#####
Messenger
Lotte

Lotte:
I've been helping you
with ziah already

Its so hard to pretend to like you, you know? 😔

I told you she's a hard nut to
crack haha

Ryker:
she makes me harder haha jk

i dont mind

she's ziah for pete's sake

if she makes this hard for me (like how she does with my d) i'll accept it wholeheartedly haha

Lotte:
Ikaw bahala

But I'm warning you lang ha

If this is all games for you,
fuck you agad haha

Ryker:
life fucks me hard already haha
no need to remind me 🫶🏻

#####

Chapter 6

It's hard to trust someone when it's easy for most people to betray you without even trying. Pareho kaming naninimbang ni Ryker sa tinginan naming dalawa. I know that he was waiting for me to bite the bait.

"I forgot my red bag in your condo unit," sabi ko kay Ryker. "P'wede ko ba makuha?"

He shrugged off then took his time to say goodbye to his friends. Ang ilang mga babae ay naintriga sa akin. It was like an open secret, they knew that there's something between us but they're also clueless about it.

Against my better judgment, I went with Ryker to his car. Sumama ako nang hindi man lang inisip kung ano ang posibleng mangyari. Siya naman ay kalmanteng iginagawad ang kamay n'ya sa aking baywang.

Binalik na n'ya kay Eastre yung leather jacket. Hindi ko alam kung paano nakagawa ng paraan si Eastre na hindi magmukhang baduy ang pagsuot no'n. Ang init-init kaya sa Pilipinas. . .pero in fairness dahil bagay naman ito sa kan'ya.

Sa gitna ng mga naglalarong ilaw sa dilim, hawak-hawak n'ya ang kamay ko na para bang naniniguro siyang hindi ako mawawala sa paningin n'ya.

"Ilang beses na tayong nagkasabay ng pinupuntahan na bar," I pointed out. Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa napagtantuan. "Were you following us? Dahil kay Lotte?"

"No?" Halakhak ni Ryker. "It must be the fates trying to tie you with me. Ikaw kasi. . .bilis mo makalimot."

"Bakit? Why would you expect me to remember you?" pagbubusa ko sa kan'ya. "Ikaw rin naman ah? You look like you'd tear her apart and depart."

Natawa si Ryker sa sinabi ko. His shoulders moved as he let out his laughter. Nangunot ang noo ko. Sige, tumawa ka lang! Sa susunod talaga ay siya ang sasagot sa wheelchair ko!

"I'm sorry for tearing you apart, babe. Kung di ka naman kasi umuwi agad, baka may round six pa tayo."

"Kahit may quiz tayo?" Nag-angat ako ng kilay sa kan'ya.

"Hmm, after the quiz, syempre," he grinned at me. "Wala man nga lang tayong cuddle. Para akong nagkama ng multo, alam mo ba yun? Bigla-bigla kang nawala," he said.

I was guilty of those charges. Hindi ko rin naman siya inaasahan sa mga bagay na iyon. The cuddles and after care are for those who want intimacy and emotional attachment. Hindi ko alam kung kailangan ko ba iyon dahil ayoko nga magkaroon ng kahit anong koneksyon sa kan'ya.

"Sabi ko nga kung multo ka, I hope you can haunt me forever," malambing na sabi ni Ryker.

Pinilig ko lang ang ulo ko. He knows his words well, he weaves them perfectly as if it will be your new refuge until you can't move away from his webs anymore. Sanay na ako sa mga lalaki, pero ibang klase rin talaga itong si Ryker Adeva. He made it seem easy for him to get girls.

Sa loob ng Range Rover n'ya ay agad akong pumasok sa passenger seat. Sinipat ako ni Ryker at ngumisi.

"You've found your spot, huh," he said as soon as I was able to put on the seat belt.

"I don't even know why I went with you, alam ko naman na hindi ka seryoso. . ." I confronted him.

"Di mo ba talaga alam? O hindi mo lang tanggap?" He chuckled as he maneuvered the steering wheel using only one hand.

"Tanggap na?"

"You like me?" He smirked while the traffic lights were gleaming red. "There's no shame in liking someone."

"I don't," halakhak ko sa kan'ya. "Kung gusto kita, edi sana hindi ko na binagsak quiz ko at niyakap na lang kita buong araw."

