Self Pity
Lin quickly arrived at the hospital with Emma, and realized he'd been here a ridiculous number of times in the last few months. Somehow, his kids kept getting hurt. He followed her in on her stretcher and she was wheeled right into a private room. Lin stood back as she was transferred to a hospital bed and hooked up to an IV. Her vitals were taken again.
Emma was distraught, and Lin knew there wasn't really anything he could do to comfort her. She'd been building herself up for this competition for months, and the disappointment seemed debilitating. When the nurses left the room, he pulled up his chair and took a seat next to her bed. Emma kept her arm over her eyes, not wanting to face anyone or anything.
"Are you in pain, sweetheart?" He asked gently.
She shook her head wordlessly. They'd given her some good meds and there was a steady stream coming through her IV. Lin decided not to question her anymore. The doctors would be doing that in a few minutes.
They waited 20 minutes or so before the ER doctor came in to see her. Her leg was slightly bruised and obviously tender to the touch.
"Emma, can you put any weight on this?" He asked her. Lin stood and helped Emma get to her feet. She stood on her left foot and gingerly put her other leg down. Immediately, she winced in pain.
"Okay," the doctor nodded. "How long has this been bothering you?"
"A few weeks," Emma told him as Lin helped her back onto the bed.
"And did you go to a doctor to get it checked out?"
Emma closed her eyes and sighed, deciding she'd better be honest. She shouldn't lie to medical professionals. Well, she shouldn't lie to her parents, either, but that was something she seemed to be doing on a regular basis now.
"No," she said quietly, not looking at Lin.
"Hmm," the doctor said. "So how have you been handling the pain?"
"Advil and just pushing through it," she said.
"Well, I imagine you have a fracture, but we're gonna take some X-Rays to confirm," he said. "If it is indeed a fracture, we'll likely need to put you in a splint or a brace. We'll talk about that when we get the results back. Are you comfortable?"
Emma nodded as she settled back into her bed. The doctor let himself out and Lin sat back down at his chair. Emma knew what he was going to ask next.
"I thought you went to the doctor last week?" He asked her.
She sighed. "I didn't go."
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because it wasn't bothering me that much," she replied.
"And look what it turned into," he told her. "If you'd gone when we'd asked, this could have been avoided, Emma."
"They would have put me in a splint and I wouldn't have been able to compete," she corrected him.
"And how'd competing go for you?" he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, frustrated. "Emma, you can't take risks with your health like this, not to mention lying to me and Vanessa."
"Well, it's over now. It doesn't matter."
"It matters that you're being this reckless with your body," Lin countered.
"Can we just drop it?" She asked, not in the mood.
"For now, but we'll be having some more conversations," he told her.
She sighed, looking down at her legs. She looked ridiculous. One leg still had her tights on, intact, and the other was bare, the pink sheer fabric hanging off.
"Can you ask Vanessa to bring me some track pants and a hoodie?"
"Yep," Lin replied, pulling out his phone to text Vanessa. She replied that her parents were on the way to the house and she'd be there within the half hour.
___
The results came back shortly, and it confirmed that Emma had a fracture in her tibia. It would not require surgery, but she'd need to wear a splint and she obviously couldn't dance. Emma took all the information in, but didn't really respond or question anything. She understood. She'd be on the sidelines for at least a month.
Finally, she was released, and they brought in a wheelchair to take her out to the car. Grumpy, she managed to limp herself to the car with the help of Vanessa. She holed herself up in the backseat, pulling her hoodie over her head and escaping into her phone.
When they arrived home, Emma went straight to her room and just curled up in a ball on her bed. She wasn't in the mood to see Vanessa's parents, or to play with Sebastian and Francisco. There was no motivation to do anything. She drifted into a fitful sleep.
