CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
You're On Your Own
March 7th 1980

          Lily didn't think she would have to say goodbye to Petunia, ever. They hadn't seen each other since Lily announced her pregnancy and discovered at the same time that her older sister was expecting as well. It had started an argument about Lily trying to steal Petunia's thunder whenever she was around and ended up in loud weeps.

On the other hand, James didn't think he would have to leave Sirius out of his life for a moment. He couldn't even think of a life where Sirius wasn't his best mate.

Not much knew that James and Lily were going into hiding–just Daphne, Sirius and Peter. After a few days, they had managed to reach Peter and told him the news. The Longbottoms were going into hiding as well.

"Do you really need all of this?" Sirius asked as he carried the last few boxes to the living room.

Lily shrugged, "I might as well take everything because we are going to be stuck for a long time and–I'd rather not run out of things to do, you see?"

"Noted," he sighed as James gave him a light shrug. "Did you ever go to Godric's Hollow?" Sirius then asked James.

James hummed, fixing his glasses, "A few times with mum and dad," he replied. "It is not as fancy as the manor but it will work, I reckon. Lily loves it so I can't say no to her. Besides, it is in a small village and far from London."

"Good, good," he replied quietly.

Truth was that Sirius was dreading the moment he would have to leave James behind, he had never done that before and he wasn't quite sure on how to do it properly. Though, he felt lighter knowing that he was not the secret keeper—he had thought about it and knew it wouldn't be a good idea to be their secret keeper. Everyone knew that Sirius and James were best friends, brothers even so if Death Eaters ever looked for someone—it would be him first.

Since Remus was away, they settled on Peter. Their sweet childhood friend who loved to eat candies and would bring Remus chocolate on every full moon.

"Sirius?" Lily's voice echoed through the house. "Could you please come and help me for a bit?"

James gave him a smile, heading outside as Sirius went to the bathroom. Lily was sitting on the toilet, crying quietly as she hid her mouth with her hand. Sirius frowned, instantly kneeling in front of her. He reached for her arm, caressing it gently.

"What is it, Lils?" He asked.

She choked on a few tears before speaking up, "I—you can't let James see me like that or he will flip out," she warned quietly, running a hand through her hair. She scanned the room anxiously then fidgeted with her fingers. "I want to go see my sister—"

"—that twit?" He cut her off as she rolled her eyes, making him apologise. "Sorry, go on."

"Yes, I want to see that twit who is my sister," Lily continued. "It's just that—James and I won't have any contact with the exterior and I don't want to go knowing Penny loathes me."

Sirius scoffed, "I'm sure she doesn't loathe you, Lils."

"Oh, but she does!" Lily argued, looking at Sirius. "She told me that I was a freak and my baby was going to be one, and—"

"Lils," Sirius shushed her, his hand running up and down her arm. "You are far from a freak. You are the brightest witch of our time," he complimented her, making her smile softly. "Trust me, I know people and you are the brightest of them all. This is why Professor Slughorn fancied you so much, even though you are Muggleborn."

"That is nice but—"

"Alright, how about we go see your sister together?" Sirius proposed as Lily's eyes widened. "We would tell James that we are going out for food because of that little one," he stopped talking, his hand moving to her bump. "That little one needs to eat."

"Okay, yeah. I would like that," she whispered back. "Thank you."

Sirius helped Lily stand up as they headed outside. Lily took a moment to tell James they were going out and they would be back in a few. He kissed her and made Sirius promise he would take care of her. Sirius would defend Lily with his life if he had to. She was his family as much as James and he would be devastated if something happened to one of them.

"So where to?" Sirius queried, peeping at Lily on his right side.

Lily bit her lower lip anxiously, wondering if it was completely mental of her to go see Petunia now and with Sirius. But, she shook the bad thoughts away and replied, "Cokeworth."

"Where the bloody hell is this?"

"Somewhere in the Midlands," she answered truthfully. "But I have to warn you that it is far from being fancy like James's manor or–"

Sirius cut her off with a snort, "I don't care. Is it safe for you to Apparate there?"

Lily hummed, "Yes."

Apparating was not as bad as Lily expected, it turned out Sirius was pretty great at it. Maybe he had gotten practice for it before Hogwarts. James had once told her that Sirius's mum used to teach Sirius and his brother forbidden curses.

Lily felt her breath cut short as she spotted the familiar town with several streets of identical grey brick, terraced houses. On her left was a dirty river where they used to fill with litter–her father had forbidden her and Petunia to ever go near it. Ignoring Sirius's puzzled look, she started to march towards her street. Despite all being similar, Lily knew perfectly which house was hers.

"Snape lives there too?" He finally asked, cursing under his breath as he stepped into a puddle of mud. Lily stopped herself from laughing and nodded her head. "Well it is not that surprising."

"Sirius," she warned quietly. "Cokeworth is nice. You just have to live there to know it," she replied, reaching her house. "This is it," Lily stopped in front of the dark front door.

