"How is she?"

Donatello sits down next to his brother on the couch. "Same as yesterday," he sighs. "Comatose."

"I still can't believe it," Raphael smirks. "That stupid bitch decided to total the fuckin—"

"Raphael," he promises coolly, "I will personally make it my life's goal to make sure you can never open your mouth again if you don't shut up."

He puts his hands up. "Yeah, yeah."

"Will you two be quiet for a minute? I'm trying to listen." Leonardo kneels in front of the television.

There is a new news story.

"They can't arrest her, can they?" The tallest brother glances at the others.

"Nah." Michelangelo is sprawled out on his portion of the couch, eyes dully focused on the screen. "They'll side with her before someone from a street gang, 'specially with those..." He trails off. "' Sides," he clears his throat, "any good public defense lawyer would call it self-defense, and there's no way the police would convict a teenage girl of any degree of murder with the injuries she has; bad press."

"Mikey," Leo asks, "how come you know that and not how to multiply numbers by seven?"

"Because seven is a stupid number that was created just to make us all feel stupid."

"Leo—"

"He's right," Raph agrees. "They won't put her away for something like that." He chuckles darkly. "Besides, there's no more evidence."

"After what happened with the neurologist?"

"Donnie," Leo turns to look at him. "She's going to be fine."

He opens his mouth to argue, closes it.

" The perpetrator," the news anchor reads, " was found this morning after a panicked nine-one-one caller had seen the hand of the assailant hanging over a ledge. The corpse had, presumably, been flung away from the scene of the incident as a consequence of the explosion, miraculously landing on the roof of a nearby restaurant. The body has been identified as Fong Zhao, who was arrested on multiple charges of armed battery earlier this year. The police have refrained from offering Channel Six detailed information, but we have an anonymous source who claims that he and the gang he is supposedly involved in, locally referred to as the Purple Dragons, was also involved in the hijacking of a truck carrying a substance believed to be tear gas. The driver of the truck testified in favor of this statement earlier this evening. An investigation is currently ongoing regarding the involvement of the men in question, and we at Channel Six implore our viewers to come forward with any information you may have on the case or the supposed ringleader, the recently escaped Xever Montes. More on that later tonight. Up next, a local—"

Leonardo shuts off the television. "Well, there you go." He stands up. "See? Didn't even mention her name."

Donatello breathes out a sigh of relief. "Good," he nods after a moment. "That's... good." He cradles his head in his hand, his concerns hardly pacified by the report.

This, he cannot excuse. This is entirely a matter of his own negligence.

'I should've noticed sooner, insisted to come with.' He zones out, his brother starting a conversation about something he cannot bring himself to pay attention to. 'How could she be that reckless? It's Shredder for fuck's sake; I should've at least noticed the body or something, anything.' His fingers lace together as he stares a hole into the ground. 'Even if I couldn't have stopped her, I should've been there, if only after the fact.' He runs his tongue along his teeth absentmindedly. 'Some ninja I am. Some friend. Some—'

"So, I broke Y/N's arms, right?"

His head snaps up. "You what?"

"There he is," Raph chuckles. "Knew that'd get his attention."

"Don't make me go over there," he glares. His face flushes in embarrassment.

Leonardo rolls his eyes at his brother's antics. "As I was saying, it's been pretty quiet, hasn't it? Since the incident?"

"Now that you mention it," Raph points out, "since the whole Leatherhead fiasco, I don't think anything's really happened. Ya know, besides the Kraang thing." He crosses his arms behind his head, leaning back into the couch. "It's been getting' kinda boring if I'm bein' honest."

"It's that desire to fight that's going to get you killed," Donatello informs him, staring at the television screen. "Saw what happened to her, right? Weren't you just saying how stupid she was being?"

"Yeah, but that's different." He smiles sharply. "She's got exactly no training. As much as you guys seem to have a thing for humility all of a sudden," he waves his hand contemptuously, "the only reason she got hurt is that she was being stupid, so we're pretty much undefeated, no thanks to Leo."

He stands up, deciding against fighting him. "If you need me," he says curtly, "I'll be in my lab."

"Watch it, Raph," the eldest brother snaps.

"Why should I?" He throws his hands up. "Am I wrong?"

Mikey quietly grabs his comic off the floor, retreating to his room, presumably.

Donatello slides the door in between him and his brothers as he sits down at his desk.

You have been stuck in the hospital for about two weeks now.

'Technically,' he corrects himself as he pulls his laptop open, 'it's been three hundred fifty-seven hours, meaning it's closer to fifteen days than two weeks. Why do I know that?' He pulls up an image, uncapping a permanent marker and working on one of the more mindless parts of his latest project: reviving an incredibly battered map. He already has a frame for it once he is finished, but, knowing his brothers, the fading colors would likely be a point of contention if he did not at least make an effort to make it easier to read. Fortunately for him, it is not laminated. Unfortunately—depending on how you look at it— a lot of the finer details—the integral streets names in particular—are all irreparably smudged and, therefore, will have to be all rewritten by hand, turning a once twenty-minute job into at least a two-hour investment.

