Trigger warnings:
Self-harm.
Extreme violence.

"Killian!" Angelo yelled, crouching down in front of me. "Killian, someone, help!" His eyes were wide as he took in the bloody scene, landing on my hands.

"Lina, I'm gonna need for you to put that down," he said but didn't give me the chance to hand the blade over, gripping my wrist and taking the blade from me. "It's gonna be okay," he said, tucking the blade into his shirt pocket. He held my hands in one hand, putting pressure on my stomach with his other.

Tears were streaming down my face as my brother frantically tried to stop the bleeding even as I sobbed and squirmed at the pain. "I'm sorry, Angelo."

"It'll be okay," he murmured, "don't apologize."

Killian sprinted into the bathroom, his eyes widening at the sight. He knelt down and gestured to the cupboard. "Angelo, pass me some towels," he ordered and our oldest brother reached behind him to grab multiple towels from the shelf.

I stayed still as Killian wrapped the towels around my legs and applied pressure. "It's gonna be okay, bambina," he murmured.

I sobbed, mumbling incoherent words. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Killian leaned back on his heels. "Help me get her to her bed. I'm going to need to do stitches for some of these cuts."

Angelo lifted me into his arms, walking out of the bathroom, and carefully placed me onto my bed. "I'll be right here, Bambina."

I lay back into the pillows, eyes burning with exhaustion. "I'm sorry, Angelo. I'm sorry," I mumbled, Angelo brushing strands of hair from my face.

"It's okay," he murmured, kissing my hair. Killian followed us to the bed, talking on his phone.

"Christian, I need you to come up stairs to Alina's room," he ordered. "Bring a medical bag from the downstairs closet, under the stairs ... Sí, sí. Apresúrate." [Yes, yes. Hurry up].

I shook my head. "No - no, I don't want anyone else to see - " I sobbed, shoving Angelo back. "I don't want anyone else to see this ... ouch."

My older brother held the towel tighter to my stomach and Angelo held onto my hands, holding them tight when I tried to pull away. Moments later, the bedroom door burst open and Christian sprinted in, carrying a black bag.

"Does she need stitches?" He asked, handing the bag to my brother, his eyes widening slightly at my wounds before masking his shock.

"Yes, not many though. Help me clean them." Killian opened the bag, slipping on a pair of gloves and rummaging through the bag. Christian moved to the other side of me, checking my wounds on stomach. "These ones just need cleaned."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, as they both began to clean the self-inflicted wounds. Angelo held me close, pulling my head into his chest. "I'm sorry, I can't - I can't -"

"Shh, baby, it's okay, it's okay," he said, kissing my hair, "you've got nothing to apologize for, Alina." Killian and Christian finished cleaning my cuts, I focused on their whispers as they discussed whether or not which ones needed stitches.

I felt uncomfortable and tired but Angelo refused to let me go, hugging me tight and it made me feel safer. Killian glanced up at me. "Lina, it's gonna sting, okay?"
He continue working, not waiting for a response. I don't think I could give him one anyway, my mouth dry, my face literally hurting from crying so much. When he finished, my older brother leaned back and tore his gloves off.

"You did so well, bambina."

"I'll take her to my bedroom," Angelo said, carefully lifting me up into his arms, not caring about the blood, my blood, on his shirt. "Can you ask Carlotta to come in and change her sheets and clean her bathroom?"

I buried my face in my brothers chest, finding a little bit of comfort. Angelo took me into his bedroom, setting me on his bed. "Let me get a washcloth and I'll help you clean up."

Angelo went into his bathroom and I took a moment to look around at my oldest brothers room. He had black painted walls and blackout curtains that made the room almost pitch black if it wasn't for the bathroom light. He had a large dresser and an armchair in the centre of the room with clothes piled on it.

He came back with a washcloth, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me. "Let me see your hands." He gently took my hands in his and began cleaning the blood away, the cloth warm against my skin.

"I'm sorry, Angelo ... I don't - it's not," I squeezed my eyes shut, unsure of what to really say. He knew about my cutting but not why, why I felt like hurting myself.
I couldn't tell him, I couldn't tell him about Michael and what he did to me.

I just couldn't.

+++

A few hours later, back in my bedroom, tucked under fresh sheets and blanket. Killian refused to leave me alone, constantly keeping me under supervision. I hated it and it made me feel embarrassed and I could barely look at him because of the shame.

"Please leave me alone," I mumbled, as he flipped a page of his book. He shook his head, glancing up and met my eyes.

"No, Alina," he murmured, his voice soft and gentle but his eyes hard with worry.

I pushed the blanket away and swung my feet to sit. I stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," I muttered. "Is that okay with you?"

He narrowed his eyes, a warning me not to sass him. "Keep the door unlocked."

"God, stop treating me like I'm going to fucking kill myself," I blurted, slamming the door shut. I kept the door unlocked because I'm pretty sure my brother would have broken it in.

"What's going on in here?" I heard Angelo ask, entering my room. I didn't hear Killian's response. I didn't care. I felt numb, shaken at what'd I'd done.

