CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
i am not okay with this

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A BOWLING ALLEY. The world was ending today, and Nadine Vidal was sitting in a bowling alley, wearing ridiculously tacky bowling shoes and sipping a lemonade that had been at least ten dollars overpriced. It was ridiculous, especially since the place was so cheerful. Judging by the brightly coloured balloons, birthday cake, and cluster of gleeful pre-teens at one of the lanes, Nadine thought there might actually be a birthday party going on. Meanwhile, here the Umbrella Academy was, bruised and battered, nursing their individual injuries, ladened by the knowledge that one of their own would cause the apocalypse. But even though they looked like utter shit, even though the world was ending, they were still forced to pay their entrance fee, put on some bowling shoes, and set up their lane, which they'd named Umbrella Team (Klaus's idea).

After popping her shoulder back into place, Nadine had found the others here, and the six of them decided to hold a meeting. This meant that as the other patrons at Super Star knocked down pins and ate soggy popcorn, the Umbrella Academy had to try and figure out a way to save humanity. It was the worst possible place to formulate such a plan, with the excitable shouts of the partygoers grating in Nadine's ears and the occasional interruption of an employee cutting into their train of thought. But it was what they had, which meant that they would have to deal with it.

"Look," said Luther, after a few minutes of silence, "I hate to be the one to say this, but everyone needs to prepare."

"For what?" Diego asked.

"To do whatever it takes to stop Vanya."

Allison hit him with her notepad, and Nadine, who was still furious about what had happened back in the Umbrella Academy's basement, shot him a glare. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I—" Luther went speechless for a few seconds, barraged by scowls from two angles. "We may not have a choice, guys."

"Bullshit," Diego growled. "There's always options."

A surge of gratitude went through Nadine. Only a few days ago, Diego had been so angry at Vanya for writing her book that he hadn't wanted her to attend her own father's funeral. But now, things had changed. Back in the basement, he'd defended Vanya, too, had let Luther know that locking up their sister was one of the worst things they could do, uncontrollable powers or not. It may have only been the bare minimum, but Nadine still wished she could let Vanya know that her siblings really did care about her.

"Yeah, like what?" Five asked. He was still in his uniform, and looked tiny amongst the group of adults. If Nadine had been in a better mood, she would've been sorely tempted to pinch his cheek, even if it meant losing a limb.

Diego shrugged. "I don't know."

Luther got to his feet, looming above the team. "Look, whatever we decide, we need to find Vanya. And fast, okay? She could be anywhere."

Nadine rolled her eyes. "Oh my God, he's done it again," she drawled sarcastically. "Number One, the great leader of the Umbrella Academy, has come up with another top-tier idea. 'Find Vanya.' Wow, I'm impressed. I wish I could be as brilliant-minded as he is."

A muscle ticked in Luther's jaw. "Nadine..." he began, speaking slowly, almost condescendingly, as if he was speaking to a young child. "Why don't you—"

"Guys!" Klaus suddenly spoke up, cutting off Luther. "Look. What if Vanya's here? Look at this." He leaned forward, showing them the newspaper that had been in his hand. Squished in between the blocks of text was a midnight-blue advertisement. On it was a picture of Vanya, beaming at the camera, her violin clutched in her hand.

"That's right," said Diego, nodding. "Her concert is tonight."

"Hello." Before anyone could say anything more, an unfamiliar voice injected itself into the conversation. Nadine looked up to find yet another employee, a false smile plastered onto her face. The nametag on her chest proclaimed as Midge. "I hate to intrude, but my manager says if you're not gonna bowl, you gotta leave."

"We know," Nadine snapped. "But thanks anyway."

Midge shrugged, and then walked off. Nadine noticed a man she presumed to be the manager scowling at the Umbrella Academy from behind the counter. She matched his glower, narrowing her eyes, and after a moment, the man turned away, intimidated. Nadine scrunched her nose at him. I win.

"Whose turn is it?" Diego asked glumly, looking around at their impromptu group.

"Oh for..." frustrated, Luther picked up a bowling ball and tossed it blindly over his shoulder. The ball bounced over one, two, three lanes, before finally rolling forward and knocking all of the pins down. The players at that lane gaped, and Nadine herself couldn't help but be a little impressed.

