silent. Except for a few students who were still giggling quietly in the back of the room. He spoke a few words of wisdom, as usual, wished everyone a successful and safe life; people clapped loudly, embraced each other and that was when Daphne realised it was over. Perhaps books and older people were right, the real word was indeed cruel and scary. She couldn't even fully comprehend that she would never wake up in her dorm again next to Rebecca, play Quidditch, hang out with her friends or see James. Instead, she would wake up in a quiet house, attend meetings with the Dark Lord and do as he said.

"Congratulations, Daphne," Euphemia said, once the noise was dying and people were exiting the room. "I'm sure you have a beautiful life ahead of you, even if you don't believe so."

She wanted to say you are wrong, but she couldn't. James was right when he told her everything about his Mum was comforting, she hated him for being right. Her eyes were piercing and she felt as if she could read right through her, but her voice, Salazar, was sweet and motherly. Every single word she articulated were dripping like honey, and Daphne felt herself smiling as her heart warmed a little. And besides, maybe she was right, maybe Daphne did have a beautiful life ahead of her...After all the chaos of the war would be over. Well, if she managed to make it that far.

"Thank you," she replied nicely. The woman nodded her head and joined her husband.

Barty's arms swung around her neck as Evan's one did too, "Congratulations, wanker," Barty told her with a grin as she nudged him gently. "Seriously, I'm proud of you. You were the best Quidditch captain Slytherin could ever have, but also the best sister Evan and I could have."

It shouldn't make Daphne's heart skip a beat because she was used to being surrounded by Barty all the time, yet the use of a simple word was enough to make her breath shorten. Salazar, she did love these boys.

"Sod off, idiot. You are going to make me cry," she told him with a chuckle. "You're making it sound like we're never going to see each other again..."

...

James was watching from far. He was always watching nowadays. He held so much hate towards her but also so much love because he still loved her, and if he was truly honest the mark on her arm didn't mean a thing. He had seen Daphne, the real one, he had seen how kind and caring she was. The mark was just another proof that her family was insane.

He didn't miss how his Mum had talked to Daphne's Mum, how Amalthea smiled at almost everything his Mum had said. He could see how similar she was to Daphne. For mere seconds, he wondered how she could be Walburga's sister. Also, Sirius seemed at peace next to her and it didn't happen with a lot of people from his family.

"Aren't you going to congratulate Daphne, darling?" His Mum said as she stood next to him, her eyes also on her and Barty in front of them. "Is he the son of Barty Crouch?"

"Yeah, he's an idiot but she seems quite fond of him," he answered, watching as she laughed loudly at something he had said and how his arm never left her neck, keeping her closer.

She shrugged, "Maybe he isn't what you think he is," she responded.

He knew his Mum was right. She was always right.
"Why don't you go talk to her?"

"Mum...I—we can't," he muttered.

He had talked to her earlier, even though he had told himself he wouldn't but he hadn't been able to resist when he saw her alone. Lily told him she was struggling as much as him, and he didn't doubt it, not even for a second. To be honest, James hadn't been able to resist after seeing her.

"Congratulations, James!" Lily's chirpy voice echoed through his ears as he finally detached his eyes from Daphne, and found the strength to turn around. "You did great up there!"

He let out a nervous laugh, "Did I?"

"Yes, of course!" She replied, then smiled at his Mum who was still next to him. "Hello, Miss Potter!"

"Hello, dear," she responded with a loving smile.

James didn't miss how his Mum didn't correct her the way she did with Daphne: Euphemia, dear. He had tried his best not to listen, but he was too curious. He noticed how Daphne's face lit up when she congratulated her.

"Hey, Lils," he called out as he felt her hand brush up his arm. "You did great too. Congratulations," he added sweetly.

Lily smiled, tip-toed to kiss his cheek, "Thank you, James. Take care of you, yeah?" She murmured as he let out a quiet hum, watching her go.

He pondered for a few minutes if he should go talk to Daphne or not. Perhaps, she didn't want to talk to him or he didn't want to talk with her? He didn't know what he wanted anymore. On one side, he had Sirius and Remus having a nice conversation with his parents and on the other side, he had Daphne all alone. Damn him...He turned on his heels, about to walk towards her direction when he bumped right into a familiar frame. Daphne's. Had she come up to him while he had his back turned?

"Hi again," she articulated, as if she was out of breath. "I just--I wanted to say congratulations. You deserve it," she added.

James cleared his throat as his lips curled upwards, "You too, Daphne," he said and meant every single word. "Can we--Can we talk somewhere? In private, I mean."

She turned her head, noticing her Mum was talking with the Goyles and nodded. The two of them headed out of the Great Hall, and once again, it was just them. Merlin, he could kiss her right now if she was still his.

"Listen..."

"No, James," she cut him off. "Nothing has changed, I still have that horrid mark on my arm," she whispered, taking a step closer.

"But...you can--"

"No, I can't. Not everyone has a choice," she muttered. "I know you believe that we all have a choice, but I don't. I will never have one, James."

"You do have a choice!" He argued, frowning. "You did make a choice when you chose to have that bloody mark on your forearm, did you not?"

"I did it for Evan, you know that!"

He did know that. It was probably the most Daphne thing she could do: take care of her brother; yet, he still wanted to find that little reason to not love her anymore. But, how could he not love her when all the bad things she did were for love? Late at night, he sometimes found himself thinking about it and he always came back to the same answer, he would have done the same. He would have absolutely done the same for his best mates.

Everything had gone silent again. James could only think of that time in October when he told her he liked the idea of a clandestine meeting and weirdly, he still loved it.

"Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?" Her voice echoed again.

He cleared his throat, taking a deep breath, "I--No. Good luck for later and congratulations," he mumbled, turning on his heels and headed the other way.

He would get over her one day, hopefully.

—————
authors note, it's official... hogwarts chapters are over and so are my lovers, apparently... i can't wait for the next chapters because they are WAY too good

also, so sorry for the long update, i've been just enjoying summer break and spending time with my family/boyfriend!! love youuuuu all