I took my sweet time in the bathroom, annoyed with Killian. I knew - deep down - he was doing what he knew best but he could give me room to breath. I reached out to the tap, splashing some water in my face. I made the mistake of looking up, seeing my reflection in the mirror.

I felt my eyes widen at the sight of myself. Pale as a ghost, my eyes had dark bags under them. My hair was a mess, tangled and knotted. I looked and felt like absolute shit.

I let out a soft cry, hoping no one heard, my hand reaching up to pull at my hair, biting my fist to hold back a frustrated scream. "Alina?" Angelo called and moments later there was a soft knock on the door and I straightened, reaching over and opening it. I broke into fresh tears at his expression and pulled at my hair.

"Hey, hey," Angelo rushed to my side, pinning my arms to my side and holding me tight against his chest. "Banbina, it's okay."

"No, it's not ..."

"You're right, it's going to take time but know I'm here," he murmured, rocking me back and forth in his arms. "I love you so much, Alina."

Eventually, Angelo calmed me down enough and I settled back into bed, my abdomen throbbing. Angelo stayed with me for a few hours, watching TikTok. I managed to fall asleep on his chest, waking only when I heard him and Killian talking in hushed whispers.

"She needs someone to talk to, Angelo," Killian snapped at our older brother.

"She has us," Angelo said, squeezing me to his chest.

"I meant a professional."

"Only if she wants it."

"It doesn't matter if she wants it or not, I'm not going to let her fall through the cracks because you're scared of losing her again."

Angelo scoffed. "I'm not scared."

"Yeah, you are ... you're scared of losing her again and that's okay but you are her guardian too, just not her brother."

"Killian."

"I know it can be difficult - you know this too, but it's for her own good. At least one appointment."

"You don't have to argue about me," I stated, opening my eyes. I struggled to sit up, my stomach throbbing. Angelo helped sit me up, leaning me against him. I felt exhausted and nauseous, pain searing from the wounds on my stomach.

"Are you in pain?"

"Yeah, a little. My head is throbbing, from crying, I think."

Killian reached into his sweater pocket, opening a bottle of pills. He gave me a pill without saying a word, going back to his book. I swallowed it with the water on my nightstand.

Angelo sighed after a few moments of awkward silence. "I've got some calls to make, are you okay with Killian?"

I grunted. "I guess."

Angelo chuckled, maneuvering around me, standing. He leaned down to kiss my head. "I'm sorry, he's overprotective but he just wants to make sure you're safe."

Killian huffed and I smiled a little. Angelo left and I looked at Killian. "You really don't have to stay with me-"

"I'm not leaving, Alina."

"I'm not going to-

"I know, and I am sorry for being ... overbearing. I don't want to leave you alone right now, so you'll have to deal with me."

I glanced away, deep down agreeing that I shouldn't be left alone. I reached for my book and read for an hour, Killian never leaving my side.

"Tell em something about you that I don't know," I said, tired of sitting in silence. He closed his book and smiled, thinking for a moment.

"I spent a year in culinary school before I decided to be a doctor."

I opened my mouth to ask another question when someone knocked on the door. Julian peered inside. He smiled when his eyes locked with mine but I didn't return the smile. "Alina," he said softly, holding up a bag of McDonald's. I felt my mood lighten, just a wee bit, at the smell of french fries and grease. "Can I come in?"

I have a short nod. Killian stood up and knelt down beside me, reaching out to gently touch my hand. "I'll be back in a few hours. Julian will keep you company and Christian is just outside."

"I don't need a guard."

"He's not a guard, but he'll be here in case you need anything."

"You're ridiculous." I crossed my arms.

"This is not up for discussion, Alina."

"You're annoying."

"Don't care. I'll see you later, think about what you want for dinner tonight." He shot Julian a look and left.

"How about we watch a movie?" Julian asked and I nodded, sinking into the pillows. I watched him move around my room, setting up the television and browsing Netflix. I stayed quiet, closing my eyes, exhausted, before falling asleep again.

Killian's POV

I drove to one of our warehouses with a heavy heart. I had some business to take care of, something I didn't like to do, but it had to be done. I didn't want to leave my little sister when she was struggling, but work had to be done.

I stepped out of my car and grabbed the duffel bag from the passengers seat. I nodded to Abel who stood outside the side door of the warehouse, smoking a cigarette. "Angelo is inside, with Valentina," he said and I groaned at the mention of our cousin. He smirked.

"Why's she here?"

"Val helped Enzo find Hector. She's already given Angelo an ear full." He stomped his cigarette out and held the door open for me. I heard my nineteen year old cousin before I see her.

"You selfish bastard," Val snarled in her thick Italian accent, pointing a accusing finger at my older brother. "How fucking dare you not tell us that la bambina was found?" [the baby]

I stopped, biting my lip to hold back my laughter. The look on Angelo's face was priceless, his eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed in anticipation to argue back but not quite sure how to interrupt because Val was on a roll. "You're telling me you've known about her for what, like six fucking days, and you still had no plan on telling any of us?"

