"I tried to make things right after that argument, Enzo," I said as I wiped my tears. "I tried to be a better listener to you. I tried to find the right words to say when you share your problems with me again . . . but you never gave me a chance." I sobbed as I continued watching the calm sea. "You never talked to me about your hardships anymore. You didn't give me a chance to prove myself . . . that I can be a better person for you."

He sighed. "You never know how many times I tried to give you a chance, Ruth. When I stayed after that big argument that we had, I wanted you to ask me, to ask about how my thoughts are going, to convince me to tell you why I am being indifferent. But you never did. You just became sweeter and better in bed but it wasn't what I wanted, Ruth."

He went silent, making me glance at him. He's still watching the sea with his hands on both sides of his pockets.

"All I wanted back then was for you to check on me. But you still didn't do it. You kept on waiting and waiting until I told you everything voluntarily, like I used to do, but I couldn't do that anymore, considering how you always reacted whenever I did."

He looked at me with his serious face as his jaw clenched.

"Now, I'm taking you back. I can't let just anyone have you. I had you for years and you can't leave me just like that for some stranger that you met here."

I gulped. "Enzo . . . why do you want to have me back? I made you feel that way. I made you question your whole existence. And you never even talked to me about marriage. Why are you so mad that I have someone new again when you broke up with me?"

He gulped as he looked away. "My ego can never let you replace me with a stranger you just met here. I love you but I can't marry you before because you were that way whenever we talked about a problem. I was mad because I will never accept that you can easily replace me, more so, someone you met in a province, Ruth. You can't do that to me. We were together for six years and you will replace me in just more than a month? That easily?" He scoffed.

I gulped as I turned to the sea once again. "I am not coming with you."

"You are!" he shouted. "Why? Aren't you done being fucked by that asshole?!"

I glared at him. "Don't you ever call him that because he was never an asshole-"

"He is, the moment that he impregnated someone but didn't take the responsibility for it!"

My mouth parted. He smirked.

"You thought I didn't know that he is with his family now?" He chuckled. "You like being a mistress, Ruth? 'Yan ang ipapalit mo sa akin?" He laughed once again as he looked at the sea. "You will stoop that low just to replace me?" He looked at me once again. "Fuck, lalaking-lalaki ka na?"

I slapped his face so hard, his cheek turned red. "Don't you dare talk to me that way! Wala ka nang karapatang pagsalitaan ako ng gan'yan, Enzo! Hindi na kita boyfriend!"

He smirked. "No. May karapatan ako sa 'yo. Hindi pa tayo tapos." He clenched his jaw. "You want me to marry you? Fine! I will marry you right away, when we get back to Manila! 'Yun ba ang issue mo? Why? Did that asshole ask you to marry him?!"

I didn't answer. I continued glaring at him but he laughed.

"And you accepted it because you're easy to get? Hindi mo inisip na may pamilya na 'yung tao? You would go that far for someone you just met in less than a fucking month?!"

I couldn't listen to all of his words anymore. It is more painful now than before. I was about to walk out of him but he grabbed my wrist and forcefully made me face him.

"Ano ba?!" I shouted as I slapped his chest.

"'Wag kang bastos, kinakausap pa kita."

"I don't want to talk to you anymore, Enzo. I told you, tapos na tayo. Ikaw ang tumapos, hindi ba?!"

He smirked. "Nangga-gaslight ka na rin ngayon? Hindi porke ako ang nang-iwan, wala ka nang kasalanan. You were responsible for every decision that I made, Ruth. Alam mo 'yan. Alam mong nagawa ko 'yon dahil wala sa ayos ang isip ko pero ngayon, maayos na ako. Hindi mo ako p'wedeng ipagpalit nang gano'n lang. You were begging me before, right? To come back to you. Now, I'm here. I'm taking you back. Ano pa bang kulang?"

I caught a glimpse of pain in his eyes but I couldn't care about it anymore.

"Hindi na kita mahal."

With just those words, his grip on my wrist loosened, making it escape from his big hand.

"Hindi na kita mahal, Enzo. I'm sorry."

His mouth slightly parted as he looked away from me. He watched the sea silently. For a few minutes, he wasn't talking. All I could hear was the wind that blows here and the noise of the people talking.

Then, he decided to break the ice and talk.

"You fell out of love that fast?" he asked in his low voice. "Why?"

I gulped. "Hindi ko alam."

He looked at me. "Dahil sa bagong lalaki mo . . . sasabihin mo na kaagad sa akin na hindi mo na ako mahal? Gano'n kadali?"

I looked directly at his eyes. "Mahal ko si Grayson."

"Hindi gano'n kabilis nagmamahal ang isang tao, Ruth!" he shouted. "Kung ano man ang nararamdaman mo sa kan'ya ngayon, do you think it will last? No. You were rushing! You were so eager to move on from me and replace my position in your life that's why you think you're in love with him!"

I shook my head in dismay. "Gan'yan ba kataas ang tingin mo sa sarili mo?" I sighed. "Ako ang may damdamin dito, Enzo. Hindi mo p'wedeng diktahan kung ano ang nararamdaman ko ngayon!"

He smirked. "But that was what you always did to me before, remember? Now that you were the one who's being invalidated, you feel awful, right?"

He chuckled. "But that's not the point right now, Ruth. You really think you can fall in love with someone you just met? Let's say yes. You think your feelings will last? No.

"And you want to marry him? Do you think that you'll be truly happy for a long time with him if you did? No, Ruth. You can't fall in love with someone in a span of a month, marry him and expect to be happy in the long run. Life is never a fairy tail, you fucking know that."

I smiled a little. "I don't care. Masaya ako sa kan'ya ngayon. That's what matters to me the most."

"And what about his daughter? You will take him away from that innocent child who needs the love and care of a father? For your own good?" He laughed. "You are being ridiculous. You were better than that. Is that what this little trip did to you? You would really stay with him after knowing that there is a child who needs him? I never knew you dreamed of becoming a mistress, Ruth. I never thought I loved someone like you."

My mouth parted

And then I remember . . . hindi lang ako ang taong involved sa problemang ito . . . sa relasyon namin ni Grayson, may naunang pamilya . . . may anak . . . at ako, biglaan lang dumating sa buhay niya.

Kahit anong isip ang gawin ko, tama si Enzo ngayon. Kaninang umaga, pakiramdam ko, isa akong kabit na naghihintay ng oras na nakalaan para sa akin. And Enzo said that I am acting like a mistress now.

He's right.

I am being ridiculous . . . selfish . . . for wanting to be happy with Grayson by taking him away from an innocent child who needs a father figure. What kind of person am I to think about that?

I already planned on letting go of Grayson. Now, why am I thinking about these things?

Why am I thinking about being happy with him?

In the end, wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ang umiyak na lang nang umiyak. Hindi na ako nakasagot pa sa sinabi ni Enzo dahil tama siya. Tama ang lahat ng sinabi niya.

Enzo pulled me into his arms and hugged me as he rubbed my back to make me calm.

"We will leave this place, okay? You don't have to feel that way. We will leave this place, Ruth. You know that this is for the best."

I cried more in his chest as the pain hit me more because of what he said.

He's right. Love doesn't deserve that.

I, of all people, deserved to be in pain because of how I treated people's feelings in the past.

This is my way of atoning for my sins.

This is my way of making things right.

I'm sorry, Grayson. But I know that you will be happy once again now that you have your family back. You can have your genuinely happy self back.