Love is fire — it ignites just as quickly as it fades. The tangerine and golden hues that it once possessed now bronzing, and dwindling until nothing but the charcoaled wick remained, standing tall.

Even what remained of the pathetic embers vanished, carrying into the wind as a puff of smoke danced around it. The warmth itself, replaced with a cold breeze from the night's lamenting breeze, the wick howling for it to return. 

For things to be to back to normal.

Even though the flame had parted, the wick remained standing, damaged — but standing. Though the wick had been charred, it was now stronger than ever, carrying the burden of the previous flame alone.

The wick could withstand a great amount, unlike the weak flame that only sparked when things were dry... hot. 

The flames devoured the wick, tortured it when it's master had decided to light, eating away at the wax maintaining their foundation. 

Flames were spontaneous, breaking out whenever the moment felt appropriate, bringing heat to the already cold relationship. 

The wick was irreplaceable trust, but the flame on the other hand — was lust.

Not love. 

You see without trust and a spark, there is no love. There is no understanding, no sexual desire.

However just like an overdose, too much of one sole element could tip the scale, turn everything toxic.  

For the fire, this was normal.

Many would abuse the wick, tell it it's useless, unworthy. They would throw it away and blame the wick for being too weak and cowardly. However, what they never realized was that perhaps the lust had been too overpowering. 

In this world, harmony is achieved by balance.

A sturdy flame can't illuminate without a wick; something solid to rely on and set boundaries with. The twinkle is something that comes and goes but that can be controlled with the right measures if taken.

But if unsupervised and uncontrolled, the fire would abandon the wick once the resources it needed had been scarce, a strong desire to move on to the next wick to twirl in the midnight hours. 

Or more simply consume the wick until a pool of nothing but ash remained. 

The wick however, needed this flame because without it the relationship would grow useless, like a lost moon having no planet to orbit a — telescope unable to see the stars. 

The whispers from your lips had become muffled as you stood before the door like usual, this time a layered cake presenting itself in both of your palms.

They say you become more beautiful when you fall in love.

But did the hypocrites ever consider the discreet tears you let slip? 

Did they...

Consider the pain that comes with love?

Inhaling a sharp breath, a pained smile sprouts. The memories were still hard, inescapable, consuming everything — your thoughts and heart. 

Was it wrong? 

The pool of regret had possessed your feelings, brain becoming high on the trauma that came with the forlorn memories. 

You despised this ashen door — because just like the wall in his heart, it blocked you— pushed you away from what the people who write presume to be destiny. 

Could you not love this person?

An overwhelming scent of bleach and chemicals burn your nostrils. The tears were beginning to return, and just like before, were soon to tumble.

The corners of the cardboard box in your hand cave in, ruby lips trembling as you plaster a smile, your gaze focusing to the pale ceiling. 

Your hand raises, balling into a fist as it inches closer to the hardwood, a knock sounding as your knuckles tap against the hard surface.

"Go away."

The smile you had forced, falls as you succumb to the painful reminder that you always had this kind of love.

That you always had this kind of hurt.

"Please..." You croak, hand glossing down the door, your request practically a beg sounding in the empty hallways. 

You thought that maybe — just maybe, today would be different — but you were wrong. 

Yet again, you were left on the outside, expected to handle the pain that seeped into every word you spoke as he grumbled and cursed. 

Sliding the dainty white envelope under the door, you feel your knees grow weak, the earth seeming to sway beneath your feet as your teeth bared in pain.

"Congratulations." You manage, breathing heavy as you tried to disguise the sobs that followed. 

Why couldn't he open this door?

❈

"Goddammit why can't I open this door?" Struggling to twist the golden knob, your wrists grow tired, a groan of annoyance soaring from your lips as your foot plants into the floor with an audible thump. 

Your aunt sighs, whisking a set of golden keys from her pocket, slapping them into your palm with a cocked eyebrow. "Maybe you should try unlocking it sometime." 

"Oh right." You giggle, a sheepish grin pulling your lips.

"Yah," Your aunt places a casual hand on your shoulder, the other lazily placing a cord into your hand. You return the random the gesture with a questioning look. "If you're like this now, what will you be by the end of the summer, braindead?" She teases.

"Well there's no clients!" You huff, arms thrashing in the air. "What am I supposed to do?" A pout rounds your glistening lips, eyes darting to the window with anticipation to what journeys awaited out there — out in the city. 

As much as your aunt hated to admit it, despite the city buzzing with millions of people, what you had said was true — the business could really be considered dead. But at the same time as a starting business it is sure that loyal customers are hard to come by, which is all the more reason to treat them with great respect and gratitude. 

Your aunt places a casual hand on your shoulder, the other lazily placing a cord into your hand. You return the random the gesture with a questioning look. "What's this?" 

"Go take Coco for a walk." Unlocking the doggy gate in the room nearby, the frail footsteps approach, claws marking the wooden floors with each bounce. A wave of brown dashes towards you, tail slapping between your legs as the labrador nearly pounces you in joy. 

