TRIGGER WARNING (TALKS OF CHILD MARRIAGE, ASSAULT, SECUAL ASSAULT, and PANIC ATTACKS)

Being Secundo's assistant has its perks. You get to live in the same wing as the ghouls, you get to leave the compound for errands, and you get access to everywhere in the ministry. Unfortunately, leaving the church grounds caused a lot of anxiety for you. You left the same town for the ministry due to the fact that it was religious, hateful, and outcasted you. The church you fled was big on arranged marriage and polyamory, however it was not consensual and one man with many wives. You were always skeptical of the church's teachings and your bold personality caused for punishments. Whether it was kneeling on peas, being hit with a wooden paddle with crosses etched into it, or being forced to stay at service with the Pastor reciting the entire Bible over and over again, it was hell for sixteen years. You heard of the Satanic Church and listened to their music, you really enjoyed it. Cirice described you and you felt that the voice was speaking directly to you. One night your parents caught you listening to their music. The scars still linger across your back from the lashings. You were thrown out with nothing in the middle of winter, but you knew where the Church of Emeritus stood, and you trekked through woods and snow.

The ministry took you in, taught you its history, and promoted you to Secundo's Assistant. You've dyed your hair and grown over the past few years, so your appearance has changed, people do not recognize you anymore, but when they do, you have anxiety attacks. The first time you went out, you saw your supposed-to-be husband and when he approached you with fire in his eyes, Omega stepped in front of you and shooed him away, but your feet were glued, heart racing, vision blurring, throat tightening, and tears streaming down your face. That was the first reveal of the trauma you carried. You wanted to keep your past a secret as to not be a burden, but Omega knew you needed help. Omega soothed you and told Secundo everything, you were then sent on errands with Ghouls from the newer era. Aether, Mountain, and Sodo were the three you were always sent out with, and you were very close with Aether. He welcomed you to the ministry first and always wanted to hang out with you. The other came along gradually, but you and Aether were attached at the hip.

Today, Secundo sent you to town with the ghouls for certain books, fabric, and hardware. A strange list at most, but not uncommon. Secundo tended to handle more of the materialistic aspects of the church so you assumed it was for the cathedral's repairs. You walked to town wearing a black long sleeve hoodie, ripped jeans, and black converse. Your hair was down with a bandana around your head. It was an early fall day and perfect; not too cold, not too warm. The Ghouls were required to keep their masks on and concert uniforms in public. Walking through the woods was calm with some small talk.

You get to the local book store and greet the owner, she always liked you even when you were a part of the church, people always called her a witch. Aether went to search for the books Secundo requested while Sodo and Mountain were busy playing checkers in the corner. You talked to the woman, "Hello Y/N how are things at the church?" You leaned over the counter, "Pretty good, no drama, good vibes, and good music. How are things down here?" She gave you a sad look, "Well, I know you do not like to talk about your family or...him, but I feel like someone should tell you. Do you want me to?" You raise an eyebrow and lean onto the counter with your forearms, "Go on..." She took a deep breath, "Your parents have been promoted in the church, your father is now assistant preacher." You shuttered at the title, you were not shocked at the promotion, your parents dedicated their lives to the church and abused you for this promotion, you sigh. She makes eye contact with you again, you take another deep breath and nod your head for her to continue, "And, he..." she insinuated the boy you were supposed to marry, he was ten years older than you and assaulted you on your wedding night, you were only fourteen, "He has been asking about you, he even came in here last week. One of his wives died in childbirth and he blames you for hexing him or cursing him. He's been drinking daily. Just watch your back and if you need a hideout I have the loft here." Your mind began to race, he was not the worst man in the congregation, in fact all of the girls were jealous of you for being married to him, but he was a monster, they all were. All of his wives were at least ten years younger than him, you weren't even the youngest one. He would beat all of the wives for minor things. If dinner wasn't ready the second he got home, if he had a daughter instead of a son, or if he was bored. Now that he was looking for you, flashes of whips, fists, and pans crossed your memories.

Mountain could feel you begin to panic and walked over from his game, Sodo followed. He wrapped his long arms around your waist, holding you against his torso and chest, he bent down to whisper in your ear, "It's okay Y/N, we are here, it is okay" He used his Earth ghoul abilities to try and lull your fears, it worked. You took a shaky breath, "Thank you Mountain" He nodded and backed off, motioning for Sodo to join him back in the corner, "So, he's out to get me and now that my dad has that high rank I am fucked if anyone recognizes me?" She nodded with a sad look in her eyes. Aether walked up beside you holding the stack of books for Secundo, the shopkeeper checked him out and you all waved goodbye.