When Emma awoke, it was getting dark in her room. She checked her watch and saw that it was after 7:00. Emma realized she hadn't eaten since mid-morning, and that was only a handful of mixed nuts. Still, she wasn't hungry. Hoping not to run into anyone, she carefully maneuvered herself to the door and poked her head out. The coast was clear and she went across the hall to the bathroom. She couldn't believe her leg was caged up again, this time in a splint. At least it wasn't a cast again. That was the worst. A splint was easy to take on and off.
Emma finished and quietly made her way back across the hall to her room. She laid back down on her bed and grabbed her old teddy bear; her faithful companion. She was about to settle in and binge watch some Netflix when there was a knock at the door. Reluctantly, she told whoever it was to come in.
Vanessa walked in carrying a plate of something. The family had probably already eaten dinner together. Vanessa smiled as she put the plate down on the bedside table. It was a simple sandwich and some carrots and grapes.
"I bought you something to munch on," she said, sitting down on the bed. Vanessa reached out and tucked a stray piece of her long bangs behind her ear. "How are you feeling?"
Emma just shrugged, not in the mood to chat.
"Well, if you're in the mood we're about to pop in a movie. Toy Story."
"I think I'll just stay here," Emma told her. She just wanted to be allowed to wallow in her own self-pity.
"Suit yourself," Vanessa said, standing up to leave.
Emma pulled up something mindless and propped her phone up on her bedside table. She took a couple bites of her sandwich, but couldn't stomach the rest of it.
___
Emma fell asleep on her bed, still dressed in her track pants and hoodie. She awoke around 9 a.m., hearing the sounds of Sebastian running around the house. The kid had way too much energy. He'd probably already been up for hours.
Remembering the events of the day before, she let her head fall back down on the pillow. It was Sunday. What was the point of even trying to get up today? She went to the bathroom and then went straight back to her room.
Out in the kitchen, Lin and Vanessa were aware of the sounds of Emma moving around. They were both nursing cups of coffee, hoping to have a relaxing day at home, and figure out a game plan for Emma. Obviously, she was crushed, but she couldn't just hole herself up in her room all day.
"I think she just went back to her room," Lin observed.
"Poor kid," Vanessa said, staring into her coffee cup.
"Poor kid?" Lin questioned. "She mostly brought this on herself. If she'd gone to the doctor like we'd asked, it never would have gotten this bad."
"But are you really that surprised, Lin?" She pointed out.
Lin scrubbed a hand over his goatee. "No. She's too stubborn for her own good."
Vanessa nodded in agreement. "So what are we gonna do?"
Lin pondered for a moment. "Is reverse grounding a thing?" He asked his wife. "Can we not allow her to stay in her room and make her go out?"
"So who's gonna go blow some sunshine up her ass?" Vanessa asked.
"My turn, I guess," Lin said. He poured another coffee for Emma, putting in two scoops of sugar, then picked up his own coffee cup and headed back to Emma's room. He knocked and then pushed open the door. Emma looked pitiful laying on her bed. He set down her mug on her bedside table, then moved her old dinner plate out of the way. She'd barely touched it.
Emma sat up and took the coffee.
"So, do you plan on staying in here all day?" He asked her, sitting down and leaned forward on his elbows.
"Pretty much," she said, blowing on her coffee.
"And is that gonna make anything better?"
"No, but I think I deserve to be able to wallow in my own self pity for a while," she told him honestly.
"That's not the Emma I know," he told her. "You're a fighter."
"I'm an invalid," she quipped.
He raised his eyebrows at her. "It's all temporary, Em."
"I know! Everyone keeps saying that, but right now it just sucks."
"It does," he admitted. "I'm sure it would probably feel good to lay around all day and feel sorry for yourself, but couldn't you do something better with your time?"
"Like what?"
"We could go out somewhere," he suggested.
"No thanks," she said, savoring the overly sweet coffee.
"Well, too bad," Lin said, slapping his thighs as he got up. "We're reverse grounding you."
Emma gave him a puzzled look.
"You're not allowed to stay in your room all day," he told her. "So get up and hit the shower. Then you can decide where we go for brunch."
Emma rolled her eyes, wishing she would just be left alone. Lin picked up her old dinner plate and headed for the door. "Chop chop!"
