Buong araw kaming hindi nag-usap ni Grayson pagkatapos n'on. Ni hindi kami sabay kumain ng late lunch. Buong araw lang din akong nasa k'warto niya at inaayos ang mga gamit na minadali kong inempake sa hotel kaninang umaga.

He wasn't around, though. Hindi ko rin siya nakita noong lumabas ako para pumunta sa pharmacy at kahit na kanina, noong nagluto ako ng para sa dinner.

Gusto ko sanang mag-sorry sa kan'ya sa pang-i-invalidate ko but it seems like he's not ready to talk to me, yet.

9:30 p.m. na pero wala pa rin siya. I've decided to eat alone and just wait for him in his room. Sure namang uuwi 'yon. He can't avoid me forever. Besides, it will contradict that thing that he told me earlier.

I can't lose you too, Summer.

Nag-init ang pisngi ko bago inubos na ang natitirang ulam sa plato ko na adobong pusit. Gusto ko pa sanang kumain dahil ang sarap dahil fresh ang seafood but it's lonely to eat in this house alone. Especially that every minute, I always remember Grayson's tone earlier when we had an argument.

He is hurt. I know. Bakit ba kasi ang hilig kong mang-invalidate? Bakit ba kasi hindi ko napapansin sa sarili ko 'yon?

I sighed as I took the dishes to the sink and cleaned them. Sakto naman na narinig ko ang pagdating ng motor niya. Pumunta ako sa harap ng bahay at sinilip siya sa bintana. Sa madilim na labas, nakita ko siyang binubuksan ang gate. Pagkatapos, ipinasok na niya ang motor at i-p-in-ark niya sa garahe.

Nang makitang papasok na siya sa loob, bumalik na ako sa kusina at tinapos ang hinuhugasan. Ilang sandali pa, narinig ko na ang pagbukas ng front door.

"N-Nand'yan ka na pala."

Napapikit pa ako nang mariin sa pagpapanggap na wala akong alam sa pagdating niya. This is fucking embarassing!

Itinaob ko na ang mga plato, baso, kutsara at tinidor sa lagayan bago naglakad papalapit sa kan'ya. He just looked at me as he glanced at the table where the foods I cooked are set.

"N-Nagluto ako ng dinner. Kaso, kumain na ako. Akala ko kasi, mamaya ka pa darating."

Lumunok siya bago yumuko. "I'm sorry, Summer, for keeping you waiting."

Bahagya akong ngumiti. "Okay lang."

Tumingin siya sa akin nang may maliit na ngiti. "Nalibang kasi ako kumuha ng pictures. I'm really sorry."

Umiling ako nang umiling. "Okay lang. Sige na, kumain ka na."

Lumapit ako sa table at ipinaghila siya ng upuan. Bahagya siyang tumawa bago naghila ng upuan sa harap nito, at inilahad ang kamay na parang pinauupo ako ro'n. Ngumiti ako sa kan'ya bago naupo.

"You should eat again, too. Sabayan mo na ako," sabi niya bago naupo na sa harap ko.

Umiling ako. "Hindi na. Busog na ako, eh."

Hindi na siya nagsalita pa. Nagsandok na siya ng kanin sa plato niya maging ng ulam na iniluto ko. I watched him take the first bite of it. His eyes slightly widened before he looked at me.

"Marunong ka pala magluto?" he asked.

"Oo naman. Ilang taon na ba ako?" I laughed.

Ngumiti siya saka tumango-tango. "Masarap. Thank you."

I smiled a little. "I'm sorry about earlier, Grayson. I didn't mean to invalidate your feelings." Bumagal ang pagnguya niya, kasabay ng paunti-unting pagtingin niya pababa sa plato. "Sometimes, I just get so carried away . . . that I forget about other people's feelings. Sometimes, I get to become selfish when it feels like I am being defeated in an argument or if I think, the emotions that I have are better than anyone that I start to discredit theirs. I'm really sorry."

He nodded slightly before looking at me. "I'm sorry too, for trying to control things for the both of us. I'm sorry for deciding alone and for starting the argument earlier. I didn't mean it that way. I . . ." He gulped. "I just want to take care of what's mine today."

My forehead creased. "What?"

He shook his head. "I always think of you as mine. So when you asked me what we are now that we did it, I was lost for words. Akala ko kasi, 'yun na 'yon." He chuckled as he looked down on his plate. "All the reasons why I am so afraid to came back because . . . you're not really mine to begin with . . . right?"

I gulped as I watched and listened to him talk.

"I think too highly of myself. I think of you as my woman—my person—when we never really cleared our relationship before we even . . . made love to each other. Well, even before something even happened between us, even before Hugo came into the picture, I've decided that you're mine already without even consulting you . . . without even asking if it's okay with you. I'm sorry."

I smiled a little because right now, I know that we're responsible adults who can own up to our sins.

"It's okay now. Thank you, Grayson."

He looked at me. "No. Thank you. You're right. We should be clear with all these issues we have for each other before letting ourselves bite the fire and get burned." He nodded slightly. "Let's give each other's time, then."

I nodded as I agreed to what he said. I let him finish his dinner and volunteered to wash the dishes. Ayaw niya pa noong una dahil ako naman na raw ang nagluto pero hindi naman na siya nakahirit.

