ALEXIS' POV

I lay on the futon, unable to move, I felt tender and woozy and warm with his heat inside of me. Kenshin slipped on a loose kimono which covered the marks my nails and kisses that I left on him.

"Are you all right?" Kenshin asked softly.

"I'm all right. I hope you don't need me to move for the next...few days."

Kenshin sat down beside me and he brushed his fingers over my still quivering, nearly sore legs.

"Was I too rough on you? I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. We both needed that."

Brushing my damp bangs out of my face, he looked at me carefully.

'Look at how worried he is. Has he ever shared his concern and his fear with anyone this way before?'

I didn't think so. But, while I felt so close to him, that link made my heart ache with his pain.

'He was still chained to his guilt when he chose to live with and love me. I wonder if it's even possible to free him from all that Isehime's death did to him.'

All I could do was try.

"Kenshin, you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable, but, I have a question."

"Then ask. There's no need to dance around it. Whatever it is. I'll answer it."

"All right, I appreciate that."

"What did Isehime mean to you?"

That confidence he'd just shown me buckled with my question. A myriad of emotions shifted subtly across his face. 

'It may hurt you to talk about this and I know I'm not some therapist, but I think I have to know to go forward.'

I thought to myself before Kenshin asked me.

"You really want to know?"

"Kinda."

'I'm not comparing myself to an old girlfriend. For one, they were both children at the time. But, I need to know how deeply it hurts to help you. We nearly avoided hurting each other the last time.'

I couldn't depend on hearsay anymore. I remembered my conversation with Shingen when he told me after what Kenshin did after coming back to Kasugayama only to wage war. 

'He is experiencing that crushing fear of loss. I see it in him. But, I don't just want to be his temporary relief when he's trapped in near-constant pain and fear.'

"Yes, I'd like to hear about it. But, I know it's still a painful subject for you." If it's too painful, we don't have to talk about it right now."

Kenshin shook his head before he spoke up.

"No, it's only right that you know about her. If not knowing was going to worry you, I should have shared more sooner. Fear made me negligent to you, whom I cherish above all else."

It warmed my heart to know how deeply he thought of me. 

'No matter what he tells me, I'm ready to accept it.'

As he began to talk, I saw the way his eyes darkened. Blue and green turning cold grey.

"Isehime was delicate and fair. She didn't look like the daughter of a warrior family. "

"She sounds like a Princess."

'Pretty much the opposite of me. I may be a princess by title, but, I've never been a good fit for the role.'

I thought to  myself before Kenshin continued.

"I felt responsible for her. She was dragged into this conflict and made a political hostage because of me. It's strange. It's been almost a decade and I can't say if what I felt for her was love or compassion."

For a moment, Kenshin's delicate features looked very young. 

"All I know was that she was more important to me than anything."

'That's why her death affected him so deeply.'

Kenshin stroked my hair before he continued.

"But I think now I was too young and too inexperienced to call that love."

"Do you think of love differently now?"

"Yes."

A brief sigh left his lips and he looked right at me.

"I saw love as excitement. I didn't realise love was something that can't be stopped...not until I met you."

'Oh, Kenshin...'

"I'm not replacing Isehime with you. You're nothing like her, for one thing. You were naive like she was, when you were new to this time and to this country. But you adapted and gained the strength to put up with this world. 

'He's got high estimations of me.'

I glanced away from him before I spoke up.

"I'm not sure I'm that strong-"

"I disagree," He cut me off.

"I've never met a woman as powerful and protective as you. Your courage and strength passed to me. I bound myself in the chains of my past and still, I found myself breaking out of those chains for you. 

I smiled a little when he told this.

'That just shows his own strength. But it does mean he sees me. He isn't looking for Isehime in me nor is he comparing us.'

"Thank you for doing that, Kenshin. I'm glad you did."

"You're welcome. But, I need to thank you."

Stroking my hair, Kenshin paused, as if savouring the moment. 

"Holding you gives my mind and heart peace I haven't felt in years. Having that, I don't find myself wanting to run off to battle for the forgetfulness that chaos brings."

"You mean it?"

"I do. You wanted me to find something outside of war. It's you."

I smiled when he said this.

'And just like that, I know that this crists is over.'

My fear for his safety unraveled with those few words. 

"I'm glad I asked you now. Kenshin, I'll always stay with you. For as long as it takes you to heal and more."

"I knew it. Your strength surpasses even mine."

Kenshin eased my languid body up to sitting, embracing me.

'I'm still so tender. But, I can do this.'

I nestled my head against his neck.

"I should have trusted you long ago. You'd never die suddenly on me and leave me alone."

"Nope. And I'm not planning to. I plan to live a long time with you."

"I'm still afraid. Fear's ruled me for so long, it won't be easy to change. But, you've given me hope that I can."

"I know you can. You're the one who's been so strong," I spoke with a smile on my face.

'I'm so happy right now. But, this ins't a dream like before. This is real progress. Real love.'

"And we can be so much stronger together."

"Thank you for helping me. With your help, I can move beyond it at last. I want to go into our future together."

He smiled a cautiously hopeful smile and my heart surged. 

"Hey, Kenshin, can I make a request?" I asked him.

"Ask. I'll grant all of them."

"Just one, thanks."

I snuggled closer to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Alexis? what is it?"

"I want you to come and talk to me when you're feeling those bad feelings, okay?" I told him with my arms wrapped around his neck.

'I'll be just like when we were in your camp together.'

That night where we held each other and waited for Sasuke to return. It lived on, preserved, in my mind. 

'And we're even closer now than we were then.'

I sighed a little before I spoke up.

"When you do, I'll hold you like this. Love means sharing the hard times too. Don't protect me from your fear. Let's share it until it's just a memory."

Kenshin started to speak but, his words failed to manifest. He whispered my name and rested his head against mine. Then, suddenly, he held me so tightly. 

'I can feel your heartbeat.'

It resonated with mine, each beat a response to the other's heart. 

"Alexis, I really have to thank you."

'Kenshin hated it when I thanked him. Now he's thanking me.'

I thought to myself after Kenshin told me this.

"I'm not alone and afraid anymore with you."

"Just don't make that an excuse to be reckless in battle, okay? I worry.

"I promise you I won't just count on my luck. I'll live for you."

We'd drifted apart and come into conflict so many times. Now, our feelings were united. As were we, in a sweet kiss. It was our special way to seal our oath to each other. 

***

The days were to follow were peaceful and quiet. Just what we needed to heal. I spent more time with Kenshin, doing simple tasks together. Holding hands, going on walks. As for the fabric and the kimonos that Mitsunari and the others gave me, I put them away for now. 

'I don't need a kimono to remind of my friends. The thought is enough. And Kenshin's still healing. That's where I want to focus my efforts.'

Things weren't perfect. I sometimes saw fault lines in Kenshin's eyes or heard his breath catch and still. We were crossing a long bridge made of ice. Spring lay just ahead, awaiting us. I could see it. And partway there...that was when the bridge began to break.