Your face turned from warm and kind to stone cold as soon as you stepped out of the shop. Aether noticed and looked to Mountain and Sodo for an explanation, they whispered behind you. You stopped sighed and turned around, "Okay so look. You know how I was married?" The three ghouls nodded, "One of his wives died in childbirth, so now he blames me and says I hexed him and his children." Sodo began to radiate heat, Mountain placed his hand on the fire ghoul's shoulder and he calmed down. Aether stared at you, arms crossed, "He's been drinking and looking for me. He came to the bookstore the other day and asked the owner about me" Aether began digging his fingers into arms, "Also, my dad got promoted to Assistant Preacher." They all looked confused, "Basically Cardial. Like Copia" The nodded in understanding and then shock and realization hit, "So it is not good that I am here because he will be made aware of my presence, by any follower, we have to be quick." The Ghouls looked at each other and nodded, "We have your back Y/N." Sodo affirmed, patting your shoulder, "Yeah, we love you, you are our family" Mountain joined in, Aether stayed silent.

You all begin to walk further into town, the family that owned the fabric store was not a part of the religion, so hopefully this would be another safe zone. The closer you moved into town, the closer the Ghouls walked around you, Mountain behind you, Sodo on your left, and Aether on your right. You felt some warmth around you and assumed it was Sodo, but it was actually Aether. You decide not to press into that, you could tell he was on edge.

Your group enters the store and now it is up to Mountain and Sodo to find the right color fabric for the Paps robe repairs. Copia's Sisters of Sin needed a lot of different shades of blue and black so you and Aether had time to kill. You began looking at all of the colorful materials lining the walls. You used to sew back in your childhood, in fact you enjoyed it as a hobby, but now it just brought up painful memories. However, the artistry woven into each textile was so beautiful you couldn't pull yourself away from the massive isle of fabric. Aether stood behind you, closer than before. You could feel his body being mere centimeters from your back, his arms were stuck as his sides, you couldn't handle the tension any longer. You turn around, "Aether." He tilted his chin to show he was listening, "You're acting strange, you're usually the carefree one when we go out, are you okay?" He looked down at you and sighed, "Y/N, I'm fine. I'm doing what I always do." You knitted your brows together in thought, he had to be more anxious because of...him... and you felt guilty that he was this irritable because of your situation, "Aeth," You took his hands in yours, he sucked in a breath, "You don't need to feel so scared for me, I've learned how to manage my anxiety and although I'm still working on it, I have you, Mountain, and Sodo here. You are doing more than enough to help by just being here with me, please, relax." He melted at your words, you got lost staring into his eyes through the mask. He took a deep breath, "You're right Y/N. You know how much I care about you, and I swear to Satan let anyone here try to hurt you I'll-" You cut him off with a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck. He stood there shocked for a second before wrapping his strong arms around your waist, "Thank you" you say into the side of his neck, "Anytime." He responded. You held each other for a moment until Sodo and Mountain found you, "Awwwww look at the love birds" Sodo teased wrapping his arms around your necks. Mountain laughed and led the four of you out of the store.

The next and final stop was the hardware store. This was the most...male populated area of the town. This place always gave you anxiety, but today, the entire block radiated doom. Your group rounds the corner of the building in silence. Kids, wives, and a few men stare as you guys walk by. It's the middle of the day, working hours. Walking closer to the doors, that same old familiar feeling rose in your stomach. Your heart beat started to pound in your throat.

You stopped walking causing Mountain to almost fall on you and for Aether and Sodo to pause, "Guys. Guys I-'' tears started to form in your eyes. Your chest started rising and falling quicker and quicker, it felt like sand was filling your lungs as if they were an hourglass. Mountain immediately wrapped his arms around you, trying to calm you with his powers. He didn't hold back, you could feel the waves crashing against your body's reactions, but it was not helping, "Why isn't it working. Mountain? Why?" You started to panic more realizing that your techniques to self assess and calm were not working. Your legs began to feel as if they were fragile, glass like sculptures being shattered by thousands of pins and needles. Aether and Sodo were confused on what to do, usually you and Mountain can work together.

