"I covered myself with a blanket in my dark room. Should I forget all the streets we remember? But I'm already regretting..."

~Blue Moon-Monsta X

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He'd passed out. Jungkook gave him pills, where he woke up, was definitely not Jungkook's house, and he was glad. Jungkook wasn't exactly welcoming and furthermore, this place smelled much better than Jungkook's house, which smelled strongly, and disgustingly like cinnamon.

This place was more like...perfume, soft and sweet.

He opened his eyes, seeing Jin first, and then he realized it was Jin who smelled so nice. And it was funny, before, he didn't notice, Jin smelled really very nice, like a girl almost, but just enough masculinity that it suited him.

"What the fuck...?" Yoongi asked, his voice sounding far away and small, so what he thought was a regular tone, was more then probably yelling.

Jin shushed him. "You're being too loud..."

Yoongi scrunched up his nose, closing his eyes, "For who? I don't see anyone but your handsome face."

"Well, I am handsome" Jin shook his head, "Wait, no, that's not the point," He put a finger to Yoongi's lips, "Quiet, It took a lot to get permission for this, okay, so quiet..."

Yoongi leaned his head on Jin's chest, breathing in the scent of his cologne--or perfume, he couldn't decide. He could faintly hear and feel Jin breathing and his heart beating. Jungkook cared about someone...more then he cared about himself....his dignity...

The funny part was, Yoongi was sure Pumpkin head--Kim Taehyung, didn't notice Jungkook's so-called crush at all, not that he knew him well.

He wasn't sure why, but right then, it occurred to him, I have no friends....I haven't a soul to talk to...just myself. Just Min Yoongi. Lonely Min Yoongi.

"Yah...! Seokjin-ah.." Yoongi said, still leaning against Jin's chest, eyes half closed.

Jin Sighed, "What, Yoongi?"

"Are you my friend..?"

Jin stopped walking, and looked down at Yoongi, "Are you drunk or something...?"

Yoongi sighed, "I'll take that as a no....Of course you aren't."

"I didn't say that, Yoongi. I just....see what you're doing...and I'm scared for you..." Jin put Yoongi down on something plush, not quite a bed, not quite ground, and Yoongi's eyes shot open to see Jin frowning at him, "I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. I know this is about your mom somehow....but I want to be your friend, I want to help you... but you refuse to let the right people into your life...Like you have some great expectation for it, but because it's not like how you pictured, you're giving up."

That was true, Yoongi hated to admit, but he always pictured it, while his mother was leaving angry welts on him, he'd tell himself, Just wait, one day it will be better, one day, you'll move out, and you won't have to see her, you can be happy, you can be free, the bruises will heal, everything will heal, you can be happy. He had stupid fantasies, one was just waking up and laying in bed, watching the sun rise, light streaming through the window, not having to get up or face a beating, not having to go get good grades or he'd get a beating, not waking up sore, with new scars or bruises, just waking up and being relaxed, free to take in beauty if he wanted.

What a dumb fantasy. Life could never be like that for me.

Yoongi sighed. "Jin--"

"No. Don't. It's true." Jin shook his head, "Maybe life fucked you up, I don't know...but you have to make the most of it. And I'm not stupid, I'm guessing you need friends, otherwise, why would you ask if I was your friend? Yoongi...You're going to have to tell someone the whole truth..."

Yoongi just looked away--at a shed wall he realized, then he looked around further, he was in a shed, a well kept one, clean, nicely painted, organized. Tools were neatly kept in the corner, another corner with a big net--tennis maybe, with beach balls still in their packaging, a few tennis rackets, a baseball bat, a bag of golf clubs, all looking nice and fairly new, really needing only the corner, the shed was spacious, like a one room house.

Except for a big machine in the middles of the room, all sorts of wires on it, some kind of monitor, a small metal tray on a stand attached to it, the tray having a lid, obscuring whatever was on that tray, and Yoongi had a feeling it housed quite a bit, the shed seemed to be the size it was simply to house the machine, whatever it may be, Yoongi couldn't figure it's purpose or meaning.

He sat up from his spot on the floor. He was on a sleeping bag, a pretty nice one, it soft and fluffy and a dark shade of blue, peeking inside revealed the inside to be warm black and red flannel.

"...What is this....where am I...?" Yoongi asked quietly, still taking everything in and trying to figure out what some things in the shed even were.

Jin laughed. "My Friend's shed had extra space, and figured you would be too ashamed to come home."

"Home?" Yoongi looked up at him I have no home, what are you talking about, I've got nowhere to go.

Jin gave him a look, "Yoongi, at this point, you live with us, it's been long enough, even if it's temporary, you're practically family."

Yoongi froze. Family...I want a family...somewhere to belong... Can I do that? Can I just stay with Jin and Namjoon? 

Yoongi shook his head, That was stupid...they weren't his parents, they were hardly even friends.

Jin sighed. "Look, okay, at any rate, I got you this place to stay for the night. It isn't great, but you have shelter, a warm sleeping bag," Jin paused to take a bottle of pills from his personage, "And a few of these in case you get sick. The family keeps extra bottled water in that little fridge in the corner," Jin gestured over to an area beyond that machine and out of his line of sight, "and I was told you were welcome to it." Jin stopped once again this time to check a pastel pink watch on his wrist, "Shit....I've got to go, Namjoon will wonder where I am.... but look Yoongi, this isn't that rough, I know you've probably done worse as far as sleeping arrangements so....tough it out."

With that, Jin left, and Yoongi spent a minute, actually letting it all sink in, then he got up, stumbling a little bit, standing inciting a wave of dizziness that spun the world into a light turn for a moment, but soon settled to a sort of unease that the world was in fast forward, and his brain couldn't process it fast enough, so it was a blur when he moved.

