ALEXIS' POV

A few days later, I was called to come and greet the visiting representative of the Oda forces. Sora was excited since it had been a while we spoke to our friends from the Oda forces. Sora barked at me happily and I chuckled at him.

"I'm coming, Sora, take it easy," I told him as we walked through the hallways well, I walked and he ran.

'I wonder who it is? Could be someone I know. That would be a treat.'

I thought to myself with a smile on my face. Kenshin, I was told, was already in the audience chamber with him. Once I got there, Sora was already there whining and he scratching the wood to open the door.

"Sora, stop it. You're gonna leave scratch marks."

Sora stopped clawing at the door and then he sat down while wagging his tail excitedly.

"Excuse me, it's Alexis," I announced myself before entering.

"Alexis, it's been so long!"

"Mitsunari!"

I spoke with a smile on my face.

He sat before Kenshin in the audience hall, along with some gift-bearing attendants whose faces I recognised. Sora barked happily before he ran over to Mitsunari and then he tackled him onto the ground and he started licking his face happily.

"Hahahaha!! looks like someone else is happy to see you," I spoke with a grin.

"It's good to see you again, Sora," Mitsunari told him while petting his fur after Sora stopped licking his face.

"I had no idea you were the Oda's representative!"

"Yes, I specifically requested the assignment of Lord Nobunaga," Mitsunari told me as he sat up from the floor while wiping away the dog drool from his face.

"And I had just concluded discussions with Lord Kenshin, I asked him it if would be all right to see you. I'm so pleased to have the opportunity to speak with you again, Alexis."

"I'm really happy too, Mitsunari."

It had been a long time since I'd see that familiar, friendly smile.

"Alexis, sit next to me."

Kenshin invited me over, something like a grimace on his beautiful face. I nodded my head before I approached him.

'The last time these two saw each other, they were fighting. This probably wasn't a very fun meeting for Kenshin.'

I sat down beside him and offered him my hand for support.

"...These so-called gifts of goodwill you brought, your motives are transparent."

"I hope they would be. The Oda forces value this truce with the Uesugi clan and wish for it to be known. May these pave the way to a long and happy alliance."

Mitsunari remained cool, despite Kenshin's churlish remark.

"Also, with the Lady Alexis currently residing-"

"Watch your words. There's nothing current about it. She lives here now and here she will remain."

Sora whimpered when he saw that look in Kenshin's eyes before hiding behind Mitsunari. I think I saw bushfires ignite in Kenshin's eyes.

'Uh oh! what happened? my arrival is making this all go downhill.'

I thought to myself before Mitsunari spoke up.

"How terribly rude of me. The Oda respectfully support her decision to stay, of course...as long as it is her decision."

Mitsunari stayed placid and unintimidated as he looked at me.

'He's keeping cooler than Kenshin's own vassals do around him.'

I saw in Mitsinari's gaze that all he wanted was reassurance from me.

'If everyone's worried, then I can clear this up right away.'

"Thank you, Mistunari. As I wrote in my letter, I've freely chosen to stay here with Kenshin. And yes, it's on a permanent basis. I'm sorry it was so sudden and that I didn't give a proper goodbye or thank everyone for all they'd done for me, even though I ran away from Azuchi no thanks to that Devil King..." I mumbled that last part.

"Alexis, you're so considerate."

Mitsunari's eyes widen.

"But, you didn't need to worry about that. The time you spent with us alone was thanks enough. With you and Sora gone, Azuchi Castle has become a terribly lonely place and the hallways have gotten so quiet."

I smiled a little when he said this.

'I'm sure that's largely flattery, but, I miss Azuchi at times too.'

"...As you requested, you've seen her," Kenshin spoke in a chilly tone.

"If that's all, then you may leave, Ishida Mitsunari."

"There is one final thing, Lord Kenshin, before we depart..."

Mitsunari nodded to one of his attendants, who placed a wooden box in front of me.

"Everyone at the castle chipped in to get these fabrics and some new kimonos as a gift for Alexis. We hope you'll think of all of us in Azuchi as you use them."

I opened the box and I was amazed. Rich fabrics with beautiful dyes and detailed embroidery lay inside along with some kimonos that looked beautiful and eye-catching. 

"Everyone really got these for me?"

"Of course we did. It's our hope you can make a kimono out of them to wear including the ones for your performances as a musician. I personally believe they'll look lovely on you, Azuchi's own Princess and songbird."

'I wasn't expecting a gift!'

I thought to myself as I ran my fingers over the kimonos that we brought to me as a gift and I couldn't wait to wear them for my performances.

"Tell everyone I said thank you for me."

As I smiled at him, Kenshin suddenly spoke up.

"...Are you done now?"

'That didn't sound friendly at all.'

I thought to myself as I put away the lute. Kenshin's voice could have turned the audience hall into an ice castle. Utter silence followed.