Sirius could still read her parents's names on the ringbell and his lips formed a thin line as he noticed how pensive she seemed. Lily peeked through the window and sighed loudly.

"I am not going to lie, Sirius," she started, turning on her heels to look back at him. "I really hoped they wouldn't be there–I don't know if I can do it," she added, panicking a bit.

"Hey, hey," Sirius hurried to join her side. "Everything is going to be alright. I'm here, aren't I? If needed, I can change into Padfoot and scare them?"

Lily snorted, "You wouldn't!"

He arched an eyebrow, taking it as a challenge, "Oh but I would. Just give me a sign and I will do it for you, love."

Lily smiled softly, "Thank you, Sirius."

Bringing her fist to the wooden door, she hesitated but shook her head and knocked. Nervously, she started fidgeting with her sleeve but Sirius's hand on her shoulder put her at ease. Soon enough, Vernon appeared in front of them and immediately tried to close the door but Sirius blocked it with his foot.

"Ah, now it is not a nice way to greet your sister-in-law, is it mate?" Sirius offered a cocky smile, pushing the door back open. Vernon groaned quietly, not answering his question. "Thank you for letting us in, it is kind of you," he then added, pushing Lily inside.

"Vernon, who was knocki–" Petunia's voice faded as she reached the front door, her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced between her husband and her sister. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," Lily admitted quietly and Sirius almost thought she felt shameful wanting to see her sister. He even wondered if Regulus ever felt this way before. "There is a war, Penny and I have to leave."

Petunia scoffed, "Leaving is all you do, Lily. Tell me why I am not surprised."

"It is best if you and your wicked friend leave," Vernon chirped in.

Petunia didn't bulge as Lily's hand reached her pocket, "You wouldn't dare," she snarled. "Are you going to use your stupid wand at us?"

"If he stays, I just might," Lily warned.

"Who is this anyway? Your new freaky boyfriend?"

Sirius laughed, "Sadly this magnificent pregnant woman is taken by my best mate," he told the couple.

"You are still with this Potter then?" Petunia spat with disdain.

Sirius could feel Lily fuming. She was like a volcano about to explode and destroy everything on her path, "That Potter like you call him is going to be the father of my child, your niece or nephew!" Lily shouted. "I am really exhausted from trying to mend things between us, Penny. Ever since I got that letter, all I have done is try, try and try. But all you did was call me a freak and be mean..."

"Tha–"

"It even got worse when mum and dad died," Lily cut her sister off. "At least, you listened to mum before!"

"Do not bring mum in this, Lily."

"But, I am right, am I not?" Lily shouted back. "You have been nothing but unpleasant since they passed. What have I done to you?"

Petunia gasped as if Lily should have known the answer to the question, "You and I are in two very different worlds, Lily. We haven't been sisters since you got that ridiculous letter and now–" she paused, glancing back and forth between Lily's face and her bump. "Now you are one of them. You are carrying a child that is most likely to be a freak as well!"

"Be careful," Sirius warned.

Petunia ignored him, "Do not even get me started on that Potter of yours," she spat but Lily had enough. Sirius watched as her hand hit Petunia's right cheek, Vernon let out a gasp as the slap echoed through the half empty house.

"You are crossing the line, Penny," she told her, straightening her posture and keeping herself composed. She then turned to look at Sirius and grabbed his hand. "Come on, Sirius. We are leaving...It was useless anyway," she told quietly, dragging him out of the house.

"Well, that was hell of a show," Sirius commented as soon as he heard the front door slam.

Wordlessly, she stopped walking and wrapped her arms around Sirius. He could feel his shirt getting wetter and wetter by the second, then he heard her quiet sniffles against his chest. Instantly, he put his hand on her head, rubbing it gently as he tried to comfort her.

"Lils," he whispered, not knowing what to say. Lily Evans wasn't the type to break down in front of people.

"I'm so tired," Lily admitted, crying a little more. "Am I a bad person?"

Sirius scoffed, "If anyone is a bad person, it's her," he said, referring to Petunia. "She's treating you badly and–"

"Have you ever talked to Regulus that way?" She asked, pulling away and he did his best not to notice her red eyes. "Were you that mean?"

Sirius grimaced, recalling all the times he and Regulus fought, "Sadly, I've done worse," he told her. "But...it was different, Lily. Our parents were–they were evil and it was nothing like you two are going through."

"Right," she took a moment to look around, knowing it would probably be the last time she ever set foot in Cokeworth. "I think we can leave. Would it be okay to eat something? You were right, that baby is starving," she added with a shy laugh.

"Surely. Anything for my future godson."

"We did not say anything about naming you godfather, Sirius!"

Sirius shrugged, "Well, James does talk, Lils," he told her with a grin as she shook her head.

...

Daphne put her wand down as she finished wrapping the record player she had bought for Lily. Knowing she was going into hiding made Daphne feel quite pathetic and also terrified? There was no guarantee that they would ever leave the house again and if they did, so many things could happen to them and the baby.

