"Right at that moment, my feet wouldn't listen to me. My heart kept shaking. What's happening? I'm going toward you..."

~Blackhole-SHINee

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Yoongi slammed Jae-hwa against a locker, kissing her sloppily. There was no 'what are you doing?!' in the back of his head. There was no 'Min Yoongi' left to save. He was dead, there was no dignity of 'Min Yoongi's' to salvage, it was gone anyway.

He didn't know who he was, what he was doing, there was no pretending this wasn't him though, this was his own foolishness, and he wasn't sure if it was 'acting out' or just what he wanted to do anymore.

Jae-Hwa moaned against his lips and he could tell everyone around them was starting to gravitate away, and he couldn't blame them, and some part of him actually liked it.

His hands found her waist, starting to travel upwards, she pushed him away, "Yoongi-bear, down, boy." She said with a chuckle.

Jae-hwa acted like she was some bad-ass bitch, but deep down she was scared, and he realized, just because he'd knew it first hand, that whoever Yu Jae-hwa had been, had been dead for a while, and she just tried to fill the space with useless things.

Yoongi pouted, just for show, since the act had become him in a way. He was the act, he was just as fake as Jae-hwa, just as empty. "Babe, you're so shy, oh my god."

Jae-hwa rolled her eyes and sighed. "Shy, sure, I just like a little more comfortable of a place for that, Yoongi-Bear."

By now everyone had left the hallway out of disgust or just in general want to get out of the room and back to lunch. Jae-hwa wanted him to come early today, not just after school, and he doubted it was just because she wanted to show off her boyfriend.

"Yoongi-bear," Jae-hwa started with a giggle, playfully grabbing his collar, "I have a little teeny tiny favor."There it is, that's the Jae-hwa I know."My problem is back, and he got a backbone, and he actually thinks he can stand up to me. Make him scared like he should be again? Make him run, make him...bleed."

"Oh, whatever you want, baby." Yoongi said, not even a second of hesitation. He was beyond hesitation, this was how he was going to live, like a loyal dog. Why hesitate?

Jae-hwa smirked, "Good, Yoongi-bear. I saw him alone a minute ago heading to the cafeteria--make sure he doesn't set foot in there before you handle him, alright?" She winked before going off down the hallway.

Yoongi watched her for a minute, then started going the opposite direction toward the cafeteria to handle this, speed walking so he could catch up with him.

The trouble was when he was alone. Alone, all the thoughts brewed down into a thick self loathing that could swallow him whole. It made him want to scream, break something, tug at his hair, claw at his skin. I hate it. I hate this feeling, I can't save myself from this...what am I going to do...?

Then he saw him. Just one guy, all by himself in the hallway, wearing the school uniform and walking kind of slow, like he wasn't concentrating on walking, but something else, and if there was anything else in the hallway, Yoongi was sure he'd have run into it by now.

He had bright, obnoxious, freshly dyed, orange hair, tousled kind of messily, in a way it made him look like he was some kind of bad-ass, but his walk said otherwise. Every step was careful even though he wasn't paying strict attention, but then there was something about it that felt weak. Like he was an injured puppy who was being brave and trying to walk by himself. He probably was with someone like Jae-hwa around...

"Hey!" Yoongi Called to him, and before he could turn to face him, he pinned him up against the locker, which probably knocked him dizzy, the way he winced and whimpered at the action spoke more of how he was just a lost puppy in reality.

The more he looked at him, the more he seemed akin to a pumpkin in the midst of October.

"Pumpkin head, you're walking on glass, no one talks to my girl like that." He pushed him against the lockers again for emphasis, and he could tell, it knocked him blind for a second.

But there was something still defiant in the look he gave when he looked back at him, maybe it was his eyes, the tiny hint at a spark in them that screamed rebellion.

Yoongi raised his eyebrow, by now everyone feared him, but there wasn't the same kind of fear in his eyes. "Yo, you think I'm playing, pumpkin-head? I better hear a 'sorry, I'll never do it again'."

He was silent, dark eyes looking out from under that orange fringe without a hint of remorse for anything he had done at all, but his expression wasn't spiteful, kind of the opposite, "Please, it hurts, stop..." His voice was deep, like rich caramel, the words rolled off his tongue. Daegu. He was from Daegu too...For a second, mercy crossed his mind, but it was gone in a flash. Min Yoongi is dead, the person that would pull back is dead, the person who'd pull his punches is gone. Long gone.

"Oh, it hurts? Awww..." He pulled the pumpkin-head away from the lockers and slammed him back into them with all the force he could. "How's it hurting now, you crazy son of a bitch?"

"Stop...!" He said, obviously seeing stars, he wasn't even looking straight at him, trying to blink away the blur that must be over his eyes.

"You're a baby. Can't take a little pain? This will be easy enough to get through that pumpkin head of yours then."

Yoongi punched him in the stomach, and that was all it took, though Yoongi was definitely ready to hit him more, the Pumpkin-head fell to the floor, clutching his middle and wincing.

He's too easy to mess with...what does Jae-hwa want with him...what could he have done that she can't handle him?

"Good boy, now you say some more shit to my girl? You'll get more of this. You pick a fight with her again, you pick a fight with me."

Yoongi left it at that, just walking away like he'd done something as simple as taken out the trash. And that was exactly what he'd done. He doubted he'd get much trouble from that kid again.

But some dumb person inside him saw this as wrong, some part of him that still wanted to reason.

Yoongi is dead.

Dead.

Not coming back. Ever.

He wasn't sure what was trying to talk to him anymore, what was trying to convince him to go back to something that didn't exist.

But he walked straight to Kyung-mi's house, almost mindlessly, the part of him that wanted to live as himself, mostly guiding him. There was a familiarity with her, something he couldn't completely place. Nothing so much about her or her house, just something that struck him as familiar. Like a taste, a smell, a feeling. But in reality, there was nothing familiar at all about her.

Kyung-mi had someone who loved her, actually loved her and cared for her. Who do I have? What do I have? Nothing. No one.

I wish I had her life... To be able to just start a fire in the house, and be forgiven, not be afraid to be beat brutally, not have to run away, to feel safe at home.

Something wet went down his cheek, and he reached up to touch it, realizing it was coming from his eyes. He was crying, and he couldn't place why.

She was crazy, he shouldn't want her life, but he did, hers was so much better then his. Such an improvement, though in reality most people thought of her and people like her as unfortunate, pitiable, the defective part of society. But she was living better than he ever had, then he ever would.

He was jealous.

"You..."

Yoongi turned around, finding Kyung-mi standing there, in her school uniform, backpack hanging off her back, a curious expression on her face.

"Yoongi-ah..." She said softly.

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A/N:

So, my writing app hates me, decides to not open and let me update for a week bsdnfgmkl -o-

IN OTHER NEWS THO, BECAUSE i'M DONE COMPLAINING TO MYSELF ABOUT UPDATE ISSUES.

I'm hyped to hear the WINGS album :3 I always promise myself to not listen to it until I actually get it, and i preordered like day before, hours before, and like, i'm hoping it comes soon, I'm too excited >O<

~Neri~ (NA P'I TAM NEUNMAL)