You are going to kill him.

"That is absolute fucking horseshit!" You pace back and forth in front of the restaurant. "His ass was the one who invited me!"

You can practically hear his eyes rolling on the other end of the line. "How is it my problem if he flaked?"

"You're guilty by association!" You cross your arms. "It's a favor to you! How is it not at least partially your fault?"

"Because he said he'd be there."

You hang up on him. You have been standing here for half an hour, and only now do you hear that he can't be there because of something about a movie. While, under different circumstances, you would be relatively understanding, standing outside in a dress in November is making you a bit less amiable.

You sit down on the step, letting your hair down and leaning forward on your knees. 'What a waste of a perfectly good twilight.'

You pull out your phone. It's your father's birthday back home, ironically enough. You smile bitterly. He and your mother told you when you were younger you wouldn't be allowed to date until you were eighteen— something about them being worried about you getting in a bad situation— and here you were, flouting their rules, sitting alone on the steps of a restaurant with just enough money for food. 'Does this count as disrespectful?'

Nobody online has said anything about it. No messages hoping he rests in peace, nothing from extended family.

You set the phone down at your side, quietly watching people walk by. You had your cast taken off today. The people at the hospital gave you some sort of weird juice, and now you can walk around with only the occasional ringing in your ears and half-decent handwriting. 'Not that my handwriting was that great before,' you muse. 'Maybe I'll finally be able to sit in a car without wanting to jump out.'

"Something got you down?"

There is a thing you have noticed about people's voices thus far that, until now, you have not thought about in detail; people do not sound exactly like their voice actors back in your world. For example, Donatello does not sound like Rob Paulsen, but the way he shapes his words, the tone of his voice, and the general pitch is relatively similar. He sounds like a teenage boy who happens to talk like his character, and it is by this you have been able to identify voices.

Oddly enough, she sounds nothing like Kelly Hi.

Your blood goes cold. "Yeah," you sigh, desperately keeping your voice steady. "My date bailed on me."

Karai sits down next to you on the steps, looking out with you. "That sucks." She chuckled. "Why's that?"

"No clue." 'Why is she trying this?' You rest your head on your knees, hands clenching and thoughts going a mile a minute. 'I'm not made by the Kraang, and the guys shouldn't have messed with her anyways, so she shouldn't have my— but I did kill— but she doesn't care about that, and neither does Shredder.'

"Well," she sighed, "that's teenagers for you." She points back at the restaurant. "Can I get you something? My treat."

You swallow thickly. "Sure." Your hands are shaking despite your best efforts. You hope you do not look as completely terrified as you feel. "But I can pay for my own food."

"Are you alright there?"

'Sadist.' You nod.

"Are you sure?" She chuckles. "You've gone pale."

You scramble for a plausible excuse. "I've been fasting." That is not a good example of an excuse. "I need to start getting more iron in my diet."

"I'm sure some food inside will have iron in it." The smile on her face— she is not a good liar herself— tells you all you need to know, all venom and quiet pleasure. You seem to shrink next to her.

It is not a request. It is a veiled demand.

You get to your feet. You will not make it far if you run. "Have you been here before?" You force yourself up the steps, opening the door for her.

"No," she admits, nodding thanks, "but it's supposed to have good reviews."

"So you were here for the food?"

A shrug. "You could say that."

The two of you settled in a booth not terribly far from the door, on your insistence. If you are putting yourself in this situation— 'At least Casey knows where I am. Why did he have to suggest someplace where I know nobody?'— you may as well not make it easy for her. She orders a milkshake— you can not hear her very well over the roaring in your ears, but that is what she gets— and you drink water exclusively from the straw because your hands are currently incapable of holding anything. 'What was even the point of all those dexterity-based exercises,' you cannot help but internally whine, 'if as soon as I need to be coordinated, I get all flinchy and shaky?'

"I didn't catch your name."

Your head rises too quickly. "Huh?"

Another smile. You hate her. "Your name," she repeats herself. "You haven't given me your name."

"Y/N." As soon as you say it, you know you messed up. "Y/N Collins."

"Collins?" She leaned against her hand, quietly staring you down. "What is that?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, what country is that from?"

'Great question.' You strain to smile back. "No clue. My parents haven't ever brought it up."

"Really?"