___
An hour later, they were all crowded around a circular table at a local diner. Emma still wasn't hungry, but she tried nibbling at her toast and eggs to make Lin and Vanessa happy. Despite the sunshine and the decent temperature, she was morose. Alexis was tired of the dark cloud hanging over the table.
"Snap out of it, will you?" She told her sister.
"What's up your butt?" Emma asked her.
Sebastian laughed. "Butt!!"
"So you hurt your leg," Lexi explained. "Big whoop. You could have prevented it."
"Oh, are you a medical doctor now or something?"
"No, I just have common sense. If your leg hurts for weeks, you get it checked out by a doctor."
"Well excuse me for being dedicated to my craft," Emma picked apart her toast and let it fall to her plate.
"Excuse you for being dedicated to being stupid," Alexis quipped. She was so tired of her sister being so melodramatic when it was all her fault anyway.
"Girls, that's enough," Lin told them. He was hoping to have a nice family breakfast but it wasn't really going very well. The sisters glared at each other from across the table. Vanessa tried to change the subject.
"So, Sebastian has something exciting coming up this week," she announced. The little boy giggled and grinned, knowing what his mother. "Seb, do you want to tell everybody?"
"I'm gonna do a play!" He said.
Vanessa nodded, pushing his hair back. "His preschool class is performing some songs. He's been working very hard."
Everyone made a point out of making a big deal out of it. Sebastian loved being the center of attention, much like his dad. Already, they anticipated him trying to steal the show. He lived for the applause.
Soon, the meal was finished and it was time to head back home. Francisco was already getting cranky and needed to go down for his mid-morning nap. Vanessa took him straight back to his room when they arrived. Emma tried to sneak off, but Lin stopped her.
"Hey hey hey," he called after her. "Don't even think about it. Park it out here with us."
"I have homework," she told him.
"Do it later," he said. "Let's relax this afternoon." Emma reluctantly plopped herself down on the couch and turned on the television. Sebastian demanded Team Umizoomi. Emma obeyed his command, not wanting to listen to a tantrum. She thought the show was terrible. Sebastian cuddled up with her on the couch, and she had to admit it felt pretty good.
Out of the blue, Sebastian turned to her. "Emma, are you my sister?"
Emma froze, not sure how to answer. For all intents and purposes, she was. "Of course, buddy."
"Then why isn't your last name Miranda like mine?" He asked.
She let out a sigh. "Well, I had a different mommy and daddy. But now I'm part of your family."
"And now daddy's your daddy and mommy's your mommy?" He reasoned in his three year old logic.
"Yep," she said.
"And Wexi too?"
"Lexi too," she said.
Emma sat thinking about Sebastian's innocent question. He didn't know that his parents were actually thinking about officially adopting her and Lexi. What would be so bad about being adopted and officially being part of a family? She hugged Sebastian a little more tightly and smelled his hair.
When the credits rolled, Sebastian pulled Emma off the couch to go play with his toys. Emma humored him, playing along. They played trains, they read books, and then they colored together. Vanessa walked out and found them, happy to see that Emma was up and interacting with people. Sebastian was good for pulling people out of their grumpiness. Her kid was magic. And he was pretty adorable.
Before she knew it, it was 4:00 in the afternoon. Now she really did need to start her homework. She excused herself to her room, but found herself able to focus and concentrate.
Later that evening, the boys had been put to bed, and all that was left was a little bit of homework to do. Lin poured himself and his wife a glass of wine and sat down on the couch to relax. Lexi went off to her room to do something, so Emma took the opportunity to sit down with her parents. They really were her parents now. They were helping her get through this crisis; they weren't letting her curl up into herself and feel sorry for herself.
"How are you feeling, Em?" Vanessa asked, tucking her feet up underneath her. She was already dressed in her cozy clothes – sweatpants and a t-shirt. No matter how she dressed, she managed to look amazing.
"So-so," she admitted as she plopped herself down. "The pain pills are great."
