ALEXIS' POV

"Alexis, over here."

"Got it," I whispered back to him.

Under the cover of night, Sasuke and I snaked into the Uesugi camp.

"Kenshin's tent is at the back. Hardly any soldiers pass by there, so you should have all the time you need to talk to him."

"Good. Now, let's not get caught by any soldiers before we get there."

I whispered as we approached the tent.

'Kenshin should be in there. What'll he say? I still haven't worked out what I'M going to say.

Nerves were settling in. My heart was pounding and my hands trembled. Sora gave me an encouraging push and then I glanced at him before I thought to myself.

'I'll just have to play it by the ear.'

I watched Sasuke approach the tent and then he spoke up.

"Lord Kenshin? Can I have a moment?"

Sasuke called to see if Kenshin was in and awake. There a reply. 

"Yes, come in."

'He sounds so different.'

Sora whimpered quietly when he also heard his voice. There was no comforting warmth in Kenshin's tone. It was dry and emotionless. Hearing him that way made my heartache. 

"I'll give you two some privacy."

Sasuke gave me a gently reassuring pat on the back.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

I ducked under the cloth flap with Sora following me, entering Kenshin's tent. 

"What are you waiting for, Sasu--"

I found Kenshin sitting there and then the irritation in his eyes left when he saw me. 

"Alexis?"

"Kenshin, it's been a while."

'This is what I've been waiting for.'

Around him was a neat line of sake bottles. Looks like he has been drinking alone. I took a few steps towards him but then, he suddenly dropped his cup with a clatter. Kenshin grabbed my arm and pulled me down to him. 

"So, Kenshin...

'...I missed you too.'

I thought to myself as I raised my eyes to look at him. He stared at me as though he didn't dare to believe that I was here. Suddenly, he began to tremble. 

"...It's happened. I've gone mad because now, I'm seeing things."

I could hear the pain in his cracked voice, it sounded raw and very real. 

'I'm sorry he's hurting but, this means he's still alive in there. That means I can still change his mind.'

"I don't know if you've been seeing things or not. I hope not, but, I promise you that I, at least, am real. I've come a very long way to see you."

"...Why?

As though still doubting his senses, he gave me a look of confusion. He let go of my arm and I took a more natural position beside him but, I immediately missed his hand. 

"Did Shingen and Yukimura bring you here?"

Kenshin asked me as he grew still again, as though the warm emotion had leaked out of him. 

'There's this stranger again.'

"You shouldn't have come here," Kenshin told me with a small frown. "I left you for a reason. Now that you're here, that's all gone astray."

"Then we'll start over by doing something better for us both."

"You..you're not making any sense."

'Please don't try to push me away. It won't work. I will help you.'

I thought to myself as I clasped Kenshin's hands, they were missing their warmth in mine.

"What are you doing?" Kenshin asked me.

'Well get to that in a second, but, I have important news first.'

"Kenshin, listen," I told him as I looked at him while holding his hands.

"Kennyo's united the local daimyo to close you in on all sides."

"He's doing what?"

"It's all written down here."

I told him as I gave him Mituhide and Mitsunari's note, which Shingen entrusted to me. Kenshin took the paper and he read it silently. Sora carefully approached him and he rested his head on Kenshin's lap. 

"I see. I thought I'd crush Kennyo soon enough, whatever he attempted but, he's more devious than I gave him credit for."

'I can't tell what he's thinking...'

Oh, I could see the smile on Kenshin's lips but, it told me nothing true. 

'I want to see into your heart.'

I mentally told him until Kenshin spoke up.

"Alexis, you need to leave."

"Give me one good reason why I should leave."

"Because you'll be hurt if you stay. That's why I placed you in that fortress."

He sounded sinister. The hair on the nape of my neck stood up. Sora backed away from him when he saw the look on his face. 

'Do you think you can scare me into complying? I won't let you.'

With this thought in mind, I told him.

"Are you planning to stay? You'll be in danger if you do."