Your face burns at how easy the clinking of her fingernails against the glass puts you on edge. "Is that unusual?"

"I wouldn't know." She took a sip from her drink. "I don't have many friends, you understand, and I'm from overseas to boot. I don't know much about what's normal."

"Yeah?" You follow her example. "What're you here for?"

A shrug. "My father's here on business. Cutlery."

"For restaurants or?"

"Sure."

'If I call Casey, he— but then I'd have to be in his van.' You clear your throat. 'Bathroom. Maybe the bathroom has a window.' "Do you mind if I step out for a sec?" You stand up. "I have to use the restroom."

"Not at all." She looks up at you through her eyelashes. "Want me to come with?"

You shake your head, trying not to trip over yourself as you make it to the back of the restaurant, purse over your shoulder. 'Maybe she won't think anything of it.' You lock the door behind you, exhaling as you look around the small room. As is typical of your luck these days— though, you suppose, fighting back tears, it's not so much these days if it's been going on for months; you miss your mother— there is none. Graffiti, sharpie illustrations, no toilet paper, and no window. No plan for if the date went badly in the first place— you kick yourself for having forgotten that essential step— and no ride home. You have money for the ticket home— he said he would pay— and a phone and a charger and it is at times like these where you wish you valued your life more. The only chance you now have, as far as you're concerned, is to either run or fake a phone call at the table.

You just got out of a cast.

You take a deep breath, walking back onto the floor, thanking her for her patience. She nods, waves it off as no trouble, and starts talking again as she drains her drink. You listen, you try to keep the conversation going the best you can, drink right alongside her.

You do not remember when you start having fun, when you start laughing along with her at something or other, but you are now.

"So," she sighed, lacing her fingers together under her chin. "Who was the lucky guy?"

You blink. "Huh?"

"The guys you were here to meet."

"Kid from Bio," you answer. "Can't remember his name."

She nods. "Do you have many guy friends?"

"A couple, I guess."

"What're they like?"

"Busy." You smile slightly. "Most of them are, anyway. The guy that set me up is free most of the time."

"What about the others?"

"They're into martial arts." You glance down at your glass, and for a moment, you swear it looks slightly blue. "Their dad's into it."

"What're their names?"

You blink, picking the glass up and placing it on top of your hand. "Reese and Donnie and Legoshi and the other one." 'Why is my drink blue?'

"The other one?"

You nod, eyes drooping slightly as you struggle to rationalize the color change. "Can't remember his name."

"Michelangelo, maybe?"

"Maybe." You take another sip, trying to taste what it is. "That name sounds familiar, but I can't remember from what." Something with salt.

"You said your name was Y/N?"

You nod again. 'Water isn't blue, right?'

"Then, Y/N," she smiles again, eyes slowly drilling holes into your skull, "do you know who I am?"

"Legoshi's sis, right?" You look up at her. "You're Karai Hamato."

Your eyes are too blurry to tell exactly what is happening with her face. "What?"

"Your name." You take another sip. "Karai Hamato. Or Missy. It's one of the two."

"I'm not a Hamato."

"Yeah, you are." You giggle before the words slip out of your mouth. "You're fucking— well, not fucking— you let stepbrother, right? Half brother?" You are forgetting something important. "Are you two blood-related?"

"We aren't."

"You sound angry."

A blink. "I do not."

"Do too." 'I don't like her for some reason.' "You're getting all red in the face."

"Because you're accusing me of something I'm not."

"Fuckin..." you grin. "If you're into that shit, I'm not gonna fuckin judge you or nothin, but at least fuckin... uh... own up to it." Your eyes drag across the table lazily.

"I'm no Hamato."

"You are too."

They land on a plastic bag.

'Oh. That's why.'

"Who told you I was?"

"Your stepdad." You get to your feet, holding your bag. "Or dad, I guess? I dunno, whichever one didn't kill your mom."

There's something else in her voice as she gets up, following you out. "How do you know that?"

"I just said how." The cold air outside hits you like a brick. 'Run.'

"So you know where—" You shove your weight back on her, slamming her body and in turn her into the brick wall and run.

She grabs your something. You fall, head slamming painfully against the ground. You kick her, she grabs your hair. In what you might later describe as a drunken effort, you reach your hands up towards her face. You feel something squishy, a cry, and she's facing you now, dragging you into somewhere considerably darker than outside at night. You feel something in the back of your head, she covers your mouth as you cry out, and you do the only thing you can think of.

