Illegal (26) Chance

Hindi ako nakagalaw sa kinakatayuan ko habang nakatingin kay Kirk. He's smiling at me na para bang walang nangyari. Nang makabalik ako sa aking wisyo ay mabilis akong nagsalita.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?"

"I'm visiting you-"

I slapped him. All the things that we talked about last time, I remembered it again. Kung paano ako nagmakaawa sa kaniyang wag ako iwan kapalit ng paghahati namin ni Rowela sa atensiyon niya.

How could he do this to me?

Sobrang kapal naman ng mukha niya para magpakita pa sa akin!

"Stop this bullshit Kirk and tell me ano ba talaga ang ginagawa mo rito?"

"I said I'm visiting you-"

I slapped him again. He just smiled at me na mas lalo kong ikinainis, "I think I really deserve this."

Lumayo ako sa kaniya. Ayoko siyang makita. Ayoko siyang mahawakan. Kung pwede ko lang siyang itulak palabas ay gagawin ko pero alam ko namang hindi ko iyon kaya.

I'm getting week again when I'm around him.

Kumbaga, he's my kryptonite. Sa tuwing nakikita ko siya ay lalo akong nanghihina.

I felt that my knees weakened kaya natumba ako sa pagkakatayo ko na mabilis niya namang dinaluhan.

I keep on pushing him away pero nawalan ako ng lakas ng niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. I'm feeling the pain again when he left me saying that Rowela needs her more than I do.

"I'm sorry, Cassy. Give me a chance again, I'll fix this mess that I create."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita sa sinabi niya. I'm just feeling his hug while I'm crying. Siya ang nananakit sa akin pero siya rin ang may kayang magpawala ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.

He keeps on brushing my hair using his own hands.

I can't help but to think.

Anong ginagawa niya rito? Akala ko ay mas kailangan siya ni Rowela pero anong ginagawa niya rito?

"What are you doing here, Kirk? I though Rowela needs you but-"

He cut me off using his lips. Nanlaki ang mata ko. Parang sobrang tagal ko siyang hindi nahalikan because he's very aggressive while kissing me.

He started to roam his hand around my body. My eyes began to bulged when he suddenly held my mounds.

I pushed him away but shock from my voice is really obvious.

"Stop playing with me, Kirk Valencia. I'm asking you kung ano ang ginagawa mo rito?"

I covered my body with a blanket. Natatakot ako sa kaniya, bakit bigla siyang naging ganto?

Yumuko siya at pinaglaruan ang daliri niya. I was about to shoo him away again but he spoke, "I was a mess, Cassandra. I don't want you to get involved with my mess kaya ko nasabi 'yon," He paused for a moment then he looked at me, "Rowela is my girlfriend for 3 years. Masaya na sana kaming dalawa when I suddenly found out that she's cheating on me."

Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"She keeps on bugging me when I broke up with her. Nalaman niyang may nililigawan ako kaya ginulo niya ulit ang buhay ko. She confronted me one time that if I'll continue to court you, magpapakamatay siya."

He held my cheeks. I feel so numb. Hindi ako naaawa man lang sa lagay niya. Parang nawalan na ako ng pake sa mga sinasabi niya.

"I want to kiss and make up with you... nang birthday mo but I was so afraid that Rowela will find out that I hang out with you again."

Inalis ko ang kamay niya na nakahawak sa aking mukha. Taka niya akong tinignan nang tumayo ako at dumiretso sa cabinet ko.

I took there my medicine kit at bumalik kung saan siya nakaupo. Kumuha ako ng betadine at bulak at agad iyong pinahid sa sugat niya sa mukha. He winced, "Where did you get that?"

"Rowela found out that I'll go here kaya niya ako kinalmot. I'm tired of her reasons, ayoko nang magpaalipin sa kaniya kaya ako nandito. I want to fix us."

Hindi ako nagsalita sa sinabi niya at patuloy lang ako sa pag gamot sa kalmot niya sa pisngi.

Balak niyang hawakan ang kamay ko ng tapos ko na iyong gamutin pero mabilis kong naiiwas ang kamay ko.

"I'm tired too, Kirk. I was in pain when you chose her over me."

I want to cry in front of him pero walang luhang tumutulo sa mga mata ko. Sobrang manhid ko na siguro yata para hindi na ako makaramdam pa.

I looked at him, "Maaayos pa sana natin to if you didn't said that she needs you more. It's just like, you're choosing your ex girlfriend rather than me. You're prioritizing her more than--"

"Hey that's not true!"

I laughed from what he said. Anong hindi totoo sa nararamdaman ko?

I looked at him again then I pointed out my door, "You can leave."

I was about to lay on my bed when he grabbed my arm. Taka ko siyang tinitigan at halata sa mata niya ang galit.

Why is he even mad?

Bakit parang siya pa ang may karapatang magalit?

"Is that about that Sceven guy?"

Napaawang ang labi ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Paanong madadamay si Sceven dito eh problema naming dalawa to?

"Huwag mong idamay si Scevy dito-"

"And you have a nickname for him too!"

"Ikaw din naman ha! You're calling her Wela!"

Napatayo ako sa pagkakaupo ko at sinamaan siya ng tingin. Hinila ko ang damit niya hanggang sa makarating siya sa pintuan ko, "Leave now Kirk bago pa ako hindi makapagtimpi sayo."

"B-but Cassy, I'm asking for another chance. Please, I'll make it up to you. I'll stop seeing her, you know that I love--"

I cut him off using my index finger, "Stop this already, Kirk. This is my chance also to chose myself over you. Sobra akong nasaktan sa ginawa mo and besides Sceven is there for me when you leave me," I sighed heavily then I closed my eyes. I tiptoed to him and kisses him for the last time, "Goodbye Kirk."