"You weren't satisfied?" Nangunot ang noo n'ya.

"Barely," I lied, I know for a fact that he's a great fuck. I just didn't want to inflate his ego.

"All the more reasons we should do a reenactment," tawa n'ya. "Hmm, when are you free?"

Ilang beses akong kumarap sa tanong n'ya. Hindi makapaniwala sa narinig.

This doesn't sound right.

Hindi ko alam bakit para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig at pinasok sa refrigerator. I was petrified on my spot because is he asking me to have another encounter with him? Isn't that. . .highly unlikely?

Si Lotte na tsismosa na mismo ang nagsabi sa amin na hindi umuulit si Ryker. He would make someone fall for him and when the night is over, the magic is done. Parang cinderella lang.

"I don't know. . ." sabi ko sa mahinang tono. "Why would we do it again?"

"Kasi. . .you weren't satisfied? I don't have a stain on my record," sabi ni Ryker.

"I won't tell anyone that," sabi ko sa kan'ya. Hindi rin naman totoo na hindi ako nag-enjoy. I just didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that fact.

"Because it's not true?" Ngumiti si Ryker kahit ang mga mata ay nasa kalsada. "So, you did enjoy our night."

Napalunok naman ako. Natawa siya nang makita ang reaksyon ko. Alam n'ya rin na masarap siya eh. Humaba ang nguso ko habang napalingon na lang sa may bintana. I don't want him to push it down further. Okay na 'yan. Huwag na siya umasa na sasagutin ko ang mga tanong n'ya tungkol doon.

"Bakit ka uulit sa akin?" I straightforwardly asked. "It's not like you would gain anything from me."

"You. . ." he blurted out. "You make me nervous. I feel like I need to always get your approval. Babe, you made me feel like I was born just to please you."

He said those words while looking at my eyes, hindi ko alam kung bakit napatitig din ako sa mga mata n'ya. Para siyang nakikiusap sa tingin na binibigay n'ya sa akin. As if he wants to be acknowledge by me.

"People pleaser ka pala eh," basag ko sa sinabi n'ya. Pero putangina, napangiti ako ni gago. Badtrip! Hindi maganda ito!

"Correction, I'm a Ziah pleaser," he laughed and tilted his head to my direction. "What would I need to do to please you?"

"Hmm," umakto akong nagi-isip pero alam ko naman na wala rin akong gusto mula sa kan'ya. "Magtino ka? Hirap ba masyado?"

"Hindi pa ba ako matino sa 'yo?" Ngumuso n'ya.

"May matino bang lalaki na may hawak na agad na ibang babae last week lang? Sa baywang pa?" I fired back at him.

I couldn't remove that scene in my head. Para sa akin ay dapat doon pa lang ay alam ko na agad na hindi n'ya kaya maging seryoso. So, whatever he wants right now, it will eventually fade in time. Libog lang siguro talaga.

Napangisi siya. "Ikaw ah, sinisilip mo ako. Can't get your eyes off me, babe?"

I scoffed at his reaction. "Asa ka pa."

He exhaled. "I won't touch other girls anymore if it bothers you."

"Bakit? Ano naman kung di ko gusto na may iba kang babae? It shouldn't concern me," sabi ko sa kan'ya, pero alam ko sa sarili ko na paalala na rin iyon sa akin.

It should not bother me at all if there were other girls, because I'm only one of them. I don't have a magical pussycat that will tie him to me.

"I don't like you with other guys either," pag-amin ni Ryker. Ang mga mata ay focus pa rin sa daan. Bahagyang naging seryoso ang mukha n'ya.

"So, what are you insinuating?" Halakhak ko sa kan'ya. "Do you want to date me?"

Hindi siya nakasagot.

See? Wala sa bokabularyo n'ya iyon. He only wants me because he thinks I didn't beg for his attention. I didn't cling to him like most girls. He only likes the chase but he doesn't like me.

"Do you want us to be. . .fubu?" tanong ko agad sa kan'ya.

Nanglaki ang mga mata n'ya. "What? Fubu?"

"Fuck buddies, gano'n. If you really want to keep in touch with me. . .I can offer you that," I shrugged off despite my heart pounding against my chest.