"I'll give up my life if it keeps you safe."

"Then we'll both be in danger because I'm not going anywhere."

'He's really willing to throw his life away. Not just to lose it but to give it up. Has been thinking that way this whole time? Did he really want to die?'

I asked myself before I spoke to him.

"I care about your life, Kenshin. Don't say you'll give it up like that."

"Don't be stubborn. You came here to tell me about Kennyo's plan. You've done that. Now go back."

"No, I came here to return your heart. You dropped it...you dropped when it when I was attacked but, no worries. I kept it safe."

"My heart? that's ridiculous."

"Not as much as it might sound. Don't you feel cold, Kenshin? Don't you hurt?"

"This is silly. My heart has nothing to do with the pain or the cold I feel."

I can hear so much denial in his voice and I didn't like it. 

"I know what's causing it. It's the fighting. That's what's killing me. But, if I stop then...well, then I won't be able to protect you. I have to do it, even if it kills me. I can't trust anyone else to keep you safe. Even if you ask me to, I can't stop."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now. The man in front of me was not the man I fell in love with.

'Kenshin, can you hear yourself? Does this make any sense to you?'

He'd rationalised this torturous way for himself to die, all because the pain became too great to live with. 

'I understand the desire that's trying to take him away from me. I can see fighting that would hurt him...but, HE is hurting himself now and I came here to save him.'

I shook my head, holding his eyes. 

"You were raised by your people as their god of war. They sacrificed your mind, heart and happiness for glory. But nothing they did could kill off the loving, elegant, gentle man inside. If you die though, you will be killing the person I love. The person I want more than anything to protect in this world."

I could see the ice melting a little as I spoke. 

"You see all those other things in me?" Kenshin asked me.

"Because all I see is a perfectly trained killer whose only path - whose only gift to you - is battle. Tell me, Alexis. Why did you enter a battlefield, chasing a man like me?"

"Because I love you. Do I need a better reason? You have a talent for war, so what?! Your love is stronger than the others. Again, why should that matter? What matters is that I love you. You're important to me and you have to stop telling yourself that you're not!"

"Alexis..."

Kenshin drew in a sharp, scared breath. 

"You think fighting is all you can do? Then fight! Fight like hell, Kenshin!"

I shouted at him while pleading with him at the same time.

'You can't bring yourself to live for your own sake? all right fine. I can work with that, for you.'

"But swear to me you'll only fight for my cause...and my cause is to keep you alive and protect you. For my sake, under my orders, you will come back alive from every battle."

Kenshin stared at me for a few seconds before he finally spoke.

"Are you willing to take that responsibility? Do you know what that entails?"

"I know enough. I know it's the only way we can both live and be happy. So, yes, I'm ready. Kenshin, I charge you: protect me and what's important to me. In other words, I order you to live."

Right after I said this, I hugged him tightly. 

"...Alexis..."

His voice sounded quietly broken. 

'Oh, Kenshin...'

As though waking from a dream, he slowly put his arms around me. 

"Kenshin, it's all right," I told him.

'I've wanted to hold you for so long. I wanted to reassure you and let you know that it would be all right.'

There were tears in his eyes and that made me cry too...for love of him, for missing him for so long. 

"...Why are you doing this for me? You must know that I'm crazy. Why would...why would you still love me? I thought no one would love me again. Then you came along and now I can't live without you..."

The drops glistening in his jewelled eyes travelled down his face onto mine, warming my cheeks. 

"You won't have to. Don't let go of me and I promise we'll never be apart."

I held him so tight I couldn't tell which of us was trembling the most. 

"This wasn't your fault. This was done to you. But you can come out, I'll hold your hand the entire time."

'Your sadness and pain were too much for just one person to bear. I'll bear it with you, Kenshin. It won't crush us if we're together.'

I thought to myself as I held him tighter as we cried and nursed his old wounds together. Kenshin began to breathe more steadily and I heard his voice in my ear.

"I love you, Alexis. Thank you for loving me."