Nang makarating kami sa Arabelle Suites, Grayson paid the tricycle driver with his own money. Ayaw niya talaga akong pagastusin, huh?

"Grayson, last mo na 'yon, ah!" reklamo ko nang makita ko ang binayad niya sa driver.

He laughed. "No."

Hinila na niya ang dalawang luggage ko papasok sa lobby ng hotel. Nakipag-usap na kami sa clerk para sa accommodation na b-in-ook ko kagabi. Nag-fill up ng form, hanggang sa ibinigay na nga sa akin ang susi ng magiging room ko.

Inihatid kami ni Grayson sa floor at sa magiging room ko. Maayos at malinis naman. Hindi masiyadong malaki dahil mag-isa lang naman ako. Maganda rin ang view sa labas ng bintana kaya sulit na rin.

"Thank you!" sabi ko bago lumabas ang lalaking naghatid sa amin dito.

"You should only stay here for three days again," he said as he put the luggage beside the bed. "Malaki ang mauubos mo rito kapag nagtagal ka."

I chuckled before sitting on the edge of the bed. "Okay lang, may pera naman ako."

Ngumuso siya bago naupo sa couch malapit sa akin. "May k'warto naman sa bahay ko, p'wede ka rin naman do'n. Wala naman akong gagawin sa 'yo."

Tumawa ako nang malakas sa sinabi niya. "Grabe, hindi naman kita pinag-iisipan nang gano'n!"

"Eh . . . bakit ayaw mo?"

I laughed again. "Nakakahiya, ang dami mo nang naitulong sa akin."

He sighed. "Hindi mo na kailangang mahiya sa akin, Summer. I told you to be comfortable with me. Ako lang naman 'to. Simpleng mamamayan lang din ako dito. And I want you to experience the best in this place. Mas okay kung makakatipid ka." He smiled a little. "Malay mo . . . mag-extend ka."

I smiled a little.

Parang kanina lang, iniisip ko na sana, dito na lang talaga ako nakatira. Masiyadong maganda ang mga nakita ko sa ilalim ng dagat kanina. Parang bigla akong nagkaroon ng rason para mag-stay nang mas matagal o manatili.

Pero hindi kasi p'wede. Hindi ito ang buhay ko.

"Hmmm . . ." I responded. I don't know what to say.

"Hmmm?" panggagaya niya.

I laughed. "You don't have to worry about my financial status. Handa naman ako sa magiging gastos."

He took a deep breath before he talked. "Just tell me if you want to stay in my house. Free lang 'yon and you'll feel at home there."

I chuckled. "Sure. Thank you."

"Anyway, uuwi na muna ako sa bahay ko. Magpahinga ka na muna. I'll be back later."

Tumango ako. "Okay, then. Ingat!"

Tumayo na siya at tinungo ang pintuan. Narinig ko na ang pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto—cue na nakaalis na nga siya ng room. Nahiga ako at ibinalot ang kumot sa katawan.

I feel so sleepy and tired.

Damn, isang lugar lang ang pinuntahan namin but why does the day feels so long?

**

Gabi na nang magising ako dahil sa tawag ni Grayson. Mabilis kong sinagot 'yon nang magmulat ng mga mata.

"Hello . . . sorry, kagigising ko—"

"Ruth."

Para akong binuhusang ng malamig na tubig nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses na ilang araw ko nang hindi naririnig mula sa taong hindi ko na rin ulit nakita pa simula nang huling pag-uusap namin.

"E-Enzo . . ."

Bakit ba naisip kong si Grayson ang tumatawag sa akin?

"I . . . I just want to check on you. How were your days there . . . so far?"

I couldn't answer. I wanted to cry because I miss him so much.

"Are you okay there?" he added. "You're . . . alone, right?"

"H-Huh?"

I heard his sigh. "You're alone there. Are you okay?"

I gulped, feeling the heat on my cheeks. "Yes. I'm alone and . . . I'm okay."

The doorbell rang right after I said that.

"Who's that?"

I gulped. "H-Housekeeping."

"Ohh . . ."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit para akong nagchi-cheat sa kan'ya, wala naman na kaming relasyon. Hindi na dapat ako ganito, 'di ba?

"Ruth . . ."

"Hmm?"

The doorbell rang again so I had to stand up and open the door for Grayson. I put my index finger in front of my lips to shut him up. He looked like he's confused but followed me still.

"I . . . I miss you."

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko sa sinabi niyang 'yon. Bumalik ako sa pagkakaupo sa gilid ng kama at itinuloy ang pakikipag-usap kay Enzo.

"Uhm . . . I miss you too, Enzo. How are you feeling now?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I'm getting better. The medications and the treatment works on me. Maybe I really need this, right?"

Maybe we really need to be apart from each other, Enzo.

"I'm sorry for causing you that."

Natahimik siya dahil sa sinabi kong 'yon.

"I'm sorry kasi kailangan mong dumaan sa gan'yan dahil sa akin. I'm sorry, Enzo, that you're suffering now with that. I'm really, really sorry."

He sighed. "You don't have to say sorry. Ruth, it's not your entire fault. May kasalanan din ako. And I'm sorry for making you feel that everything that's happening to my mind now is all because of you. I'm sorry."

Nangilid ang mga luha ko sa sinabi niya. I've never heard this kind of sincerity for so long from him. Hindi ko akalain na ngayon ko maririnig . . . kung kailang malayo ako sa kan'ya.

"When are you coming home?" he asked.

Lumingon ako kay Grayson na hawak ang cellphone at mukhang nagbo-browse. He doesn't seem to care about me so I answered.

"I have a month to stay here but I can go home if you'll ask me to."

For some reasons, para akong nagkaroon ng malaking kasalanan sa taong kasama ko ngayon dito. Tumingin ako ulit sa kan'ya at nakita ko ang bahagyang pagbabago ng expression sa mukha niya. Dumoble ang kaba ko nang makita ang pag-igting ng panga niya.

Is this bad?

"No. You don't have to do that. Just . . . complete your month-long stay there and . . . come home."

I couldn't answer. I continued watching Grayson use his phone even though I know that he's listening to my response.

Pero bakit ba ako kakabahan at magi-guilty sa kan'ya? He's just a friend I met here. He's just a friend who's helping me with my Bohol trip. Wala naman sigurong mali kung maging ganito ako kay Enzo ngayon. After all, he's my . . . ex-boyfriend.

Ex . . . boyfriend.

"Okay, then. I will."

He chuckled. "Come home to me once again, after your month-long trip."

I smiled a little at what he said.

What a beautiful line to hear from his lips but . . . why doesn't it feel the same way?

"I love you, Ruth. Always remember that."

My heart feels so calm right after hearing those words.

It feels so long since the last time he told me that with happiness in his voice. And I don't understand why I am feeling indifferent now.

"I . . . love you."

I imagined him smiling. "I'll wait for you."

"Okay, then."

After I said that, he ended the call. Ibinaba ko ang cellphone sa side table bago ibinaling atensiyon kay Grayson.

"Hi! Sakto ang dating mo, kagigising ko lang."

Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti nang maliit. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

I held my tummy. "Uhm . . . medyo."

He smiled a little. "Let's eat."

After he said that, he stood up, not looking back at me. Nauna na siyang lumabas sa akin ng room habang ako, naiwang kinakabahan sa loob.

Why do I feel like a sinner here? Ano bang ginawa ko?

Why am I feeling guilty over something na hindi naman mali?