TRIGGER WARNING (MENTIONS OF GUN VIOLENCE)

Give it to them mother fucker!

Sodo stood center stage, hitting the iconic Square Hammer riff, the crowd goes crazy.

Rain walks over to his left, they do their iconic lean

I come from the right, a job usually meant for my boyfriend, Aether.

We stomp in unison, pyrotechnics flying, crowd screaming, then here comes Papa IV, blue sequined suit and all. The sooner the show ends the better. Hospital visitation hours are limited and I promised.

Living in the Night...'Neath devils torn asunder

That was always his favorite to play, a simple two chord down strum in unison with the band. Simple, together, lovely, the things he adored about touring with this group of people.

You call on me to solve a crooked rhyme

I wish he could take his spot back. I wish the bananas people gave me at meet and greets would be accepted by him. I wish he were here.

As I'm closing in...Imposing on your slumber

"Come on Y/N perform for the crowd. Make him proud. Make them feel like they got the best show they did even without him here" my mind screamed at my pitiful state, walking around the stage, nodding to Swiss, messing with Sodo, you knew he would be proud of you for kicking his ass in the guitar riff off and throwing more than five picks at him,

You call on me as bells begin to chime

Alright here we go, first chorus, almost done,

Are you on the Square?

Are you on the Level?

Are you ready to swear right here right now before the Devil?

The crowd screaming back the lyrics was electrifying. I see why Aether loves playing guitar for Ghost. He always tries to describe this feeling, but I finally get it now!

That you're on the square

That you're on the level

That you're ready to stand right here right now

Right here

Right now

Oh no. This is when it happened. I feel my heart racing, remembering last night's concert.

Hiding from the light

Oh Satan. Why do I feel like this? I can't breathe. I can't see. It's not because of the mask, but I feel claustrophobic

Sacrificing Nothing

That bastard did. He sacrificed nothing but I had to sacrifice my everything.

Still you call on me for entrance to the shrine

Hammering the nails

Oh no. His favorite line. Y/N stop crying. Stop it, just play. Play and perform

Into a sacred coffin

Don't think of coffins. He'll be fine. Aether will be okay.

Are you on the square?

Are you on the level?

Come on move. You've been standing and staring off. Okay just stare at the cameras, they'll make a thirst trap out of it.

Are you ready to swear right here right now before the Devil?

"Hey, y/n are you okay?" Sodo walked over, and whispered it into your mask,

That you're on the square

That you're on the level

"Yeah, yeah." You responded, and threw a pick at him and skipped to the other side of the stage

That you're ready to stand right here right now

Right here

Why does his guitar feel heavy? Why would you play his guitar? No. He likes it when you play his guitar. He always made you play Darkness at the Heart of my Love while he sang before the show. It was your ritual.

Right now

Singing it alone today was much more sad. He does have a better voice than me.

Are you on the square

Are you on the level

No. I'm not built for this. I know I'm the back up, but I like being backstage. Alone. Listening to my friends play their hearts out. Sometimes I strum with them, having my own little concert in my dressing room.

Are you ready to swear right here right now before the Devil?

I have gone on for everyone but Papa. People have weddings, funerals, contracted days off and you go on then and it's a totally different energy. I felt wanted, needed, and loved. Today did not feel like that, I felt so much anxiety

That you're on the square

That you're on the level

Almost Y/N. Almost done. Hold back the tears

That you're ready to stand right here right now

Right here

Right Now

Come on guys. Rush the ending please. It's getting late

Right here

Right now

Right here

Right now

Right here

Right now

I see Rain and Sodo look at me, we all nod, I start to leave the stage early. Sunshine nods, Swiss pats my shoulder as I run by

Right here

Right Nowwwwwww

Papa held the last note, I take the guitar off sprinting to my dressing room. I throw my mask off, strip my costume and just toss it on the couch. Dumb shirt buttons...why are there so many. Whatever, just pull it off over your head. Throw it on the couch. You can deal with it later. What time is it? 10:45?!?! Shit. I have to be there by 11. Throw on his shirt. Keep your leggins on, converses stay too. Shit his guitar. Shove it in the case, take it with you. Time to go.