Allison tapped at Luther's shoulder, drawing his attention. Once he was looking, she held up her notepad. SHE'S OUR SISTER was written in capital letters.

Nadine took another sip of her lemonade, eyeing Luther. Yet again, Allison made a good point, but Nadine was sure that Luther would cook up another cock-and-bull reason as to why they should take Vanya down. No matter how many times he proved that he wasn't cut out to be leader, he seemed determined to keep his position—even if it meant messing things up yet again.

Sure enough, as soon as he opened his mouth, Nadine felt a headache forming. "We're the only ones capable of stopping this. We have a responsibility to Dad."

"To Dad?" Diego echoed incredulously. "No, I've heard enough about—"

"He sacrificed everything to bring us back together."

"What?" Nadine furrowed her brows. "What are you talking about? He died, Luther."

Klaus nudged her, fortunately on her good side. "I almost forgot you weren't there for my big ol' family meeting," he said. "It's a long story, but basically the gist of it is that when I got clean, I ended up conjuring dear old Daddy himself. After he'd finished his usual spiel about how much of a disappointment I am, he told me he didn't die of a heart attack, he killed himself. Apparently, it was to bring the Umbrella Academy back together, though I can't understand why he didn't just pick up a phone."

Nadine blinked, taken off guard. Reginald had killed himself? Although she'd never even met the man, that seemed a little drastic, even for him.

Her brow furrowed as she remembered a piece of the original mystery. "What was the tape, then?" she asked. "You know, the one where Grace supposedly tried to kill Hargreeves."

"Pogo said it was just meant to further this murder mystery." He breathed out a sigh. "You know, other families go on scavenger hunts, and we have to solve our own father's death. It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

Five interrupted their side conversation. "I'm with Luther on this one. We can't give her a chance to fight back. There are billions of lives at stake. We're past trying to save just one."

"Hey, you know, guys, uh... maybe I could help," said Klaus, injecting himself back into the main conversation.

"Now is not the time," said Luther. Nadine scowled.

"No, let him finish," said Diego. "He saved Nadine and I's lives today."

"Diego's right," said Nadine. "And besides, you shouldn't shut him down before he's even opened his mouth, Luther. He's given plenty of valuable contributions in the past. I mean, just a couple of minutes ago he showed us where Vanya is."

Klaus got to his feet, shooting Nadine a grateful look. But before he could begin, Luther asked, "Is it true? You saved their lives?"

"Yeah, yeah," began Klaus, "I did... take credit for it. In fact, the real hero... was Ben." At everyone's inquisitive looks, he elaborated, "Today... listen. Today, he punched me in the face. And earlier at the house, he was the one that saved Diego and Nadine's lives, not me."

"Woah." Nadine whistled softly. So that explained why she hadn't seen her saviour—because her saviour was a ghost. Her eyes darted around, scanning the area as if the apparition of the long-dead Number Six would suddenly materialize, but, of course, nobody showed up.

Unfortunately, the others weren't so convinced. Perhaps all they saw was Klaus attempting to get into the spotlight again. Although Nadine hadn't been present for most of the Hargreeves' lives, and thus didn't know how many times he'd acted out, she hated that they wouldn't even listen to him.

At the disbelief of his siblings, Klaus raised a hand.

"You want proof, is that it? All right. I—I'll give you proof." Klaus lifted up a bowling ball, sniffing. "All right, it's showtime, baby. Catch." He promptly tossed the bowling ball in a high arc towards an empty space, where—and Nadine didn't know what else he'd been expecting—it immediately fell to the ground, bouncing twice before rolling to a stop. Klaus sighed, his hands falling back to his side.

"Is there any way to silence that voice in your head that screams out to be the center of attention?" Luther growled.

"Shut up, Luther," snarled Nadine.

Klaus added, "You know, I liked you a lot better before you got laid."

Nadine almost choked on her lemonade, coughing into her elbow as Luther's eyes widened. Klaus tensed, seeming to believe he'd taken it too far, and tried to revise the comment. "Which was a complete... it—it wasn't his fault, 'cause he was ridiculously high, right? And—and the girl she thought he was a furry... and—"

"Stop!" Luther hissed.