You taste something again. Something is in your mouth. She stumbles back. You trip up to your feet, and you fall in the direction of the nearest subway tunnel.

The things happening around that time are swirling around in your head, now, face held in your hands as you quietly curl up on the subway. You do not remember entering a train car, or buying a ticket, or even what happened to the object in your mouth, but the crying you remember. You remember someone touching your shoulder with a soft voice, looking up with your mouth covered in sticky, dried stuff and fingers covered in red and clear goo, and that being enough to have them get off at the next stop.

You do not know how long you are on the train. When you finally feel yourself again, your phone is almost dead. Hours must have passed. You do not remember leaving, but you remember the ringing in your ears again as you dial someone, sitting on the sidewalk in what used to be the only dress you owned. You are reasonably sure you are going to burn it.

—

"Is this okay?"

"What?"

"This." Mikey gestures around himself. "What we're doing."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"They're people, right?" He looks over at his brother, currently skimming the same magazine again. "The Kraang, I mean."

It takes a second for him to process the question, but Donnie does not have to look up from his sewing to know his brother's reaction.

"It's just a question."

"A fuckin— do you hear yourself?"

"I'm just—"

"Leo," he turns to his older brother, "is killing the threat to all of humanity wrong?"

"But we just blew up a giant ship of them though." He crisscrosses his legs. "Aren't we killing a ton of people, then?"

"Mikey," Leo sighs, not looking up from the TV, "there are more people in New York than there are Kraang that we could ever kill."

"Eight million." He sincerely hopes the gloves are not too large. "For number's sake, it's eight million."

Leo shoots his brother a thumbs up, glancing over at his brother's project curiously. "Thanks, Donnie."

"Even if we were actively going on a killing spree and mowing them down that way, there is no way in hell any of us could kill two million Kraang per person even if we wanted to. That's not even talking about the number of people who would be fucked once they were done with New York." Raphael punctuates this with a pointed and aggressive flip to the next page. "End of story."

"But—"

"And even if they stopped at New York," he continues, cutting him off, "that would still be eight million people dead because of us getting cold feet."

Mikey opens his mouth again, sighs, and closes it. "Fine, okay." He leans back against the concrete, eyes going back to his phone. "Anyways, why do you keep getting water on your thing?"

"Hm? Oh, you mean the gloves." His taller brother looks up. "It's easier to get the needle through it when it's warm and wet. Plus, it makes the— stop laughing!"

"Then you thought it too."

Heat rushes to his face. "You're so immature."

"But you thought it too. That's hypothetical."

"You mean hypocritical."

"I said what I said."

Michelangelo's phone rings.

He puts a finger, bringing it to his face. "Hel— hey, slow down." His brow furrowed, the other three leaning towards him. "No, wait, what— who's she?"

There's a pause.

"She did— wait, hold on." He tosses the phone to Donatello. "It's for you."

He catches it. "Hello?"

"Could you pick me up?"

He blinks. "What, with the Shellraiser?"

Your voice is paper. "Yup."

"You hate the Shellraiser."

"She wants to go in the Shellraiser?"

Donatello waves his younger brother off, letting you talk. "I hate Karai more, currently. Please pick me up."

Leo pipes up. "What happened?"

He ignores him. "Where are you?"

There is a pause as she checks, his brothers watching for his reactions. "One-oh-three Saint Corona Plaza."

"Got it."

"What happened?" Raphael, this time.

"Need me to stay on the line?" With a pointed glare at his siblings, he climbs into the 'raiser.

"Please."

He calls behind him at his brothers. "I'll be back before two." The phone is brought back up to his face as they moan about a lack of info. The machine is spurred into motion. "What are you doing in Queens so late?"

"No idea." He can hear your strained smile. "Ask Karai."

His heart stops. "What happened with Karai?"

You repeat your statement.

"She didn't—"

You cut him off. "I'm not back in the hospital, no."

He resists the urge to sigh in relief. "Did she follow you?"

"I've yet to be hit over the head, so I'll hasten to say no." There is something off about your voice, a certain quality about it that he cannot quite pin down. "I've been essentially useless the whole time, what with her drugging me and all."