I start my car and get out of the venue's parking lot as quickly as I can. Thank Satan or God that the hospital was only a few blocks away and that the band agreed to take their time with bows to try and hold traffic off for me. That was very nice of them.

I park and practically sprint into the waiting room, "Hi, hi can I please see Aether Catalyst" I know I look crazy. I know my braided hair is wet with sweat, my black make up around my eyes I wear with the mask is streaking, and I know carrying a guitar case is strange, "Family?"

"Yes."

"Relation?"

Ah shit. He's going to kill me, "Wife."

"Do you know his room number?" Room 666. Ironic isn't it, "Yes. Thank you" go, go, go he might be sleeping, no he won't be sleeping, he's a night owl

There it is room 666. Breath Y/N, breath. He will be okay. Just, be you, make him smile, make him laugh, open the door you wuss.

Oh Lord. He looks bad. Why are there so many monitors, no don't cry. Do not cry, "Aether?" dammit voice why did you have to crack. Ah! He moved, "Hey it's Y/N. I'm here I'm here" his hand is so cold, "Y/N?" He sounded so weak, "Yeah babe. It's me. I told you I'd be here." I move his hand to my face, I can feel him try and sit up, "Hey, let me help." I push a button on the bed that lets him sit up without struggle. The bandage around his stomach was red. Had the bleeding not stopped? I know my eyes show anger, fear, and tears, "Hey. Y/N stop it, I'll be fine." His hand shook weakly as his thumb stroked my cheek, "I know babe. I can't do this without you. We got to square hammer, and I- I couldn't move. I felt myself panic." He wiped away my tears. Classic Aether, even though he got shot last night and is now laying in a hospital bed hooked up to who knows what, and he still comforts you, "I just. I...I saw it happen all over again." I couldn't help myself. I had to hold him. Just to make sure he was there, that he heard me. I hugged around his waist, careful to not squeeze near the wound on his right side. I felt a bandage on my neck as he moved his arm around my neck, his right arm got grazed by a bullet too.

"Well, although I do appreciate your concern, I have some good news" He said, breaking the comfortable silence,

"Yes?" I let him go a little bit, our faces only inches apart, he tucks some stray hairs behind my ears, and kept analyzing my face, "For Satan sake tell me" I couldn't help it! The man is stalling,

"I will get out of here in a week. I can go back on tour, not play, but I can be there, backstage on the bus or in the hotel" I couldn't believe it! The doctors told me to prepare for the worse, but he is getting out in a few days! I squealed, I was so happy and I couldn't hold back. I kissed him, I just threw my lips on his, I could feel him laughing before he finally kissed me back,

"Now," he said as you pulled back to breathe, "How many picks did you throw at Sodo?"

"A total of six." he laughed. It was quiet but it was there. I missed it,

"Did you win the guitar riff?"

"Duh."

"That's my girl!" I could see the pride in his face. I kiss him again,

"Alright. Now rest. The show tomorrow is cancelled. I'm spending the night here" I see him go to argue, "No arguing, I have made up my mind." I move away from him and grab a chair, "I hear him shuffle around in the bed, "Come lay with me. Don't sleep on a chair. There's room" I turn around and sigh. He moved all the way to the right side of the bed, all his tubes, wires, and cords were organized on that side so I wouldn't lay on them. Stubborn man.

Ah hell, whatever. I smile and crawl next to him. He puts his arm around my shoulder and I gently roll on my side and place my hand on his chest, just feeling his heartbeat knowing what might have been makes my tear up. What if I did loose him, what if that crazy guy hit his heart, "I love you Y/N" He whispered, he could probably tell I was lost in my thoughts and freaking out, "I love you too Aether, now sleep."