"I bet," Vanessa said. "You feel up to going to school tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I think so," she said. "Not sure what I'll do during ballet class."
"Mrs. Phillips will figure it out," she said.
"Ummm...I've been thinking," Emma started. "About the whole adoption thing."
Lin and Vanessa waited patiently for her to continue.
"Sebby actually got me thinking," she admitted, thinking back to their conversation earlier. "He asked if I was his sister, and I said yes. Because, I basically am. We live together, and I love him. And we're...we're family. So it made me think, why not make it official?"
She finally looked over at them, and she could tell they were excited, but didn't want to sway her decision with their feelings.
"So, you want us to adopt you?" Lin clarified, his hand on his wife's leg.
Emma looked down at her hands, then back up at them. "Yeah, I think so." She let herself smile.
Lin broke out into a grin. "That's great news, Em." He stood up and walked over to her, pulling her up for a hug. "You've felt like our daughter for so long now, and I'm so glad you want to make it official."
Emma buried her face in his shoulder, relishing the feeling of his hug. After losing her family in the worst possible way, she felt incredibly lucky to get a second family. Vanessa stood and joined in on the hug. They stood there for several moments, celebrating Emma's decision. A voice from the hallway snapped them out of their moment.
"So when were you gonna let me in on this?" Lexi asked, her arms crossed. They all looked over towards her, seeing a hurt look on her face.
"Lexi," Vanessa said as they pulled away from each other. "We wanted to ask Emma first just to feel things out."
"And she just gets to decide?" Lexi protested. "You guys aren't even going to ask me what I think?"
"Sweetheart, no," Lin told her, stepping towards her. "We just weren't sure how you were going to take it. Since Emma's a bit older, we thought she might know how you'd feel. We didn't want to upset you if she didn't think it was a good idea."
"Well she doesn't know how I feel," Lexi said, her voice full of hurt. "And she doesn't get to decide if you adopt me or not."
"Of course not, Alexis," Vanessa said gently. They were both inching towards her, hoping to calm her down. "It's your choice completely. We wanted to sit you down and talk about it together. Why don't you come join us?"
"Well my answer is no," she said, tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be part of this stupid family." She turned around and ran to her room, slamming the door. They all sighed and sat down. A minute ago, they were all elated. They hadn't anticipated the news getting to Lexi this way.
"Wow," Lin said. "We really blew that."
"We should have just included her from the beginning," Vanessa said, kicking herself mentally. Why didn't they think Lexi could handle this? Now Lexi thought her new parents didn't think she was capable of being part of such a decision.
"I think she'll come around," Emma said, knowing her sister. She never liked to be thought of as a little kid. When she wasn't trusted because she was 'just a kid', it bothered her. Once it was clear that she was very much part of the decision, she'd be fine.
"You think so?" Lin asked her.
"Yeah," Emma nodded. "She didn't find out the greatest way, but once she's part of it, she'll be fine. Just kiss up to her a bit."
Emma excused herself to go finish off the last of her homework, and Lin and Vanessa decided to hang out in the living room a little bit. They figured Lexi needed a bit of time to herself before they went in to talk to her. After a good 45 minutes, they cleaned up the kitchen and turned out the lights before going to Alexis's room together.
Lin knocked gently on the door. "Lex, can we come in and talk?"
"Go away!" she responded, clearly not over it yet.
"Come on, sweetheart. Let's talk," he insisted. She didn't respond this time, so he decided to push the door open. Lexi sat on her bed, several photo albums set out across her bedspread. Lin and Vanessa sat down on either side of her and looked at the pages that were open. It was old family photo albums with her parents, Phil and Melissa.
Without saying anything, Lin and Vanessa both thumbed through some of the pictures as Lexi sniffled.
"How old were you here?" Vanessa asked gently, pointing to a photo of her at the beach.
"Five I think," she replied, her voice soft. They continued to thumb through the albums, making comments and laughing at a couple of them together. Vanessa closed the album she'd been looking at and held it on her lap.