"Hello, love," Fabian said as he walked through the front door, returning from one of his meetings. Gideon soon followed inside. Fabian gave her a kiss. "How was your day?"

"Hello, my favourite sister-in-law," Gideon teased, nudging her side as he kissed her forehead.

Daphne sighed, "My day has been fine."

Truly, it was fine. Daphne was not going out much. She was slowly going back to society and Fabian ought to not pressure her or force her to do anything she didn't want to. So, he let her be and still stood by her side if needed.

"Nice record player," Gideon commented, noticing it on the table.

Daphne glanced at it, "Oh, that. I found it not too long ago," she said. "It's a gift."

Fabian frowned, "For who?"

"Well, Lily," she replied as if it was obvious. "We've been sending each other letters and she said today was their last day at the flat so I wanted to give her this."

"That is nice."

"Right!" She put on her coat and grabbed the package. "I will go give her this now. You two cook dinner while I'm gone, please?"

"Don't worry," Fabian said, smiling. "We got this, don't we Gid?"

Gid hummed, "All taken care of, Daph."

She smiled, kissing their cheeks, "Thanks boys."

Daphne headed outside, shivering as the cold air hit her face but despite that, a smile graced her features. She had grown to love winter, maybe because of Fabian's enthusiasm whenever winter was around but she loved it. As she walked down the street, she couldn't help but notice how the streets were awfully empty and she felt bad knowing it was partly her fault.

Finally, she reached their building and made her way to their door. Daphne knocked and waited patiently for one of them to open. Not long after, James's face appeared and he offered her a friendly smile.

"Hello, Daph," he said, not realising he had used her nickname. "Lily's not here. She's off to somewhere with Sirius."

Daphne waved a careless hand at him, "It's fine. I just needed to give that to her or to you," she replied, handing him the package. "Right, that was it."

"Wait," he stopped her from walking away. "Do you want a cup of tea? Or a beer?"

"A beer? Isn't that a Muggle alcohol?" Daphne queried, recalling a talk shared with Sirius over alcohol. "I'll have one then."

"Great," James smiled, inviting her in. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sorry for the boxes...I'm supposed to finish packing before they get home."

Daphne snorted, "Would you like some help? I mean–I haven't done much these past few weeks so I can help," she proposed as he contemplated the offer for a minute and ended up nodding. "Brilliant. I know how Lily likes to organise things so it'll be quick."

"Thanks."

Silently, they both started to finish packing the boxes and thirty minutes later, they were done. Daphne allowed herself to sit down on the nearest sofa as she waited for the beer James had promised.

"There you go," he said, handing her the glass bottle. "So, how's everything?"

It actually felt weird to sit and have a discussion about their lives. They used to think they would never share these kinds of discussions and act like distant acquaintances–or even strangers. Two years passed since graduation and everything felt so different, so far yet so close.

"Good," she said, trying to lie but she laughed right after as if she wasn't even convincing herself. "Sorry," she apologised, burying her head into her hands. James knew better so he left her to her own thoughts for a moment. "It's been shite actually."

"Figured that out," James told her, sipping on his beer.

"It's just that–" she paused then went on. "I feel so stupid without Evan around. It's like life is hollow and ridiculous. I got engaged four months ago and he was so excited for me. Now, I just feel so lonely."

"I know," James whispered, not knowing what to say. After all, she had changed and he had no idea how to comfort her anymore. Surely, a warm embrace from him would be of no help. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

James frowned, "You shouldn't hold yourself accountable for his death," he said as she shrugged, not convinced. "It is not your fault."

"But what if it is, James?" Her voice cracked, a sign that she was about to cry and James felt so helpless. "Fabian told me it wasn't my fault for their deaths but somehow I feel so responsible for it."

James assumed the use of 'their' was a reference to Regulus and Evan.

"He is right. It is not your fault," Daphne decided to drop the subject and instead ask about Lily. "Lily's brilliant. She–well, we can't wait for the baby."

Daphne smiled gently, "How does it feel to be a soon-to-be father?"

"Bloody weird," he breathed out honestly. "Didn't think I'd be a father so soon but I'm not complaining. I'm ready."

"Oh, I'm sure you are," looking down at her watch, she noticed how late it was and cursed under her breath. "I have to go, James. Fab and Gideon are waiting at home."

"Oh, of course," he told her, standing up as well so he could accompany her to the door. "Wait before you leave, what's the gift?"

"It's a record player," she answered and James smiled, knowing Lily would love it. "I know she loves them so I thought it'd make her happy."

James nodded, agreeing, "It will."

"Great. Alright, have a good night, James."

"You too, Daph," he replied. "It was nice seeing you again and everything will be alright, yeah?"

She nodded her head, smiling and waved one last time before walking away. Soon, James could not see her anymore and he walked back into the flat and closed the front door. He grabbed her bottle of beer, releasing a sigh as he realised that it would probably be the last time he would see Daphne Rosier.

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authors note, hello! i'm back with an update, kind of sappy one?? but we love it anyways 💋 thank you for 93k reads !!! we're about to reach 100k 🫣