"...My apologies."

Mitsunari stared at Kenshin, prudence in his thoughtful eyes.

"I have rallied a bit too long, haven't I? I believe I shall take my leave now, Lord Kenshin."

"I appreciate you coming this long way, Ishida Mitsunari. You may report back to Nobunaga that your mission was a success."

Kenshin motioned with his hand. At once, several Iesugi vassals stood up and saw Mitsunari and his attendants to the door. 

"Be well, Alexis. I'll be looking forward to your next letter."

Sora whimpered as he pawed at Mitsunari's leg to get his attention.

"*Chuckle* I hope to see you again the next time, Sora."

Sora barked happily after Mitsunari petted his head. 

"Take care, Mitsunari. Give everyone my best."

Sora followed after Mitsunari as he and the other left.

'I'd see him out myself but, Kenshin's holding my hand VERY tightly.'

Kenshin's expression said nothing. And that said everything to me. After Mitsunari left, Kenshin and I were the only ones who remained in the audience hall. 

"Kenshin, do you want to talk about-"

"Come, Alexis."

Kenshin rose, yanking me to my feet and began walking. His grip was too firm on my arm.

'What the hell...?!'

I shouted in my head before I spoke up.

"Kenshin, that hurts! Easy up, will ya!"

"You're rebellious today. Is it from talking with Mitsunari?"

"What are you talking about? I'm the same as always."

I stopped walking, making him turn back to look at me. As our eyes met, my voice was caught in my throat. 

'Yikes! he's in some kind of bad mood right now. A really bad mood.'

Behind the usual frost of his eyes, the fires I had seen come to life burned nearly out of control. I took his hand off my arm and I took a step back from him.

"Where are you going?"

'Getting some distance from--whoa!'

He closed that distance between us almost faster than I could see, and I found my back against the wall. I didn't like the look in his eyes or the way he was pressed against me. 

"You still don't admit that you're mine. But, there are other ways to make you understand."

'I don't like what he's implying. I need to get to the bottom of this...now.'

I looked straight into those eyes, making an effort to reach him through these uncharacteristic threats. 

"Kenshin. First, it's me you're talking to. Alexis. If you're upset about something, you need to tell me what it is. I won't know otherwise."

'There. A flicker. That's right. Don't push me away with this mean talk.'

I thought to myself as my blue eyes met the mismatched eyes.

"...No. You didn't do anything wrong. Except be so well-loved."

"By you? Or do you mean by someone else, Kenshin?"

"Alexis, I..."

Kenshin took a lock of my hair, his pale fingers languidly twining it. I felt a spark. Like the two conflicting sides of Kenshin battled in that touch. 

"Tell me. What do you plan to do with the kimonos and the fabrics Mitsunari gave you? Are you going to use the fabrics to make a new kimono and wear them?"

'Is it jealously of Nobunaga and the others? is that what he's fighting? No jealously alone wouldn't cause this. This is rooted in something deeper.'

Looking into that antipodal war in his eyes, I decided to delve. 

"Do you not want me to wear them?"

"No. You can."

'Are you sure about that? Then why ask me in the first place?'

I thought to myself before Kenshin spoke up.

"But, if you do..."

"Yes?"

His long, elegant finger left my hair and traced an electric line down my collarbone, toward my chest.

"If you wear any one of those kimonos in front of me, I'm going to tear it off you."

"What?! why?"

There was danger in that cold whisper. Surprised, I searched his face again.

"Because the very thought of it stirs something...hideous inside of me. There's a part of me that says I might do something even worse than that. Even the sight of you trembling before me might not be enough to stop me," Kenshin explained to me.

'Ignoring how awful that part of you is trying to sound, I know that's not true. That's not the real you!'

I thought to myself as Kenshin's eyes were heated obsidian, almost lost to his darkness.

His finger, cool against me, connected us, as did his body against mine. But, his mind...his mind was far away. Everything he was saying was wrong. These weren't the words of my love. 

'He doesn't understand himself at all.'

The pleasure of his touch contrasted painfully with the feeling that he was tearing himself away from me. 

"Why are you saying such ugly things to me? Why are you trying to make yourself into someone you're not?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. This is me. Jealous, violent and uncontrollable. 

"Stop lying. I know you, Kenshin. You're loving and honourable and kind. I know because I love you and I've seen it. I like my friends, but, you're the one I love. A bolt of fabric or a friendly conversation can't change that...I don't get it. It's like you're worried that I'll leave you, but, I won't. No, scratch that, I'll never leave you."

I held his eyes, trying to find my way beyond both fire and frost. 

"You don't get it? No, of course not. I never had...the strength to tell you."

"Tell me now. You don't need to be strong. We're not fighting. We're allies. I'm strong enough to hear it."