He tries to tune out the incessant arguing of his two older brothers as he focuses on making his minute handwriting legible despite the infuriatingly fat marker nib.

"You should have taken her offer for a pen when you had the chance," he mumbles to himself.

His hand stops.

'Would it be weird to go check on her again? Just to make sure she's still alright? I mean,' he goes back to work, 'even if it were, how would she know?'

He shakes his head to clear it. 'Stop that. You're being a creep again.'

Over those two weeks, his distractedness has become more of a problem than it has in the past in reference to his work. He is hardly a stranger to having a thousand thoughts bouncing around his head at once, but where once a rapid stream of information was there is now an aggravatingly slow sludge. The origin of said mind sludge is not at all a mystery to him, which makes the whole thing infinitely more frustrating. 'Frustrating? Depressing? Does it even matter?'

He rubs his eye absentmindedly with the heel of his palm as he strains to see what he is doing. The smell of the marker is corrosive in his nostrils. His hand shakes. He sets it down, wringing his hands as if to force them back into submission as he stares holes into the map. 'This is not supposed to be challenging.' He closes his eyes, the image of you lying on the ground, a bloody, skeletal figure shaking and begging for your life carved into the backs of his eyelids, a hideous scar.

He can not stop thinking about what you said the night before the incident. Something about being able to care for yourself.

What would you say to him now? He imagines that it would be something to remind him of how the accident is your fault, how he should not beat himself up over it, but all that does is convince him that he should have been faster to act or to respond or something. There had to have been something he, in his infinite wisdom, could have done. What else can he reason? That he is powerless? That he had no say in what happened that night of nights?

'How come I can plan and build a combat vehicle out of alien technology and an old subway car and I can't—'

He jumps at a loud banging at the door.

"Donnie!" He can hear Raphael's wicked grin from behind the door. "Bank robbery! Let's go!"

He sighs, capping the marker. His breakdown will have to wait.

"Comin'!"

--

The ringing in your ears is already annoying.
You have been awake for about five minutes. You have elected against moving for a plethora of reasons, but the ringing is a relatively large determining factor in your decision. You are, admittedly, not sure where you are until you hear the tell-tale incessant beeping you remember from your childhood. You do not open your eyes yet. You are incredibly drowsy for some reason.

'Hospital?'

You sit up carefully, wincing as a numb pain permeates through your arms. You run your fingers over your face curiously, feeling for any perceived disfigurement as your eyes scan your surroundings. The small room you have been placed in seems standard; there are a couple of chairs under a window that makes up half of the wall, a television screen in a corner of the room, an inoffensive painting, and a small vase filled with some sort of white flowers.

You feel a protruding scar on the right side of your face. It traces from the bridge of your nose to about halfway across your cheekbone. As you bring your hands down to pull the hospital gown away from your body, you catch sight of your hands. Long, jagged cuts run vertically along the front of your hands, and as your eyes travel up your arms, you notice fewer, shorter scars along the insides of your forearms. You swallow, pulling the cloth away from your body to see long scratches running from your thighs to under your ribcage. You pull the blanket off to find that one of your legs is encased in a white cast.

You blink. 'What stupid thing did I do?'

You lay back down, fingers absentmindedly tracing the scars. 'I must have been out for a bit.' You push the hair out of your face, noting how oddly shaky your hands are as you try to focus on what had happened. 'Why wouldn't my folks be here? They wouldn't ditch me in a hospital, would they?' You hold them out in front of you, palms to the ceiling. 'I don't look old or anything. My nails aren't much longer than they were before, so I can't have been out for that long.'

Your eyebrows furrow. 'Parents...' You swallow. 'Oh, right. The fire.' Your eyes go out of focus. 'Dead. I was, too, until recently.' You put your arms down. 'I'm hungry. Where am I?' You close your eyes. 'New York. East coast. How far is the East Coast from the West Coast? I should call her so she knows I'm—no, she's dead.'

"All dead and gone," you mumble the tune to yourself.

You cover your face. 'Focus. What happened?' You recall what you think is a church. 'Turtles. Turtle. Oh, TMNT. Where are people? Focus.' You yank at a piece of your hair, mumbling to yourself as you try to run through the memory again.

The image of that man's body takes your breath away.

You shut your eyes tighter. 'Right. Car. Glass. Glass would be a good candy. Could you make glass out of sugar? Isn't that what a lollipop is?' You hug yourself tightly, careful of the IV as you roll onto your side towards it. 'I killed someone. Someones. That's not a word. Gasoline smells bad.' You feel tears prick at your eyes. 'I deserve to die for that. There has to have been an easier way to do that. I deserve to burn again. That explosion was so prettily animated in that episode. I can't breathe.'

