Bam's Pov

I felt him go limp in my arms, his eyes closing. no.. no.. no.. no My eyes widened, and I let out uncontrollable sobs, continuing to apply pressure to the wound. I began to tear off my jacket and my shirt, tearing it to shreads, creating a temporary bandage. He was losing to much blood, I think he had already lost a liter.. He needs to get to the hospital now. And as if on que, paramedics rushed into the room, stealing Khun away from me. I thrashed around, trying to get back to Khun. I don't want to let him go again.. I can't have him leave. It's my fault. I was just about to get near him when I was tugged back. Infuriated, I turned to see Jinsung.

"Your acting like you were as a kid.. Calm down. They're helping him. He will be fine. He will be alright the quicker he gets medical attention." I slammed into him, wrapping my arms around him. I sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. He ran his hand through my hair, just like when I was a kid and I had my nightmares. It was comforting.. I missed hugs.. I hadn't gotten a good hug in seven years..

As much as I wanted to stay, I couldn't. I soon unlatched from Jinsung, sprinting towards the ambulance. I need to make sure he is ok. Plus they never said I couldn't ride with him. I rushed up to the paramedics explained that I was his boyfriend, and they reluctantly let me ride in the ambulance with him. I'm sure they'd wouldn't like a gun up to their head or a knife up to there neck if it came to it. They swiftly began to hook him up to various machines, trying to keep his heart going. I slipped his limp hand in mine, not letting go. I won't let go of him, not ever again..

We swiftly made it into the hospital, and Khun was rushed into immediate surgery. Watching them roll his limp body on a white table, it was pure agony. I never experienced so much pain all at once in my lifetime.. I don't know how much more I could take..

But I continued to sit in a separate waiting room, silently crying. I can't believe it. After all this time, when I finally get to see him again; he busts in, saves me, and gets shot. It's all my fault. If he never came for me, he would've been fine. I paced around, still a quiet, crying mess.

Jinsung, Edahn, and Yuri soon came, and I has also overheard that Shibisu and the rest of them were on there way. The three of them had came in to find me ridiculing a doctor for answers. I want to know if he is going to live. He still didn't know if he was or if he wasn't, and that it wasn't a definite recovery or even surgery killed me. Jinsung quickly tore me away from the doctor, sitting me down. He sat me down, and reassured me not to worry. I couldn't help it anymore I jumped up and snapped.

"YOU TELL ME NOT TO WORRY? HE WAS SHOT IN THE CHEST! I LOST BOTH OF MY PARENTS, I HAD NO ONE! I WAS RAPED FOR YEARS AND I WAS BROKEN! YOU SAW ME! I DIDN'T WANT TO GO NEAR YOU, I THRASHED AND FOUGHT. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO RAPE ME! I WAS THIRTEEN! THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD! I DIDN'T TRUST ANYONE! I WAS BULLIED BY KIDS, AND THEN I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE I LOVE, SOMEONE WHO FINALLY MADE ME FEEL GOOD! BUT I'M TORN AWAY FROM HIM, TORMENTED AND TRAINED LIKE A SOLDIER, NO, A KILLER! AND THEN HE IS SHOT! AND TO ADD ON TOP OF IT, IT WAS MY FUCKING FAULT! IF HE DIES, ITS MY BURDEN! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW! I DON'T CARE WHO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE THAT HE LIVES!"

I was a sobbing mess, my knees and arms felt weak and I collased onto the floor. I didn't know what to do anymore.. If he doesn't make it, I don't know how I could continue. He was the thing keeping me going all this time. I had a oncoming headache that pounded at my skull, it felt like my body was gonna break at any moment. Everything felt hot and loud, I felt out of control.

I slipped my head onto the floor, breaking down. I could feel everyone's gaze. Jinsung was the only one the know what happened fully. They probably just think I'm a baby. I'm messed up. Yuri won't want to see me again and Edahn won't want me around Khun. If he even lives..

I continued to cry, letting out everything I had bottled up for my whole life. From not having parents to support me from the beginning, to Rachel, to this stupid fucking gang.. I was broken my whole live. Getting more broken, getting more bruised, and I couldn't take much more. I couldn't take anymore. I felt a light hand on my shoulder before being pulled into a hug. I couldn't tell who it was, but I immediately hugged back, I really wanted a hug from Khun..

But I didn't want to be a mess, I wanted to have him in my arms. I wanted to have more snowball fights. I wanted to go to movies. I wanted to go on a first date with him. I wanted to do so much with him. I want to do so much.. But how will I do that without him? How..? My tears continued, my sobs slightly calming down.

I peaked up to see who was hugging.. Shibisu? I gasped before pulling him into another hug. I let go and looked around before seeing everyone else. Rak, Endorsi, Anak, Lauroe, and Hatz. I pulled them all into a group hug, staying like that for a few minutes. I haven't seen them in forever! They all matured..

I eventually let go, wiping my tears. I probably looked like a mess. I had my long hair, my face was probably all swollen and tear-stained from crying, I didn't have a shirt from ripping it earlier, and my chest had dried blood and scars. But luckily I still had my normal black jeans. Shibisu looked at me, with pity in his eyes.? "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry you went through all of those things.." My eyes went wide.. My breathing worse.. T-they heard..? I turned to Jinsung petrified. He looked worried, and rushed over towards me.

