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V 🔒 @ secretlogs
October 1 – three years today...

| replying to @secretlogs:
We don't really know when's the exact date of our anniversary. But we had our first date on that day three years ago.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I remember na hiyang-hiya pa ako nun kasi I've never been to a date. We were seventeen then, tapos first time din akong ayain ni Ja dahil sinabihan din siya ni Mama noon na we can only go out on dates once we finish junior high.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Nagpasama pa ako kay Jana and Devie tapos ayaw pa nila nung una. 🤣

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Pumayag lang silang sumama kasi sabi ko ililibre ko sila after that.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Hiyang-hiya ako kasi ever since grade 7, crush ko na talaga si Ja. He was that popular kid in school who doesn't even know he's popular. He just gets along with everyone and he easily makes friends ending up na pati higher batch kilala din siya.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
He's funny and smart. He's into sports din katulad ni Sir Jiro. At first ayaw ko sa kanya kasi he's everywhere and medyo maingay pa siya. Hindi ko rin gets bakit may ilan sa mga classmates ko noon na crush na crush siya. Kasi parang ang kulit kulit din ni Ja.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Until our recollection. Magkasabay yung section naming dalawa noon tapos may group group yung section nila nung lunchtime, nasusuway yung table nila ja ng mga rvm sisters na nasa reco center kasi ang ingay nila. Ja would be the one to apologize all the time.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Medyo nakakainis before kasi parang di naman nila alam na bawal maingay. Kahit hindi naman malakas boses nila, rinig na rinig sa buong function hall.

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Pero wala naman talaga ako dapat pakialam noon kay Ja. Until that time na sabay kaming nagbukas ng pinto. Papasok ako tapos palabas siya. Nautusan ako that time ng adviser namin na kumuha ng tatlong monoblock chair para kila sister kasi kasama sila sa program after lunchtime.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I remember, it was the first time Ja smiled at me. Hinawakan niya pa yung pinto para hindi ako mahirapan pumasok. He even asked if I needed any help. Sinabi ko na kaya ko, but he still insisted on helping me. Inayos niya pa yung mga upuan para kila sister tapos nag sorry ulit siya kasi maingay sila

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Hindi ko naman siya naging crush agad. Pero napapansin ko na rin. And somehow, nagegets ko na rin bakit may mga nagkaka crush sa kanya.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I didn't realize it at first. Nagulat na lang din ako na crush ko si Ja nung naging classmates kami nung grade 8. We were both chosen for the national costume contest for UN.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Our section was representing Costa Rica. Ang daming layers ng damit ko and medyo mahaba siya kaya nahihirapan akong maglakad lalo na kapag paakyat and pababa ng stairs.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Ja assisted me all day. Magdamag din kami magkasama nun para mag-practice ng walk sa stage. We even ate lunch together sa may hallway.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I realized I like him because I didn't want the day to end. Hindi naman kami super close ni Ja noon. Pero naisip ko kasi na after that day, hindi na niya ako lalapitan and kakausapin ulit kasi may sarili din naman siyang set of friends.

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Pero after nun, nilalapitan pa rin ako ni Ja sa classroom tapos Jana and Devie weren't helping at all kasi after ako kausapin ni Ja, aasarin pa nila ako. 🤧

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Ayun tuloy, sabi ko small crush lang. Pero I think lumala yun sa pang-aasar ng mga kaibigan ko eh

V 🔒 @secretlogs
But at the same time, I don't blame them. Ang cute cute din naman kasi ni Ja. Medyo chubby pa cheeks niya noon tapos nawawalan siya ng mata kapag ngumingiti.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Wala na yung chubby cheeks niya ngayon :(

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Grade 9, nagulat ako na partner kami ni Ja sa cotillion para sa prom. Super kabado ako every PE class para sa practice namin. Sabi pa ni Ja noon bakit daw ang lamig lamig ng kamay ko 😔

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Tapos hindi pa ako marunong sumayaw. I have a terrible body coordination, sinasabayan pa yun ng kaba. It's not a good combo. Natatapakan ko tuloy siya kapag nagpapractice kami. Nakakahiya 🥲

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Pero mas nagulat ako nung inaaya niya ako maging prom date. I thought he was joking. Kasi bakit ako? We're not that close kahit pa friends din naman kami.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Plus, ang dami dami rin noon na openly nagkaka crush sa kanya. He could ask them instead. Naisip ko pa na baka kaya niya ako inayang prom date kasi kami rin yung partners sa cotillion

V 🔒 @secretlogs
But then he told me likes me. Ayaw ko kasing pumayag kasi natatakot din ako baka pagalitan ako nila Mama. As a bunso, super strict ng parents ko, kahit sila ate and kuya ang strict din sakin. Bawal daw ako magka crush, bawal din ako mag boyfriend until I'm eighteen.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
That time I felt like I forced out a confession out of him. Kasi what was the reason why he's asking me to be his prom date? And nakailang sabi din ako na baka pagalitan ako. But then he said, na if nagpaalam siya kila mama and sa mga kapatid ko, and kapag pumayag sila, papayag din daw ba ako?