"Aigoo~ Coco-yah wanna go on a walk?" You coo.

Almost as if smiling, the energetic puppy flashes her teeth, front legs resting on your thighs as you tighten the leash around her neck. 

"Ah wait!" You aunt grabs hold of your wrist, "I just want to remind you to hold on to that leash really tight." She emphasizes, eyes wide as she waited for you to nod. 

"Yes. I know." You respond unenthusiastically. 

"Yes, but you don't understand," Her voice turns hush, turning into a whisper as if gossiping in front of an actual person with real feelings. "She has a natural inclination to make you forget who's walking who." 

"Okay yes, got it. I'll be bossy." You giggle. Your aunt returns your laughter with a generous smile, slipping a small plastic bag into your pockets. Your brows furrow. "What's this for?" 

"That's for her shit." She answers instantly, amused as you roll your eyes and grimaced, strutting to the front door. 

"Auntie Chaerin! I'll be back soon!" You call, the middle-aged woman waving as you shut the door behind you. 

"Time to explore~" You sung to yourself, sailing in the direction that your friendly companion led you. Coco prances happily, sniffing what all the dirt, grass, and other elements the earth had to offer while you enjoyed the gentleness of the sea breeze tangling your hair. 

You could imagine yourself on the stunning beach in the distance, the soft sanding folding between your toes, clothes light and airy, a large smile gracing your lips as you feverishly laced your fingers within another's, his thumb caressing your knuckles. 

Love...

A soft chuckle escapes your lips. 

You weren't drawn to the concept of it, but at the same time you felt no need to neglect it either. In this world, love has great significance — it brings us all together, tells stories, creates passion. 

It was something you had been lucky enough to have and been raised with. 

But all humans grow selfish — greedy. We always want more, faster, now. Our desires are what drive us to do both the good and bad, the morals we've been taught holding us back. 

Since the beginning, we are taught that in order to feel complete we need a complete love — validation from someone else in order to feel whole and as one. The message has been pasted clearly in the titles, movies, stories, that without another we are nothing. 

Inside you craved affection, felt you needed it — but you couldn't help but wonder if that part of yourself had simply been lying. 

"Do I really need someone?" You wonder out loud, returning to a startling reality as you bump into a passerby on the street.

Your eyes couldn't help but follow all the people that passed, their heavy accents fascinating as they spoke quickly, intonation harsh and syllables having a certain folk-like bounce.

Busan.

It had only been a city you'd heard about in your childhood, dreamed of visiting one day — certainly on better circumstances, but still... 

Something about it seemed different. 

Something more chic. 

You had always envisioned a city filled mystery and drama, just like the rumours and stereotypes had whispered in your ears from the mouths of people from your city. 

But as it turns out, a pleasant surprise — this was something new. 

Grip loosening around the cord you had balled into your fist, you allow a gasp, the puppy breaking free from the leash, running freely through the streets, frightening the strangers nearby as the dog continued veering towards God-knows-where. 

"Coco!" You scream, adrenaline pounding through your veins as you charge after the dashing canine, pushing past people frantically attempting to catch the little rascal running through long stretches of green. 

Luckily, Coco had only been in a park and not somewhere where she could actually cause problems.

Frolicking in her glory, she plants herself beside a man perched against a tree, fingers casually sliding over the glass screen of his phone. He eyes the small puppy, eyebrows raised in confusion as to why the animal's beady eyes held contact with his. 

"Coco no!" You shout, running towards the two. 

And then, faster than he could make sense of the situation, the dog raises it's leg, a wet sensation trickling down the his shin, the liquid absorbing in his pants creating a noticeable wet patch. 

Hand wrapping around the dog's collar, you finally grab hold of your pouch, nearly wanting to strangle it for abandoning you in the streets and misbehaving. 

"Bad puppy!" You scold, the dog whimpering as you reattach the leash to her collar, this time assuring yourself that you'd hold onto the cord until your hands would cramp.

Bent over and out of breath, you rest against the tall cedar, paying no attention to the man beside you.

Yoongi shakes his head in disbelief, his tongue glazing his bottom lip in irritation as he lets out a low chuckle. 

"Did your dog just piss of my fucking leg?" 

As if his voice called you like the school bells in an auditorium, your attention turns to him, stomach dropping to the floor when coming the startling reality of things. 

"Aha... About that-" You pause, his orbs holding contact with yours— an emotionless shade of ebony. They were fascinating, a pair of orbs that you felt you could easily get lost in, his harsh gaze alone nearly sucking the truth from your trembling lips. 

Heat blazes your cheeks upon scanning the 'glorious' stain your dog had marked on his jeans, hand flying to your mouth in complete guilt as his lips displayed a knowing smirk, gaze penetrating as he mused over your every reaction. 

You had never felt so embarrassed in your life. The rehearsed words formulating at the back of your mind failing to come out properly, all in barely comprehensible stutters.

As if the berry blush staining your fair skin hadn't been enough, the anxiousness in each foot folding over one another had been a dead giveaway of your anxiety. 