"Lexi, we just wanted to apologize for the way you found out about us wanting to adopt you," she began, taking the girl's hand. "We didn't mean to leave you out, but we realize we should have included you in this from the beginning."
"Why didn't you ask me when you asked Emma?" She asked.
"Well, like Lin said, we weren't sure if you'd like the idea or not, and we thought Emma might have an inkling. But we made a mistake."
Lexi nodded her head. "I didn't even know you guys were thinking about it."
Vanessa and Lin exchanged eye contact. "Well, let's start from the beginning," Lin suggested. "Just like we did with Emma. Right now, we're your legal guardians, which means we're responsible for you in every way. But, it's not really a permanent arrangement. Since we feel like you're part of our family now, we'd like to make it official by adopting you."
Lexi took in the information. "Would anything change?"
"Well, you would have our last name, Miranda," he said. "But otherwise, no. You can keep calling us Lin and Vanessa."
"And what if I don't want you to adopt me?"
"Then that's totally fine," Vanessa said. "Everything can stay the way it is. Your last name would still be Parker, and we'd love you just the same."
"But, you want to adopt me?" she clarified, looking back and forth between them.
"Yes," Vanessa said. "Very much so."
"We've had a lot of time to think about this," Lin told her. "And Emma's had a few days herself. I know it was a bit of a shock for you to walk out to the living room and overhear all this, so you need to take some time to think these over. And talk with Emma about it too. You're both in the same boat. Do you have any more questions for us?"
She thought for a moment, then shook her head no. Vanessa gently stroked her hair and tucked a few strands behind her ear lovingly. "You're an amazing kid. We'll love you no matter what choice you make."
Lexi nodded her head, taking it all in. "It's past your bedtime now, so why don't you get in your jammies and brush your teeth," she suggested. "I can come back and tuck you in."
They both stood up to leave. Lin leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "Good night, kiddo. I love you."
Vanessa hung back as Lin left to go to the master bedroom. Vanessa began putting the photo albums back and Lexi disappeared to brush her teeth and change. She emerged a couple minutes later to find Vanessa pulling her sheets back. That's what mothers did, she thought. She just watched for a few moments as Vanessa got everything in place. When Vanessa looked up at her and smiled, she walked over and climbed in. She laid down and allowed the covers to be pulled up tight to her chin. Vanessa sat down on the bed and stroked her face lovingly.
"Are you feeling better now?" She asked softly.
Lexi nodded. "Sorry I got so mad earlier."
"It's okay," Vanessa assured her. "It was a shocking thing to overhear. Anyways, push that out of your mind for now and just relax. Get a good night's sleep."
Vanessa gave her a gentle bop on the nose then kissed her forehead. "Good night, Lexi. I love you."
"Love you too," Lexi said as Vanessa stood up. She walked over to the door and poised her finger over the light switch.
"Vanessa?" Lexi called out. Vanessa raised her eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. "I'm pretty sure it'll be a yes. I know I said no earlier, but I was just upset."
Vanessa smiled. "Okay, sweetheart. I'm glad to hear that. Take your time though, okay? It's a big decision."
Lexi nodded and snuggled down further into her bed and closed her eyes, a peaceful look on her face. Vanessa watched her for a few more moments before turning out the light and gently closing the door.
She quietly walked down the hall to the master bedroom, where Lin had already brushed his teeth and changed. He was climbing into bed as she walked in and joined him. She was smiling.
"What?" Lin asked her.
"I think she's going to say yes," she told him. Lin looked over at his wife and let a small smile creep to his mouth. Whoever would have thought their little family would have opened itself up to two girls. Yet somehow, it seemed like it all fit into place perfectly. Vanessa settled down into bed, laying on her side to face her husband. They exchanged a loving kiss as they let the realization settle in – their family was about to officially grow from 4 to 6.
A/N: I love votes and comments. :-) Make my day!
P.S. Remember to check out my new stories, That Would Be Enough!
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