He went to the fridge, grabbed a few bottles of water, and sat back by his sleeping bag, taking a few pills to keep his stomach calm and help with the fever he could feel himself developing.

Then he laid down, having no intention to fall asleep, but falling asleep anyway. It was, after all, his favorite thing to do these days.

At least in his dream, he was free. Life wasn't like this in his dreams. 

~~~

"Hey...Hey...Sunbae..."

Someone was shaking him by the shoulder, and his first thought was to beat the shit out of whoever was making this gross offence on whatever was left of Min Yoongi.

But then he realized, Do I want Min Yoongi to live through this?

He opened his eyes, seeing what he thought was a boy at first, then realizing that it wasn't at all. "Kyung-mi? What the hell are you even doing here? I'm fucking dreaming. I've got to be..."

Kyung-mi frowned, "Sunbae, this is my shed...? My house is right outside, you're in my backyard?"

Yoongi swore softly. Of course this would be the friend Jin would ask, of course. He groaned out loud.

"Don't make that noise, I brought you some leftovers from dinner, I thought you might be hungry... and I know no one will miss a few left overs, our fridge is already pretty full, we've been eating really nice stuff since...Mom adopted my new brother..."

Yoongi eyed the picnic basket she had brought out. First off, he wondered why she'd put it in a picnic basket. Second, why she'd bothered, that must have taken time and effort, it was like she'd fixed it up for him. "Let me guess--Kim Taehyung?" Yoongi said to catch her off guard.

Kyung-mi nodded, sitting down next to him, "How did you know..?"

"Reoccurring trend."

Yoongi didn't know what that was about, why his orange pumpkin head ass was so well known but he'd heard from everyone but the pumpkin head himself.

He watched Kyung-mi open up the picnic basket, starting to take out a container of Oi Sobagi*, another little container with little biscuits, and a divider for chicken. Along with two cans of pop.

Yoongi scoffed, "You're a liar, you made this."

"Did not!!" She said, than cleared her throat.

"Looks like it. Did you prepare a meal for me?" Yoongi tilted his head like a puppy, though he didn't realize until it was too late to stop the action that it was anything like a puppy, and by then, Kyung-mi was blushing and looking away.

She mumbled something softly, he couldn't catch what it was.

"I'm gonna assume you want to eat with me? You brought two cans of pop?" Yoongi said, picking up one and opening it, the drink fizzing a bit, and he lightly slurped up the overflow to keep it from spilling.

Kyung-mi nodded shyly. "I didn't eat much...with everyone."

Yoongi frowned, "Yah, Kyung-mi-ah," He paused to take a swig of soda, the drink softly burning his tongue and throat, almost like drinking electricity. "What do you want out of life most?"

She looked at him like it was a strange question, then Yoongi's eyes traveled down to her hands, the way she was nervously picking at her nails. She can't decide if she wants to tell me. She doesn't trust me?

"Sanity...I want to be sane..." Kyung-mi answered, the words obviously coming hard, she was almost crying, her voice breaking a bit as the words came out. "I want...love...not pity, not sympathy...I want to stop hurting people to get it..."

"I do too." Yoongi said, without hesitation. It was exactly what he wanted. At this point he was doubting his sanity. Who was left if Min Yoongi was dead to him? What was left? "I want that too..."

Next thing he knew, Kyung-mi was embracing him, hugging tight, and he was trying not to spill soda everywhere.

He couldn't see her face, if she was crying, she was doing it silently, but she was hugging him so tight, he could feel her heartbeat, pounding away. Even Jae-hwa had never gotten that close. Sure, she touched, she flirted, she sat on his lap, but this seemed closer--a different kind of close.

Yoongi gently patted her back, not sure what else to do.

"Sunbae..." Kyung-mi muttered, more than likely surprised he'd touched her. "Can I tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Yoongi shrugged a bit, "Honestly, it doesn't matter to me, but why tell me anything at all, I've been a jackass to you."

Kyung-mi nodded, "That's why I can tell you, you'll....be honest with me...You won't put a bow on it."

Fair enough.

Yoongi eyed the food, "Whatever you want, as long as I can still eat."

Then Kyung-mi started, quite literally from the beginning, as far back as she could remember, Yoongi wasn't expecting that, but he listened, and he ate, and she occasionally ate a little with him.

But her tale was long, and soon there was no food left, and Yoongi moved from sitting to laying down on his stomach on the the sleeping bag, his head resting on his arms, and eventually, he was missing bits of what she was saying, the full stomach didn't help, falling asleep for a few seconds, then a few minutes--even Kyung-mi started yawning, getting tired.

Soon he was asleep, but he wasn't so much dreaming, but actively thinking about what Kyung-mi had said. He hadn't gotten a chance to give his opinion, but he knew one thing--I know what it feels like, I went through that, I felt like that....I still feel like that.I'm more like ghost-girl then I'd like to think...

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*Oi sobagi = cucumber kimchi

(See, reading fanfics is educational :333)

A/N:

haaaaai~! Bet you're wondering what Kyung-mi was talking about :OO It's next chapter, I already started writing it :)

 :D I THINK i'M GETTING BACK IN MY WRITING NICHE, AND i KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS.

my best thinking is at night, but until recently, I'd been trying to write during the day, but i get too distracted, and ideas aren't clearrrrr~

But lately I can stay up late, so I've been staying up and writing :DD 

don't worry, i go to sleep like 12:30am usually lol :PP

~Neri (is back to being somewhat of a night owl but still trying to wake up at 6:45am >O<)~