To make matters worse, this man practically towered over you, the whole situation appearing much more serious and intimidating as his gaze had drawn to you, a slight gleam of amusement in his eyes as he tried to hold back the laughter itching his throat. 

Though this situation was beyond comical, you couldn't help but feel a chill run down your spine as his dark eyes exposed you.

He thought it was somewhat funny.

But at the same time he was serious. 

After all, it's your dog that just peed on his leg. 

"I uh... I-" 

With on strong motion, Coco tugs forwards, once again liberating herself from your imprisoning grasp on her collar, racing over the lush hills beyond your sight. 

"Shit!" You curse under your breath, not even hesitating to chase after the little demon. Of course if anyone was to be the owner of the world's most troubling dog, it just had be your aunt. 

Yoongi groans, rolling his eyes as your figure became a mere dot on the canvas of green, eventually disappearing into the horizon. 

"Great."

❈❈

Nothing lasts forever. 

This was the phrase Yoongi had learned throughout the years—throughout all the anguish and hate his childhood had taught him. It was stupid really, to be so gullible and fall for such lies at such a young age. 

He despised the way his mind had once functioned, a voice inside promising that underneath the surface of things there lied something more. 

Something more than a life like this. 

He had felt chained to the power bestowed to him, an obligation planning to steal any ounce of control he had in his life. Those around him used him, played him like a pawn in a game of chess, destroying the thing that people deemed as 'trust'. 

He never wanted this. 

He never chose this. 

Instead he had been given this upbringing on a silver platter, expected to accept it without a complaint.

But could he really pretend to smile forever? 

The whole concept of eternity was foolish. The fact that people believed that things would remain forever, then collapsing in agony when they had turned for the worse. The sun wasn't going to rise on this planet forever, so why should he care? Why should he allow himself to grow attached, only to be obliviated by a loss in the end? 

Yoongi sighs, hands soaking the denim fabric in attempt to eliminate the pungent odour being released. 

What was the point in trying? 

The memories had possessed him anyways.

"Yoongi-ya get up," A hand wraps around little Yoongi's slender wrist, pulling upwards desperately. The young child sobs, refusing to move an inch. 

Her nails dig deep, practically puncturing the boy's pale skin as she clenched her jaw in anger. "Have you forgotten your place!? Do you know who's son you are? Only the unclassed spill tears," She growls, teeth pushing past her bottom lip as she glared at the toddler laying on the mat floor in disgust. "Now, stand." She snaps, scooping Yoongi off his feet, whisking him away from the countless people adorned in black clothing who dared lay eyes on the child as he screamed. 

Forcing a hand over his mouth, her hooded orbs stare into his, lips curving empathetic smile. "He's gone Yoongi-ya. There's no point in weeping over the dead." She purrs, fingers lacing through his silky hair. He sniffled, hands slipping around the woman's neck, head crashing against her shoulder as his eyelids grew heavy in fatigue. 

His fingers curled around the fabric of her satin gown, attempting to gain some sort of comfort as he swallowed his fear, emotionless stare replacing his ebony eyes. 

The woman's lipsticked-smile appears as a group of people swarmed her, expressing their condolences; each of them bowing to pay respect while others sung sweet words to the infant in her arms. 

They all smiled as if everything was alright, gazes failing to display any hint of remorse. 

Their voices had been soothing but their mouths had been spewing lies. 

They all said it wasn't his fault. 

But it was—He was too little to protect him. 

They all couldn't care less that the man was gone, in fact they probably jumped in glee upon hearing of his passing. They were all selfish demons, who wanted nothing more than the prizes that came with the man's death. 

No one dared defy the wealthy—the hungry wolves who feasted on power and enjoyed extravagant parties as they mooched off the weak. 

It was sickening. 

And it needed to be taken down. The problem within this collapsing empire however, was that it hadn't been quite brought into the limelight . And even if the opportunity had presented itself, no one would bat an eye to the words of a infant. 

Who would dare take the bitter truth over a sweet lie? 

The boy lets out a terrified whimper, shaking uncontrollably as the woman cradled him, still flashing her pearly whites to those who stopped her. 

And when they left, when she hit her limit of social contact, she had pulled Yoongi close, inhaling his crisp scent, her hot breath settled by his ear. 

"He never loved us anyways."

"Yah!" 

Yoongi cocks his head towards the entrance of the bathroom, gaze following the wide grin spreading on the lips of the brunette perched against the doorframe, a suitcase in his free hand. 

"You ready?" Hoseok's brows knit in confusion, observing the soaked pair of jeans in the sink wordlessly. Yoongi chuckles, discarding the pants in the nearby bin. 

"Always." He naturally glides into the spot beside Hoseok, following him with a certain feeling of irony.

Because just like how nothing lasts forever, 

neither did his jeans.

BTSgotJams_170 

2018 07 07

Dedications: To my bestie, the unbreakable stone and my little fuzzy koala, Riki ILYSM
And to my amazing father who has been with me through the thick and thin and Sarah who were wed on this fanstatic day.
I love you all xoxo