I pushed him away, wrapped my arms around myself. "P-please don't touch me.. I don't think I can handle it much anymore.. I just-
I don't know.." I tore away from the group, placing myself in a chair, resting my head onto my knees. My head was pounding, my mind was all over the place. I just need to think and have a time to myself, though my mind isn't the best place..

The room went quiet, and I heard shuffling and creaking of chairs, but never dared to look up. I sat with myself, thinking over everything I had done in life. Why was life so cruel? What did I do to deserve this? ... After a few hours, I could see the room darken through a slit between my arms. Night had struck, and I had finally peered up to see everyone was sleeping.

Little soft snores echoed throughout the dark room. But I was still awake. I couldn't and won't sleep until I knew. I stared at the door longingly waiting. In minutes, a doctor peaked into the room and was about to leave when I shot up. I rushed over towards the door, evading from stepping on the few on the floor, and whispered to the doctor, "How is he?" The doctor soon ushered me out of the room and we continued down a hallway.

"Khun's surgery was successfully, we had managed to extract the bullet. The bullet was lodged a inch away from his heart, if the bullet had moved anymore, he would've been gone. He is currently in room 367, he is still passed out and it will take him some time for recovery. But we are still unsure of a successful recovery with how much blood he had lost and because the bullet had just skimmed his spine. But he is currently stable at the moment. You can go see him now." I nodded, relieved. He was alright for now. He was ok. He was alive.

I booked it for the room, silently slipping in. The room was dark with the moonlight seeping into the room through the curtains. I tip toed towards the side for Khun's bed, sitting in a chair. His hair and skin lit up because of the moonlight. It reminded me of the party, the way he gleamed because of the moonlight. He was hooked up to varies machines but he was still handsome as ever. I slipped my hand into his.

I missed this boy so much.. I love him so much.. I felt his hand suddenly began to twitch in mine. I stopped all movement and didn't dare breath. I peered down at him to see him still sleeping peacefully. I sighed, gently squeezing his hand.

"Your the ass you know, getting shot.." I huffed, "I love you," the room went silent, my voice echoing into the night. The moon gleaming on his face, defining his facial features. I don't know how I got so lucky.. "You know, it's been a while.. I really missed you a lot. So you better wake up. We still have memories to make. I still got to take you on a date.." I brought up his hand, kissing his knuckles, before placing our hands back down.

I peered down before taking out my phone. I scrolled through my phone before pressing a certain soundtrack. "It's been a little but.. This song is dedicated to you my love," The intro music played before I began to sing,

(Play Bent & Broken by GUS)

I'm the type that think
3 or 4 times for making one move
But you got me
Wrecking my brain over the way
I'm looking at you

Over analysing
Every little sign
Across the damn room
You don't know
The way this thing goes
But baby i do

Cause i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it
I went in to close now there's
Nowhere to fight it
And you never fight it

This heart's already
Black and blue
Don't you see that you're
Running right into the fire
Yeah i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it

I scooted my chair closer, brushing the his hair out of his face. I caressed his face, dragging my thumb over his cheek. I really hope you wake up baby..

Yeah your seem to like it
Yeah i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it

Tell me baby
If you really think you're ready
For something like this
A real thing or only searching
For something to fix

I don't want to be the one
To up and leave you wasting a wish
I may be bent and i may be broken
But i'm all in

Cause i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it
I went in to close now there's
Nowhere to fight it
And you never fight it

This heart's already
Black and blue
Don't you see that you're
Running right into the fire
Yeah i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it

Yeah your seem to like it
Yeah i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it

Baby if you love a challenge
Then i'm a perfect place to start
Tell me we'll we stay together
Even when i fall apart

Oh, i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it
I went in to close now there's
Nowhere to fight it
And you never fight it

This heart's already
Black and blue
Don't you see that you're
Running right into the fire

Yeah i'm bent and i'm broken
But your seem to like it
Yeah your seem to like it

Yeah your seem to like it
I'm bent and i'm broken
Cause i'm bent and i'm broken
Yeah your seem to like it

I finished up the song.. It slowly coming to a end. That one I had barely been able to write. I was almost caught repeatedly over and over. I actually was caught. But it was one of the few people that liked me there. She brushed it off and shrugged. She was pretty nice to me, I'm not to sure why though..

The room was silent, the beeping of the machines filling the room. I didn't like the beeping. I never did. It reminded me to much of the first time I went to a hospital. Not fun.. Whatsoever.

Khun had twitched in his sleep a few times during the song, which scared the living shit out of me. I thought I had woke him up. Thankfully it was nothing, just little tiny twitches. I continued to sit in my seat, observing Khun. He looked so peacefully as he slept. So calm.

My eyes began to feel heavy, I needed sleep. I hadn't slept in a bit.. Maybe two, no three days? I laid my head down onto the edge of the bed, resting my eyes. I slowly began to fall in and out of conscious, before passing out.