Mountain tried to remain calm, but he started freaking out that the routine you two worked hard to establish was failing. Aether reeled in his brain any solution to help until his mind landed on a fond memory.

When you first came to the church, you would have terrible nightmares about your parents coming back to drag you to the old church. One night Aether heard crying walking past your room and being concerned, opened your door slightly. When he saw you knees to your chest, face puffy from crying, hyperventilating, and uttering incoherently. He walked into the room and immediately held you in his arms. You were too scared to apologize or pull away. He kept telling you how wonderful you were, how smart, beautiful, and strong you were to leave. Even though his words were more than kind, they didn't help ease your terror, so he did what Terzo would do for him as a young Ghoul. Sing. He sang Life Eternal, Aether didn't sing much, but it calms you down and eventually fell asleep in his arms. He always remembered that night.

Aether looked around and saw an alleyway, "Mountain carry y/n over here" Mountain picked you up bridal style as you were still hyperventilating into his chest. You three rushed into the narrow brick clearing. At the end of the alley there was a tiny courtyard with benches and decaying plants. Aether sat down on one of the benches, "Give her to me" Mountain gently set you down into Aether's lap. You cling onto his shirt, still blabbering and incoherently begging him to help you. He looked into your eyes, seeing all of the pain and suffering you survived be played on the glossy screens of your eyes. He looked up at Mountain and Sodo, and took off his mask. He tossed it to Sodo who looked at him like he was insane. He wrapped his arms around you, rubbing small circles on your back, and began to sing again,

Can you hear me say your name forever

Swiss and Sodo's jaws dropped. Aether sang backing vocals, but never loud enough to stand out. He's never sang in front of them before,

Can you see me longing for you forever

You can faintly hear Aether singing and feel his arms around you through the pounding sounds your heart screamed and the choking in your throat began to loosen,

Would you let me touch your soul forever

You begin to try and focus on Aether's voice, the lyrics, and the love the song brings. Your throat began to loosen more and more as you focused on breathing. Your body kept shaking, but your mind felt less terror and more confusion.

Can you feel me longing for you forever, forever

Your internal conflict continued to wage, the struggle to regain control over the mental anguish causing physical reactions,

I know the light grows darker down below

Aether began to hold you closer to his chest, your head now resting on the space between his neck and shoulder,

But in your eyes it's gone before you know

You kept sniffling and holding back sobs. You remove your hands from his shirt and cling to yourself in an attempt to become grounded again. His left hand moves yo help support your lower back while his right arm gently rubs your left arm,

This is the moment of just legging go

Your body begins to shake less as you focus on the words, you repeat to yourself over and over,

She said, if you had life eternal

Aether notices how relaxed you became in his arms and starts to smile slightly at how his idea worked,

Can you hear me say your name forever

Your breathing finally slows down and is controlled,

Can you see me longing for you forever

You unclench your nails from digging into your skin

Would you let me touch your soul forever

Your arms now rested in your lap, gently fidgeting with the rings you wear daily

Can you feel me longing for you forever, forever

Your knees unlocked and your legs fell, exhausted from their previous uncomfortable position,

We dance once more, I feel your hands are cold

You begin to feel more calm, and start collecting your thoughts to regain some stability,

Within your heart, a story to be told

You shift in his lap, causing Aether to take a quick breath and to stop singing, you start to whimper at the loss of his voice, he notices and quickly continues,

This is the moment of just letting go

You focus back on grounding yourself,

This is the moment of just letting go

You wrap your arms around his neck, and rest your head against your right shoulder and his chest. The ghoul started blushing like crazy,

Can you hear me say your name forever

He kept his left hand strong on your back, and moved his right to hold you closer,

Can you see me longing for you forever, forever

Your tears have dried,

Would you let me touch your soul forever

Your body finally unlocks it's defenses,

Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever

You let go of Aether's neck and sit up to look at him. You're shocked to see him maskless in front of you, he looked just how you pictured, strong jaw, purple eyes, medium length brown hair, a grayish skin tone, and two small fangs that barely stuck out from his teeth, he looked stunning.