"She what?"

"I think she did, anyway." It is incredibly disturbing to him how calm you sound. "Unless water's blue and kinda tastes salty now. I don't imagine it would be though," you ponder, effectively shaving years off of his life, "even if you guys messed up the mission. It would be green, since that's the color of the acid, right?"

He mumbles something out about indicators, head reeling as he tries to not hit a street lamp.

"That's what I thought." You sigh. "Say, have you got any hydrogen peroxide at your place? No, wait, scratch that, I'm burning the dress anyways."

"Dress?"

"Yeah." You huff. "Last time I'm letting Jones set me up on a date. Last time I'm going on a date period until all this gets worked out, actually."

'It is not okay to feel happy that she had a bad date.' Still, he tries to steer the conversation away from the horrifying for a minute. "What happened?"

"I got stood up."

"Why?"

"I forget. Where are you?"

He glances up at the street sign. "Still pretty far."

A pause.

"You know," you swallow, "I should really stop doing this. It's not exactly great of me to have to ask for your help all the time."

"None of us mind."

"That's not the point." He hears a car on your end whizz by. "I should be able to go a week without making you go out of your way for me. You guys manage."

"We've also been training in ninjutsu since we could walk."

Tired, he decided. You sound tired. "Other normal people manage."

"You're not a normal person, though."

"Sure I am." Your words sound slow to him. "I keep interesting company is all."

"That's a word for it."

"What, don't count yourself as interesting?"

He turns a corner. "Not the first word I'd use, no."

Another long silence. Occasionally, he notes, you will him something into the phone, say a quiet, unintelligible word of phrase he cannot quite make out, presumably in an effort to continue looking like you are on the phone to passers by. The streets, like most nights nowadays, are mostly empty, save for the occasional cop car or kid, making the commute a relatively uneventful one. It gives him time to think, anyways, and after a while of quiet contemplation and forced slow breaths so he did not look quite as panicked as he felt once he picked you up, a question quietly surfaces.

He would have come in a heartbeat. He was not exactly sure what he would have done, but he would have come running, regardless of if he could help. Why would you not call? Why would you try and deal with that sort of situation alone? Did you not trust he would come?

His fingers tighten around the wheel. What had you been thinking going out alone, anyway? After all that was happening, you thought it was a good idea to go on a date without a plan for if it went south?

Another sharp turn. If nothing else, he thinks, he can not say you are no longer naive or lacking in innocence. Maybe you are just incredibly prideful. Regardless, it will get you in more trouble than you had to be in.

What would he do if you got yourself irreparably damaged?

—

You are not having a good time.

You have managed to convince yourself that this is not, in fact, anything like the car. For starters, it is less aerodynamic; it is a metal box on wheels, designed for subway travel and is, therefore, not designed for optimum wind resistance, meaning it cannot go as fast with the same amount of energy. The inside of the vehicle is also distinctly dissimilar to a car, its origins blatantly obvious, and was entirely lacking in windows. While this is enough to convince you currently that climbing into the machine is not as serious a death sentence, the fact of the matter is that, yes, it is a metal monster on four wheels that drives on roads. If you keep your eyes shut, maybe you will not vomit as soon as you stumble out of the door.

Your stomach hurts. A lot of your body hurts, actually. You do not remember the "fight" with much clarity, but you do understand your head hurrying. You have yet to get a good look at yourself, but if you had to guess by the stains on your fingers that you can now identify as blood, the bad taste in your mouth that you are fairly sure is vomit and the flaky stuff on your face that also looks suspiciously blood-like, you would hasten to guess the answer is "not great". You certainly do not feel great, if that is indicative of anything.

He has not said a word so far.

You do not force conversation, now. You would prefer not to talk about the ordeal, anyways.

There are monitors that he is staring at in order to steer. Why he would not just get an actual steering wheel or the old hull of a car from a junkyard is beyond you, though you guess a hippie van would not offer the same armored protection as a subway car.

"We got molested by a sea monster today."

You look over at him, eyes half lidded. You want to sleep. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." His eyes are focused on the screens. "Apparently it liked my submarine."

"That's... a thing." You rub your hands on your thighs absentmindedly. "How did that work out?"

"Fine. It wasn't all that strong."

Your lips curl up into a weak smile. "That's good, then. The mission went alright?"