Aamin na rin siguro ako, I like the idea of having a physical connection with him. Kung mas maaga namin bibigyan ng label ang kung ano mang nararamdaman namin para isa't isa, the better it is for us to make it work. Pisikal lang. . .hindi siya p'wedeng makapasok sa emosyon ko.

"Exclusive," anas n'ya. "I want us to be exclusive fubus then."

"By exclusive?"

His tongue poked his inner cheek. "No other guys."

Tumaas ang kilay ko sa kan'ya. "No other girls for you, then?"

Humalakhak siya. "Hmm, I don't even want other girls anymore. I only want you."

"Fine. . ." Napalunok ako habang kinukurot ang sariling daliri. The aircon was getting colder. "Paano set up natin?"

"What do you mean?"

"Huwag mo akong araw-arawin, gago ka," I hissed at him. Baka di na wheelchair kailangan ko, baka rektang bedridden ang mangyari sa akin!

Nanglaki ang mga singkit n'yang mata at bumunghalit ang tawa. Ang gwapo n'ya tumawa, nakakainis.

"Okay," tumango siya. "Every other day na lang."

"Tarantado."

"But how would I know if you're available?" Ngumuso siya sa akin.

"Bag."

"What?" His forehead knotted upon hearing the word. "Anong bag?"

"Iiwan ko yung red bag ko sa condo mo or. . .I'll say it as an excuse that my red bag is in your condo," paliwanag ko sa kan'ya.

"Just like what you did. . .tonight?" Ngumisi siya nang mapagtantuan ang ginawa ko.

Tumango naman ako. Matalino nga talaga siya. Napansin n'ya pala agad ang ginawa ko.

I didn't leave my red bag in his condo. Alam ko sa sarili ko na dala-dala ko ito dahil nung isang gabi ay ginamit ko pa ito. It means. . .naghanap lang ako ng rason para sumama sa kan'ya. It wasn't because I left a bag in his condo.

Napasinghap ako.

I knew that he was bad for me. . .but like how cigarettes already have labels on how bad they could be. . .I took a risk of taking a taste of pleasure and relief. The only downside is no one told me that this could be addicting. . .

"So, tonight?" Namaos ang boses n'ya. Halatang hindi na makapaghintay.

Natawa ako. "Grabe? Hindi man lang bukas?"

"Hmm. . .even here, babe," aniya at pinarada ang kotse n'ya sa parking lot ng kan'yang condo. Nasa Tower A na pala kami. "I could do you even here."

Ngumuso ako sa kan'ya. "Recline your chair."

Dali-dali n'yang sinunod ang utos ko sa kan'ya na para bang bata. I roamed my eyes around before slowly positioned myself on top of him. Nilagay ko ang aking mga braso sa kan'yang balikat.

"I miss you. . ." He started to kiss my shoulders to my neck until he took a peck on my lips.

Hinabol ko ang mga halik n'ya. We were kissing, biting each other's lips, while his hands for forming small circles on my bare back.

"Fuck. . ." Hinihingal na sabi ni Ryker. "Tangina."

"Hmm?" I moved a bit when I was able to feel his bulge against his pants. "O-okay na pala."

"W-what?" Nanglaki ang mga mata n'ya. His jaw clenched as my words left my mouth.

"Let's stop here," ngisi ko sa kan'ya. "I'm good na."

"Ziah?" Naiiyak sa frustration na sabi ni Ryker. "Babe? Please? Finish me off, at least?"

"One of my rules din pala. . ." I said as my lips brushed his neck more. "I want to be the one who leads. . .the one who controls. . .so Ryker, I hope you know how you can take care of yourself tonight. Uuwi na ako."

"Si Maria makakasama ko?" Ngumuso si Ryker.

"Who's Maria?" Kumunot ang noo ko. Kakasabi lang na walang ibang babae!?

"Mariang palad."

"Ulol," I kissed him on his lips. "Itulog mo na lang 'yan."

I went home with a satisfied grin knowing that I've left him wondering about me all night. Tama, ganito lang dapat. Siya ang mas hulog, siya ang mas nasa panganib. I should guard my heart when it comes to him. Hindi dapat. . .bumaliktad ang posisyon naming dalawa.