"We are her brothers, Val, we just got her back -"

Valentina scoffed. "We are also her family, you idiota!"

No one gets off with yelling at the head of the family like Valentina does. Angelo might be a teddy bear with Alina but he'd kick our asses for disrespecting him. He had a soft spot for Valentina, always had, but more so since her kidnapping two years ago.

We were lucky to find her alive.

"Excuse me, could you two shut up? You're going to give me a headache," I snapped, making them both whip their heads toward me. Angelo looked relieved while Val turned her glare on me.

"Val, it's been a few difficult days, okay?" I tried to be calm. She didn't need to know about today, about what Alina did to herself. "Granny and the others will know when Alina is ready to meet everyone."

"She's met Julian!"

"He literally held a gun to her head," I said, deadpanned.

Val opened her mouth and closed it. "I ... oh, Granny isn't going to be happy about that."

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at my brother. "Where is he?"

Angelo pointed to the room, the cell, beside me.

Abel unlocked the cell door and I stepped inside.

I sighed and walked in, and crouched down in front of the man, taking a deep breath in, taking in the heinous sight of Hector Alvarez.

"What do you even need me for, seems like you already did some damage."

"You know how to make 'em talk. He won't for me, the bitch."

My older brother had tied his wrists to the arms of the chair, tying his ankles to the legs. He had beat him, blood pooling on the ground beneath him. I reached onto the table and snapped on a pair of gloves before checking his pulse.

"He's still alive," I called out to my brother.

"Oh lovely," Angelo said, lips twisting in disgust. "He's all yours, Killian."

He and Valentina left the cell and shut the door behind them as they began to bicker again, not hesitating to leave me alone with this man, even knowing I would kill him before the night was over.

"Hector Alvarez," I glanced over at his photo ID, "New England, 56 Albert Street ... that's where your wife, Selene, and your daughters, Belle and Sophia live, right?" I flicked my eyes up across the photograph of him, a woman, and two teenage girls hugging onto him, smiling and laughing.

"P-please don't hurt my family, my girls," he begged, tears running down his cheeks. "Please don't hurt them."

"I'll tell you what," I said, standing and stepped over to the table, picking up a thin sewing needle. I turned and faced him. "I won't hurt your family if you answer some questions for me, Hector, okay?"

"I-I don't know anything."

"Now now, I haven't even asked a question. First one, why were your finger prints inside the house of Dahlia and Michael Woods?"

"I don't know, I don't know who they are," he mumbled, shaking his head.

I sighed and reached down, taking a hold of his pointer finger. "One last time, Hector. Why were your finger prints inside the house of Dahlia and Michael Karros?"

"I don't know what you're talking about- I don't know who they are, I promise you."

I sighed. "Wrong answer."

I stuck the needle underneath his nail, pushing it so deep it reached the nail bed. His screams echoed across the cell, until I pulled it out. "I was sent there to kill them," he gasped.

"Who sent you?" He didn't reply, shaking his head. I picked up his middle finger, sighing before pressing the needle in deep under his nail.

He screamed again.

"Okay, okay," he yelled, gasping and I took the needle out, "Camilo Melendez." My blood boiled, knowing the name. It belonged to a very vile and cruel man, leader of a Spanish cartel. "... I owed him money, I gambled and owed him money."

"Who exactly were you supposed to kill?"

"Dahlia and Michael Woods." He gasped for air before continuing, "I went inside and shot them both."

"He told you to burn the house down?"

"Not exactly. I was then told to wait inside until their daughter got home."

"Why? What did you want her for?" I asked, my heart racing. I didn't want this bastard to say my sister's name but I needed to confirm that she had been the target that day.

"Melendez told me to bring her to him ... he wanted her and said my debt would be paid."

"What is her name?"

"I don't know -"

"What is her name?" I pushed for an answer. I pushed the needle so deep it sent shivers down my spine, imagining the pain he must have felt.

"Alina Morena."

Him saying her name made my stomach twist. How the hell did he know we were related, how did he know her last name was Morena if she had been a Woods for years? I asked him but he didn't know why. I tortured the shit out of him - literally - and he didn't give in, meaning he didn't know.

I asked a few more questions, confirming details, some I knew, some that I needed more information on. I found out how he kept in contact with Camilo Melendez, including a phone number and meeting place to drop my little sister off once he had her.

The bastard planned to kidnap my sister and hand her off to a Mexican cartel. She would have been killed or worse, trafficked and sold. I almost throw up at the thought.

Instead, I tossed the sewing needle onto the table and took my gun out from my waistband, cocking it and rested it against Hector's temple. "No, please, I want to see my girls again," he pleased, tears streaming down his face. "Please."

"I won't hurt your family," I assured him, showing mercy, before pulling the trigger.

+++
Thanks for reading!
Favourite brother?
Killian has a dark side to him 😈🤣
I want to remind you that this is a mafia book, so there will be violence. I am also anxious to get into what I believe is how a mafia works and operates, their code of conduct.
- Charlie 🧡