You curl your legs up towards you, using the arm not connected to the IV to hook behind your knees. You bury your head in your shoulder as you force your breathing to slow. 'I miss her. Where is he? They're dead and you killed them, you heartless bitch.'

You feel a sob rise in your throat. You swallow it back. 'Stop being a pussy.' You hear yourself start to count softly. 'They're all dead and gone. You're on your own here, so get a grip.' You grip the blanket. 'After all, who are you going to turn to? The guys who already risk their lives every day? Or maybe Splinter, who will probably tell you some bullshit about letting your pain go?'

'That's not fair,' you argue with yourself. 'You can turn to Murakami. Casey might be willing to help.'

'Because Casey's known for his reliability and Murakami would want to deal with your stupid emotional problems.'

"Twenty-three," you whisper, keeping your voice even. "Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six...'

You pull yourself back up, bringing your knee to your chest as you wipe any tears that may have leaked out with the back of your hand.

You do not have to wait long until someone comes in to check on you, a taller gentleman with sharp features and sunken eyes behind curly black hair. He introduces himself as Nurse McGrath, gives you a run down of the dizzying number of injuries you had suffered in the accident, what they had done to fix the problem, and starts to discuss what would become of you now.

"The doctor predicts that you'll be able to remove your cast in approximately six weeks, and that you will regain your fine-motor skills fully in eight." He is obviously half asleep, but you can hardly blame him; the clock on the wall reads that it is about three in the morning. "The symptoms from the whiplash should completely fade in about three months. If you would be open, there are medications we can prescribe to help with the pain."

You smile to spite yourself. "Thank you, sir, but I'd rather not." You are sincerely concerned what might happen if you start taking any sort of medication right now, considering your mental health.

"I should probably warn you in advance that the police might ask you to come in to identify the guys who kidnapped you."

You blink, confused. "How do they know I was kidnapped?"

"Anonymous tip, according to the news." He scratches something into some form or another. "I dunno the specifics, but nobody thinks they're gonna charge you with anything, 'specially since the driver was from that street gang."

You nod. "Gotcha." You purse your lips. "What day is it?"

"Twenty-fourth, now."

You sigh. "Well," you shrug, ignoring the pain it causes, "at least I'm not dead."

"At least." He caps his pen. "Technically, you're free to leave, but the doc thinks it's a good idea to stay overnight. Your insurance provider has your medical bills covered, so you're good for it."

"Honestly? I'm surprised I don't feel weaker." You smile. "I'm more than happy to head home tonight, if that makes most sense."

"Personally, I wouldn't stay." He starts heading out of your room. "Your cellphone is locked up. I'm guessing you want it?"

You nod eagerly, realizing quickly that makes the ringing worse.

"I'll bring it right back, then."

You refrain from touching it until he leaves.
It looks as if it was put in a blender, but you find it does still turn on. A problem quickly arises: your hands cannot hold the phone. You set it down on the mattress, each movement taking a ridiculous amount of time to coordinate as you type like someone who has never used a phone before. 'Fine motor skills. Right.' You type out a message after approximately too long that tells Donnie that you are out of the hospital and heading home.

You check out of the hospital at approximately four-thirteen. The trip home is a straight line of a walk that takes you approximately twenty minutes. Getting in through the door with a walker is a bit of a challenge, but it works out well enough.

You lock the door and windows when you get home, shutting your phone off as you crawl into bed.

You let out a low groan as your head punishes you for your heinous crime of moving. You had realized ten minutes into your walk that you were not at all physically strong enough to walk that long, and you already hate yourself for it, among other reasons. As you crawl into bed, ignoring your body's protest, you still stand by your decision to not take any medication, especially now.

You feel as though you are being suffocated as you cling onto your pillow, pressing your face into it as you cry silently, the ringing in your ears only getting louder in the silence of your apartment.

'I feel sick.'

You remember your first night here. You remember the feeling it had caused you, the numb ache of loss as you submitted to the situation you had found yourself in. It feels like an eternity ago, now. You know, logically, it cannot have been more than two months since you got here.

You had decided against taking a cab back home. You had the cash, and you still do, in your bloodstained pocket. You saw many as you walked home, and you had turned a blind eye to them all.

You feel yourself trembling again. You remember the first night you had slept on your own here, the nightmares you swore were the product of a mind much more sadistic than yours ever was. You remember, too, the nightmares you had after Bradford, the way that, for the first time in your life since you were five years old you woke up drenched in sweat and crying for your mother.

What possible dream could come from this?

You reach a hand to the nightstand, hovering over your cellphone as you consider your next action.

Slowly, you retract it, letting it rest next to you. 'It's four. He's not awake.' You do not have the energy to get up to grab the bottle of sleeping pills from your bathroom.

'I don't want to sleep. I can't take another nightmare.' You rest your cheek on the pillow, forcing your eyes shut. 'Mare. Why is it called a nightmare? Are mares truly that terrifying?'

"One," you whisper. "Two. Three."