c h a p t e r   f o u r  |  e d i t e d
"a lost cause" ～ your therapist :)

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You were walking to school the next morning, alone. Ever since you and Jungkook fought three weeks ago he's been giving you the cold shoulder, unfortunately that included not walking you to school or walking you home.

To be honest you missed not having someone to talk to in the mornings, or afternoons. You missed the inside jokes you guys had, and most of all you missed the friendship you both knew.

Also the fact that you were a social loner who didn't have many friends at all— *aheM* none.

His little silent treatment was annoying you, especially because you knew your laughing couldn't have triggered this outcome. You used to tease him all the time and he never got that upset. Something else was going on that he wasn't telling you about.

But you would continue to take your mother's advice, just give him some space and be patient. I mean he's sure to come around, right? He can't be mad at you forever over a silly thing like that. You'll have to ask him what's the real reason that's bothering him, soon.

Finally you got to the school, the time seemed so short because of your busy mind; elaborating on possible life situations that would make Jungkook that upset. Trugging to all your classes you stayed quiet for most of the day, not saying anything or volunteering like the rest.

It's what you've been doing since you guys fought, you just didn't have the energy anymore with your thoughts running in circles on itself. Let's not forget the factor that you've been getting lazier because of exams, go productivity!

Soon enough it was a little more than halfway through the school day, and that meant lunch time. Not like you felt like eating, the day after you fought with Jungkook you went to the cafeteria to eat alone, and that ended badly enough. Who knew girls could be so damn mean?

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You made sure to sit at the back table alone with with your lunch, because of the nice sunlight on that side that illuminated the otherwise darkish cafetera. A group of girls that used to tease you before you and Jungkook became friends sat at that exact table, plopping their trays directly next to yours.

They made stupid jokes about your meal choice, but you didn't do anything. Just sat there as nonsense words came flying out of their mouth. As their greedy little fingers took your food and pulled at your hair a bit. That however was the final straw, they could talk crap all they wanted but the moment they decided to touch you was when you had enough.

Immediately getting up you took your milk carton and spilled it on one of the girls head, furious at the fact that they thought you couldn't protect yourself.

Well fuck jungkook, you didn't need him. You could take care of your goddamn self from the jackass people here on your own from now on.
 
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So you skipped lunch, the food wasn't that special either you'd rather just wait until you got home. Who knew what ingredients they were using to make the supposed "teriyaki chicken".  

You got through the rest of the day, until finally, finally the bell rang singling dismissal.

To be honest Korea was getting on your nerves, you felt so out of place and you never picked up on slang as fast as the others. The education system sucked and you had gotten massive breakouts because of all the stress they piled on your shoulders. Also the fact that once you graduate it takes years to find a job, jungkook the soon to be idol star doesn't have to deal with that, his lucky ass. 

Transferring seemed like a really good idea right now, going back to America. To a place where there aren't any 'Oppas' or crazy ladies that obsess over guys in school.

Wait, actually that second part is in the USA too... damn it.

Mexico? But then you don't really know Spanish so that sucks. Can you live there just knowing how to say ¿Hola como estas? Realmente no me importa. ¿Dónde está la comida? 

Okay then how about Australia?

Nothing happens in Australia.

You'll just think about this later when you get home, you told yourself.

Grabbing your backpack you launched out of the classroom, quickly speed walking. A sleeping through the whole afternoon idea consuming your thoughts that you suddenly didn't realize you bumped into someone.

"Ah shit sorry, I didn't look where I was go-," you mumbled out before glancing up at a face you recognized so well, eyes widening in shock almost on cue. 

It was Jungkook.

He bit his bottom lip with a smirk, carefully looking at you with curiosity as if about to say something, but of course you didn't give the jerk a chance and just hightailed out from his view.

Of course after you gave him the middle finger right in his precious face.

Heading outside you kept running, until you reached the small park a little bit away from school. You let your knees drop to the grass, the prickly feeling against your skin causing great discomfort at the moment. Leaning your head against the bark of a tree trunk as you took deep breaths to calm yourself after the sprinting.  

air,

a i r...

aiR nEeDED

You didn't know why you ran. Maybe it was because you didn't want to hear a sharp remark slip past his lips, or maybe you just weren't ready to confront him again. Or maybe you had no reason at all, and you just needed to have a long run until you couldn't breathe. Although the last one isn't very likely if you're being honest.

You missed being happy.

You missed feeling alive, because this right now, this wasn't living.

School, home, school, home, school, home. That became the normal routine. 

This was just passing through life like a ghost, and if life would be like this from now on,



well you didn't want to live this life.

Instead you wanted to live the life of a girl in Hawaii tanning on the beach!

Hell yes, you were dead set on transferring to Hawaii now.

And sure it might seem like you were overreacting, but it was true. You weren't just a lovesick puppy, you missed the person who brought joy into your life when your parents used to fight. You missed the person who took care of you, you missed the person you could spend countless hours laughing with. You missed your best friend since forever, you missed the fucken jerk. 

You missed Jungkook.

But obviously he doesn't miss you, a little voice said in your mind. Making you let out a sigh of frustration as you fell backwards on the grass. The bitch was right. 

"So what can I do?" you asked yourself while ripping blades of the grass into tiny pieces, to let out your anger of course. 

Buy a best friend starter pack in Hawaii?

No you idiot she can't do that!

Why not?

Have you SEEN the prices on those things? Gurl she could treat us to a bigbang concert with that shit. 

Why do we even need best friends anyway?

Yea why do we need them?

"Maybe because I'm an unsocial awkward teen girl who's just waiting for puberty to hit me like a truck?" you shot back, mentally arguing with yourself as you realized just how true that sentence was. 

You mean puberty hit US like a truck.

True I am you.

And you are me.

"Why am I talking to myself?" you groaned out in a weary tone, trying to block out the sun with your thumb now for own pure amusement. 

How the hell should we know?!

Ask yourself that question we can't figure everything out for you, god forbid child.

I feel like a slave at this point. 

Worst part is we don't even get paid.

"I'm talking to imaginary people in my head... holy fuck im going insane. JUNGKoOk cOmE bAcK yOu aSshOLE!" You screamed out to the birds in the trees, scaring them as they immediately tried to flap their wings away.

You already are hoe.

You mean WE already are

Eh same thing.