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I was so scared kahit gusto ko rin talaga pumayag agad. I was so sure na hindi ako papayagan, but somehow, I'd like to see him try. Kaya sabi ko na sige, basta payag sila.

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Nung nagpaalam si ja, akala ko pagagalitan din ako kasi bakit bigla akong nagpapapunta sa bahay ng kaklase tapos aayain pa ako for prom date.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
But I guess, he really has a way to charm anyone. Napapayag niya si Mama and si Ate. It took a while for my dad and kuya, but at the end, nagawa niya pa rin. Ang dami nga lang reminders.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Natatawa ako kasi nung sinamahan ko siya noon para maglakad papunta sa terminal ng tricycle, sabi niya nanginginig daw tuhod niya. Aftershock daw ng kaba 🤣

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I miss ja 😔

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I get why it's noisy anywhere when he's around.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Small lang naman yung friend group namin ni Devie and Jana. But every time na kasama namin si Ja, hindi namin namamalayan na ang ingay ingay naming apat. It feels like we're ten people combined. And I like how my friends are also comfortable with him

V 🔒 @secretlogs

| replying to @secretlogs:
This was taken by Jana when we were in grade 10 during our break time from our practice for our street dance competition. Ang sweet daw namin tingnan kaya niya kami kinuhaan ng picture 🤧

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I wanted to stay longer kasi nagkayayaan yung iba naming classmates na manood ng movie after ng practice. Pero maaga akong sinundo ni Kuya kasi may lakad siya later that night. Nagpupumilit ako noon na mag commute na lang kasi gusto ko rin makinood kasama mga classmates ko kahit alam kong mabilis ako matakot

V 🔒 @secretlogs
And I've never seen any horror movies. Ayaw din kasi nila mama at ate. Matatakutin din sila like me

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Sabi ni kuya, papuntahin ko na lang daw sila devie sa bahay. Hindi ko akalain na pati si Ja sasabihin ni kuya na isama ko. The four of us ended up watching a different movie at home hehe

V 🔒 @secretlogs
And it was my first ever horror movie experience. It wasn't that bad, pero magugulatin talaga ako sobra 🥲

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Mama even ordered pizza for us. Sinubukan niya rin maki join sa movie pero di rin siya gaano tumagal. Ayaw niya raw itsura nung mumu dun sa film 🤣

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I wasn't really allowed to go out on dates. Bawal din ako magboyfriend, so Ja never asked me the question kasi alam niya rin yung terms nila Mama. And he doesn't want to pressure me too.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
But even if I'm not allowed on dates, Ja would come by at our house to spend the day with me. Magpapaalam siya the night before kay Mama if pwede siyang pumunta. He would often come with a box of bibingka, favorite kasi ni Mama at ate yun na ipartner sa coffee.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
My family were open to him. Na minsan hinahanap na rin nila si Ja. Lalo na every after school kasi walking distance lang naman ang school sa bahay. Ja would walk me home bago siya umuwi sa kanila. Tapos kapag nakakarating kami sa bahay, pinapastay siya ni mama saglit para kumain ng merienda

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Two weeks after I turned eighteen, nagseset ako ng table nun kasi kakain na kami ng dinner. Sakto na sa bahay din kakain si Ja kasi sabi ni Mama mag stay siya kasi niluto niya yung favorite na ulam ni Ja, adobong pusit.
| replying to @secretlogs:
Kinakabahan ako noon. Wala ring idea si Ja sa gagawin ko kaya hindi ako makapagsabi sa kanya kung bakit ako hindi ako mapakali. But still, I told all of them na from that day on, Ja is my boyfriend.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Gulat na gulat silang lahat, lalo na si Ja. Naaalala ko pa rin pano siya paulit ulit na nagtanong ng "talaga?" and "totoo ba?"

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Super kabado ako kasi hindi ko rin alam kung ano irereact nila mama. Pero nung sinabi ni Ja na walang bawian at final na raw yung sinabi ko, nagtawanan na lang din silang lahat.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
And this was our first picture as a couple taken by Ate Van

| replying to @secretlogs:
It's not even nice. Ang gulo ng pagkakatali ng hair ko, and I just threw in a hoodie. Naka pajama pa ako nito. I was so tired this day kasi magdamag akong nagbantay ng booth sa school for foundation week
| replying to @secretlogs:
Late pa kami nakauwi ni ja kasi ang lala ng traffic. Sabi pa ni Mama kay Ja na he could stay the night. Nagulat kami pareho. Pero sa spare room daw siya 🤣
| replying to @secretlogs:
Halos 11 pm na rin ata ito and nagutom kami ni ate van kaya nagkayayaan kaming bumili ng snack sa 7/11. Antok na si Ja pero sinamahan niya pa rin kami ni Ate bumili
| replying to @secretlogs:
We were both so exhausted, and I don't look nice. But this is my favorite picture. 🥺

V 🔒 @secretlogs
Happy three years, Ja . . . but I know it's probably longer than that.

V 🔒 @secretlogs
I love you.
As always,
Vi.