"Okay."

For some reason, that comment dispersed the group, leaving only Klaus, Nadine, Diego and Five behind. Nadine, who'd recovered from her coughing fit, turned to Klaus, her eyes still on Luther's retreating back. "Was that his first?" she murmured.

"'Course it was."

Even though this was no time to laugh, Nadine snorted anyway. It was nice, actually, finding humour in an otherwise bleak situation. It was like a ray of sunlight in a thunderstorm.

"Well," she began, shaking her head, "at least when we die, we're not going to die virgins."

"Excuse me?" yet again, the group faced another interruption. This time, it was a patron, who had her arm around an uncomfortable-looking boy who looked to be around Five's physical age. "Excuse me," she said again, speaking to Five. He turned, confused. "It's my son Kenny's birthday today, and... uh... wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age?" She looked to Diego and Klaus, who she seemed to assume were his parents. "Assuming it's okay with your aunt and two dads."

"I would rather chew off my own foot," Five snarled. The woman's cheery grin immediately faded into a look of horror, and she gripped onto her son's arm.

"Let's go, Kenny."

Nadine shook her head as she left, slightly amused. She still couldn't fully smile—not when Vanya was out there, alone; not when she would end the world if Nadine didn't get to her in time—but at least she wasn't as glum as earlier. "Well," she began, "at least that lady believes in gay rights."

Klaus got up to bowl, obviously wanting to kill time until his siblings came back. As he picked up a bowling ball, Diego said, "If I was going to date a man, you'd be the last man I would date."

"You'd be lucky to get me," flaunted Klaus, rolling his ball down the lane. It knocked down only a few pins before disappearing.

Nadine leaned back in her seat, even as her name flashed on the screen. Even she, someone who was notoriously ignored suggestions to not overexert herself, knew that bowling when she'd just dislocated her shoulder wasn't a very good idea. Plus, she wasn't sure if she could even focus, not when every second that ticked by was a second closer to her death.

She glanced towards Five, wondering why he was being so quiet, only to find that his chair was empty. Somewhere between the Kenny debacle and now, he'd disappeared. She swallowed, trying to prevent the frustration from bubbling out of her. Why was she not surprised?

EVENTUALLY, AFTER DIEGO was winning bowling by a landslide, Luther and Allison returned—it seemed they'd settled things. Nadine was glad. She'd been going mental just sitting around and drinking her lemonade. She had been sorely tempted to just leave the bowling alley and go after Vanya herself, but then she'd looked down at her shoulder, which had swelled up despite the fact that she'd returned the bone to its socket, and realized she needed help. Especially since her head still throbbed from what Harold had done to it. Going alone now would be a death sentence.

"Where's Five?" Luther demanded immediately, regarding the trio.

"He left," said Diego, stating the obvious.

"Oh, for the love of... where'd he go?"

"Didn't tell us."

"Well, we're not waiting around for him," said Luther, as Klaus took a handful of popcorn he'd ordered at the food counter. "The concert starts in thirty minutes."

"All right, so what's the plan?"

Luther's jaw clenched. He obviously hadn't thought that far. "Well, I think that, uh... we go to the Icarus Theater."

"That's a location, not a plan," said Diego. At Luther's deer-in-headlights look, he narrowed his eyes. "What? Is that all you got? Look, you wanna be Number One, fine, but you're gonna have to get us on the same page, because right now, we're all over the place."

Luther swallowed. "You're right. We need a plan."

Nadine got to her feet. While they were talking, she'd come up with a fragment of an idea. It wasn't much, but based on what she'd seen, she knew she could develop it further. She was about to explain it to the siblings when gunfire cut through the air.

For a moment, Nadine was frozen, the Incident, yet again, pinging back into her mind. Then Luther shouted, "Get down!" and Nadine dropped, landing hard on her knees right as bullets riddled the scoreboard above her head. From her position, she could see the attackers—several gunmen, with gas masks strapped over their faces. They weren't firing sporadically, either—in fact, all of their efforts seemed directly concentrated on the Umbrella Academy.