Kenshin laughed but it was a laugh full of pain. More pain than one person should ever have to bear.

"Keeping it to yourself is hurting you. And that is the one way you can really hurt me. Please, tell me."

"...Alexis, I'm afraid. I'm so afraid I don't know what to do...I have the same nightmare, every night. I dream I lose you."

"Lose me?" 

I remembered the heartsick grief Kenshin had shared with me that day he'd finally told me his past.

'He'd been scared this whole time. That's what's been eating at him. And he kept it all to himself until the fear grew uncontrollable.'

I thought to myself as I stared at my lover before he spoke up.

"I'm afraid the day is coming when I lose you forever. But, lose you to what...I don't know. It makes me...miserly toward you. Possessive. Domineering. It's making me into a monster. I wanted to protect you but that gets twisted in my mind into these dark thoughts. They're taking over."

Kenshin, trembling now, hesitantly kissed the top of my head, as if that was he could allow himself to do. 

'I knew something was off. That something was about to break...That something was Kenshin. He was holding so much inside.'

My eyes had been set on healing his past to make our love stronger. But, that hid the signs that Kenshin was drowning in the present. I was almost being pulled down with him. 

"It's funny. In an awful way. I love you so much it hurts, but all I did was share my suffering with you."

When he told me this, I wondered if there was a chance that I could help him.

'Can I take away his fear?'

I felt a numbness in my cold fingers. I wondered if I wasn't up to this tremendous task. 

'No, I have to believe. Kenshin, you freed me. It's time for me to free you from your cage. Be free to enjoy what we have.'

I thought to myself after I made up my mind to be strong and sure until he believed it too.

'For now, I just want to show you how much I love you.'

"It's all right. It's all right, Kenshin.

I drew him toward me and enfolded him in my arms, body to body.

'...Because sometimes words alone aren't enough.'

"Alexis...?"

"I wasn't thrown in with you on someone's whim. Remember? I was always trying to get to know you. I didn't decide to stay because I had no choice. I could have left at any time. I didn't want to leave you. But, you don't have to worry about that or about hurting me. I'm pretty tough, you know?" I told him before I looked at him.

Kenshin's emotions trembled in his lost-looking eyes.

"Yes. you are. And yet, you're soft and warm too."

With a sigh of release, Kenshin returned my embrace. 

"You once showed me that the touch of another can be soothing. And that was while you, alone and lost on the battlefield, should have been more afraid than anyone else."

'I remember that night. I found those reserves of strength to pull  myself together because of you...'

I smiled a little when I remembered that night at the camp when I sang to him and when I soothed him.

"I needed your help more than I realised then. I still need you."

"That makes two of us. You do remember how many times you saved my life, right?"

 I asked him with a small smile.

'I was always trying to reach you. Like I could sense our connection, right from the beginning. You were strong and cool and kind. Respected and feared. A little dangerous. Beautiful. Honestly, I think you're perfect.'

Our gazes danced slowly with each other, our soft breathing the accompaniment. 

"Close your eyes, Alexis."

I sank back against the wall for support as he held me, his hands soft on my arms. Kenshin's lips brushed mine.

"I want you. I want you to feel your warmth encompassing me."

"I want that too..."

***

We returned to our room, immediately seeking solace in each other, getting clothes and other obstacles out of the way. 

"Ah, Kenshin! ohh, God...! Slower! I want you to go slower...!"

"You want me to go slower? when you're making such beautiful sounds under me?"

"It's because...I want you to draw it out..."

He held me as we moved together. He kissed me passionately everywhere I longed for his touch. It was everything I wanted him to do. Kenshin knew me and he knew my body. How to make me thrill.

'This is so good. Slow isn't working. I'm coming undone already!'

I thought to myself as Kenshin went faster.

"I...ahh, yes...I apologise in advance if I'm too loud."

"I don't want you to hold anything in. Not if I'm going to draw this out."

Sweetly, he nipped at my ear, whispering commands for me that were as seductive as his voice itself. 

"You really want me to shout...?" I asked as I stroked his cheek.

"Are you against that?"

"Aaah...No. I'm not..."

I shook my head, no longer able to form coherent words.

"I love you..."

"I can't hear you."

He ran a teasing finger slowly down my abdomen, making me tighten. 

"I love you, Kenshin...!"

"More. Show me you love me as much as I love you."

"I do..."

"I love you so much more...

"No, I-"

We let our youngest take over the argument, fierce and hot as they danced together. 

'I'll scream so loud the whole castle can hear if that's what it takes to assure you...'

Kenshin ravished me so deeply there could be no doubts we were one. I clawed his back and shoulders for proof as they dug into his skin.

'I think...I'll leave some marks. That way, you'll never again doubt how much I love you, my Kenshin.'

Though heat swelled inside my bucking body, I remembered, like Kenshin, to be gentle as I could as I marked him as mine...