Getting lost in each other's gaze, Sodo and Mountain still stood there shocked. Suddenly, a car honk startled all of you, making you jump causing Aether to laugh, "It's okay doll, just a car" The new nickname caused you to blush, "Aeth...your mask..." you say trying to change the subject, "It's a little hard to sing in," He admitted, a blue shade painting his cheeks, you giggle at how a Ghoul's blush is blue and he smiles at how you've overcome the panic attack, "I'm proud of you" he said hugging you closer to his chest. You blushed at the praise, "I'm sorry I don't know why Mountain and I couldn't work it out" Mountain and Sodo walked over to you, "No it's okay y/n. This wasn't a normal attack and you handled it great" Mountain tried to comfort.

You looked up at them, gratitude and adoration sparkling in your red puffy eyes, "Th-thank you guys" your voice cracking, "GROUP HUG" Sodo yelled, Aether stood you up and all three of the demons stood around you giggling. You felt another wave of calm as Mountain regained some power. It was a very strong wave and you could feel your eyes closing, already exhausted from the panic attack. Your body goes limp, your knees cave in, sleep won. Aether grabs you before you can fall and picks you up bridal style, "I'm going to take them back to the church. Can you guys get the rest of the stuff?" Mountain and Sodo nodded and left the ally.

Aether adjusted how he held you, making sure to not wake you up. He then started the journey out of the town and back to his room.

You wake up, exhaustion still lingers over your body. You feel around the giant bed you lay in for any clues as to where you were. The bed was far too big to be your own, you start to panic, "hello? Is anyone there?" You whisper into the darkness. You feel the bed shift beside you, you freeze in fear. Curiosity gets the better of you and you move closer to the figure sleeping.

Your eyes finally adjusted to the light and saw Aether. His mask on, sitting up against the headboard. You laugh at his little snores. He hears you and wakes up, "morning sleepy head" you tease, "morning darling". His voice was deep from sleep and you blush at the nickname, "How are you feeling?" He asked rubbing his eyes under his mask. He then removed it, the dark circles under his eyes clear. You feel bad suddenly seeing him so disheveled. Aether made it a point to be professional, perfect and poised.

Despite the new change in demeanor, you realize you are currently in his bed wearing one of his Pink Floyd tshirts. Your jaw clenches, "oh my god." Your brain screams, "I totally just fucked my best friend. Or wait. I don't remember. Did he? Like...he did before? I thought Aether was different." Your face twisted and changed as your mind raced with thousands of questions. Aether sensed that you were more than on edge, and noticed your breathing become strained, "y/n relax, you are safe here" he tried to comfort and scooted towards you to hold you, but you coward in fear, "NO PLEASE DONT DO IT PLEASE AETHER!" You start to get off of the bed, moving slowly, like prey in the direct line of sight with the predator, "I won't tell anyone. I promise." You start to back out towards the door.

Aether's face has confusion written all over it. His brows were knitted together watching you fear him, he didn't know what he did wrong. Finally, once your hand was on the door knob, he understood, "Y/N! No we did not...I mean" he walked over to you, you still cowered in his shadow, "I did not do anything. Your clothes from earlier were too bulky, you started heating up" he slowly took your hand off the doorknob and into his, "I didn't take off anything or...touch you in anyway...I would never..I...I know what you've been through and I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable...I-" his rambling was cut off by you throwing yourself into his arms. He stumbled slightly and hesitated before wrapping his arms around you, your cheek rested on his chest, his chin on top of your head,

"I'm sorry for letting my brain go that way" you mumbled into his shirt, he squeezed you against him, "it is not your fault. Do you want to go back to your room?" You shook your head 'no' and nuzzled more into his chest. Aether chuckled, "Do you want to stay here?" You nod 'yes'. He laughs a little more this time, " Do you want cuddles?" You nod 'yes' more aggressively. Both of you laugh and he carries you over to the bed, gently laying you in the middle. He climbs in after placing his left hand on your waist, the right resting under your cheek between the pillow and your face. You nuzzled into his hand, moving closer so your faces are only centimeters away. You place your right hand on his cheek, gently tracing his strong cheekbones and jawline, "You like what you see?" He joked, "Definitely" you quip back. Being bold, you decide to crash your lips onto his.

He doesn't kiss back at first, shocked at how forward you were being, but then he melted in your hands, you melted into his. Both of you pulled away, faces flushed gasping for air, smiling like fools. You let out a big yawn, "Rest love. I'll keep you safe" he whispered into your ear. You let out a sound of thanks before nuzzling into his chest, safe, content, and in love.