Nadine crawled forward, ducking under a counter. There, she crouched, covering her ears. Her measly defence was no help in blocking out the deafening sounds of the gunfire, nor the screams of the other bowlers as they attempted to escape this carnage. Immediately, her breathing came uneasy, and she squeezed her eyes shut, as if the darkness could somehow shield her. Her heart was pounding in her ears, spots were dancing beneath her closed eyelids, and for a moment, Nadine was in that alleyway again.

Diego's shouts tore her out of her reverie. "Who the hell are these guys?!"

"Maybe they're here for Kenny's birthday!" Klaus suggested. Nadine finally managed to open her eyes.

As bowling balls burst to pieces and bullets riddled the seats the Umbrella Academy had just been sitting in, Luther shouted back, "No, I'm pretty sure they're here for us!"

Fuck, come on, Nadine, breathe. Nadine's nails pressed into her palms as she squeezed her hands together, her breathing stubbornly shallow. Come on. Everything's fine. You can do this. But you can't freeze up again.

Diego stood up and thrust a knife at one of their attackers, crouching down right before he could be shot full of lead. Nadine couldn't see what had happened, but she could hear the thud of a body as it slumped to the ground. Somehow, this triggered the lights to dim to darkness, and music to pump through the speakers. "S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, hey! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, hey!"

The Umbrella Academy was seconds away from dying, and Saturday Night was playing.

As the lighting changed, bathing Nadine in a blue glow, she crawled forward, peeking out from behind her counter. She splayed out her fingers, taking control of the minds of a few gunmen. Her forehead buzzed, and she crafted an image specifically for them—an illusion of the building crumbling to pieces. The gunmen exchanged a look, and then ran forward, trying to avoid being crushed by detritus that didn't exist. As soon as they got close to Nadine, she launched herself to her feet, jerking the gun out of the closest shooter's hand and cracking him across the skull with it. He crumpled, and Nadine targeted the other one, sending a bullet into his foot.

As the second gunman fell, dropping his gun, Nadine slid back into her hiding spot, watching Luther land a hit at one of his attackers with a bowling ball. Bile boiled up in her throat as she realized the gun was still in her hand, and she quickly let it fall, kicking it away. She hadn't gone for a fatal attack, but just the feeling of the kickback of the weapon had her feeling like she was going to be sick. It was yet another reminder of what had happened to her twelve years ago.

Trying for a new tactic, Nadine made it seem like the area the gunmen were shooting at had been consumed in fire. Although no actual heat was emanating from these fake flames, the gunmen stumbled back nonetheless, a few of them bursting back out through the front door.

Nadine was still alive, though it wasn't just because of her own skill. If not for Luther, throwing bowling balls hard enough to break skulls, and Diego, with his scarily accurate knife-throws, she knew she wouldn't be here. Even Klaus was trying to help; Nadine watched him launch Kenny's birthday cake right at their attackers.

After they'd all crouched back down, he shouted, "They're blocking the exit!"

Nadine looked, and found he was right. Even with their combined efforts, there were just too many of them. She got lower on the ground, her hand sliding to her phone in her pocket. She'd almost forgotten it was there.

She didn't have time, but she wished she could call her father. Tell him how much he meant to her. Because if she was going to die—if they both were going to die—he deserved to hear it.

"So what's the plan now, Luther?" Diego asked their Number One. But it wasn't Luther who responded. Instead, Allison was the one who gestured to the bowling lanes, which would provide an alternative way out of the alley.

"The lanes, let's go!" Luther ordered. Nadine got to her feet with the others, and ran forward, gunshots firing all around her. One of them whizzed right against her ear, a hair's breadth away from cutting into the cartilage. But then she was flinging herself down, hitting the slick alley lane at a perfectly timed moment. She slid through the bowling pins, knocking them all down with her, and then burst through the exit, gasping for air.

Outside, the Umbrella Academy gave themselves only a minute to stop and catch their breath before they started off again, knowing it was likely the gunmen would follow. Nadine ran with the others, heart in her throat, knowing that every step she took was one closer to the Icarus Theatre. To Vanya.

One way or another, everything would end here. Nadine knew that as surely as she knew her own name.

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HAVEN: one chapter left... guys, this is it.

thanks for reading <333