"Summer . . ."

Lumingon ako sa kan'ya. He's sitting not far from me as he watches me wash the dishes. "Why?" I asked before I rinsed the plate.

"Uhh . . . d-did you already buy your . . . pills?"

I gulped before looking at him once again. "Oo. Kanina. I already took a few pills earlier."

Tumango siya nang marahan. "G-Good, then."

Hindi na ako sumagot pa. Tinapos ko na ang paghuhugas ng pinggan habang siya naman ay nananatili pa rin sa p'westo niya mula kanina. Pinunasan ko ang basang kamay at braso bago lumapit sa kan'ya.

"It's already past 10:00 p.m. Maliligo lang ako, ah?"

Bahagya siyang ngumiti bago tumango. "Okay, then."

Iniwan ko na siya sa kusina na mukhang malalim ang iniisip. Nakakapagtaka nga na wala siyang hawak na alak ngayon dahil, usually, para sa akin, I need a bottle of beer or two as I think of something so seriously.

I took a shower that took so much time because I enjoyed dipping my body with the warm water in the bathtub. It was the most refreshing thing for me. I've never taken long showers back in Manila because I'm always tired. All I wanted to do was just a quick shower and sleep.

Maybe, once in a while, every person needs this kind of break from adulthood. Afterall, this month-long vacation I gave to myself was just nothing compared to the five whole years that I am working to earn money.

I didn't know how long I took a bath. Pagkarating ko sa CR suot ang bathrobe, saktong pagpasok naman ni Grayson. Nanlaki pa ang mga mata niya nang makita ako at lalabas na sana pero pinigilan ko.

"It's okay! I'm not naked!" I laughed.

Nagkamot siya ng ulo. "Sorry. Hindi pa pala ako sanay nang may kasama sa bahay." He chuckled. "Also, akala ko rin tapos ka nang maligo at magbihis. Still, I'm sorry for not knocking."

I nodded as I sat at the edge of his bed. "Okay lang, Grayson! This is your house. Nakikitira lang ako." I laughed as I plugged the hair blower.

He smiled. "I already took a bath sa ibaba. I came here to get a pillow and blanket."

Napakunot-noo ako kasabay ng pag-on ko ng blower. "Why? Hindi ka dito matutulog?"

He gulped. "Of course not. You should sleep here."

"We can sleep togethe—" And then I remembered what we just talked about earlier. "R-Right." Pinatay ko na muna ang hawak na blower since it's really loud! Baka hindi kami magkaintindihan. "Y-You should sleep here. May . . . guest room ka naman. Doon na lang ako."

He shook his head as he took one pillow beside me. "Hindi pa malinis. At wala akong balak linisin."

I laughed. "Bakit naman?"

"Para d'yan ka lang."

I laughed before I walked towards him to take the pillow he's holding. "Dito ka na. Kaya natin matulog nang magkatabi nang walang nangyayari, okay?" pagbibiro ko.

Mabilis na namula ang mukha niya nang dahil do'n. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin kasabay ng pag-alis sa harap ko. "Stop teasing me. I'm not the best man you'll ever know, Summer. I told you."

He sat on the edge of the bed as he wiped his face with both of his palms. I almost laughed because he really looked stressed. "If you're not going to sleep here, I should sleep on the couch below." I sighed. "This is your house, Grayson. You should have the most comfort here."

He laughed. "How can I have comfort when you want me to sleep beside you?"

I sat beside him. "Let's just try not doing anything tonight." He slowly turned to me. "Let's just try."

He gulped repeatedly before sighing. Seconds later, he finally agreed. I smiled at him as I continued drying my hair. Pinanood niya lang ako sa ginagawa ko. Hanggang sa ilang sandali pa, nagsalita siya.

"Really, why do you want me here? You know that when we're alone in this room, we're not the best to control ourselves."

I smiled slightly. "I want us to teach each other to control ourselves. 'Wag kang mag-alala, hindi kita lalandiin."

He chuckled. "You shouldn't, really, because even though you won't flirt with me, I am already turned on, fuck this."

Pinagtawanan ko lang siya at tuluyan nang tinapos ang pagpapatuyo ng buhok. Pagkatapos n'on, nag-apply ako ng skin care ko for tonight. I removed the bathrobe I am wearing since I already have my sleepwear on under that.

Narinig ko ang malalim na pagbuntonghininga ni Grayson, dahilan para mapalingon ako sa kan'ya. Nakatalikod siya sa akin ngayon habang nakasabunot ang kamay sa sariling buhok. I almost laughed.

"Matulog na tayo. Please turn the lights off. Thanks."

Nauna na akong mahiga sa kan'ya sa kama. I tapped the space beside me as I watched him press the switch off. The only light that we have inside his room right now is this lampshade beside me.

"Come on," I said as he stared at me for a while.

He heaved a deep sigh as he walked towards me. "If this doesn't work right, you just made a wrong decision, woman."

I laughed. "Let's just sleep. Inaantok na rin ako. It's past 11:00 p.m. already, for fuck's sake."

He laughed, slightly shaking his head, before lying on the bed.