He nods. "Without a hitch, funny enough."

"That's cool."

The conversation dies as quickly as it starts.

The drive from that point on is an uncomfortably quiet one. You pick blood from under your nails, thumbs occasionally tracing the scars on your fingers— you are still not used to the difference in texture— as the hum or an engine rumbles underneath you. You are reminded of a memory from when you were younger, driving down the hallway, basking in the warmth of your own body heat with your arms tucked to your chest from under your top layer. The machine you were in now was colder, staler, but the hum of the engine, the time, all reminded you quietly of simpler times.

You swallow thickly. 'I'm such a coward.' You shut your eyes gently, stomach churning. 'I'm going to get the people I care about hurt, aren't I?'

Donnie says something.

The Shellraiser is stopped. You look up at him. "Huh?"

When he was younger, he and his brothers did not know the limits of their own strength. When they were first learning to fight, when they were first sent to spar against one another when their sensei was asleep, they would often go a step or three too far. He was never one to get involved— his brothers were stronger, more enthusiastic fighters— but he remembered distinctly what they would look like the morning after a fight, cheeks and eyes various shades of purples and blues and blacks. They would ask him, on occasion, after particularly brutal brawls, for him to paint over whichever brother's face— usually Raphael or Leo— to hide them from their father. He got used to the sight, got better at understanding their anatomy, which chemicals mixed together would do which things.

He is getting sufficiently tired of seeing you hurt the worst he has ever seen.

You look so small in the seat, face black and blue, hands shaking. Your skin is paler than when you two first met, less healthy, a thin coat of sweat coating your skin and hair stuck to the back of your neck. Your dress— he has never seen you in one— is stained with rust, hidden poorly from under your jacket. He can tell already which bruises will take a while to disperse, where she had busted your nose and slammed your head against something hard. You need a shower and water and a blood test to make sure you do not die from whatever Karai gave you.

He clears his throat again. "I don't want to be rude."

"You're doing me a favor. You have a right."

He does not look you in the eyes. "It's just... can I ask a question?"

You sigh. Even your voice sounds tired. "Shoot."

His fingers trace the rim of the steering wheel. He takes a slow breath. "Why didn't you call?"

"When she cornered me, you mean?"

A nod.

He glances over at you, staring down at your hands, turning them over. "You were on a mission. I didn't want to mess it up."

"I would've come, you know."

"I know." You smile ruefully. "That's why I didn't."

His fingers grip the wheel again, trying to not openly overreact. "Y/N," he says carefully, "if a mission fails because we need to come save you from Karai, then we fail the mission."

"How many people in New York would die if you guys did fail?"

"That's not the point."

"It is." You look up at him. "You get yourself in a lot of trouble because of me. You have to make sure I don't kill myself all the time. Think logically, Donnie."

He snorts, heart pounding in suppressed, almost overwhelming frustration. "Are you going to say something about thinking logically?"

"Fair point. But you get mine, right?"

"I don't, actually." He leans back in his chair, fingers gripping tighter still. "The only reason we're messing with the Kraang at all, the only reason we started all this, is because I saw you and wanted to help you." He counts on his fingers. "The only people I really, honestly care about this much are my family and you, and I know that, if I had never met you," and he looks you dead in the eyes now, "I would just make a filtration system for my family and that would be the end of it."

Your eyes are still gorgeous. Behind the bruises and the blood, you really are stunning.

"Sure," he concedes, "maybe Leo would've gotten involved because he's that selfless. I would've gone along with it, since he's my brother and all, but if that were the case..." He takes a slow breath to calm down. He never thought it would come out right now at all times. "If that were the case, I would've never tried red velvet cupcakes. Mikey wouldn't have a friend outside of the family. I never would've learned about crime movies, or had talks about science with anyone but myself, or any of the thousand other things you've given us." He does not know exactly when he grabs your hands, but he is now, and you are so warm and alive right now. "I care about you. We care about you. You have to know that. For fuck's sake," he laughs, "I've told you outright, before!"

You open your mouth to say something. No words come out, for once.

He squeezes your hands. He cannot tell if your heart feels like his does, the straining against his chest, the aching feeling. He was never good at reading people or emotions or any of that.

But it's time now. He can barely think. If he does not now, he might not ever.

"I love you, Y/N."